4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Orson Welles Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today we celebrate what would have been the 111th birthday of the great Orson Welles!  It’s time for….

4 Shots from 4 Orson Welles Films

Citizen Kane (1941, dir by Orson Welles, DP: Gregg Toland)

MacBeth (1948, dir by Orson Welles, DP: John L. Russell)

The Trial (1962, dir by Orson Welles, DP: Edmond Richard)

Chimes at Midnight (1965, dir by Orson Welles, DP: Edmond Richard)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.2 “Treasure Hunt”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, cliffhangers are abandoned and emotions run wild.

Episode 4.2 “Treasure Hunt”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on August 2nd, 1998)

When last we checked in with Pacific Blue, we had a bit of cliffhanger going on.  Bobby Cruz was still considering whether or not to become a bicycle cop.  Detective Monica Harper was preparing to go back to her usual department.  And TC had just announced to Strickland and Granger that he wasn’t sure whether or not they would be continuing as bike cops.

Well, apparently, that all got worked out between episodes.  Strickland and Graner are still bike cops and they no longer appear to be living in that funky loft they were occupying during the previous episode.  Bobby is now a bike cop.  And Monica is a bike cop too because apparently, she got transferred to Pacific Blue.  She explains to Bobby that she goes wherever she’s sent but she’s not real happy about being a bike cop.  Hey, Monica, we’ve already got a whiny character on this show.  We don’t need another.

That whiny character — and yes, it is Chris Kelly — wants to be a sergeant.  So does Cory.  Both Chris and Cory take the sergeant’s exam.  Chris scores higher, though only by five points.  However, TC offers the sergeant’s position to Cory.  Chris, of course, whines about his decision.  TC replies that Cory’s been with the department longer and, unlike Chris, she’s never been written up for having a bad attitude.  TC feels that Cory will be a better role model for the new recruits and he’s probably right.  I mean, one of the few consistent things about Pacific Blue has been that Chris is generally thin-skinned and fairly rude to the people that citizens that she’s supposed to be protecting.  Chris is the bike cop who always seemed to be annoyed whenever she actually has to talk to anyone who doesn’t ride a bicycle.

One reason that is not mentioned for TC not promoting Chris is that Chris and TC are now married and I have to wonder how it would look if TC’s first action as commander was to promote his wife.  Honestly, how are TC and Chris even working together now?  This seems like a textbook case of conflict of interest.

As for the rest of the show, Strickland killed her first bad guy.  Shaken after shooting a convenience store robber, Strickland goes to a bar and gets drugged!  It turns out that someone is slipping GHB into the drinks on the boardwalk.  Could it have something to do with two obnoxious radio hosts who are broadcasting from the pier?  Bobby Cruz is not happy when he discovers that his 15 year-old sister is apparently a fan of their program….

Yes, Bobby Cruz is a Mexican-American bicycle cop from a tough neighborhood who is very protective of his younger sister.  Wasn’t that Victor Del Toro’s character as well?  Being from Texas, I’ve always been very aware of how television has always stereotyped any character who happens to have a Spanish last name.  With Pacific Blue, it looks like they just crossed out Victor Del Toro’s name in their scripts and wrote in Bobby Cruz instead.

Finally, Monica is looking for a new apartment.  Cory tries to keep Monica from finding out that there’s an apartment available in her building because …. Cory’s a bitch, maybe?  I don’t know.  It’s very out-of-character for Cory.  How is Cory going to be a sergeant if she gets this upset and petty over a new person being assigned to Pacific Blue?

Oh!  Also, Cory’s pregnant!  So far, only Chris knows.  Why would anyone tell Chris anything?  Chris is like hella mean….

Wow, a lot happened in this episode!  In fact, I’d say almost too much happened in this episode.  One got the feeling that the show’s writers wanted to focus on the newer members of the squad but, at the same time, they knew they had to come up with something for Chris to whine about.  In the past, Pacific Blue often felt understuffed.  This episode was definitely overstuffed.

Something is going to have to give.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.1 “The Return of Screech”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we start the 2nd season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class!

Episode 2.1 “The Return of Screech”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 10th, 1994)

After the disappointing reviews and ratings of the first season, Saved By The Bell: The New Class rebooted itself for the second season.  Robert Sutherland Telfer, Isaac Lidsky, and Bonnie Russavage were all fired and the characters of Scott, Weasel, and Vicky were dropped from the show. (No mention was ever made of where they had gone.  They just vanished.)

Suddenly, Megan and Lindsay’s best friend was Rachel Meyers (played by Sarah Lancaster, who appeared once during the first season).  Meanwhile, Swiss exchange student Brian Keller (played by a German actor named Christian Oliver) became the new head schemer while Bobby Wilson (Spankee Rodgers) became the new annoying sidekick with a crush on Megan.  From the start of the second season, everyone acted as if Brian and Bobby had always been there.  As for Lindsay and Tommy D, they continued to date.  And because Brian had a crush on Rachel, there was no longer anyone around trying to break the two of them up.

Mr. Belding was still the principal but now, he had a much bigger office with a window.  He also got a new administrative assistant, an education major who was on a work/study program with Cal U.  As you probably already guessed from this episode’s title, that administrative assistant turned out to be Screech Powers (Dustin Diamond).

Now, to give credit where credit is due, neither Screech nor Diamond are quite as annoying in this episode as they would eventually become.  By the end of the series, Diamond was giving such a broad performance as Screech that it almost came across as being deliberately self-destructive.  In this episode, though, Diamond just plays Screech as being overly earnest and too eager to please.  He may get on everyone’s nerves but at least he’s not doing the weird voices or the twisted facial expressions that would later come to typify his performance.

As for the plot of this episode, it’s dumb.  Rachel needs $700 so she can replace the jacket that she borrowed (without permission) from her mother.  Brian throws a party and sells tickets to help her raise the cash but when it turns out that Bobby’s house is not available for the party, Brian tricks Screech into unlocking the gym and allowing the party to be held in there.  When Belding shows up and demands to know what’s happening, Screech takes the blame and decides that he should return to Cal U.  And, really, he probably should have.  I mean, after all the years he spent with Zack, Screech should have been able to see that he was being manipulated.  What a moron.

But Brian does the right thing and tells the truth to Belding.  Brian and the Gang all get two-weeks detention.  Belding tells Screech that the students respect him and that he taught them an important lesson about the telling the truth.  I’m not sure how accurate any of that is but the important thing is that Screech stays at Bayside.

This episode was actually not as bad as I was expecting it to be.  Brian is a bit more likable than the first season’s Scott and this episode didn’t feature any of the mean-spiritedness that seemed to typify so much of the first season.  Even Screech was tolerable!

Don’t get used to it, though.  The season’s just getting started.

 

Song of the Day: Two Mules For Sister Sara by Ennio Morricone


This 1970 film, which was heavily influenced by Clint Eastwood’s Spaghetti westerns, featured a soundtrack from Ennio Morricone.  It only seems appropriate that his excellent work should also provide us with our song of the day.

 

Scenes I Love: Simon Of The Desert


From Luis Bunuel’s 1965 short film, Simon of the Desert, the faithful Simon (Claudio Brook) finds himself transported from 6th Century Syria to the 1960s by the Devil (Silvia Pinal).  The song playing at the club is called Radioactive Flesh.  Simon wants to go home.  The Devil wants to dance.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Cinco De Mayo Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Happy Cinco De Mayo to all of our readers!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Mexican Films

Simon of the Desert (1965, dir by Luis Bunuel, DP: Gabriel Figueroa)

El Topo (1970, dir by Alejandro Jodorowsky, DP: Rafael Corkidi)

Like Water For Chocolate (1992, dir by Alfonso Arau, DP: Emmanuel Luzbeki)

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006, dir. by Guillermo Del Toro, DP: Guillermo Nava)

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.18 “In The Best of Families”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, it’s all about sibling rivalry and crashing cars.

Episode 5.18 “In The Best of Families”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on February 21st, 1982)

Getrear is not in a good mood.

He’s got a big inspection coming up but the members of the Highway Patrol keep screwing up.  Bonnie’s patrol car is stolen while she’s on a coffee break.  Baricza’s car is stripped of its lights and its CHP insignia.  Ponch and Baker chase the thieves but somehow never manage to catch them.  Finally, someone breaks into Getraer’s dry cleaner’s place and steals two of Getraer’s uniforms.

The Highway Patrol is squabbling, as all families do.  They worry that Getraer is angling for a promotion and that they’ll have to “break in a new sergeant.”  Fortunately, Getraer isn’t planning on going anywhere.  Ponch, Baker, Bonnie, Turner, Grossie, Harlan, and Bear all get to keep their surrogate father figure.

Meanwhile, a real family is fighting.  Anne Francis has planned the perfect armored car robbery.  Now, she just needs her teenaged sons (Michael  Morgan and Timothy Patrick Murphy) to steal a patrol car and some uniforms….

This episode had a pretty silly story but that doesn’t matter because it also featured some truly spectacular stunt work.  The first crash occurs on a freeway and involves so many cars that it almost becomes a symphony of destruction.  A reporter assures us that no one was killed or even seriously injured in the accident but having watched it (in slow motion), I’m not really sure how that could be true.  Later, Turner’s car goes flying over a hillside and again, it’s such a spectacular crash that I’m shocked Turner was able to step out of the wreckage.

This was definitely an episode for those of us who enjoy watching spectacular car destruction.  This was a pure demolition derby and entertaining in the mindless way that those often are.  Even the best families enjoy automotive mayhem.

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.2 “Final Transmission”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988.  The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Torello and company search Chicago for a serial killer.

Episode 1.2 “Final Transmission”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on September 19th, 1986)

Mike Torello and the members of the MCU would really like to go after Luca and his crew but, unfortunately, there’s a serial killer on the loose in Chicago.  Realizing that the MCU is going to be tied up trying to track down Ray Pernell (John Snyder) before he kills again, Luca orders his crew to commit even more robberies.  Luca explains to a crestfallen Paulie that Luca will no longer be taking part in the robberies.  Luca is the boss and the boss doesn’t get his hands dirty.  Instead, Luca spends most of this episode meeting with Murray Weisbord’s man in Chicago, Max Goldman (Andrew Dice Clay).

This was an odd episode.  On the one hand, the show went out of its way to recreate Chicago in the early 60s.  The soundtrack was early rock and roll.  The cars all had tailfins.  The suits, the cigarettes, Luca’s haircut, all of the details screamed 1960s.  But then the episode revolved around a serial killer who thought his mother was addressing him through the television and who looked and dressed like a late 70s punk rocker.  I assume that Ray Pernell was based on Richard Speck, the notorious Chicago serial killer who, in 1966, murdered 8 student nurses.  Like Speck, Pernell had an identifying tattoo and both men were traced through the National Maritime Union.  That said, Pernell just seemed so out-of-place, with his sleeveless shirt and his punkish haircut that he just didn’t seem to belong in the world of Crime Story.

That said, I will give this episode some credit.  In the pilot, Luca often seemed like a clueless punk.  In this episode, he quickly realized that the MCU would be too busy hunting for Pernell to devote much time to him and he took advantage of that fact.  Luca’s not quite as dumb as he sometimes seems.  This episode also showed that he was capable of thinking ahead.  When he suspects that someone is listening in on his conversation with Goldman, he resists the temptation to burst into the room next door with his gun drawn.  (If he had, he would have run straight into Torello and Danny.)  This episode shows that Luca is learning and growing.  He not the buffoonish hothead that Torello originally assumed him to be.  In fact, he’s even more dangerous.

This episode ends with Pernell somehow (it’s not really clear how) taking an entire television news broadcast hostage.  Torello takes him down as the cameras roll and the entire city of Chicago watches.  It’s not a bad ending but it just doesn’t feel right for the show.  It’s a Miami Vice ending.  This is Crime Story!

10 Films For May the 4th


 

If you want to celebrate the 4th of May but you really don’t feel like sitting through any of the Star Wars films (especially now that you know that Leia, Luke, and Han’s struggle was pretty much for naught), here are ten other sci-films that will keep you entertained without ruinng your childhood memories!

  1. Starcrash (1978, dir by Luigi Cozzi) is not only the best of the so-called Star Wars rip-offs, it’s also one of the best space adventures ever made.  In fact, I would argue that Cozzi’s film is actually more entertaining than Star Wars, just because of Cozzi’s unabashed love of the genre and the fact that Starcrash had a bit more deliberate wit than George Lucas’s film.  Starcrash also had a once-in-a-lifetime cast of Caroline Munro, Marjoe Gortner, Joe Spinell, Christopher Plummer, and David Hasselhoff.  Starcrash is a true pop art masterpiece.
  2. Laserblast (1978, dir by Charles Band) — Fresh from menacing Mark Hamill in Corvette Summer, Kim Milford plays a totally 70s dude who finds a discarded alien weapon and turns into a green monster.  At one point, Milford blows up a Star Wars billboard.  Roddy McDowall is a small-town doctor.  Eddie Deezen and Dennis Burkley are bullies.  The Claymation aliens are adorable, especially when they start arguing with each other.
  3. Moonraker (1979, dir by Lewis Gilbert)– James Bond in space!  I’m well aware that Moonraker does not have a great reputation as far as Bond films are concerned but actually, it’s one of Roger Moore’s most enjoyably ludicrous outings.  Daniel Craig’s Bond could never go into space but Roger Moore could.  That’s why Moore will always be the superior Bond.
  4. The Humanoid (1979, dir by Aldo Lado) — After playing Jaws in both The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, Richard Kiel got to play a leading role.  “I believe that jacket belongs to Mr. Gilmore….”  No, this was before Happy Gilmore!  In The Humanoid, Kiel plays the kindly Golob who is transformed into a hulking, evil warrior.  Good Golob has a beard.  Evil Golob doesn’t.  This movie is a bit long but Kiel is always a delight to watch and it also features a cute dog robot.  Barbara Bach is the evil Lady Agatha, who is kept young by space virgin blood.  Ivan Rassimov, owner of the best hair in Italian exploitation, is Lord Graal.
  5. The Visitor (1979, dir by Giulio Paradisi) — What happens when you mix The Omen, The Exorcist, and Star Wars with a bunch of basketball stock footage?  You end up with one of the greatest Italian films ever!  John Huston is the alien/angel!  Lance Henriksen is the devil worshipper who owns a basketball team!  Franco Nero is Jesus, who lives on the Moon with a bunch of bald children!  Shelley Winters is Shelley Winters!  The Visitor is a film that simply has to be seen.
  6. Battle Beyond The Stars (1980, dir by Jimmy T. Murakami) — This Roger Corman-produced film never would have been made if not for the success of Star Wars.  That said, it’s actually a science fiction version of The Magnificent Seven, featuring the type of cast that only Corman could put together.  Richard Thomas, Robert Vaughn, George Peppard, Darlanne Fluegel, John Saxon, and Sybil Danning, they’re all in this terrifically entertaining space opera.
  7. Flash Gordon (1980, dir by Mike Hodges) — How many people have been driven mad after getting the theme song stuck in their head?  At every watch party that I host, Flash Gordon is always at the top of the list of films that people want me to select.  (Unfortunately, it’s not streaming anywhere for free right now.)  Like Starcrash and The Visitor, it’s a pop art masterpiece.  All together now: “Godon’s alive!”
  8. Space Raiders (1983, dir by Howard Cohen) — Roger Corman produced this film about a dumbass kid (David Mendenhall, who also played Stallone’s son in Over The Top) who stows away with a bunch of lovable space pirates and basically gets everyone killed.  This is worth seeing for Thom Christopher as Flightplan.  This film also features a scene where the kid tries to shout across space.  “HAWK!”
  9. Spaceballs (1987, dir by Mel Brooks) — Mel Brooks sends up the Star Wars saga as only he can.  It’s not totally successful but there are plenty of funny lines and Rick Moranis and John Candy are a delight.  Bill Pullman wisely plays his role straight and allows the supporting crew to get most of the laughs.
  10. Space Mutiny (1988, dir by Neal Sundstrom and David Winters) — “GO!  GO!  GO!” Reb Brown yells as Dave Ryder, the new head of security for Cameron Mitchell’s space fleet.  And Brown has a lot to yell about because John Phillip Law is leading a mutiny in plain sight.  Space Mutiny has a reputation for being one of the worst films ever made.  It may be.  But I still enjoy it.  Every space ship needs a disco.