Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 5.5 “Silicon Valley of the Dolls”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Who cares?

Episode 5.5 “Silicon Valley of the Dolls”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on August 15th, 1999)

In order to finance plastic surgery for their girlfriends, teenage boys are stealing cars and burglarizing homes.  Plastic surgeon Barry Brockwood (Scott Bryce) has built a successful practice by performing surgery on teenagers but, when one of them dies during the procedure, he dumps her body on the beach and tries to make it appear as if she fell victim to a serial killer.  Granger and Monica go undercover — *sigh* this again! — as high school students while Cory goes undercover as the new sex education teacher.

I’m glad I’m on the final season of this show because I’m running out of ways to say that it sucks.  For what seems like the hundredth time, I will point out that these people are supposed to be BICYCLE COPS!  Why are they constantly going undercover?  Add to that, Granger and Monica have gone undercover as teenagers so many times that you would expect that every juvenile criminal in California would recognize them by now.  This episode ends with the cops arresting the plastic surgeon and then joking about how he’s going to get raped in prison.

On the plus side, Scott Bryce was always an entertainingly unhinged villain.  He gave it his all in this episode and the show really didn’t deserve it,

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 5.6 “White Lies”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, Detective Much meets Dr. Cox.

Episode 5.6 “White Lies”

(Dir by Peter Weller, originally aired on November 8th, 1996)

When a suburban housewife is reportedly found dead in bed, Detective Munch suspects that she was murdered by her husband, Phillip Engle (Scott Bryce, of As The World Turns fame).  Munch points out that the dead woman was wearing makeup, that Engle’s story is full of holes, and that it doesn’t make sense that a healthy woman’s heart would just stop in the middle of the night.  However, Dr. Cox is not convinced that the woman was murdered and, as she puts it, it’s not a murder until the M.E. says it is.  Munch finds himself investigating a crime that may or may not have been committed.  Ultimately, it turns out that the woman died of a heroin overdose.  Philip Engle was not trying to cover up a murder when he redressed his wife and moved her from the bathroom floor to her bed.  Instead, he was trying to preserve his wife’s dignity.

The story was a sad one and Scott Bryce did a great job as Phillip Engle.  For that matter, Richard Belzer gave one of his better performances as Munch.  This episode made you both respect Munch’s tenacity as a detective while also making you hate him for putting Phillip through so much pain.  That said, it was hard not to feel that this episode was a continuation of last week’s introduction of Dr. Cox.  The show seems to be really determined to make us love Dr. Cox.  I mean, we get it, Homicide.  She’s a badass.  You don’t have to keep hitting us over the head with it.

Meanwhile, Frank is still offering advice to Bayliss on how to be a homicide detective, even though Frank’s not allowed to go to crime scenes or conduct interrogations.  Bayliss’s latest case involves a suspect with a long history of stealing cars.  Frank watches as Bayliss screws up an interrogation, getting so lost in talking about how much he would like to steal a car and cruise down to California that the suspect replies, “I want a lawyer.”  Bayliss responds to Pembleton’s criticism by telling Pembleton to go into the Box and get the confession himself.  Bayliss seems to be sincere.  He truly wants Pembleton back in the Box.  Pembleton fantasies about storming into the Box like the Pembleton of old but he can’t do it.  He can’t break regulations.  He can’t risk another stroke.  As for the murder suspect, he goes free.

Lewis kicks Brodie out of his house.  Kay offers to let Brodie stay with her but Brodie ultimately declines the offer because he doesn’t want people gossiping about Kay.  Brodie says that he’s just going to sleep in the station.  Good luck with that, Brodie!  Seriously, do they even pay Brodie?  Why is he always one step away from living on the streets?

Kellerman take a polygraph concerning the accusations that he took a bribe from the Rolands.  Kellerman answers, “No,” when asked if he ever took a bribe but he ends the exam when he’s asked whether or not he knows of any other cops who were on Mitch Roland’s payroll.  Kellerman is told that he passed the polygraph.  But, so did Mitch Roland and “he answered all the questions.”

This was an okay episode, with the scenes between Bayliss and Pembleton being the highlight.  The stuff with the Rolands and the bribery accusations isn’t doing much for me.  This feels like a storyline that should have been resolved already.  That said, I do like it when Kellerman gets annoyed.  This episode ended with him hitting a punching bad and looking good while he did it.

Don’t let the bastards get you down, Kellerman!