Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, things wrap up in Hawaii.

Episode 5.4 “Blue Hawaii: Part Two”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on August 8th, 1999)

In Hawaii, the California bike cops and the Hawaiian anti-drug task force decide to work together to get revenge for the death of Officer Peter Cho. “For Peter,” the bike cops say, obviously moved by the death of someone who they barely knew. They decide that the best way to take down drug dealer Michael Shane (Shawn Michaels) is with an undercover operation. Of course, the last time they tried to take down Shane with an undercover operation, Peter got shot. I swear, these idiots never learn anything. They’re kind of like the people in Michigan who are incapable of understanding that a senatorial candidate who spends the majority of his time voluntarily hanging out with anti-Semites is probably a rabid anti-Semite himself.

Luckily, Shane doesn’t learn anything either. When Cory presents herself as being a former bank employee who can hack into a bank and steal a lot of money, Shane falls for it. Or, at least, he does for a few minutes. Eventually, he figures out what’s going on and, after a tense standoff with the other cops, he makes a run for it. In one of the dumbest scenes I have ever seen, TC borrows a stranger’s bicycle so he can pedal it through the hotel while chasing Shane. I mean, I get that this is a show about bicycle cops but I’m starting to feel that TC uses bicycles the way that some people use a security blanket.

While that’s going on, Bobby considers staying in Hawaii with Claire (Kristanna Loken) but eventually, he decides not to because I imagine the only reason people were watching this show in 1999 was to see Mario Lopez chase after the bad guys. Just as with last week’s episode, this was clearly meant to be a pilot for a series that would have followed the Hawaiian cops. (Baywatch relocated to Hawaii around the same time.) As such, it’s not like Claire could have followed Bobby to California. So, I guess Bobby and Claire are done.

There is one odd moment where Bobby and Claire are talking about the undercover operation that got their colleague Peter killed. Bobby says that all he could think about was that, if anything happened to Claire, he’d never forgive himself. Claire says she was thinking the same thing about Bobby. Umm, hello? Peter’s dead! Remember all of that “For Peter” nonsense? I swear, bicyclists are so self-centered.

There’s another moment where TC gets a call from Monica, who is still in California. She informs him that there’s a guy running for mayor who says he’s going to eliminate the bicycle patrol because it’s a waste of money. I want to vote for him!