10 Films For May the 4th


 

If you want to celebrate the 4th of May but you really don’t feel like sitting through any of the Star Wars films (especially now that you know that Leia, Luke, and Han’s struggle was pretty much for naught), here are ten other sci-films that will keep you entertained without ruinng your childhood memories!

  1. Starcrash (1978, dir by Luigi Cozzi) is not only the best of the so-called Star Wars rip-offs, it’s also one of the best space adventures ever made.  In fact, I would argue that Cozzi’s film is actually more entertaining than Star Wars, just because of Cozzi’s unabashed love of the genre and the fact that Starcrash had a bit more deliberate wit than George Lucas’s film.  Starcrash also had a once-in-a-lifetime cast of Caroline Munro, Marjoe Gortner, Joe Spinell, Christopher Plummer, and David Hasselhoff.  Starcrash is a true pop art masterpiece.
  2. Laserblast (1978, dir by Charles Band) — Fresh from menacing Mark Hamill in Corvette Summer, Kim Milford plays a totally 70s dude who finds a discarded alien weapon and turns into a green monster.  At one point, Milford blows up a Star Wars billboard.  Roddy McDowall is a small-town doctor.  Eddie Deezen and Dennis Burkley are bullies.  The Claymation aliens are adorable, especially when they start arguing with each other.
  3. Moonraker (1979, dir by Lewis Gilbert)– James Bond in space!  I’m well aware that Moonraker does not have a great reputation as far as Bond films are concerned but actually, it’s one of Roger Moore’s most enjoyably ludicrous outings.  Daniel Craig’s Bond could never go into space but Roger Moore could.  That’s why Moore will always be the superior Bond.
  4. The Humanoid (1979, dir by Aldo Lado) — After playing Jaws in both The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, Richard Kiel got to play a leading role.  “I believe that jacket belongs to Mr. Gilmore….”  No, this was before Happy Gilmore!  In The Humanoid, Kiel plays the kindly Golob who is transformed into a hulking, evil warrior.  Good Golob has a beard.  Evil Golob doesn’t.  This movie is a bit long but Kiel is always a delight to watch and it also features a cute dog robot.  Barbara Bach is the evil Lady Agatha, who is kept young by space virgin blood.  Ivan Rassimov, owner of the best hair in Italian exploitation, is Lord Graal.
  5. The Visitor (1979, dir by Giulio Paradisi) — What happens when you mix The Omen, The Exorcist, and Star Wars with a bunch of basketball stock footage?  You end up with one of the greatest Italian films ever!  John Huston is the alien/angel!  Lance Henriksen is the devil worshipper who owns a basketball team!  Franco Nero is Jesus, who lives on the Moon with a bunch of bald children!  Shelley Winters is Shelley Winters!  The Visitor is a film that simply has to be seen.
  6. Battle Beyond The Stars (1980, dir by Jimmy T. Murakami) — This Roger Corman-produced film never would have been made if not for the success of Star Wars.  That said, it’s actually a science fiction version of The Magnificent Seven, featuring the type of cast that only Corman could put together.  Richard Thomas, Robert Vaughn, George Peppard, Darlanne Fluegel, John Saxon, and Sybil Danning, they’re all in this terrifically entertaining space opera.
  7. Flash Gordon (1980, dir by Mike Hodges) — How many people have been driven mad after getting the theme song stuck in their head?  At every watch party that I host, Flash Gordon is always at the top of the list of films that people want me to select.  (Unfortunately, it’s not streaming anywhere for free right now.)  Like Starcrash and The Visitor, it’s a pop art masterpiece.  All together now: “Godon’s alive!”
  8. Space Raiders (1983, dir by Howard Cohen) — Roger Corman produced this film about a dumbass kid (David Mendenhall, who also played Stallone’s son in Over The Top) who stows away with a bunch of lovable space pirates and basically gets everyone killed.  This is worth seeing for Thom Christopher as Flightplan.  This film also features a scene where the kid tries to shout across space.  “HAWK!”
  9. Spaceballs (1987, dir by Mel Brooks) — Mel Brooks sends up the Star Wars saga as only he can.  It’s not totally successful but there are plenty of funny lines and Rick Moranis and John Candy are a delight.  Bill Pullman wisely plays his role straight and allows the supporting crew to get most of the laughs.
  10. Space Mutiny (1988, dir by Neal Sundstrom and David Winters) — “GO!  GO!  GO!” Reb Brown yells as Dave Ryder, the new head of security for Cameron Mitchell’s space fleet.  And Brown has a lot to yell about because John Phillip Law is leading a mutiny in plain sight.  Space Mutiny has a reputation for being one of the worst films ever made.  It may be.  But I still enjoy it.  Every space ship needs a disco.

10 Films For The Weekend (7/25/25)


Leaving Soon

With the end of July approaching, I decided to take a look at what would soon be leaving Tubi.  I should mention that just because these films are leaving Tubi, that doesn’t mean they’re not going to start streaming somewhere else.  In fact, I imagine the reason that they’re leaving is because they’re going to start streaming somewhere else.  Here’s a few worthwhile films that are currently listed as “leaving soon” on Tubi.

Sweet Smell of Success (1957) stars Burt Lancaster as a viscous columnist and Tony Curtis as his henchmen.  When Lancaster discovers that his sister is dating a jazz musician, Lancaster decides to destroy the man’s life.  One can view this film as a satire on the tabloids, a metaphor for McCarthyism, or a commentary on cancel culture.  All those interpretations are legitimate.  Then again, it can also be viewed as just being a tremendously enjoyable and endlessly quotable pulp masterpiece, a noir where the damage isn’t done by bullets but instead by words.  Here’s the link on Tubi.

Terence Malick’s Song to Song (2017) is an intriguing Texas-set film.  It’s a Malick film and, in many ways, it’s Malick at his most self-indulgent.  There are times when the film, with its languorous shots and its multiple narrators, almost becomes a self-parody.  But there are also images that are so strikingly beautiful that they stick with you.  A talented cast — Michael Fassbender, Ryan Gosling, Natalie Portman, Val Kilmer, and others — wanders through the film and offers up tantalizing hints of what’s going on underneath the surface of their ennui-drenched lives.  It’s left to the viewer to decide what it all means.  It’s a Malick film and, because of that, worth taking a chance on.  Here’s the link on Tubi.

Based on a novel by Don DeLillo and directed by David Cronenberg, Cosmopolis (2012) is a surreal film that follows a businessman (Robert Pattinson) as he is driven around New York.  This is one of those films that people seem to either love or hate.  I loved it and I thought this was the first film that showed Pattinson was capable of doing more than just Twilight.  In a key supporting role, Paul Giamatti gives a notably disturbing performance.  Here’s the link on Tubi.

What would you do if you had the chance to live the last day of your life over and over again?  That’s the question asked by one of my favorite films of the past ten years, Before I Fall (2017).  This is a film that brough back memories of me and my friends in high school and left me wondering if I needed to apologize to anyone.  Here’s the link on Tubi.

I’m still annoyed (if not necessarily surprised) that Nightcrawler (2014) was thoroughly ignored by the Academy.  Jake Gyllenhaal definitely deserved, at the very least, a nomination for his performance as a sociopath who finds a successful career in crime journalism.  Bill Paxton and Rene Russo give excellent supporting performances.  This may be a mainstream film but its heart belongs to the grindhouse.  Here’s the link on Tubi.

Finally, what can I say about Chinatown (1974) that hasn’t already been said by a hundred other critics?  It’s one of the best noirs ever made and it’s debatable whether or not Jack Nicholson has ever been better than he was here.  Along with an intriguing mystery, the film features one of the most loathsome villains of all time, John Huston’s Noah Cross.  Faye Dunaway is excellent as the femme fatale with a devastating secret.  Here’s the link on Tubi.

Odds and Ends

After watching Chinatown, why not check out Francis Ford Coppola’s The Conversation (1974)?  I have to admit that I envy those who were alive in 1974 and who got to see the second Godfather, Chinatown, and The Conversation when they were all first released.  What’s it like to live during a cinematic golden age?  The Conversation is a brilliant thriller, featuring Gene Hackman at his best.  This is a true masterpiece of paranoia and it can be viewed on Prime.

If you’re in the mood for something completely different, the dramedy Class (1983) features Andrew McCarthy as a nerdy student who has an affair with the mother (Jacqueline Bisset) of his roommate (Rob Lowe).  It’s a very 80s film and definitely a guilty pleasure.  It can be viewed on Prime.

Speaking of Rob Lowe, he plays a bad guy in the enjoyably melodramatic Bad Influence (1990).  James Spader plays the good guy for once, an adorably nerdy guy who discovers that his new best friend doesn’t exactly have his best interests at heart.  Directed by Curtis Hanson, Bad Influence is sordid fun.  It can be viewed on Prime.

Finally, I should mention that I bought a copy of Gianni Russo’s autobiography this week.  Russo is the entertainer who played Carlo Rizzi in The Godfather and who appeared in a handful of other films, usually playing a gangster.  I’m disappointed to say that Russo did not write about the experience of co-starring in the gloriously absurd, totally 70s sci-fi flick, Laserblast (1978).  Fortunately, you can watch the film for yourself.  Russo’s role is actually pretty small but the Claymation aliens are just adorable!  This is also probably the only film ever made to feature Eddie Deezen as a bully.  Laserblast is on Prime.

You can check out last week’s films but clicking here!

 

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for Laserblast!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  The movie? 1978’s Laserblast!

Which film has Kim Milford, Roddy McDowall, Eddie Deezen, Keenan Wynn, Rainbeaux Smith, Gianni Russo, Dennis Burkley, and two Claymation aliens!?  This film!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Laserblast is available on Prime, Tubi, YouTube, Pluto, and almost every other streaming service!  On twitter, I’ll be sharing a commercial-free link for the film begins.

See you there!

Spring Break on the Lens: Laserblast (dir by Michael Rae)


Before I say anything else, I should admit that I fully understand why some of you are going to say that the 1978 science fiction film, Laserblast, is not a spring break film.

First off, it takes place not on the beach but in the desert.  There is a scene that takes place at a pool but it’s one of those cheap pools that all of the desert towns have.

Secondly, the film itself doesn’t take place during the spring.  It takes place during the summer, when the sun is bright and harsh.  The teenagers in the film might not be in school but that’s just because it’s their summer vacation.

I get it.

But, as far as I’m concerned, Laserblast is spiritually a spring break film, even if it isn’t technically one.  I mean, just look at the film’s hero, Billy.  As played by the very handsome Kim Milford, Billy is a mellow guy with blonde hair, stoned eyes, and the attitude of someone who can say, “Right on!” and make you believe that everything will be right and on.  Billy even drives a totally 70s van.  Everything about Billy and his girlfriend, Kathy Farley (Rainbeaux Smith), screams Malibu.  Even in the desert and in the summer, they are the ideal spring break couple.

Billy, of course, gets in some trouble over the course of the film.  He stumbles across a space gun in the desert.  Billy doesn’t know what we know, that the space gun was accidentally left there by two adorable claymation aliens who previously visited Earth so that they could kill the gun’s owner.  Billy just thinks it’s a cool gun.  Soon, Billy is blowing up the town and turning into a green-skinned monster.  Billy even blows up a sign that’s advertising Star Wars, which is made doubly interesting by how much Kim Milford resembles Mark Hamill.  (The same year that Laserblast came out, Hamill and Milford acted opposite each other in Corvette Summer, with Milford’s mellow confidence providing a nice counter to Hamill’s somewhat hyperactive earnestness.)  Much like a drunk spring breaker who ends up vomiting into the ocean, Billy has found something that he enjoys and he’s allowing it to take over his life.  The space gun represents every vice and addiction that’s out there to tempt people into risking their lives and their sanity and their totally 70s van.  (We don’t see much of the inside of the van but I’m willing to bet that it has shag carpeting and a strobe light.)  The spring breakers in The Real Cancun spent their week drinking themselves into a stupor.  Billy, on the other hand, spends a week blowing stuff up and turning into a monster.  Of course, that’s the great thing about spring break.  How you spend your time is your business.

Laserblast is a low-budget film, one that is often listed as being one of the worst films ever made.  Myself, I love the film because I think the aliens are cute and I enjoy Kim Milford’s performance as Billy.  Actually, for a film that didn’t cost much to make, Laserblast has a surprisingly impressive cast.  Technically, it’s not a shock to see Roddy McDowall in the film, since McDowall apparently accepted every role that he was offered in the 70s.  But Roddy’s trademark neurotic eccentricity is still welcome in the small role of Billy’s doctor.  The great character actor Dennis Burkley shows up as a fascist deputy.  Gianni Russo, who played Carlo Rizzi in The Godfather, plays a government agent who shows up from out of nowhere and who wears a cream-colored suit that makes him look like a wedding DJ.  Keenan Wynn, who also apparently accepted any role he was offered in the 70s, plays Rainbeaux Smith’s drunk grandfather.  Best of all, Eddie Deezen, who was best known for playing stereotypical nerd characters in films like Grease, shows up as a bully named Froggy!  After getting bullied by Eddie Deezen, who wouldn’t pick up the first space gun they found and start blasting rocks?

Laserblast is fun, just like spring break.  I like it, just like spring break.  So does Arleigh so be sure to check out his review, as well!