10 Films For May the 4th


 

If you want to celebrate the 4th of May but you really don’t feel like sitting through any of the Star Wars films (especially now that you know that Leia, Luke, and Han’s struggle was pretty much for naught), here are ten other sci-films that will keep you entertained without ruinng your childhood memories!

  1. Starcrash (1978, dir by Luigi Cozzi) is not only the best of the so-called Star Wars rip-offs, it’s also one of the best space adventures ever made.  In fact, I would argue that Cozzi’s film is actually more entertaining than Star Wars, just because of Cozzi’s unabashed love of the genre and the fact that Starcrash had a bit more deliberate wit than George Lucas’s film.  Starcrash also had a once-in-a-lifetime cast of Caroline Munro, Marjoe Gortner, Joe Spinell, Christopher Plummer, and David Hasselhoff.  Starcrash is a true pop art masterpiece.
  2. Laserblast (1978, dir by Charles Band) — Fresh from menacing Mark Hamill in Corvette Summer, Kim Milford plays a totally 70s dude who finds a discarded alien weapon and turns into a green monster.  At one point, Milford blows up a Star Wars billboard.  Roddy McDowall is a small-town doctor.  Eddie Deezen and Dennis Burkley are bullies.  The Claymation aliens are adorable, especially when they start arguing with each other.
  3. Moonraker (1979, dir by Lewis Gilbert)– James Bond in space!  I’m well aware that Moonraker does not have a great reputation as far as Bond films are concerned but actually, it’s one of Roger Moore’s most enjoyably ludicrous outings.  Daniel Craig’s Bond could never go into space but Roger Moore could.  That’s why Moore will always be the superior Bond.
  4. The Humanoid (1979, dir by Aldo Lado) — After playing Jaws in both The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, Richard Kiel got to play a leading role.  “I believe that jacket belongs to Mr. Gilmore….”  No, this was before Happy Gilmore!  In The Humanoid, Kiel plays the kindly Golob who is transformed into a hulking, evil warrior.  Good Golob has a beard.  Evil Golob doesn’t.  This movie is a bit long but Kiel is always a delight to watch and it also features a cute dog robot.  Barbara Bach is the evil Lady Agatha, who is kept young by space virgin blood.  Ivan Rassimov, owner of the best hair in Italian exploitation, is Lord Graal.
  5. The Visitor (1979, dir by Giulio Paradisi) — What happens when you mix The Omen, The Exorcist, and Star Wars with a bunch of basketball stock footage?  You end up with one of the greatest Italian films ever!  John Huston is the alien/angel!  Lance Henriksen is the devil worshipper who owns a basketball team!  Franco Nero is Jesus, who lives on the Moon with a bunch of bald children!  Shelley Winters is Shelley Winters!  The Visitor is a film that simply has to be seen.
  6. Battle Beyond The Stars (1980, dir by Jimmy T. Murakami) — This Roger Corman-produced film never would have been made if not for the success of Star Wars.  That said, it’s actually a science fiction version of The Magnificent Seven, featuring the type of cast that only Corman could put together.  Richard Thomas, Robert Vaughn, George Peppard, Darlanne Fluegel, John Saxon, and Sybil Danning, they’re all in this terrifically entertaining space opera.
  7. Flash Gordon (1980, dir by Mike Hodges) — How many people have been driven mad after getting the theme song stuck in their head?  At every watch party that I host, Flash Gordon is always at the top of the list of films that people want me to select.  (Unfortunately, it’s not streaming anywhere for free right now.)  Like Starcrash and The Visitor, it’s a pop art masterpiece.  All together now: “Godon’s alive!”
  8. Space Raiders (1983, dir by Howard Cohen) — Roger Corman produced this film about a dumbass kid (David Mendenhall, who also played Stallone’s son in Over The Top) who stows away with a bunch of lovable space pirates and basically gets everyone killed.  This is worth seeing for Thom Christopher as Flightplan.  This film also features a scene where the kid tries to shout across space.  “HAWK!”
  9. Spaceballs (1987, dir by Mel Brooks) — Mel Brooks sends up the Star Wars saga as only he can.  It’s not totally successful but there are plenty of funny lines and Rick Moranis and John Candy are a delight.  Bill Pullman wisely plays his role straight and allows the supporting crew to get most of the laughs.
  10. Space Mutiny (1988, dir by Neal Sundstrom and David Winters) — “GO!  GO!  GO!” Reb Brown yells as Dave Ryder, the new head of security for Cameron Mitchell’s space fleet.  And Brown has a lot to yell about because John Phillip Law is leading a mutiny in plain sight.  Space Mutiny has a reputation for being one of the worst films ever made.  It may be.  But I still enjoy it.  Every space ship needs a disco.

Scenes That I Love: Reb Brown in Space Mutiny


HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY, REB BROWN!

Reb Brown, the star of some of the loudest movies ever made, will be turning 78 in four more days but I bet he could still beat the evil doers and encourage us all by shouting, “Go!  Go!  Go!”  A former college football player turned actor, Reb Brown holds the distinction of being one of the first actors to play Captain America and for also starring in classic films like Yor Hunter of the Future, Strike Commando and Strike Commando 2. Though he may not have ever become a household name, Reb Brown is a beloved figure amongst my circle of film-loving friends.

The scene below is from 1988’s Space Mutiny and it featured Reb doing what Reb does best.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for Space Mutiny!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly watch parties.  On Twitter, I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday and I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday.  On Mastodon, I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  The movie?  SPACE MUTINY!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Space Mutiny is available on Prime and Tubi!

See you there!

Scenes That I Love: Reb Brown in Space Mutiny


Yell it loud …. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REB BROWN!

Reb Brown, the star of some of the loudest movies ever made, is 76 years old today but I bet he could still beat the evil doers and encourage us all by shouting, “Go!  Go!  Go!”  A former college football player turned actor, Reb Brown holds the distinction of being one of the first actors to play Captain America and for also starring in classic films like Yor Hunter of the Future, Strike Commando and Strike Commando 2. Though he may not have ever become a household name, Reb Brown is a beloved figure amongst my circle of film-loving friends.

The scene below is from 1988’s Space Mutiny and it featured Reb doing what Red does best.

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Space Mutiny and Hoosiers!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1988’s Space Mutiny I picked it so you know it’ll be good.

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet.  We will be watching 1986’s Hoosiers!  The film is on Prime!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Space Mutiny on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Twitter and Prime, start Hoosiers, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.   

 

The TSL’s Grindhouse: Space Mutiny (dir by David Winters)


“Arggggh!”

— Dave Ryder (Reb Brown) in Space Mutinty (1988)

Space Mutiny, a sci-fi epic from 1988, is full of dialogue about all sorts of political and philosophical concerns but none of it is quite as memorable as the quote above.  Dave Ryder says, “Argggggh!” a lot over the course of Space Mutiny.  He’s the newly appointed head of security for the Southern Sun, a gigantic spaceship that has spent the last 260 years traveling from Earth to a new planet.  Being head of security is important because there are some people on the Southern Sun who are plotting a mutiny.  Dave Ryder decides that the most effective way to battle the mutineers is to yell loudly and frequetly.  “ARGGGGGH!’ Ryder yells whenever he’s being shot at.  “ARGGGGGGGH!” he screams when he finds himself on a very slow and gradual collision course with the head of the mutineers.

When Dave isn’t saying stuff like, “Argggggh!,” he’s saying stuff like, “Go!  Go!  Go!”  When the bad guys open fire on him and his men, it’s time for them to “Go!  Go!  Go!”  When the mutineers are being chased, Dave is quick to tell everyone to “Go!  Go!  Go!”  He’s like the physical fitness trainer from Hell.  He never actually yells “Feel the burn!” but you can be damn well sure that he’s thinking it.  In fact, there’s a point in the movie where “Feel the burn!” actually would have been a good line.  Dave and his girlfriend, Lea (Cissie Cameron), set a mutineer on fire.  It’s actually a bit of a sadistic scene and it doesn’t come across as being the big hero moment that it’s obviously meant to be.  But, then again, Dave isn’t yelling because he’s a nice guy.  He’s yelling because he’s played by Reb Brown.  Reb Brown yelled all the way through Strike Force Commando.  Why wouldn’t he do the same for Space Mutiny?

Of course, Dave isn’t the only person barking out orders on the Southern Sun.  Cameron Mitchell plays the ship’s captain, a wise old man who looks like Santa Claus.  John Phillip Law is Kalgon, the main mutineer.  He laughs a lot.  Cissie Cameron is the captain’s daughter.  She falls for Ryder, despite the fact that she appears to be old enough to be Ryder’s mother.  (In real life, Reb Brown and Cissie Cameron are married and Cissie is only a few years older than Reb.  In Space Mutiny, she’s stuck with an unflattering hair style and is made up to look like an aging cheerleading coach.)  There’s also a woman who works on the ship’s bridge.  She’s killed in one scene, just to mysteriously turn up alive in the scene that follows.  In space, no one can hear the script supervisor.  Finally, there’s a group of alien witches who board the ship and spend the entire movie dancing in front of a ball of electricity.  Since they don’t actually interact with any of the main characters, it’s obvious that they were added to pad out the film’s running time.

One of the more interesting things about Space Mutnity is that Kalgon actually has a point.  It does seem kind of stupid to spend several hundred years traveling to just one planet when there’s other planets nearby that the ship could just as easily reach.  Indeed, the mission of the Southern Sun never makes that much sense and the Captain seems to be delusional in his insistence that it does.  The Captain’s unending faith and his long-flowing beard makes him come across like a minor biblical prophet, the type who always had to ask a major prophet to interpret his visions for hm.  The Captain does not come across like someone who really knows what he’s doing.  I don’t care how much Ryder screams, Kalgon had a point!

Today, Space Mutiny is best known for being featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and for later being taken apart by the Rifftrax crew.  Space Mutiny, though, is such an extremely silly movie that you really don’t even need any professionals to help you snark your way through it.  The film offers up such a treasure trove of material then even the most humorless among your friends will be a comedic genius by the time it ends.  It’s a fun movie, made even more so by the fact that the filmmakers apparently meant for the film to be taken seriously.  There’s a lot of talk about important issues like freedom, duty, and faith.  In the end, what you’ll remember is the screaming.

6 Trailers For Father’s Day That Have Absolutely Nothing To Do With Father’s Day


In honor of Father’s Day, this latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers features 6 trailers that have absolutely nothing to do with the holiday.

Enjoy!

1) The X From Outer Space (1967)

The Late Night Movie Crew and I watched this movie last night.  They enjoyed it because it was about a space chicken that destroys Tokyo.  I enjoyed it because one of the main characters was named Lisa.  Let’s take a moment to consider just how much every film could be improved by a Lisa.

2) Space Mutiny (1988)

This trailer is in German so I’m really not sure what’s going on with it.  However, it does feature a little bit of dancing and a bunch of lasers going “pew pew.”

3) The Hideous Sun Demon (1959)

“The blaze of noon made him a monster!”  I feel bad for him, mostly because I’m a redhead so I have firsthand experience with how cruel the sun can be.

4) The Alligator People (1958)

“Her honeymoon turned into a nightmare of horror!”  That’ll happen.

5) The Astounding She Monster (1957)

The Alligator People are no match for the Astounding She Monster.

6) Devil Girl From Mars (1954)

Hmmmm…originally, I was going to be Scarlett Johansson as the Black Widow for Halloween but now I’m thinking I might have to be the Devil Girl From Mars.

What do you think, Trailer Kitty?

Trailer Kitty