Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.1 The Crew’s Cruise Director/What a Drag/Doc’s Slump

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, it’s time to start season 8!

Episode 8.1 “The Crew’s Cruise Director/What a Drag/Doc’s Slump”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on September 22nd, 1984)

The season starts with the Captain gathering the crew  — including Ace, your ship’s photographer! — in his cabin and telling them that Julie will not be joining them on their next cruise.  Or any other cruise for that matter.  Julie has eloped will never be seen again.  (In real life, Lauren Tewes was struggling with a cocaine addiction and was fired after the seventh season.)  Everyone drinks a toast to Julie, even Captain Stubing who has previously been established as a recovering alcoholic.

The new cruise director is Bernice Bronson (Diane Ladd), who is oddly abrasive and doesn’t seem to care about keeping any of the passengers happy.  Seriously, why is this woman a cruise director?  I understand that The Love Boat had corporate sponsorship so I have to wonder how the actual executives at Princess Cruise Line felt about one of their employees being portrayed as being so incompetent at her job.  Fortunately, Julie’s sister — Judy McCoy (Pat Klous) — is also on the cruise.  A former cruise director herself (who, we’re told, taught Julie everything she knew), Judy takes it upon herself to cover for Bernice.

This week’s cruise is an all women’s cruise to Alaska.  Along with going to the coldest place on Earth, the passengers also get to have a pajama party in the ship’s lounge and one of them will win a date with sexy singing sensation (snicker) Engelbert Humperdinck.  Engelbert only appears briefly in this episode, which is good because I misspell his name every time I try to write about him.

Doc’s new girlfriend, Emily (Michelle Phillips), is not amused that Doc is on a boat full of women.  She knows that Doc has a reputation and a history.  Ace and Gopher take it upon themselves to try to convince Emily not to leave Doc.  Doc just looks exhausted in this episode.

Emily really should put the blame on publicist Jane Fletcher (Patty Duke).  Jane’s the one who came up with the idea for the cruise and also the contest to win a date with the singer whose name I can’t spell.  Jane’s husband (Bert Convy) and his best friend (Arte Johnson) decide to disguise themselves as women and sneak on board.  Jane immediately recognizes her bathrobe at the pajama party so she pretends to be in love with Captain Stubing in order to make her husband jealous.  Meanwhile, Bernice falls in love with the husband’s friend and she quits her job.

OH MY GOD — THE CRUISE IS WITHOUT A CRUISE DIRECTOR!

Well, don’t worry.  The Captain offers the job to Judy and Judy accepts.

This episode was …. well, it was okay.  It felt strange not having Julie aboard but Judy seems like she’ll be a good replacement and I’m also happy that Ted McGinley is now a permanent member of the crew.  Personally, I would love to have a pajama party on a cruise ship.  That said, Jane should have divorced her idiot husband and Doc really should do something about this midlife crisis that he’s been having for the last eight years.

I’m looking forward to this new season, though.  Love is still exciting and new.

Scenes That I Love: Jack Meets Lloyd in The Shining

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The scene below is, of course, from Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 masterpiece, The Shining.

In this scene, Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) stumbles into the Overlook Hotel’s ballroom, still fuming over having been accused of abusing his son.  A recovering alcoholic, Jack sits at the bar and thinks about how he would give up his soul for just one one drink.  And, on cue, Lloyd (Joe Turkel) appears.

As I was watching this scene, it occurred to me that, way back in 1980, there probably was some guy named Lloyd who saw this movie in a theater and was probably totally shocked when Jack suddenly stared straight at him and said, “Hey, Lloyd.”

The brilliance of this scene is that we never actually see Lloyd materialize.  We see him only after Jack has seen him.  So, yes, Lloyd could be a ghost.  But he could also just be a figment of Jack’s imagination.  Jack very well could just be suffering from cabin fever.  Of course, by the end of the movie, we learn the truth.

Everyone always talks about Jack Nicholson’s performance as Jack.  Some people love it and some people hate it.  (I’m in the first camp.)  However, let’s take a minute to appreciate just how totally creepy Joe Turkel is in this scene.  Turkel was a veteran character actor and had appeared in two previous Kubrick films, The Killing and Paths of Glory.  Two years after appearing in The Shining, Turkel played what may be his best-known role, Dr. Eldon Tyrell in Blade Runner.  Today, incidentally, would have been Joe Turkel’s 99th birthday.

From Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, here’s Jack Nicholson and Joe Turkel:

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Larry Cohen Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

Today would have been the 90th birthday of the pioneering indie film director, Larry Cohen.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Larry Cohen Films

It’s Alive (1974, dir by Larry Cohen)

God Told Me To (1976, dir by Larry Cohen)

Q: The Winged Serpent (1982, dir by Larry Cohen)

The Ambulance (1990, dir by Larry Cohen)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.10 “Thrill Week”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the local college fraternity is out of control and somehow, it’s up to the bicycle patrol to restore order to the campus.

Episode 4.10 “Thrill Week”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on November 29th, 1998)

It’s rush week, which means that the beach is full of drunk college students.  Fortunately, the bike patrol is there to keep the peace.  Bobby Cruz is upset when he discovers that his teenager sister, Teresa (Susan Enriquez), is hanging out at the rush events, drinking beer, smoking, and hooking up with frat boys.

So, let’s see.  Bobby is a Latino bicycle cop who grew up in a poor neighborhood.  He flirts with Cory.  He’s fiercely overprotective of his teenage sister.  So, basically, he’s exactly like Victor del Toro, except for the fact that he’s played by Mario Lopez.  It wouldn’t surprise me if, when Lopez was handed this script, someone had just gone through and crossed-out Victor’s name and written in Bobby’s name instead.

Anyway, the frat hazing is getting out-of-hand so TC decides to send Granger in undercover.  (I  know I ask this every week but, seriously, why are bicycle cops doing undercover work?)  TC is a former member of the fraternity so he introduces Granger as being his nephew and arranges for Granger to be accepted into the frat as a legacy.  At first, Granger has no interest in being  a member of a frat but then he sees all the beer and changes his mind.

What’s the plot here?  Good question.  Tanner Sexton (Thomas Caron) attempts to drug and rape his ex-girlfriend at a fraternity party but, fortunately, Bobby and Cory show up in time to stop him.  (Granger helps Teressa escape being caught at the party by punching Bobby.)  Despite the fact that he’s dating his son’s ex, Tanner’s father (Clint Carmichael) pulls some strings and gets Tanner released from jail.

Later, Bobby, Cory, and TC confront Tanner at the frat house and Tanner pulls a gun.  Bobby shoots Tanner in the shoulder.  “You’ll be okay,” TC tells Tanner.  Uhmm, the dude just get shot in the shoulder.  That’s not a minor wound!

Eh.  Who cares?  This episode was dumber than usual.  I’m less concerned about the frat and more curious as to why new cast members Shanna Moakler and Amy Hunter always seem to be absent (or, in Hunter’s case, mostly absent) from any episode involving Granger.  For that matter, Darlene Vogel was missing from this episode as well.  One gets the feeling that show couldn’t afford to ever have the entire cast in the same episode at the same time.

Four seasons in and this show has yet to convince that a bike patrol is even necessary.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.9 “Belding’s Prank”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we have an episode that you should watch at your own risk.

Episode 2.9 “Belding’s Prank”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 8th, 1994)

This is one of those episodes where the plot just gives you a headache.

It’s Prank Week at Bayside and Mr. Belding is all in.  He thinks that Prank Week is a great way to build school spirit.  When Screech informs Belding that the new superintendent is coming to inspect the school, Belding assumes that it’s a prank.  Meanwhile, Brian, Tommy, and Bobby are trying to prank Rachel, Lindsay, and Megan and vice versa.  Brian, Tommy, and Bobby sabotage a sink in the girls locker room.  Rachel, Lindsay, and Megan put a live chicken in the boys locker room.

Finally, Screech is able to convince Belding that the superintendent is coming.  Belding suspends prank week.  However, when a plumber (Ken Thorley) shows up to look at the sink, the girls tell Screech that he’s the superintendent.  (The plumber was at the Plumber Awards Banquet and is wearing a suit.)  Belding and Screech give the plumber a tour of the school.  Belding take him to the Max for lunch.

The real superintendent (Raye Birk) shows up but Screech thinks he’s the plumber.  (Oh my God, this hurts my head just to write.)  Screech tells the superintendent to fix the sink.  The superintendent gets sprayed with black sludge.  Screech takes the superintendent to the boys locker room to wash up.  The superintendent runs into the chickens and ends up covered in feathers.

The superintendent demands to speak to Belding in his office.  Our core group of students — who apparently don’t have any classes to go to — wait outside.  Belding steps out of the office and announces, “I’ve been fired.”

Well, yeah, I should say so.  There’s absolutely no reason for Belding not to be fired.  He obviously can’t control his school.  Hell, he can’t even get his students to go to class.

The next day, the superintendent returns and, at a school assembly, says he’s going to introduce the new principal.

“We want Mr. Belding back!” Brian cries out.

“Then you should have appreciated him when he was here,” the superintendent replies.

The superintendent then introduces the new principal — “Mr. Richard Belding!”

Belding steps out on stage, disappointing Screech who thought he was going to be the new principal.  “Got ya!” Belding says to the students.  Hey, it was all a prank!  Belding mentions that it’s a good thing that the superintendent had a sense of humor.

WHAT!?

I’ve seen this episode a few times.  Dennis Haskins actually gives one of his better performances as Belding in this episode.  You really do believe him when he says, “I’ve been fired,” which makes it all the more strange when it turns out it was all just an elaborate prank.

Overall, though, this is one of those episodes that gives me a headache in that every problem could have been resolved by everyone not acting like an idiot.  This is migraine television.  And that’s no prank!

Song of the Day: Everybody’s Talkin’, performed by Harry Dean Stanton, Johnny Depp, and Kris Kristofferson

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

This was filmed in 2016.  Not only do we have Harry Dean Stanton, Kris Kristofferson, and Johnny Depp but David Lynch puts in an appearance early on in the video as well.

Scenes I Love: Harry Dean Stanton in Paris, Texas

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today would have been the 100th birthday of the great character actor, Harry Dean Stanton.

My scene that I love for the day comes from Wim Wenders’s Paris, Texas.  This 1984 film gave Stanton a rare starring role as Travis, a man searching for Jane (Nastassja Kinski), the mother of his son.  In this scene, physically separated and hidden from Jane by a one-way mirror, Travis talks about their relationship and their son.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Ingmar Bergman Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

One hundred and eight years ago today, Ingmar Bergman was born in Sweden.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Ingmar Bergman Films

Smiles Of A Summer Night (1955, dir. by Ingmar Bergman)

The Seventh Seal (1957, dir by Ingmar Bergman)

The Virgin Spring (1960, dir by Ingmar Bergman)

Persona (1966, dir by Ingmar Bergman)

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.26 “K-9-1”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Baker watches in awe as Ponch saves the day once again.

Episode 5.26 “K-9-1”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on May 9th, 1982)

While two thieves calling themselves “the new James gang” are busy hijacking city buses and robbing the passengers, Ponch and Baker work with a group of deputy sheriffs who are a part of the K-9 unit.  When one of the sheriffs is injured and her dog blinded by an explosive, Ponch steps in and proves to the crusty old supervisor (John Vernon) that the dog can still do its job.

(The dog, needless to say, is adorable!)

This episode felt like a callback to the early seasons of CHiPs, in which the emphasis was on all of the different divisions of law enforcement working together.  At the same time, it was verry much a season 5 episode in that, despite the fact that Baker had always been portrayed as the one who liked and was good with animals, it was Ponch who was assigned to work with the dogs.  Indeed, Baker is pretty much reduced to a cameo in this episode.

In other words, it’s….

In fact, CHiPs was about to become even more The Ponch Show.  With the fifth season coming to an end and contracts coming up for renegotiation, Larry Wilcox left the show because he felt that the producers always favored Erik Estrada over him.  (Judging from what I’ve seen, he was right.)  As well, Randi Oakes, Brodie Greer, and Michael Dorn (who all played other members of the Highway Patrol) left as well because they were dissatisfied with their contracts.  Of the old regulars, only Estrada, Robert Pine, Lou Wagner, and Paul Linke returned for the sixth and final season.

However, before we get to that season, we have one more fifth season episode to go.  Next week, season 5 ends with an episode that doesn’t feel like CHiPs at all.  See you then!