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Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.35 “Tin Pan Payoff”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey goes undercover!

Episode 1.35 “Tin Pan Payoff”

(Dir by David Alexander, originally aired on June 9th, 1958)

After songwriter Chick Williams is found murdered in his apartment, the only clue that the police have going for them is a vinyl record spinning on Chick’s record player.  (Welcome to 1958!)  The singer on the record is Sally Masters (Ellen Parker), a local nightclub performer.  The police figure out that it’s a “demo record.”  Sally is the number one suspect so Casey goes undercover as a music agent and discovers just how cutthroat the business can be.

This episode was a whodunit.  It turns out that Chick cheated and betrayed a lot of people in his life.  It seems like the entire city of New York has a motive but, since this is Decoy, Casey quickly narrows it down to four suspects.  Casey going undercover as a music agent was actually more interesting than the mystery itself, if just because Casey got to dress up and hang out in one of those wonderfully atmospheric New York nightclubs.  She also learned about how DJs like Jerry Lynch (Lee Bergere) can make someone a star and also how even successful songwriters like Chick Williams occasionally employed “a ghost writer.”  Watching Decoy, it’s hard not to feel that the best thing about Casey’s job is that she has an unlimited wardrobe and she gets to investigate every single facet of New York society.

Like a lot of the later Decoy episodes that I’ve seen, this episode isn’t quite as gritty as the earlier episodes.  There’s less emphasis on Casey as a tough cop and more on Beverly Garland looking glamorous undercover.  That said, Casey still gets the job done and takes a few minutes to speak directly to the audience.  One thing I appreciate about Casey is that she doesn’t let her own feelings get in the way of doing her job.  At a time when women were often portrayed being too flighty or emotional to be trusted in a position of authority, Casey always got results.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 4.5 “….The Clock Runs Out”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, Joe Hears meets his fate.

Episode 4.5 “….The Clock Runs Out”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 2nd, 1988)

Poor Joe Hearns!

Last episode, Joe went from being a skid row windshield cleaner to being a defense coordinator to being a linebacker on the team.  This episode …. well, he dies.

Seriously.

It’s not a particularly noble death either.  After a rookie player (played by Kevin Sorbo, of all people) is seriously injured in a prank involving a bull, Hearns decides to go back to the farm and challenge the bull himself.  The show ends with the bull charging at Hearns and since Harold Sylvester (the actor who played Hearn) is not listed as having appeared in any episode of 1st & Ten beyond this one, I can only assume that the bull won.

Seriously, what was the point of that whole storyline?  Bubba, Jethro, and TD all thought that Joe Hearns would be able to redeem himself on the Bulls.  Hearns turned out to be suffering from massive PTSD, the result of having crippled an opposing player the last time he played.  This episode, Joe has a near breakdown when one of the team’s new executives reprimands Joe for parking in his spot.  And then Joe dies.  I guess the lesson here is that he would have been better off if Bubba and Jethro had just left him in that parking lot.

Watching this show, I get the feeling that the writers really didn’t have much direction in the writing room.  It’s amazing how often a potentially interesting character like Joe Hearn will be introduced and then dropped an episode later.  There have been so many storylines that have been started and abandoned in a similar fashion.  This very season started with the Bulls players buying the team and then, three episodes later, they decided that they didn’t want to be team owners after all.

The one thing that remains consistent?  The bland affability of OJ Simpson.  OJ may not have been a particularly good actor but he certainly was personable.  That undoubtedly paid off for him later in life.

Unfortunately, Joe Hearns was not personable.  And now, he’s dead.

(Actually, so is OJ.)

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.24 “A Rose Is Not A Rose/Novelties/Too Rich and Too Thin”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you.  And love …. won’t hurt anymore…. Actually, that’s not quite true.  There’s some real pain in this week’s episode.  Then again, there’s also Don Adams and Rich Little.  It’s all a bit strange, to be honest.

Episode 7.24 “A Rose is Not a Rose/Novelties/Too Rich and Too Thin”

(Dir by Neil Cox, originally aired on March 17th, 1984)

Hey, Don Adams is on The Love Boat …. again!  This time, he’s playing a novelties salesman who is in love with Audrey Meadows.  Meadows, however, assumes that Adams is only pursuing her because he wants to place his gag gifts in her store.  Adams doesn’t help his case by constantly bringing up his novelties.  This was a silly story.  It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t particularly memorable.  It was pleasant in the way that watching an old sitcom with a grandparent can be pleasant.

Both Doc and the Captain have fallen for Jamie Sloane (Jamie Lynn Bauer), an actress who is up for a big commercial.  Jamie worries about her weight.  She pops diet pills like crazy.  She doesn’t eat at dinner.  Yes, that’s right — The Love Boat deals with anorexia!  And there’s nothing wrong with that except for the tonal whiplash that comes from having a relatively serious story about a potentially fatal condition playing out next to Don Adams trying to sell novelty gifts and Rich Little pretending to be a woman.

Yep, impressionist Rich Little boards the cruise.  He’s playing Barry Corwin, the best friend of singer Rose York.  Rose has been hired to sing on the boat but she’s fallen ill.  So, Barry boards the boat disguised as Rose …. no, come back.  Come back.  This is really dumb but at least let me finish the review.  Of course, passenger Radford Harcourt (Arte Johnson) falls for Rose.  In fact, no one figures out that Rose is actually Barry, even though Rose has a noticeable five o’clock shadow and is wearing a pretty obvious wig.  Meanwhile, Barry falls for Julie.

And again, it’s not that this is really a bad story.  It’s pretty much a standard silly Love Boat story.  But there’s just a massive tonal whiplash here as the episode goes back and forth from Don Adams and Rich Little to a woman dying to be thin.  As such, this episode really doesn’t work.

But I know what you really want to know.

How coked up was Julie?

Obviously, very coked up.  I mean, she didn’t even notice that the cruise’s entertainer was just Rich Little in a wig.  Somehow, I can’t help but think this could have been avoided if Ace had been on this cruise but this the second week in a row that the ship has sailed without its photographer on board.

This was an odd cruise.  Eating disorders suck.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.7 “Damaged Goods”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike cops are it again.

Episode 4.7 “Damaged Goods”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on October 4th, 1998)

Bobby has a new girlfriend named Annie (Tracy Hutson).  Bobby says that he’s in love with her.  Meanwhile, Granger is in lust with Annie’s best friend, Jo (Shannon Elizabeth, in an early role).  After Granger sleeps with Jo, Jo tells him that he owes her $200.  It turns out that both Jo and Annie get paid to have sex.  Meanwhile, Annie’s roommate is found dead below a 6-story window.

Chris is convinced that Annie’s roommate was murdered.  TC and Cory disagree.  TC is especially angry because he thinks Chris is spending too much time hanging out with her friends in Homicide.  Oddly enough, none of those friends show up in this episode.  As well. no one from the Vice Squad shows up to investigate the campus prostitution ring.  Instead, this is yet another episode where it somehow all falls to the bicycle cops.

Monica goes undercover and joins Jo and Annie’s therapy group, where Dr. Alicia Alper (Joyce Hyser) teaches that prostitution is empowering.  Soon, Jo recruits Monica to work as a an escort.  Or, at least, I think it was Jo.  This episode is edited in such a haphazard way that it was hard to keep track of what was actually going on.

This episode finds Cory worrying about how she’s going to survive as a single mom.  Her ex-boyfriend, Doug (Owen McKibben), returns and says that he wants to be in the baby’s life.  Cory says that it’s been over a month since Doug reacted to the news of her pregnancy by walking out on her.  Doug threatens to sue for the right to be a part of the baby’s life.  Cory has a miscarriage.  She says it was due to the stress Doug put her under.  Doug says that it was due to Cory still working a very physically demanding and rough job despite being pregnant.  I felt so bad for Cory in this episode, especially since the only person (other than Doug) who bothered to visit her in the hospital was Chris, who is pretty much incapable of feeling or showing emotion.

Anyway, it turns out that Annie’s roommate was murdered by a client and then the client was murdered by Dr. Alper.  However, when the bike cops arrest her, several other woman all walk up and declares that Dr. Alper is innocent because they killed the client.  However, Dr. Alper confesses.  Bobby breaks up with his girlfriend.  That’s probably for the best.  Everyone knows Bobby should be with Monica.

This episode …. oh God.  I mean, it tried to liven things up a little.  There were a lot of intense interrogation scenes and a lot of jump cuts that were apparently meant to create tension.  We would watch Chris ask a question and then jump to someone in a totally different room answering an unrelated question.  It was very showy but it wasn’t very effective.  These folks aren’t hard-boiled detectives.  They’re bicycle cops.

Seriously, where were the real detectives?

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.6 “Brian’s Girlfriend”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, it’s a 4th of July episode that aired in September.

Episode 2.6 “Brian’s Girlfriend”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 24th, 1994)

Oh Hell, it’s another country club episode.

The country club is having a tip competition for the 4th of July.  Whoever gets the most tips will have their earnings matched by the club.  Megan wants to win so she can send her parents on a cruise.  (How did Bayside go from being a school full of wealthy trust fund brats to one full of poor people?)  Bobby decides to give her all of his tips so she can win.  That sounds like cheating to me.

Meanwhile, due to Screech’s stupidity, Mr. Belding ends up with a terrible sunburn.  (Screech was supposed to bring the sunscreen but he brought salad dressing instead.)  This leads to countless scenes of Screech slapping Belding on the back and causing him agonizing pain.  Ha ha, I guess.

Meanwhile, Brian makes Rachel jealous by pretending to like the new tennis instructor (Brittney Powell).  She likes him too, even though he’s like 16.  When a guilt-stricken Brian finally admits that he was only pretending to like her, the tennis instructor says, “You’re a jerk!” and she’s right.  But I guess it doesn’t matter because Brian’s plan works and he and Rachel end up sharing a kiss while watching the 4th of July fireworks.

What type of show airs their 4th of July episode in September?

The country club episodes are so annoying.  If I wanted to watch people work, I could just go hang out at Target for 30 minutes.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.23 “Trained For Trouble”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, there’s an interesting crime spree but nothing is more important than Ponch’s feelings.

Episode 5.23 “Trained For Trouble”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on April 4th, 1982)

Animals have been trained to steal money!  A hawk swoops down and steals a bag of cash from an armored car.  Chimpanzees rob a bank!  It’s madness and the Highway Patrol has its work cut out for them as they attempt to catch whoever has trained these criminal animals.  (The minute that one sees Don Stroud’s name in the guest star list, it’s pretty easy to guess who is responsible.)

That may sound like a cute idea for a show and, to be honest, it is.  However, this episode is somehow less concerned with the animals robbing banks than it is with every woman in Los Angeles mistaking Ponch for a Chippendale’s dancer.  It turns out that one of the male strippers — “Officer Richard” — looks like just like Ponch.  Richard is credited as being played by “Angelo Bernardi.”  Seeing as how Bernardi has no other credits on the imdb other than this episode, I’m not convinced that wasn’t Erik Estrada stripping off his uniform.

Consider this to be your weekly reminder that, during the fifth seasos, CHiPs was….

From what I’ve read, Larry Wilcox left this show after the fifth season specifically because he felt Erik Estrada was getting all of the good storylines and had basically become the producer’s pet.  Watching this episode, you can see why he would be upset.  While Estrada spends the episode being chased by every woman in Los Angeles, Wilcox gets a handful of forgettable lines.

On a positive note, this episode did feature the character actor Dan Hedaya, playing someone who chronically confesses to unsolved crimes.  His character was, at least, a little interesting.  He also got more lines than Larry Wilcox in this episode which, again, perhaps explains why Jon Baker returned to Wyoming after the fifth season.

 

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.7 “Pursuit of a Wanted Felon”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988.  The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the Torello marriage falls apart.

Episode 1.7 “Pursuit of a Wanted Felon”

(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on October 28th, 1986)

Last week, a recently acquitted man named Hector (Ving Rhames) was arrested after murdering his landlord.  Torello, Danny, and David Abrams were all upset.

This week, they’ve all moved on.  Sorry, Ving Rhames, you were only a one-episode guest star.

David is pursuing his relationship with Suzanne Terry (Pam Grier).  At a cocktail party, Detective Walter Clemmons (Paul Butler), the black member of the Crime Squad, approaches Suzanne and warns her that she shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship with “that white boy.”  Seriously, this is the first time that Walter’s gotten any real dialogue since the show began and it’s basically to tell Suzanne not to pursue an interracial relationship.  “We’re only seven years out from integration,” Clemmons says, an awkward piece of dialogue that is meant to remind viewers that this show takes place in 1963.  The show actually deserves some credit for being realistic about how many people would have viewed David and Suzanne’s budding romance in 1963.  I just find it interesting that the show’s only regular black character is the one who is shown objecting while all of the white Chicago cops don’t have a problem with it.  Who knew the Chicago police force was so progressive in the early 60s?

(I really want to like Stephen Lang’s performance as David but something feels off about it.  It’s not a bad performance.  I stand by my earlier praise.  It’s just that David is such a caricature of an early 60s liberal that it is sometimes hard for me to tell if his character is supposed to be satirical or not.  In episodes like this, where David is portrayed as being a cool hipster, Lang can seem a bit stiff and miscast.  He’s much better when he’s giving an emotional speech in court.)

Luca continues to prove himself indispensable to Manny Weisbrod.  In this episode, he blows up a union leader who doesn’t want to take orders from the mob.

Finally, Mike and Julia Torello split up in this episode.  It’s not really a shock.  Mike Torello is extremely intense and obsessed with his job.  He’s tightly wound, to the point where he seems like he might just randomly shoot someone at any given moment.  An attempt to take a relaxing vacation with Julie is a disaster.  (The motel is tacky.  The service is mediocre.  Mike spends the entire time threatening the staff and complaining.)  As soon as Torello returns to Chicago, he hops on a plane for Cleveland in an unsuccessful attempt to capture Frank Holman.  When Torello returns home, he finds that Julie is preparing to go out with another man.

“You are not going to watch my TV,” Torello says, before grabbing the TV and leaving the apartment with it.

Does that scene sounds familiar?  That’s probably because Michael Mann later reused the scene, almost word-for-word, in Heat.  It’s a good scene.  It’s certainly the most memorable moment in this episode.

Otherwise, this episode felt a bit bland.  Torello’s doomed marriage isn’t really that interesting and I actually kind of got annoyed with David and Suzanne going to a cocktail party when they really should have been trying to get Hector out of prison.  I laughed at Torello’s irritation at the hotel and his line about the TV.  Those were the highlights.  The rest of this installment was forgettable.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 2.20 “How Soon Is Now?”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Degrassi goes there.

Episode 2.20 “How Soon Is Now?”

(Dir by Eleanore Lindo, originally aired on February 9th, 2003)

After intensive therapy with the school’s counselor, Ms. Sauve (Jennifer Podemski), Paige convinces herself that she’s emotionally recovered from being raped by Dean.  Paige says she doesn’t need any more therapy and she just wants to get on her with her life.  However, when she discovers that Dean’s school will be coming to Degrassi for a basketball game, she starts to spiral.

Paige’s rape was one of Degrassi’s first “mature” storylines, in that it dealt with a controversial issue and it did so in  a realistic way.  Instead of simply wrapping things up after an episode or two, Degrassi stretched this storyline over several seasons and let it play out with an honesty that is rarely seen on television..  Instead of having Paige magically go back to being who she was before she was raped, Degrassi portrayed how Paige changed as a result of both the rape and her struggle to get justice.  That the show did so realistically is a credit to both Degrassi and Lauren Collins’s portrayal of Paige.

One of the things that makes this episode difficult to watch is that Paige largely suffers alone.  Only a few people know about the rape.  A bitter Spinner still thinks that the encounter between Paige and Dean was consensual.  When Dean does show up at Degrassi, it’s obvious that he feels no guilt about what happened and, soon, he’s even hitting on Manny.  When Paige tries to warn Manny, Manny replies that Dean told her all about how crazy Paige is.  It’s only when Paige tells JT about what happened that someone finally stands up for her.  JT may just be the mascot but he doesn’t hold back when he attacks Dean on the court.  Of course, JT is still JT so it’s not like he really does that much physical damage to Dean but it’s still gratifying to see.  In fact, this is the first episode in which JT actually reveals himself to be something other than just the annoying class clown.

At the end of the episode, Paige tells Ms. Suave that she wants to press charges against Dean.  Ms. Suave warns her that, with the amount of time that has passed, it’s going to be Paige’s word against his.  Paige says she understands.  I always want to applaud at the end of this episode, even though I know how things are going to develop.

As for the B-plot, Marco’s being a jerk.  He and Ellie are working on a class project.  They have to create an ad campaign for a fake cologne.  Marco wants to do a “Bollywood thing.”  Ellie wants to turn Marco into a sex symbol.  Marco gets annoyed because Ellie hasn’t fully accepted that he’s gay and not romantically attracted to her.  Hey, Marco — you’re the one who asked her to pretend to be your girlfriend so that you could stay in the closet so instead of getting mad at her, maybe think about what you’re putting her through!

Seriously, I get that Marco was a ground-breaking character at the time and I respect that, just as with Paige’s storyline, the show attempted to be realistic in its portrayal of Marco slowly finding the confidence to be his true self.  That said, Marco could be really self-righteous.

But no matter.  Even with Marco acting like Marco, this was an important episode.  Degrassi went there.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 5.13 “Have A Conscience”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

Luther Mahoney returns.

Episode 5.13 “Have A Conscience”

(Dir by Uli Edel, originally aired on January 17th, 1997)

Mike Kellerman is back on the job but he’s still angry.  He’s angry that the U.S. Attorney didn’t officially announce that he had been cleared.  He’s angry because he feels that his fellow detectives failed to support him when he was at his lowest.  He’s angry because people like Roger Gaffney continue to assume that he’s guilty.

Given how angry Kellerman is, the last thing he needs to get stuck with another case involving the arrogant and apparently untouchable Luther Mahoney.  However, that is exactly what Kellerman gets when an Asian shopkeeper is gunned down after trying to chase one of Mahoney’s crews off the corner.  Everyone knows that Mahoney is behind the murder but, as always, there’s not enough evidence to take him down.  Witnesses won’t talk.  No one can connect Mahoney directly to the murder.  While the smug Mahoney heads off to a fund raiser, a bitter Kellerman goes to his boat and considers suicide.

Fortunately, Lewis barges onto the boat and keeps Kellerman from shooting himself.  This episode reveals a lot about Homicide’s less heralded pair of detectives.  Kellerman is desperate for his father’s approval and he has a huge chip on his shoulder.  Just the fact that anyone would even consider the idea that Kellerman would ever take a bribe is enough to set Kellerman off and Kellerman does not easily forgivce.  Lewis, meanwhile, is still haunted by the death Crosetti.

The majority of this episode is just Lewis talking to Kellerman and Kellerman talking to Lewis.  It’s not the most exciting episode of Homicide but it is wonderfully acted by both Clark Johnson and Reed Diamond.  While Pembleton and Bayliss appear to be growing apart (with Bayliss spending most of this episode politely ignoring Pembleton while Pembleton solved one of his cold cases), Lewis and Kellerman are now even closer than they were before.

That’s a good thing.  Luther Mahoney is still out there and, for whatever reason, Lewis and Kellerman seem to be the two detectives who always end up investigating Mahoney’s crimes.  That’s a little hard to believe.  With the number of people that Mahoney kills and the size of the Homicide division, you would think at least one Mahoney-directed murder would be investigated by either Munch or Pembleton.  Regardless, Luther Mahoney is a great villain and I look forward to seeing where Kellerman’s obsession with taking him down is heading.

Finally, I hope this Pembleton/Bayliss estrangement won’t go on for too long.  We just got Pembleton back and Pembleton was finally starting to accept that he could actually handle working with a partner.  I get that Bayliss is upset but breaking up Pembleton and Bayliss just doesn’t feel right.  They’re just meant to work together.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.6 “Blind Dates”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Mr. Belding is desperately trying to find someone to date his niece. Meanwhile, Zack is trying to avoid being suspended….

Episode 2.6 “Blind Dates”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 13th, 1990)

Mr. Belding needs someone to go on a blind date with his niece Penny but every guy at the school screams in horror at the idea. However, Zack has just received his tenth detention and is facing the prospect of being suspended for a week. Belding makes Zack an offer that he can’t refuse. If Zack goes on a date with Penny, he won’t be suspended. This sounds like the type of thing that could get Belding fired but instead, Zack agrees to go on the date….

Except Zack already has plans for that night! Kelly is having her birthday party at the Max!

Zack’s solution? Put a blonde wig on Screech and have him take Penny on the date.

I notice that Zack’s solutions always seem to involve Screech pretending to be someone other than Screech. Penny (Jodi Peterson) turns out to be a totally normal girl and she has a great time with Screech when they go to …. Kelly’s birthday party! Of course, Penny thinks Screech is Zack and that Zack is Screech and just writing all of this is making my head hurt. When Kelly finds out that Penny is planning on going home with “Zack,” Kelly calls her “an un-nice person,” which is a pretty neat turn of phrase. But then Kelly learns the truth and, to Slater’s chagrin, Kelly falls even more in love with Zack.

Meanwhile, Jessie freaks out because her blind date, Brett (Timothy Williams), is several inches shorter than her. I have to say that Jessie’s recurring insecurity about being tall was one of the few things that Saved By The Bell consistently handled well. (It certainly handled it better than her later caffeine pill addiction.) Brett was adorable and it was kind of sweet that he eventually won Jessie over just by being a really cool guy.

Jessie’s storyline aside, this is the type of Saved By The Bell episode that drives me crazy. Most of the conflict — actually, all of the conflict — could have been avoided by everyone just not being an idiot. It’s hard to believe that Zack couldn’t come up with a solution to his problems that didn’t involve putting a blonde wig on Screech. I get that Belding was desperate to find a date for Penny but the idea that he would turn to Zack, even under the most extreme of circumstances, seemed like a reach.

Probably the funniest moment in this episode was when Zack learned he had received his tenth detention and everyone in the studio audience groaned. Don’t worry, folks. Zack will be okay!