Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
And love won’t hurt anymore …. unless your nickname is Gopher.
Episode 8.18 “Love on the Line/Don’t Call Me Gopher/Her Honor, the Mayor”
(Dir by Richard A. Wells, originally aired on January 26th, 1985)
Poor Gopher.
All he wants is for the crew to not call him by his nickname for one cruise. His friend Janet (Katherine Moffat) is going to be on the boat and she only knows him as Burl. Burl, to put it simply, wants to get laid. He suspects that he’ll have a better chance of getting laid if Janet doesn’t know that his nickname is Gopher. He’s probably correct about that, though Burl isn’t much of an improvement.
For some reason, the crew takes it personally. They act as if Burl is being arrogant by not wanting to be called by a nickname that brings to mind a hairy and destructive rodent. Eventually, Janet does discover that “Gopher” is Burl’s nickname and, just as Burl suspected, she finds it impossible to kiss him without laughing.
And yet, somehow, Burl is the one who ends up apologizing to the crew and accepting that he will always be known as Gopher. Listen, if the guy wants to be known by his actual legal name, that’s his right. Of course, Gopher does get laid after he accepts his nickname so maybe the crew had a point. Who knows?
Meanwhile, newly-elected Mayor Frances Hardy (Shelley Fabares) boards the boat with her campaign manager, Barry Singer (David Hedison). Barry is in love with Frances and wants to marry her. However, Frances ends up falling in love with the man she defeated in the election, Phil Haines (Robert Fuller). It’s nice to see that political differences don’t have to stand in the way of love. Imagine how different the country would be today if Hillary and Donald would just admit that they’re in love with each other.
Finally, businessman John Stockton (Cesar Romero) meets a mysterious woman named Marcy (Jane Wyatt). Mary encourages John to shake off his old routine and learn to love life. How will John react when he discovers that Marcy actually works in his office? If you guessed that John will fall in love with her, you’re right. This is the Love Boat!
This wasn’t a bad episode. The guest stars were likable. The stories were pleasant in that way that the Love Boat usually is. That said, I do feel bad for Gopher. All he wanted was a better nickname.
