Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.23 “Trained For Trouble”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, there’s an interesting crime spree but nothing is more important than Ponch’s feelings.

Episode 5.23 “Trained For Trouble”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on April 4th, 1982)

Animals have been trained to steal money!  A hawk swoops down and steals a bag of cash from an armored car.  Chimpanzees rob a bank!  It’s madness and the Highway Patrol has its work cut out for them as they attempt to catch whoever has trained these criminal animals.  (The minute that one sees Don Stroud’s name in the guest star list, it’s pretty easy to guess who is responsible.)

That may sound like a cute idea for a show and, to be honest, it is.  However, this episode is somehow less concerned with the animals robbing banks than it is with every woman in Los Angeles mistaking Ponch for a Chippendale’s dancer.  It turns out that one of the male strippers — “Officer Richard” — looks like just like Ponch.  Richard is credited as being played by “Angelo Bernardi.”  Seeing as how Bernardi has no other credits on the imdb other than this episode, I’m not convinced that wasn’t Erik Estrada stripping off his uniform.

Consider this to be your weekly reminder that, during the fifth seasos, CHiPs was….

From what I’ve read, Larry Wilcox left this show after the fifth season specifically because he felt Erik Estrada was getting all of the good storylines and had basically become the producer’s pet.  Watching this episode, you can see why he would be upset.  While Estrada spends the episode being chased by every woman in Los Angeles, Wilcox gets a handful of forgettable lines.

On a positive note, this episode did feature the character actor Dan Hedaya, playing someone who chronically confesses to unsolved crimes.  His character was, at least, a little interesting.  He also got more lines than Larry Wilcox in this episode which, again, perhaps explains why Jon Baker returned to Wyoming after the fifth season.

 

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.7 “Pursuit of a Wanted Felon”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988.  The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the Torello marriage falls apart.

Episode 1.7 “Pursuit of a Wanted Felon”

(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on October 28th, 1986)

Last week, a recently acquitted man named Hector (Ving Rhames) was arrested after murdering his landlord.  Torello, Danny, and David Abrams were all upset.

This week, they’ve all moved on.  Sorry, Ving Rhames, you were only a one-episode guest star.

David is pursuing his relationship with Suzanne Terry (Pam Grier).  At a cocktail party, Detective Walter Clemmons (Paul Butler), the black member of the Crime Squad, approaches Suzanne and warns her that she shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship with “that white boy.”  Seriously, this is the first time that Walter’s gotten any real dialogue since the show began and it’s basically to tell Suzanne not to pursue an interracial relationship.  “We’re only seven years out from integration,” Clemmons says, an awkward piece of dialogue that is meant to remind viewers that this show takes place in 1963.  The show actually deserves some credit for being realistic about how many people would have viewed David and Suzanne’s budding romance in 1963.  I just find it interesting that the show’s only regular black character is the one who is shown objecting while all of the white Chicago cops don’t have a problem with it.  Who knew the Chicago police force was so progressive in the early 60s?

(I really want to like Stephen Lang’s performance as David but something feels off about it.  It’s not a bad performance.  I stand by my earlier praise.  It’s just that David is such a caricature of an early 60s liberal that it is sometimes hard for me to tell if his character is supposed to be satirical or not.  In episodes like this, where David is portrayed as being a cool hipster, Lang can seem a bit stiff and miscast.  He’s much better when he’s giving an emotional speech in court.)

Luca continues to prove himself indispensable to Manny Weisbrod.  In this episode, he blows up a union leader who doesn’t want to take orders from the mob.

Finally, Mike and Julia Torello split up in this episode.  It’s not really a shock.  Mike Torello is extremely intense and obsessed with his job.  He’s tightly wound, to the point where he seems like he might just randomly shoot someone at any given moment.  An attempt to take a relaxing vacation with Julie is a disaster.  (The motel is tacky.  The service is mediocre.  Mike spends the entire time threatening the staff and complaining.)  As soon as Torello returns to Chicago, he hops on a plane for Cleveland in an unsuccessful attempt to capture Frank Holman.  When Torello returns home, he finds that Julie is preparing to go out with another man.

“You are not going to watch my TV,” Torello says, before grabbing the TV and leaving the apartment with it.

Does that scene sounds familiar?  That’s probably because Michael Mann later reused the scene, almost word-for-word, in Heat.  It’s a good scene.  It’s certainly the most memorable moment in this episode.

Otherwise, this episode felt a bit bland.  Torello’s doomed marriage isn’t really that interesting and I actually kind of got annoyed with David and Suzanne going to a cocktail party when they really should have been trying to get Hector out of prison.  I laughed at Torello’s irritation at the hotel and his line about the TV.  Those were the highlights.  The rest of this installment was forgettable.

I Watched G.I. Jane (1997, Dir. by Ridley Scott)


Demi Moore plays the first woman ever to be accepted for Navy SEAL training.  Anne Bancroft plays the senator who sponsored her but secretly wants her to fail.  Viggo Mortensen is the hardass drill sergeant who I think is secretly in love with Demi Moore even though he doesn’t admit it during the movie.  Ridley Scott directed, so the movie looks and sounds great.  Demi shaves her head and tells Viggo to “Suck my dick.”  All the other SEALS-in-training start shouting, “Suck my dick!” at each other.  It becomes their rallying cry.  That will put the fear in the hearts of America’s enemies.

When I first saw G.I. Jane, I really liked it.  I got really caught up in whether or not Demi Moore would complete her training and prove all the chauvinists wrong.  Rewatching the movie today, I realized that it was silly for me to worry about whether or not Demi Moore would become a SEAL.  Of course she does!  If she didn’t, the movie would be a real downer.  This movie was made back when Demi Moore was always cast as serious women who never laughed and who were always intense.  If they didn’t let Demi Moore become a SEAL, she would have burned down the entire Navy.

Rewatching, I still liked the movie.  Demi Moore and Viggo Mortensen having a glare-off?  Be still my beating heart!  Demi Moore wants to become a SEAL but Sen. Anne Bancroft betrays her.  So much for sisterhood!  Is the movie saying that women belong in combat but not the Senate?  It better not be!  Maybe we need a sequel where Demi Moore takes down the new Ayatollah and then runs for the Senate.

I wanted to end this review by telling you about the real first woman to complete Navy SEAL training but I discovered that hasn’t happened yet.  Hopefully, it will soon.  Demi Moore didn’t shave her head for nothing.

Brad reviews BOOTLEGGERS (1974) – #ArkansasMovies – My Celebration of Movies Filmed in the Natural State!


All my life, my Dad has told me that Roger Corman’s BLOODY MAMA (1970), which was filmed completely in Arkansas, contained scenes filmed along the beautiful white bluffs of Calico Rock, Arkansas. Dad and I watched it today, and we didn’t see any such scenes. I did some quick internet research, and it turns out my dad has been spreading misinformation all these years. He had mistaken the film for a different movie called BOOTLEGGERS (1974). It was filmed in and around the Ozark town of Calico Rock, and it was directed by B-movie maestro Charles B. Pierce (THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK, THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN). I was very happy to see that it was streaming on Amazon Prime, so I decided to give it a watch.

Set in rural Arkansas during the Prohibition era, the movie follows Othar Pruitt (Paul Koslo) and his moonshine-running buddy Dewey Crenshaw (Dennis Fimple) as they manufacture high quality moonshine whiskey and battle their local business rivals, the Woodalls, led by their vicious patriarch Rufus (Seamon Glass). When he’s not battling the Woodall’s, Othar finds time to hang out with his grandpa (Slim Pickens) and romance the tough but beautiful Sally Fannie (Jaclyn Smith, who receives an “introducing” credit). If you’ve seen many southern redneck movies, you probably know where this is all heading, but the fun is watching how it gets there!

BOOTLEGGERS is not a traditionally great movie, but there is a lot of fun to be had if you’re in the right frame of mind for some crude regional filmmaking. Director Charles B. Pierce clearly understood rural Arkansas in a way most filmmakers don’t. The dusty roads, cave-based moonshine stills, and run down old homes feel more authentic since they are actually filmed on location. I’ve been through that area many times, and he gets it right. Heck, a lot of the extras look like they wandered into the scenes straight off the local streets and fields. The print I watched looks like a really bad VHS copy, but Tak Fujimoto’s cinematography still manages to capture the beautiful nature of the area with its beautiful mountains and limestone cliffs hanging over the White River. One gripe though… the characters keep referring to the river as the Buffalo River, which is another beautiful river in Arkansas, but it is not the river in this movie. 

Another element of the film that I found interesting is the casting of Paul Koslo as the lead and good guy of the film, Othar Pruitt. Koslo almost always plays a slimy bad guy, at least he did in Charles Bronson’s 70’s films THE STONE KILLER, MR. MAJESTYK and LOVE AND BULLETS. The German born actor is actually pretty good as an Arkansas redneck, and he seems more comfortable handling the revenge sections of the film than he does the romance and comedy. 

As far as the other cast members, Dennis Fimple steals most of his scenes as Othar’s friend Dewey. He’s the goofy but lovable hillbilly friend that these types of movies almost always have. He’s fun here. I always love seeing Slim Pickens and he’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect as an old moonshiner with plenty of homespun wisdom. Jaclyn Smith, a couple of years before her CHARLIE’S ANGELS fame, has a few fun scenes as a pistol-packing local hairdresser who takes a liking to Othar. Needless to say, when she did hit it big, the producers shamelessly repackaged the film to make it seem she was much more important to the plot than she actually is. All part of the 70’s fun of trying to make a buck at the drive-in!

At the end of the day, BOOTLEGGERS isn’t as professionally made as a movie like the Arkansas set WHITE LIGHTNING with Burt Reynolds. What it is though, is a solid southern redneck film, set in a beautiful location, with good performances and a violent ending that should please its intended audience. It certainly did me! 

Villain of the Day: Gul Dukat (Star Trek : Deep Space Nine)


“A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place. To force them to acknowledge your greatness.” — Gul Dukat

Few villains in science fiction are as captivating—and repulsive—as Gul Dukat from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. From his first appearance as the smug, calculating prefect of the Cardassian occupation of Bajor, Dukat defies easy categorization. He is not a mustache-twirling tyrant who revels in evil for its own sake; rather, he genuinely believes himself to be a misunderstood hero. This self-deception is the engine of his charisma. Dukat constantly reminds anyone who will listen that he built schools and reduced labor camp sentences, conveniently omitting that he did so while overseeing the brutal subjugation of an entire species. His charm lies in his utter conviction that he is the victim of Bajoran ingratitude, a twist of logic so audacious it becomes mesmerizing to watch him rationalize atrocity.

What elevates Dukat above a simple megalomaniac is his deeply personal, almost intimate relationship with the protagonists of Deep Space Nine, particularly Commander Benjamin Sisko. Unlike the distant god-like foes of other Star Trek series, Dukat shares a border, a history, and a twisted mutual respect with Sisko. Their face-to-face confrontations crackle with tension because Dukat treats Sisko as a worthy adversary—a peer, even a friend. He craves Sisko’s acknowledgment more than any military victory. When Sisko refuses to validate his worldview, Dukat’s wounded ego curdles into obsessive hatred. This dynamic makes him unpredictable; one episode he is saving the station from a greater threat, the next he is selling out his own daughter, Ziyal, to save his career. His villainy is not abstract—it is a series of intimate betrayals that feel real and devastating.

Another key to Dukat’s magnetism is the show’s willingness to let him be competent, even admirable, in fleeting moments. He is a brilliant strategist, a cultured art lover, and possesses a dark wit that makes him genuinely entertaining. In episodes like “The Maquis, Part II,” he outmaneuvers both Starfleet and the Cardassian Central Command with ease. The series frequently teases redemption: he mourns Ziyal’s death with genuine anguish, he fights alongside the Federation against the Klingons, and he even briefly rejects his former life. Yet, each time, Dukat chooses power and self-justification over change. That tragic cycle—almost becoming better, then plunging further into evil—is what keeps viewers leaning in. We watch not hoping he will be defeated, but wondering if he will finally see himself clearly. He never does.

Dukat’s later descent into pacting with the demonic Pah-wraiths and literal religious madness has been debated by fans, yet it is a fitting culmination of his character. Stripped of his military command, his family, and his self-image as a beneficent ruler, Dukat’s narcissism finds new expression in cosmic evil. He transforms from a political villain into a metaphysical one, declaring himself a god. This shift does not erase his charisma; instead, it reveals that his charm was always a mask for an abyss of ego. Even then, he speaks in smooth, reasonable tones, offering Sisko “peace” if only he will bow. The charisma becomes sinister precisely because it never disappears—he is as persuasive as the devil, and just as hollow.

In the end, what makes Gul Dukat one of the greatest villains in television history is that he is terrifyingly human. He loves his children, believes his own lies, craves respect, and cannot bear to be seen as the monster he is. Deep Space Nine had the courage to let him win small victories, to seduce both characters and audience into almost rooting for him. And every time we feel that pull, the show reminds us: Dukat’s tragedy is not that he is evil, but that he had every opportunity to choose good and refused. His charisma is not a contradiction of his villainy—it is the very mechanism by which he, and we, excuse the inexcusable. That is why, decades later, we still cannot look away.

Villain of the Day

Film Review: The Quatermass Conclusion (dir by Piers Haggard)


1979’s The Quatermass Conclusion opens with a narrator telling us that civilization is collapsing and no one knows why.

Though the film takes place in London and the English countryside, we are told that societal collapse a worldwide phenomenon.  What we see in London is a city that has been taken over by criminal gangs, where the police stand-by helplessly and watch as battles play out.  The elderly, abandoned by their government, hide out in decrepit homes and try to avoid being noticed.  The future is a world that is pretty much ruled by the young and the young appear to be insane.

Even if one escapes the gangs, there’s still the Planet People to deal with.  The Planet People are a group of hippies, who walk across the countryside and who claim that they are going to be transported to another planet.  At first glance, they make seem innocent and even a bit ludicrous.  But they are actually aggressive and angry, convinced that the adults have destroyed the Earth and that the young are the chosen ones who will be transported to a better world.  They are led by a man who calls himself Kick Along (Ralph Arliss), an anti-Semite who smiles when he manages to find a gun and who clearly relishes getting to decide who deserves to be saved and who doesn’t.

Into all of this comes a retired scientist named Bernard Quatermass (John Mills).  Elderly and suffering from heart disease, Quatermass has come to London to search for his missing granddaughter.  Because Quatermass has spent the last few years living in the Scottish highlands and because the British government has covered-up the extent of the unrest, he is shocked to discover just how bad things have become.  Rescued from a gang by another scientist, an astronomer named Joe Kapp (Simon MacCorkindale), Quatermass finds himself watching as humanity slowly sacrifices itself to an alien presence who is not interested in saving anyone but who instead just wants to feast.

The Quatermass Conclusion started life as a 4-episode British television simply called Quatermass, which was the last to feature the character of Prof. Bernard Quatermass.  The four-hour miniseries was edited down to a 100-minute feature film that was subsequently released outside of the UK.  As a result of the editing, The Quatermass Conclusion is a occasionally intriguing, frequently messy, and almost relentlessly downbeat.  Having seen both the original miniseries and the subsequent film, I can tell you that tragedies that were evenly spaced out over the course of four hours come at you nonstop in the feature version.  It seems like every other scene features someone either dying or giving up hope.  Themes that were fully developed in the miniseries are only hinted at in the feature film.  Events that were fully explained and built-up in the miniseries seem to spring out of nowhere in the movie, giving the whole thing a disjointed but nightmarish feel.

Taken on its own, the film has its flaws.  I’m not really sure that the plot can truly be followed if you haven’t already watched the original miniseries. As the unfortunately-named Kick Along, Ralph Arliss gives a disturbingly plausible portrayal of a fascist who has adapted to the latest trend and John Mills is instantly sympathetic as the mentally strong but physically weak Prof. Quatermass but some of the other performances are definitely more appropriate for television than a film.  And yet the film has moments that work incredibly well.  A scene where the alien presence feasts on the thousands who have gathered at Wembley Stadium is undeniably well-done and brings to mind the real-life reports of political dissidents being held and executed in South American soccer stadiums.  By the end of the film, the atmosphere has become so polluted with the particles of human remains that it takes on a sickly yellow hue.  Even the film relentlessly bleak tone works.  If you’re going to make a movie about the collapse of civilization, you should definitely go all out.  There’s not much deliberate humor in The Quatermass Conclusion but, then again, there’s not much to smile about when the world’s collapsing.

Watching The Quatermass Conclusion, what struck me is just how much writer Nigel Kneale and Piers Haggard got right about the future.  On the one hand, the film is anti-youth to the point of almost feeling like a parody.  This is a movie that often seems to be shouting, “Get off my lawn!”  Watching this, one can easily guess how Nigel Kneale felt about everyone from the hippies to the punks.  However, the film’s portrayal of cities where people are scared to go out at night and of bureaucrats who would rather cover-up a problem than solve it feels rather prophetic today.  (In the miniseries, there’s a youthful government official who is overjoyed at the idea of creating an entirely new civilization after destroying the current one and it’s hard to watch him without being reminded of some of the rhetoric of the COVID lockdowns.)  It’s easy to laugh at the Planet People, with their face paint and their chanting, but they really don’t feel that far off from a lot of today’s wannabe activists.  There’s really not that much difference between the smugly ignorant Kick Along and the people who used to throw paint on works of art.

The Quatermass Conclusion is a flawed, messy, intriguing, and prophetic.  It may not be subtle but it’s a film that feel very relevant today.

 

Join #MondayMania For Seduced By A Killer!


Hi, everyone!  Tonight, on twitter, I will be hosting one of my favorite films for #MondayMania!  Join us for 2019’s Seduced By A Killer (a.k.a. Dating To Kill)!

You can find the movie on Prime and then you can join us on twitter at 9 pm central time!  (That’s 10 pm for you folks on the East Coast.)  See you then!

Scenes I Love: Scum of the Earth


Here is a scene that should be familiar to anyone who has ever watched anything from Something Weird, the infamous “you’re damaged goods and this is a fire sale!” monologue from Herschell Gordon Lewis’s 1963 expose of the Hollywood smut trade, Scum of the Earth.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Herschell Gordon Lewis Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

Today, on what would have been his birthday, the Shattered Lens remembers director Herschell Gordon Lewis.  It’s time for…..

4 Shots From 4 Herschell Gordon Lewis Films

Blood Feast (1963, dir by Herschell Gordon Lewis, DP: Herschell Gordon Lewis)

Color Me Blood Red (1965, dir by Herschell Gordon Lewis, DP: Herschell Gordon Lewis)

Something Weird (1967, dir by Herschell Gordon Lewis, DP: Andy Romanoff)

The Wizard of Gore (1970, dir by Herschell Gordon Lewis, DP: Alex Ameri and Daniel Krogh)