Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the ship is a casino!

Episode 7.16 “The Buck Stops Here/For Better or Worse/Bet on It”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on January 14th, 1984)

It’s a gambling cruise!

Of course, it’s all for charity.  The Love Boat has been turned into a floating casino but all of the money that the passengers lose will be donated to the Flanders Hospital.  Florence Flanders (Celeste Holm) is yet another old friend’s Captain Stubing’s and he’s happy to welcome her aboard.  He is less happy to see Florence’s ne’er-do-well brother, Frank (Richard Jaeckel).  Frank is in debt to another passenger, Al Dixon (Richard Ponzini).  Frank is willing to cheat and steal to get the money to pay off Al.  When Stubing calls Frank out on it, Frank threatens to reveal that Florence’s deceased husband had a mistress.

One of the people cheated by Frank is newlywed Nancy Sidon (Leah Ayres), who is upset about the prospect of having to move in with her in-laws.  Her husband, Stewart (Shea Farrell), says that it’s perfectly normal to move back in with your parents after you get married.  He also doesn’t want Nancy gambling.  When Nancy loses all of her money, she fears that she’s going to lose Stewart as well.  Fortunately, Frank has a change of heart and returns all of the money that he stole.  Not only has Nancy avoided divorce but she now has enough that she and Stewart won’t have to move in with the in-laws.

Meanwhile, Michael Borden (McClean Stevenson) is carrying a very valuable silver dollar with him.  When Sally (Jo Ann Pflug) accidentally puts the silver dollar in a slot machine, Michael has a near breakdown.  He obsessively pulls on the lever, hoping to win back his silver dollar.  Soon, he’s broke.  However, Sally puts her final dollar in the slot machine, pulls the lever, and hit the jackpot.  Michael wins back his silver dollar and he also finds love.  To be honest, Sally could do better.

This was a rather low-key and almost moody episode.  The laugh track was notably muted.  On the one hand, the show celebrated gambling for charity.  On the other hand, nearly everyone’s life was ruined in the casino.  Richard Jaeckel gave a good performance as the conflicted Frank.  Not giving a good performance was McClean Stevenson, who came across as being so cranky and whiny that I found myself hoping he would never win back his silver dollar.

This cruise did not hit the jackpot for me.