Oh, hi, Indy. You’re back! I really enjoyed rewatching and reviewing Raiders of the Lost Ark at the start of October. Let’s take a look at Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom!
Hey, there you are, played by Harrison Ford! And let’s see, that title card says that this film is taking place a year before Raiders, so I already know you’re going to survive whatever trouble life throws at you. Wow, Kate Capshaw sure is overacting as that blonde singer. I hope she’s just going to be here for the opening of the film. I mean, seriously, Indy, everyone knows that you love Marion Ravenwood. Oh look, you’ve got a kid assistant! His name is Short Round and he is played by Ke Huy Quan, who years later is going to give one of the best Oscar acceptance speeches of all time. Okay, that shootout at the start of the movie went on a little bit too long and apparently Kate Capshaw is going to be in the entire film, but still, there was some fun action. Harrison Ford is one of those actors who can make just about anything enjoyable… or, at least, he was. He seems really grouchy nowadays. The plane crash was nicely handled. Where is this taking place, Indy? I guess you’re in India now? And your mission is to recover a sacred stone and free a bunch of kidnapped children from a nearby mine? That’s not bad! I like the fact that Indiana seems to really care about helping out the villagers. The stakes aren’t quite as high as with Raiders, but you really can’t get much higher than finding the Lost Ark of the Covenant. This should be a good, old-fashioned adventure movie and…
OH MY GOD, HE JUST RIPPED THAT GUY’S HEART OUT OF HIS CHEST!
Listen, I’m not here to make the argument that Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is a horror film. It’s not. It’s an adventure film, a thrill-ride with big sets and that classic Indiana Jones music and an extended chase sequence that feels like it was conceived specifically so it could be adapted into a hundred theme park roller coasters. Even more so than Raiders of the Lost Ark, it’s a throwback to the serials of the past, with Indiana, Short Round, and Willie (that’s Kate Capshaw’s character) running into another cliffhanger every fifteen minutes or so. It’s a fun adventure movie, made when Harrison Ford was at the peak of his abilities. If the story doesn’t resonate quite as strongly as either Raiders of the Lost Ark or The Last Crusade, it’s still far more memorable than those bland siblings known as Crystal Skull and Dial of Destiny.
That said, I would argue that the film is definitely horror-adjacent. This is a film that features Amrish Puri as a Thuggee priest who reaches into a man’s chest and removes his still-beating heart. In loving close-up, the heart continues to beat in the priest’s hands while the man squirms behind him. This is a film in which even Indiana is briefly possessed by otherworldly magic. Indy gets into a fight on a conveyor belt and not only does he have to avoid his opponent’s fists, but he also has to deal with terrible back pain because a little brat is poking a voodoo doll. I always used to blame my back pain on my boobs, but now I’m at least 65% convinced that the true culprit is someone with a magic Lisa doll.
Of course, the thing that really keeps this from being a horror film is that it’s a prequel. It takes place before Raiders of the Lost Ark, so we all know that Indy is going to make it out of the Thuggee mines and he’s not going to get his heart ripped out. For true horror to work, you have to feel like anyone could fall victim to whatever the story’s threat may be. We know Indiana’s going to be safe because he has to save the world from the Nazis in a year. We know Short Round’s safe because he’s a kid. And we really don’t care whether or not Willie’s safe.
Apparently, that heart removal sequence was so controversial that it led to the creation of the PG-13 rating. Without that rating, the original Red Dawn would have been rated R and a lot of teenagers would not have gotten a chance to cheer the destruction of the communists. As a country, we owe a lot to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
