Insomnia File No. 14: Promise (dir by Glenn Jordan)

Posted on May 24, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you were awake at midnight last night and if you were watching TCM, you would have seen a 1986 film called Promise.

Promise stars James Garner as Bob Beuhler, who is one of those deceptively confident men who seems to have his entire life together. He’s made a nice little life for himself, buying and selling houses and he lives in a small town where everyone appears to know and respect him. If Promise were made today, Bob is the type of person who could probably have his own A&E reality show.

But then Bob’s mother dies and we learn of a promise that Bob made forty years ago. It turns out that Bob has a younger brother, named D.J. (James Woods). D.J. suffers from schizophrenia and he’s spent all of his life living with his mother. It quickly becomes apparent that the main driving force behind Bob’s success has been the need to prove that he’s nothing like D.J. When he doesn’t take his medication, D.J. is unpredictable and suffers from violent mood swings. Bob loves his brother but he’s also scared of him.

However, Bob made a promise and he’s going to try to honor it.

It turns out to be even more difficult than he expected. Sometimes, D.J. is calm and sweetly shy. Other times, he becomes violent. The rest of the town starts to gossip about Bob’s “crazy” brother. After one fight, Bob discovers that D.J. has become catatonic. When Bob calls an ambulance, everyone in the neighborhood lines up on Bob’s lawn to watch as D.J. is taken away.

Even though D.J. is eventually released from the hospital and returns home, Bob still is unsure of whether or not he can properly care for his brother. When they go on a trip to a cabin that they often visited as children, Bob is surprised to see how “normal” D.J. is acting. But how long will it last?

When I looked up Promise on the imdb, I was not surprised to discover that it was originally made for television. The fact that nobody in the film ever curses was a dead giveaway and the script occasionally threatens to turn into a PSA. But, with all that in mind, Promise is still a wonderfully effective and rather heartbreaking little movie. James Woods has the more showy role and does a great job with it’s the far more low-key James Garner who keeps the film grounded. Watching a film like Promise, you see that Garner was really a great actor.

Promise is a sad film but it’s definitely one worth watching.

Previous Insomnia Files:

What Lisa Watched Last Night #151: Marriage of Lies (dir by Danny J. Boyle)

Posted on May 22, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, after I got home from my aborted attempt to celebrate Memorial Day a week early (read the previous post for details), I watched the latest Lifetime premiere, Marriage of Lies!

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, the obvious answer is that not only was it on Lifetime but it also had one of the most stereotypically Lifetime titles ever.

Marriage of Lies!

It just screams Lifetime melodrama, doesn’t it?

There I was, still feeling embarrassed over getting the date of Memorial Day wrong, and what do I see listed in guide? Marriage of Lies! As soon as I saw that title, I knew everything was going to be okay.

What Was It About?

Call it Gone Guy.

One morning, Rachel Wilson (April Browlby) wakes up to discover that her husband, popular teacher Tye Wilson (Brody Hutzler), is gone. Because their marriage is already troubled because of a past infidelity on Tye’s part, Rachel thinks that Tye has just temporarily gone off on his own. She doesn’t report him missing for two days and, after she does, she suddenly finds that she’s the number one suspect.

Everyone thinks that Rachel murdered her missing husband, including a world-weary detective named Gus (played by Corin Nemec). At first, it seems like Rachel’s only ally is her best friend (Virginia Williams) but soon, Rachel starts to doubt even her.

With reporters camping out in her front yard and the entire world convinced of her guilt, Rachel starts to wonder if Tye’s actually been abducted and/or murdered or if maybe there’s something even stranger going on…

What Worked?

Marriage of Lies was fairly well-done. The actors all did a good job. Among those of us who were live-tweeting the film on twitter, Detective Roper (played by Zachary Garred) quickly emerged as our favorite character. Roper was Gus’s partner. Whereas Gus was cynical and beaten-down by life, Roper seemed to actually be having fun with his job. Of course, he was also pretty quick to assume that Rachel was guilty but that was just Roper being Roper!

The ending, with its suggestion that the truth means nothing and that sensation-seeking observers have no real interest in reality, was properly cynical and nicely done.

What Did Not Work?

The movie played a bit too slowly and the pacing definitely felt a bit off. (Of course, it’s difficult to judge these things when the action has to stop every 17 minutes or so for a commercial break.)

After all of the build up, I was hoping that the eventual solution to Tye’s disappearance would turn out to be totally fucked up and weird but instead, it pretty much played out the way that I predicted it would after the first five minutes of the film.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I have to admit that I related to the character of Kinna (Madison Iseman), who was one of Mr. Wilson’s students and who had a huge crush on him. I felt that way about some of my teachers when I was in high school. Also, much like Kinna, I would probably be totally useless as a member of a search party.

Lessons Learned

It’s easier to vanish than you might think.

Film Review: Money Monster (dir by Jodie Foster)

Posted on May 15, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In a perfect world, the new film Money Monster would feature a monster that was literally made out of money. Its name would be Monblar and it would shamble down Wall Street and breathe coins made of fire.

Or, if not featuring a literal Money Monster, the film would at least open with the angry spirit of Andrew Jackson springing out of a twenty and seeking vengeance over being replaced by Harriet Tubman. In order to defeat the bitter old president, it would be necessary to summon the spirits of both Tubman and currency hottie Alexander Hamilton. Seriously, that would be a great movie!

Unfortunately, Money Monster is just another boring recession thriller. I’ve lost track of how many bad movies have been released since 2008, all featuring saintly blue collar workers who are forced to resort to extreme measures as a result of losing all of their money due to corporate greed. While they seek revenge by either pulling off a tower heist or an assault on wall street, villainous CEOs sit in their offices, smoke cigars, and laugh at the evil of it all. In between the inevitable gunshots and the collapsing families and the evictions, there’s always time for a didactic speech or two. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not fan of Wall Street but I’m also not a fan of preachy movies.

George Clooney plays Lee Gates, who has a show called Money Monster where he tells people where they should invest their money. Lee is charming. Lee is glib. Lee’s show features backup dancers, clips from old movies, and a rap theme song that is just so 2002. At the start of the show, Lee even dances as Money Monster tries to convince us that Lee’s a hyperactive showman despite the fact that he’s being played one of the most laid back actors of all time. Lee is totally unaware and/or unconcerned about the people who have occasionally lost their life savings due to his advice.

One of those people is a deliveryman named Kyle Budwell (Jack O’Connell) and we know he’s a good, honest guy because his name is Kyle Budwell as opposed to Kyle Evilguy. Kyle follows Lee’s advice to invest his family’s savings in IBIS Global Capital. (At first, I thought that the company was called ISIS Global Capital and I was like, “Hey, you betray your country, you pay the consequences…”) One week later, the IBIS stock crashes, Kyle is suddenly dead broke, The Big Short only manages to win one Oscar, and Hillary Clinton defeats Bernie Sanders in the New York primary. What other choice does Kyle have other than to go on Lee’s show, force Lee to wear a bomb vest, and demand answers!

Yawn.

There’s not a single surprising moment in Money Monster. I was going to say that you immediately know that IBIS’s CEO is evil because he’s played by Dominic West but actually, you know he’s evil because he’s a CEO and he’s appearing in a movie called Money Monster. Meanwhile, you know that Kyle isn’t really a bad guy because he looks like likable, clean-cut, and handsome Jack O’Connell. If Money Monster had any guts, it would have cast some fat 60 year-old slob with bad teeth in the role of Kyle Budwell. Money Monster ends with a twist that you’ll guess within the first few minutes of film. It’s an annoying twist, if just because it seems to assume that the audiences can’t handle moral ambiguity.

(Then again, there’s really no reason to assume that audiences can handle moral ambiguity so maybe Money Monster has a point…)

I suppose I should mention that Julia Roberts is also in the movie but there’s really no reason for her to be there. She plays Lee’s producer, Patty, and there’s nothing about the role that demands it be played by a star. There is a subplot about how, up until the Kyle takes Lee hostage, Patty had been planning on quitting her job but … well, who cares? Whenever Patty and Lee talked, I found myself cringing and thinking, “Do we really have to sit through this conversation?”

(In all fairness to Money Monster, that’s actually my reaction to most conversations…)

Money Monster was directed by Jodie Foster. It’s funny how we always assume that just because someone is a good actor that they’ll also be a good director. For instance, Angelina Jolie has directed three mediocre films and yet, with the announcement of each new Jolie-directed movie, we still continue to assume that she’s eventually going to win an Oscar for her work behind the camera. (Remember when Unbroken and By The Sea were being touted as guaranteed Oscar nominees?) George Clooney has directed five films and none of them are really that good. (Confessions of a Dangerous Mind only works because of Sam Rockwell’s performance. Goodnight and Good Luck is overrated. Leatherheads is boring. The Ides of March is tedious and The Monuments Men is one of the worst movies that I’ve ever seen.) Money Monster is Foster’s fourth film as a director and it’s almost as much of a tonal mess as The Beaver. Then again, The Beaver was at least weird. Money Monster was just boring. Foster is an incredibly compelling actress and an incredibly blah director.

That said, you would think that Foster would at least be able to get good performances out of the cast. As good as they often are, both George Clooney and Julia Roberts have actorly tics that they tend to fall back on whenever they’re working in the absence of a strong directorial vision and let’s just say that this is a very tic-filled film. Meanwhile, poor Jack O’Connell is running the risk of turning into Taylor Kitsch.

Amazingly enough, Money Monster was this week’s “big” release. Personally, I would recommend seeing Captain America: Civil War for a second or third time. Now that was a good movie!

What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched The Other Night #150: A Mother’s Revenge (dir by Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on May 10, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Saturday night, my friends the Snarkalecs and I turned over to the Lifetime Movie Network and we watched the premiere of the latest Fred Olen Ray thriller, A Mother’s Revenge!

Why Were We Watching It?

Well, the obvious answer is that the film was on the Lifetime Movie Network and it was directed by Fred Olen Ray! However, I have to admit that I nearly missed A Mother’s Revenge. Because it was the night before Mother’s Day, Lifetime was planning on broadcasting a film about a basketball player and his mom. I was definitely not looking forward to watching that but then my friend Trevor informed me that, on the Lifetime Movie Network, A Mother’s Revenge would be airing at the exact same time! YAY!

I then went on twitter and I discovered that not only was A Mother’s Revenge the latest film from Fred Olen Ray but that it also involved Gerald Webb, the producer and star of A House Is Not A Home and the favorite actor of snarkalecs everywhere! Once I discovered that all of my fellow snarkalecs would be taking part in the live tweet, there was no way that I wasn’t going to join them!

What Was It About?

It was about a mother and how she got revenge!

(That’s the one line version.)

More specifically, it’s the story of Jennifer (Jamie Luner), a pill-popping, recovering alcoholic who travels to Buffalo so that she can watch her daughter, Katey (Aubrey Whitby), graduate from college. From the minute that Jennifer arrives, things refuse to work out the way that she wants.

First off, Katey wants to spend some time with her friends as opposed to hanging out with her mother.

Secondly, Jennifer’s ex-husband (Jason-Shane Scott) has also shown up for the graduation and tension, both sexual and otherwise, is everywhere.

Third, Jennifer accidentally grabbed the wrong bag at the airport. Supercreepy Conner (Steven Brand) wants his bag back and he’s willing to both commit murder and kidnap Jennfer’s daughter to accomplish his goals.

And finally, Buffalo’s best detectives (played by Gerald Webb and Richard Lounello) suspect that Jennifer may be mentally unstable. Once a dead body shows up, Jennifer automatically becomes their main suspect.

All in all, Jennifer has quite a bit to be upset about…

What Worked?

I liked A Mother’s Revenge. Fred Olen Ray kept the action moving at a steady pace and I appreciated the way the film emphasized how one totally random mistake (like grabbing the wrong bag at the airport) can change someone’s life forever. It nicely conformed into my own point-of-view, which is that the universe is basically as chaotic and unpredictable as a Werner Herzog documentary.

Jamie Luner appears in a lot of these movies and she knows how to balance melodrama and pathos. She and Aubrey Whitby were totally believable as mother and daughter. Also believable was Steven Brand, who was properly creepy as the sadistic Conner.

A Mother’s Revenge was shot on location in Buffalo and it must be said that the city looked really good. The Mayor of Buffalo, Byron Brown, made a cameo appearance and who can blame him? A Mother’s Revenge made me want to visit his town.

Another great thing about A Mother’s Revenge is that a lot of the film’s crew and cast joined in with the live tweet and they were all very gracious, informative, and handled the occasional snarkiness with class and good humor. What I especially enjoyed was seeing some of the tweets from the various citizens of Buffalo who had been involved with the production. It was one of the most positive live tweets that I’ve ever taken part in and it generated the type of good vibes that you normally don’t associate with film twitter.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked!

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I’ve actually grabbed the worng bag before. I did not get blackmailed as a result but maybe I was just lucky. (However, I did get a week’s worth of new clothes, none of which really worked for me. I was sad. Hopefully, the Goodwill appreciated my donation.)

Lessons Learned

Be careful about grabbing the wrong bag. And, if you do grab the one bag, don’t let anyone find out.

Lisa Marie’s Thoughts On Captain America: Civil War

Posted on May 10, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It was freaking awesome!

That, in a nutshell, is my main thought when it comes to Captain America: Civil War. It’s a movie that we spent a year anticipating. It’s a movie that we were continually assured would be great. And it’s a movie that, unlike Batman v Superman, actually lived up to all the hype. It’s also a movie that has already been reviewed here on the Shattered Lens. Check out Arleigh’s review by clicking here and be sure to check out Gary’s review as well.

So, what’s really left for me to say about Captain America: Civil War? Beyond, of course, that it was freaking awesome.

Of course, it’s hard to talk about Captain America: Civil War without also talking about Batman v Superman. Both films start with the same basic idea: the heroic activities of super heroes has led to cities being destroyed and innocent people dying. In Batman v. Superman, Batman takes it open himself to avenge the destruction of Metropolis and expose Superman as being the biggest false God since Baal. In Civil War, the United Nations announces that, from now on, all super hero activity has to be cleared with them. In Batman v. Superman, Batman and Superman are manipulated into fighting each other. In Captain America: Civil War, Captain America and Iron Man are manipulated into fighting each other. In Batman v Superman, Jesse Eisenberg plays a neurotic villain. In Captain America: Civil War, Daniel Bruhl plays a neurotic villain. Batman v Superman features more heroes than just Batman and Superman. Civil War features more heroes than just Captain America and Iron Man. Batman v Superman ends with a promise of more films to come. So does Civil War. Both films are huge and expensive star-filled spectacles and both of them are a part of a larger cinematic mythology. They both even have roughly the same running time. Of course, Batman v Superman seems even longer while Civil War is over far too quickly.

And yet, Civil War is a thousand times better than Batman v Superman. For all of its sound and fury, Batman v Superman is ultimately an empty shell. I left the film feeling not at all emotionally moved but definitely deafened by all the explosions and the yelling and the ranting and the pounding score. As I left the theater, the world sounded like it was underwater. Batman v Superman opens with the world exploding and the explosion continues for another two and a half hours. Civil War, on the other hand, takes its time. After the initial battle scene (which features a nice cameo from the great Frank Grillo), Civil War slows down. It explores its characters and their relationships and their motivations. The first hour of Civil War may be dominated by people debating but its compelling to watch because, after 8 years, the MCU and the characters within feel as alive as the world outside the theater.

In Batman v Superman, Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck appeared to be acting in separate films. That’s not a problem in Civil War. When you watch Chris Evans and Robert Downey, Jr., you believe that they are friends and, when they fight, you don’t just thrill at the action. You mourn the end of a friendship. If Batman v Superman‘s battle ultimately felt hollow, the final battle in Civil War leaves you wincing in pain.

Which is not to say that Civil War is not a fun movie. It’s the most genuinely fun film that I’ve seen so far this year. There’s a joy to the best films of the MCU, a joy that — with the exception of Gal Gadot’s cameo — was totally lacking from the somber and self-important mess that Batman v Superman. I have never heard an audience applaud more than they did while watching Civil War. The film may have been dominated by Evans and Downey but every citi of thzene MCU got a chance to shine. Scarlett Johansson, Paul Rudd, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, and Elizabeth Olsen all proved their worth to this new cinematic mythology. After years of using Halloween to pay homage to Scarlett Johansson, I may have to go as Wanda Maximoff this year. After seeing Hollywood waste her off-center and damaged talent in films like Godzilla, it was good to see Elizabeth Olsen playing Wanda as if she could have been a cousin to her character from Martha Marcy Mae Marlene.

The audience saved their loudest and most enthusiastic cheers for Tom Holland, who claimed the role of Spiderman as his own and thankfully freed Andrew Garfield to go back to being the intriguing actor that we all remember from The Social Network and Never Let Me Go. Holland doesn’t have a large role in Civil War but he’s still well-served by the film and the script makes great use of the character and Holland’s energetic performance. As opposed to the super hero cameos in Batman v Superman, Spiderman’s appearance didn’t just feel like merely a teaser for a future film. He belonged in the story.

Of course, Civil War is dominated by the battle between Iron Man and Captain America and it says something about how successful the MCU has been that the battle feels less like a marketing gimmick and more like the natural result of what happens when two differing worldviews come into conflict. When Tony Stark sides with the UN, it makes sense. Ever since the very first Iron Man, Tony has been motivated by both guilt over making weapons and a fear that he doesn’t deserve his success. Of course Tony would side with the UN. Doing so not only allows him to alleviate his guilt but it also frees him of responsibility for any future actions that the Avengers may take. It makes just as much sense that Captain America would feel the exact opposite. His name is Captain America, not Captain United Nations. When the UN was founded, he was still frozen in a block of ice.

(Also interesting to note: Civil War was the first MCU film that I could follow without once having to ask my boyfriend for any background info on who all the characters were. The MCU has become such a part of our culture that we all know the characters, regardless of whether we have ever read a Marvel comic or not.)

There is a nominal villain. Daniel Bruhl plays Zemo and his role is actually pretty small. That said, Zemo is definitely more interesting than the typical MCU villain (he’s certainly more memorable than Corey Stoll was in Ant-Man) and Bruhl does a good job playing him. (Watching Civil War, it was hard not to think about how much better SPECTRE would have been if Bruhl, as opposed to Christoph Waltz, had played Blofeld.) But, for me, the real villain of the film was the U.S. Secretary of State (played by William Hurt). The character represented everything that all good people hate about the power structure. William Hurt turned him into the epitome of unthinking and unreasonable authority.

After Civil War was released, Salon’s Amanda Marcotte (who, let’s just be honest, ceased to be interesting the minute that she sold out and briefly worked for John Edwards in 2007) complained that Captain America had become “a douchey Libertarian.” I would argue that 1) Captain America is definitely not douchey and 2) it’s his “libertarian” stance that makes him a hero. Captain America does not represent any institution or ideology and he doesn’t take orders from faceless bureaucrats. Captain America doesn’t need permission to do the right thing. As played by Chris Evans, there’s something undeniably poignant about Captain America attempting to cling onto his idealism and his belief in personal freedom in an increasingly complicated and totalitarian world. When told that he has a duty to become an anonymous, order-taking drone, Captain America says, “NO!”

(As a sidenote: If you want to see what the world expects Captain America to become, check out William Klein‘s Mr. Freedom.)

I know that some are claiming that Civil War is the best MCU film so far. I wouldn’t quite go that far. The film never quite reaches the lunatic heights of Guardians of the Galaxy nor does it match the subversive glee of Winter Soldier revealing that smug old Robert Redford is an agent of HYDRA. But, no matter! Captain America: Civil War is pretty freaking great!

Here are the other MCU reviews that have appeared here on the Shattered Lens:

What Lisa and Erin Watched Last Night #149: Pretty Little Addict (dir by Monika Mitchell)

Posted on May 2, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, the Dazzling Erin and I watched the latest Lifetime film premiere, Petty Little Addict!

Why Were We Watching It?

Yesterday was all about sisterly bonding time! Erin and I basically told the rest of the world to get lost and then we spent the entire day hanging out together, talking about life, pondering the great questions of the universe, and laughing. In fact, we probably spent more time laughing than pondering the great questions of the universe. We also chased a chicken out of our backyard! (He belongs to one of our neighbors.)

And really, what better way is there to bond than by watching a Lifetime movie!? When my friend Trevor informed me that Pretty Little Addict would be premiering last night, I knew that there was no way that Erin and I were going to miss it!

What Was It About?

It’s about a pretty little addict!

Her name is Jennifer (Andrea Bowen) and she has just lost her father to cancer. To deal with her sorrow, she drinks. Meanwhile, across town, Colin Brown (Keenan Tracy) is excited because he’s received a scholarship to run track in college. Colin’s entire future is pretty much set and it all looks great, assuming that he never loses the ability to walk.

As fate would have it, Jennifer and Colin end up at the same party. And, when a drunk Jennifer attempts to leave the party, she accidentally runs over Colin. Colin is crippled and Jennifer is ordered to check into rehab.

While Jennifer is trying to get sober, Colin’s brother, Alex (Scott Lyster), is looking for revenge. Alex is mentally unstable and has a drinking problem of his own. He also has a long and violent criminal record. When he discovers that Jennifer is in rehab, he gets a job working for the vending machine company that just happens to service the machines inside the rehab facility. Soon, Alex is flirting with Jennifer while also trying to manipulate her into giving up her new found sobriety.

Meanwhile, Colin’s family is making plans to sue Jennifer’s mother…

What Worked?

One thing that you can definitely say about Pretty Little Addict is that it had its heart in the right place. It sincerely did attempt to use its melodramatic storyline to say something meaningful about addiction and the struggle of recovery. Both Scott Lyster and Keenan Tracy gave good performances and I also liked Morgan Taylor Campbell in the role of Jennifer’s paranoid roommate.

What Did Not Work?

Good intentions aside, this is one of those films that just never really seemed to come together. It felt uneven and strangely paced and, even by the standards of Lifetime, the plot was full of obvious and glaring holes. Alex’s plan seemed unnecessarily complicated. Considering that he was an alcoholic, he could have just as easily checked himself into rehab and then he would have had much easier access to Jennifer than he did as a fake deliveryman. It would have been a lot less trouble for him as well.

From the start of the movie to the end, Jennifer was a fairly unlikable character. Even after she got sober, she never really seemed to understand just how much damage she had done.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I rarely drink so there was a definite shortage of “Oh my God! Just like me!” moments. However, I did cringe a little when the rehab patients had to engage in a trust exercise that deal with being blindfolded. That’s because, in high school, I took part in a similar trust exercise. My friend Jennifer was blindfolded and I was supposed to catch her when she fell backwards. However, I’ve only got a three-minute attention span so, by the time she actually started to fall back, I was no longer paying attention and I kind of forgot to catch her. Whoops!

Lessons Learned

Don’t drink and drive, which is actually a pretty good lesson.

The Fabulous Forties #26: The Way Ahead (dir by Carol Reed)

Posted on May 1, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 26th film in Mill Creek’s Fabulous Forties box set was the 1944 British film, The Way Ahead (or, as it was retitled when it was released in America, The Immortal Battalion).

Directed by Carol Reed (who was five years away from directing the great The Third Man), The Way Ahead is a British propaganda film that was made to boost the morale of both a weary British public and the army during the final days of World War II. Usually, when we call something propaganda, it’s meant as a term of disparagement but The Way Ahead is propaganda in the best possible way.

The film follows a group of British soldiers, from the moment that they are conscripted through their training to their first battle. (In many ways, it’s like a more refined — which is another way of saying “more British” — version of Gung Ho!) As usually happens in films like this, the newly conscripted soldiers come from all sections of society. Some of them are poor. Some of them are rich. Some of them are married. Some of them are single. In fact, when the film first begins, the only thing that they all have in common is that they don’t want to be in the army.

As they begin their training, they resent their tough sergeant, Fletcher (William Hartnell), and are upset that Lt. Jim Perry (David Niven, giving a very likable performance) always seems to take Fletcher’s side in any dispute. However, as time passes by, the soldiers start to realize that Fletcher is looking out for them and molding them into a cohesive unit. Under his training, they go from being a group of disorganized and somewhat resentful individuals to being a tough and well-organized battalion.

Though they’re originally skeptical that they’ll ever see combat, the battalion is eventually sent to North Africa. However, their ship is torpedoed and, in a scene that remains genuinely impressive even when viewed today, the men are forced to abandon ship while explosions and flames light up the night sky. By the time that they do finally reach North Africa, they are more than ready to fight…

The Way Ahead plays out in a semi-documentary fashion (it even features a narrator who, at the end of the film, exhorts the audience to stay firm in their commitment) and it’s a fairly predictable film. If you’ve ever seen a war film, you’ll probably be able to predict everything that happens in The Way Ahead. That said, The Way Ahead is a remarkable well-made and well-acted film. The cast is well-selected (and features a lot of familiar British characters actors, some making their film debut) and David Niven is the perfect choice for the mild-mannered but firm Lt. Perry. Even though I’m not a huge fan of war films in general, I was still impressed with The Way Ahead.

And you can watch it below!

What Lisa Watched Last Night #148: Seduced (dir by Jessica Janos)

Posted on May 1, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime film premiere, Seduced!

Why Was I Watching It?

Because it was on Lifetime, of course! Every Saturday night, I either watch or DVR the new movie on Lifetime. I absolutely and unconditionally love these movies and I don’t care who knows it. Plus, the title of the movie was Seduced and, as we all know, the best Lifetime movies often feature the word “seduce” in the title (i.e., Lethal Seduction, The Babysitter’s Seduction, etc).

What Was It About?

Someone is murdering redheads in California! (Speaking as a redhead, allow me to just say, “Agck!” in regards to that.)

Meanwhile, via a missed connections app, Caroline (Elisabeth Rohm), a redhead who lives in California, meets the mysterious and charming Gavin (Jon Prescott). Caroline is still haunted by the loss of her husband and spends most of her time trying to take care of her teenage daughter (Jessica Amlee) while keeping the company she works for — a place called Funderstorm — from going out of business. However, Gavin takes her away from all that, introducing her to a world of sensual and erotic delight.

(You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for the chance to use “a world of sensual and erotic delight” in a review.)

Gavin seems to be perfect. He’s handsome, he has a sexy accent, he lives in a nice house, he cooks, and he reads books! However, since there is Lifetime, there are a few warning signs that Gavin may not be as great as he seems. For one thing, despite living in an absolutely fabulous house, he always seems to need money. For another, Caroline becomes so enraptured by him that she starts to neglect both work and her daughter. And then there’s the mysterious Margo (Julie Mond), who appears to be involved with Gavin in some way as well.

And, of course, there’s those news reports about the murdered redheads….

What Worked?

I really enjoyed this one. This movie featured everything that we love about Lifetime movies — melodrama, sex, several nice houses, clothes to die for, and even a little bit of empowerment at the end. The entire film was well-cast with Elisabeth Rohm doing a great job as Caroline and Jon Prescott epitomizing dangerous charm as Gavin. And, of course, I also have to praise Julie Mond, who didn’t appear in many scenes but definitely made an impression.

I also really liked the relationship between Caroline and her daughter. Rohm and Jessica Amlee were totally believable as mother and daughter and every detail of their relationship rang true.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. If you’re into Lifetime movies, this film is for you. If you’re not into Lifetime movies — well, then you probably stopped reading this review a few paragraphs back. And that’s okay, I still love you! Lifetime films are not for everyone but if you enjoy them, you should enjoy Seduced.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Oh my God, so many of the characters had red hair just like me! It’s just too bad that so many of them ended up getting killed.

Lessons Learned

Some connections are best missed.

Film Review: Keanu (dir by Peter Atencio)

Posted on April 29, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“KEANU!”

Meow!

“ARE YOU OKAY, KEANU!?”

Meow!

Greetings, fellow lovers of movies and cats! So, Jeff and I just saw the new comedy, Keanu. It’s the first film to star the quickly-becoming legendary comedy team of Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele and it’s full of the type of humor that made their Comedy Central show, Key & Peele, such a success. Perhaps even more importantly, the film stars an amazingly adorable little kitten!

You’ve seen the trailer, right? You know how, when Peele first holds up his new kitten, Key immediately starts laughing and says, “Oh my God, that’s the cutest cat I’ve ever seen in my life!?” Well, he’s not lying. While I don’t think any cat is cuter than that one that I live with, Keanu the Kitten is definitely the cutest cat that I’ve ever seen in a movie.

Add to that, this kitten can act! When this kitten stares, you truly believe that he’s listening to the dialogue being exchanged. When he runs through a gunfight while bullets fly around him, you truly believe that this kitten is running for his life and you breathe a sigh of relief when he survives. When he meows, your heart melts with each squeaky sound. This is one amazingly talented kitten!

And it’s not surprising the everyone in the film wants Keanu. The 17th Street Blips (led by Method Man and created as the result of a merger between the Bloods and the Crips) not only want Keanu but they want to rename him New Jack as well. Their rival (played by Luis Guzman) wants Keanu and plans to rename him Eglesias. Two mysterious assassins — the much feared, very sadistic, and always silent Allentown Boys — want Keanu too. Since they don’t speak, they never say what they want to name him but it would probably be something cool.

And what really makes the film work is that none of them have a reason for wanting Keanu beyond the fact that he is literally the cutest kitten in Los Angeles. This film is full of dangerous and violent people but all of them love this cat. Everyone wants Keanu.

Well, I should say that everyone wants Keanu except for Anna Faris, who plays herself. All Anna Faris wants is a chance to do the latest designer drug, Holy Shit. (“It’s like smoking crack with God!” Method Man explains.) It’s probably a good thing that Anna Faris doesn’t want a cat because, as this movie reveals, she also has a potentially dangerous fascination with sharp swords and playing truth or dare.

Of course, Keanu technically belongs to Rell (Jordan Peele). They say that cats chose their owners and Keanu definitely does that when he shows up outside of Rell’s house. Rell has just been dumped by his girlfriend and existence has no meaning for him. But once Keanu shows up, Rell again learns to embrace life. He spends two weeks taking pictures of Keanu reenacting scenes from classic movies. But when the 17th Street Blips break into his house, mistakenly thinking that Rell has a supply of Holy Shit, they take Keanu for themselves.

Rell and his cousin Clarence (Keegan-Michael Key) team up to track down and retrieve Keanu from the Blips but there’s a problem. Rell may brag about growing up in New York and Clarence may have stories about his childhood on the streets of Detroit but both of them are painfully out-of-place in the violent world of Blips and Anna Faris. (Clarence is obsessed with George Michael while Rell “sounds like John Ritter all the time.”) Fortunately, Rell and Clarence happen to look exactly like the Allentown Boys. Method Man makes a deal with them. If Rell and Clarence — who are now going by the names TekTonic and Sharktank — train the Blips then he will give them Keanu.

(Method Man’s character is actually named Cheddar. Jeff just pointed out to me that Method Man previously played a character named Cheese on The Wire.)

While Rell struggles to fit in with the Blips, the nominally more straight-laced Clarence (who, unlike Rell, doesn’t even smoke weed) is soon having the time of his life. It turns out that Clarence specializes in corporate team building and he’s excited to introduce these techniques to Blips. (During one shootout, Clarence proudly announces, “They’re communicating!”)

Admittedly, Keanu is an uneven film. It’s essentially a collection skits and some of them are funnier than others. However, Key and Peele both bring so much commitment to bringing this insane story to life that they literally carry the audience over the occasional rough spot. It may not be perfect but it’s a film that announces that, whether on TV or in the movies, Key & Peele are a comedic force to be reckoned with.

Plus, that kitten is so damn cute!

(And, in case you were wondering, Keanu Reeves does make an appearance of sorts.)

This film is 90 minutes of laughter and that’s certainly something that we all need right now! See Keanu!

(Since you’ve probably already seen the trailer for Keanu — here it is, if you haven’t — let’s close this review with some exclusive audition footage.)

The Fabulous Forties #25: Jungle Man (dir by Harry L. Fraser)

Posted on April 27, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

About a month ago, for reasons that I’m sure made sense at the time, I decided it would be fun to watch and review all 50 of the films included in Mill Creek’s Fabulous Forties box set. If you know anything Mill Creek box sets, then you won’t be surprised to learn that the majority of these 50 films are public domain B-movies. A few of them have been good, a few of them have been bad, and a few of them have been forgettable.

I have to admit that, as much as I love watching old movies, there’s a part of me that’s more than ready to move onto the next Mill Creek box set, the Nifty Fifties. But, before I do that, I have to finish up the Forties. Fortunately, I just watched the 25th film included in the Fabulous Forties and I am happy to say that I am now halfway done with this project! Yay!

As for the film itself, it’s a 63-minute film from 1941. Though it was later retitled Drums of Africa, it was originally called Jungle Man.

As for what Jungle Man is about … well, it’s mostly about stock footage.

There is kind of a plot. Wealthy Bruce (Weldon Heyburn) and his friend Alex (Robert Carson) want to go to Africa so that they can see the legendary City of the Dead. Bruce’s fiancée, Betty (Sheila Darcy), decides to accompany them because she wants to visit her brother (Charles Middleton), a missionary. Once they get to Africa, they also meet a doctor (Buster Crabbe) who is trying to find a cure for a fever that is wiping out the native population.

But really, the plot is mostly just an excuse for stock footage. We watch as our explorers walk down a jungle trail. Someone says, “Look up in that tree!” We cut to grainy footage of a monkey in a tree. Cut back to everyone looking upward. Cut back to that monkey in the tree. Suddenly, we hear a roar on the soundtrack. Cut to slightly less grainy footage of a tiger running through a field. Cut back to the explorers saying, “Look out, tiger!” Cut back to the monkey climbing up higher in the tree.

(Of course, tigers don’t live in Africa but that’s just the type of film this is!)

Even when our heroes finally reach the City of the Dead, we don’t actually see them walking around the city. Instead, we see them staring into the distance and then immediately cut to some still shots of what Wikipedia identifies as being Cambodia’s Angkor Wat. Of course, no attempt is really made to match any of the shots. If Jungle Man was made today, they could just CGI the Hell out of it. But since it was made in 1941, audiences had to suspend their disbelief and accept shots that didn’t particularly match up with any other shots and a storyline that was pretty much determined by whatever stock footage the producers had available.

On the plus side, it’s only 60 minutes long and some of the stock footage is fun, particularly if you like cute monkeys or fierce tigers. For the most part, it’s silly but inoffensive.

And you can watch it below!

(I should admit that, as I watched it, I kept thinking about those GEICO commercials where Jane and Tarzan are lost in the jungle and Tarzan refuses to ask for directions. “Tarzan know where Tarzan go.” “No, Tarzan does not know where Tarzan go. Excuse me, do you know where the waterfall is? The waterfall?”)