I had not heard of TOO SCARED TO SCREAM when I came across it the other day on Tubi, but there were a few things that caught my interest. First, it had some cool artwork on the poster, which my fellow TSL contributor Erin has highlighted on the site before during Horror-Thon past. Next, I saw that one of the leads was Ian McShane. He’s been around for a long time, but I didn’t really discover his work until I got wrapped up in his excellent characterization of Al Swearengen in the HBO series DEADWOOD. This was a chance to fill in some of his back catalog. And probably one of the more interesting aspects of the film to me is the fact that it’s directed by the actor Tony Lo Bianco (THE HONEYMOON KILLERS, THE FRENCH CONNECTION, THE SEVEN-UPS). This is the only movie he would direct, so I needed to see it!

Lieutenant Alex Dinardo (Mike Connors) is investigating a series of knife murders at the upscale Royal Towers high-rise apartment building in New York City. One of the building’s doormen, the odd and theatrical Vincent Hardwick (Ian McShane), quickly becomes a person of interest. Dinardo brings in undercover cop Kate Bridges (Anne Archer) to help with the investigation, going so far as renting a room at the Royal Towers. As the victims continue piling up, the story gives us a variety of strange and suspicious characters, along with enough twists and turns to keep things moving.

I must admit that it’s been a blast discovering so many movies during this year’s Horror-Thon that have slipped past my radar over the years. Of course, sometimes you find a hidden gem, and other times you find a movie that seems to have fallen by the wayside for good reason. TOO SCARED TO SCREAM falls somewhere in between, but I’m glad I watched it. It has some interesting elements for sure, but it’s also a strange, oddball of a film. Its pacing is slow at times, and the opening credits theme song got my attention for all the wrong reasons. However, I did enjoy the combination of police procedural and slasher movie. Charles Bronson may have done it better around the same time in TEN TO MIDNIGHT, but there was still something nice about seeing veteran TV star Mike Connors (MANNIX) on the case. Another thing this had in common with the Bronson slasher is some impressive nudity! There’s a scene in a sauna that any red-blooded American male should enjoy!

And what a cast this movie has! I’ve mentioned before that one of the things I love most about movies is watching actors I enjoy. This is filled with so many familiar faces. Honestly, the show MANNIX was a little before my time, as I was only 2 when it ended its run, but I still enjoyed seeing Connors and being able to appreciate him really for the first time. My guess is that the character he plays here is a lot like Joe Mannix. Ian McShane seems to be having a lot of fun. His character is very strange, but the actor goes all in, and his performance gives the movie some personality. Anne Archer has always had that ability to portray tough and smart, and her character here has that in abundance. To those leads, you can add even more flavor with actors like Leon Isaac Kennedy (LONE WOLF MCQUADE), Maureen O’Sullivan (THE TALL T), Murray Hamilton (JAWS), Val Avery (LOVE AND BULLETS), and even John Heard (HOME ALONE), with each actor taking me back to memories of movies past.

One of the more interesting aspects of watching this film is that it feels very much like watching an 80’s television show until the clothes start coming off or the blood starts flowing. We see the murders, watch the matter-of-fact investigation, meet the suspects, and at the end the killer is revealed. I’m not very good at guessing who the killers are in movies, and I certainly would not have gotten this one. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure the ending would stand up to the scrutiny of a rewatch, but it actually made me smile in its absurdity.

TOO SCARED TO SCREAM isn’t a great movie, and there’s probably a legitimate reason that it’s not very well known or remembered these days. However, with its oddball mix of the 80s slasher film and TV police procedural, I still had a good time with it, especially when you consider the game cast of actors that pop up throughout the film. Part of our joy in movies comes from discovering them at the right time. I may or may not ever watch this one again, but this year, it was a fun part of my October.