Is there a better movie than Starcrash?

First released in 1978, Starcrash takes place in a galaxy that is probably far, far away.  The evil Count Zath Arn (Joe Spinell) is attempting to overthrow the benevolent Emperor (Christopher Plummer).  Zath Arn has built a weapon that is so large and so powerful that it can only be hidden inside of another planet.  (“Like a Death Star?” you say.  Hush, don’t go there….)  The Emperor’s son, Prince Simon (David Hasselhoff), led an expedition in search of the weapon but a surprise attack of glowing red lights led to his ship crashing on the unknown planet.  Simon is missing and Zath Arn’s power is growing.

Two legendary smugglers — Stella Starr (Caroline Munro) and the enigmatic Akton (Marjoe Gortner) — are released from prison and tasked with tracking down both the weapon and Simon.  (Stella was already in the process of escaping when she got the news of her release.)  Accompanied by the duplicitous Thor (Robert Tessier) and the loyal Elle (Judd Hamilton), a robot with a thick Southern accent, Stella and Akton set out to explore the haunted stars.

It’s a journey that leads them to …. well, actually, it only leads them to three planets.  It turns out that the weapon wasn’t that well-hidden after all.  Still, one planet is populated by Amazons and protected by a giant, tin robot.  Another planet is populated by cannibals who wear stone masks.  And then there’s an ice planet where the clouds race across the sky while Stella and Elle try to make it back to their ship without freezing to death.  And if that’s not enough to make things exciting, this film also features David Hasselhoff with a light saber!

There’s no point in denying that Starcrash would never have been made if not for the success of the first Star Wars.  Indeed, the film even begins with an opening crawl and features a shot that is almost a recreation of the first scene in Star Wars.  However, director Luigi Cozzi doesn’t limit himself to just mining Star Wars for inspiration.  The giant tin robot owes a huge debt to the creations of Ray Harryhausen.  The judge that sentences Stella and Akton to prison is the same talking head that appeared in Invaders From Mars.  A scene in which Stella explores an abandoned spaceship owes more than a little to 2001: A Space Odyssey.  Even Akton, with his telepathic powers, seems like he could have stepped out of an episode of Star Trek.

Starcrash makes no secret of its influences but it’s such an energetic and good-natured film that all of the borrowing feels like like a rip-off and more like a very affectionate homage.  It’s obvious that director Luigi Cozzi loved the films from which he borrowed and that love is present in every frame of Starcrash.  Starcrash is a fast-paced space adventure and it’s a lot of fun.  It’s certainly more fun than any of the recent entries in the Star Wars franchise.  Working with a low-budget, an energetic cast, and some surprisingly creative special effects, Cozzi crafts a genuinely entertaining movie.  Marjoe Gortner was never better than he was in Starcrash.  Christopher Plummer, to his credit, brings a truly noble bearing to the role of the Emperor.  Joe Spinell obviously understood that his role didn’t require subtlety and he delivers all of his lines like a villain in an old time serial.  As for David Hasselhoff …. he’s the Hoff and he brings his trademark earnestness to the role of Simon.  Starcrash is the best film that Cozzi ever directed.

A good deal of the success of Starcrash is due to Caroline Munro, who gives such a committed and likable performance as Stella Starr that it’s hard not to mourn the fact that Cozzi was never able to make any more films about the character.  As played by Munro, Stella Starr is a smart, confident, and strong.  Stella loves doing what she does and it’s impossible not share her joy when she announces she’s taking the ship into “hyperspace.”  Even though Stella spends the majority of the film running around in a leather bikini, Munro brings a definite touch of class to the role.  No one is going to push Stella Starr around and certainly, no one is going to destroy the Galaxy on her watch.  Thank to Caroline Munro’s fearless performance, Starcrash is one of the most empowering science fictions ever made.

Starcrash ends with hints of a possible sequel but sadly, there never came to be.  (Not surprisingly, there was an unrelated film that was advertised as being a sequel but which was actually just a softcore science fiction version of Lady Chatterley’s Lover.)  It’s a shame.  Stella Starr definitely deserved to have many more adventures.