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Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.31 “Night Light”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, someone is stealing jewelry!

Episode 1.31 “Night Light”

(Dir by Stuart Rosenberg, originally aired on April 12th, 1958)

Casey goes undercover as a woman who is looking to purchase a stolen ruby necklace.  Her investigation leads to her to Nick Spandau (Martin Balsam), a career criminal who has recently been released from prison and who is currently working with the jeweler (Martin Wolfson) who cared for Nick’s young son (Pud Flanagan) while Nick was “away.”  To Casey’s horror, she discovers that Nick is using his innocent son as an unwitting courier, sending him to Mexico with the stolen necklace.

As you can probably guess, this episode is a showcase for the great character actor Martin Balsam, who almost makes Nick likable until it becomes apparent that he’s willing to put his own son in danger in order to protect himself.  When Nick’s son suddenly shows up at the jewelry store and announces that he couldn’t bring himself to board the plane without his father, Nick’s reaction is to wonder why his son couldn’t do the “one thing” that he was asked to do.  He’s not a great father but, when Casey tells him that his son idolizes him and will follow in his criminal footsteps, Nick makes a show of telling his son off.  It’s Nick’s way of making sure that the boy doesn’t grow up to be like him.  Casey tells us, “He sure did love his son.”  If you say so, Casey.

Overall, it’s not a bad episode.  It opens with some nice establishing shots of New York City and, unlike other episodes where Casey is mostly a bystander, it remains compelling even when Garland isn’t on screen.  Unfortunately, the acting is a bit weak from everyone not named Martin Balsam or Beverly Garland.  However, Balsam and Garland are more than capable of carrying the story on their own.

Song of the Day: The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since today is Robert Zemeckis’s birthday, today’s song of the day is an obvious one.  Here is The Power of Love, by Huey Lewis and the News!

The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling, that’s the power of love

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girl’s dream
Make a bad one good, mm, make a wrong one right
Power of love that keep you home at night

You don’t need money, don’t take fame
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
It’s strong and it’s sudden, and it’s cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life
That’s the power of love
That’s the power of love

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it, it might make you mad
But you’ll be glad, baby, when you’ve found
That’s the power makes the world go ’round

And it don’t take money, don’t take fame
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
It’s strong and it’s sudden, it can be cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life

They say that all in love is fair
Yeah, but you don’t care (ooh)
But you know what to do (what to do)
When it gets hold of you
And with a little help from above
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Can you feel it?
Hm-hm

It don’t take money, and it don’t take fame
Don’t need no credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
But you won’t feel nothin’ ’til you feel

You feel the power, just feel the power of love
That’s the power, mm, that’s the power of love
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Feel the power of love

Songwriters: Huey Lewis / John Victor Colla / Christopher John Hayes

Music Video of the Day: Shine by Walt Mink (1993, dir by Sofia Coppola)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy birthday, Sofia Coppola!

Today’s music video of the day is the first music video to have been directed by Sofia Coppola.  In fact, this may be her first directorial credit.  While the song itself is a bit generic, the video is pure Sofia Coppola.  Watching it, it’s hard not to see the same vision that, a few years later, would give us The Virgin Suicides, Somewhere, and The Bling Ring.  This video was filmed at the Coppola vineyard in Rutherford, California.

Interesting to note that the film’s editor was Spike Jonze, who would later marry Coppola in 1999 (they would get divorced in 2003) and who is thought to have been the inspiration for Giovanni Ribisi’s character in Lost In Translation.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.1 “The Bulls Own Up”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, we start season 4.

Episode 4.1 “The Bulls Own Up”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 5th, 1988)

It’s time for a new season of 1st & Ten and things have changed!

Yinessa is nowhere to be seen.  Instead, this episode features a college quarterback named Sonny Clowers (Gary Kasper) who is being courted by agent Max Green (Mark Lonow).  Also not around is Jill Schrader, the team’s owner.  She has sold the team to a fast food chain.  The new owner of the Bulls is Charles (Monte Markham).  In his first meeting with TD Parker (OJ Simpson), Charles explains that he runs a clean-cut, all-American company and he expects the Bulls to be a clean-cut, all-American team.

In other words, it’s time to trade all of the trouble makers and the drug abusers.  Charles doesn’t want a team of individuals.  He wants a team of …. well, whatever the opposite of an individual is.

TD is not happy to hear about this.  Neither is Mad Dog, who is revealed to come from a fabulously wealthy family.  Mad Dog’s father wants Mad Dog to do something that requires more skill than football.  Hmmm …. maybe Mad Dog and all the other players could form their own company and buy the team themselves?

That doesn’t really sound like a great idea to me.  How can you release or trade a player when that player owns the team?  However, TD thinks that it’s a good idea.  Zagreb thinks it’s a good idea.  And Dr. Death shows up for practice in a three-piece suit, which somehow convinces everyone else that it’s a good idea!

Why do I get the feeling that this idea will dropped after six episodes?

This was an okay season opener.  The Bulls being sold to a fast food chain certainly makes more sense than Delta Burke acquiring them in a divorce settlement.  OJ Simpson recoiling at the thought of the team being expected to avoid scandal?  That was almost to on the nose!

Finally, I can’t end this review without saying Donald Gibb, RIP.  On a show not known for great acting, Gibb was definitely the exception.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.19 and 7.20 “Hong Kong Cruise: Polly’s Poker Palace/Shop Ahoy/Double Date/The Hong Kong Affair/Two Tails of a City”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, The Love Boat goes to Hong Kong!

Episodes 7.19 and 7.20 “Hong Kong Cruise: Polly’s Poker Palace/Shop Ahoy/Double Date/The Hong Kong Affair/Two Tails of a City”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on February 4th, 1984)

This week, the Love Boat crew has been assigned to command a cruise to China.  And while the boat might be docked in Hong Kong instead of the usual Mexico, the question remains the same:

Yes, how coked up is Julie?

Well, she’s not as coked up as usual.  In fact, this is the rare Season 7 episode in which Julie actually gets to do something more than just smile at people as they board the ship.  So, I’d say this episode only rates a 7 out of 10 on the How Coked Up Is Julie scale.

As for Julie and Vicki, they fall for two brothers (Leigh McCloskey, Lee Majors II).  As always, Julie serves as Vicki’s mentor while Captain Stubing runs the ship.  However, this time, it turns out that the guy that Julie likes actually likes Vicki instead.  Vicki really likes him too.  I would point out that Vicki is likely either 16 or 17 in this episode.  (Jill Whelan was 18.)  So, really, she and Julie probably shouldn’t both be after the same man.  The guy is closer in age to Vicki than Julie but still, watching this episode, I couldn’t help but think that it might be time for Vicki to get off the boat and actually experience life on dry land.  Seriously, she’s nearly 18 and she still spends all of her time talking to elderly passengers.  Leigh McCloskey and Lee Majors II are literally the only two people close to her age to board the ship.  She really doesn’t have much choice but to fall in love with one of them.

Meanwhile, a senator (Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.) fell in love with Donna Reed, despite the misgivings of his closest advisor (Ben Murphy).  A retired spy (Gene Kelly) fell for a mysterious woman (Yvette Mimieux) and this somehow led to Gopher and Isaac putting on trench coats and following the couple through Beijing.  And Brenda Vaccaro tried to stop using her credit card.  The crew, for some reason, tried to help her.

None of these stories were very interesting, though I did relate to Brenda Vaccaro’s passenger.  This was a travelogue episode, with the boat sailing to Hong Kong and the crew somehow managing to see every famous sight in China over the course of two days.  This episode was shot on location.  I always enjoy it when I can tell the actors are actually delivering their lines in the middle of the ocean.  At the same time, the scenes that took place in China did not make me want to visit the country.  If anything, they left me feeling bad for Hong Kong.  This episode was filmed before the British handed Hong Kong over to China and it was a shame to think that all the little kids who appeared in the episode were fated to eventually become citizens of a communist country.  Needless to say, the name Mao was never mentioned during this episode.  Neither was the Cultural Revolution.

Come back to America, Captain Stubing.  The country needs you.

Brad takes on THE WHITE BUFFALO (1977), starring Charles Bronson and Will Sampson!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Charles Bronson as Wild Bill Hickok

Back in 2023, my family visited the Black Hills of South Dakota. The first thing we did was visit Mount Rushmore. The second thing we did was visit the Mount Moriah Cemetery and the final resting place of Wild Bill Hickok. Situated on the top of a hill overlooking the city of Deadwood, it’s a beautiful place that also includes the graves of Calamity Jane and Sheriff Seth Bullock. I insisted that we see the location for possibly the most superficial reason possible… because Charles Bronson played Hickok in THE WHITE BUFFALO.

Based on a novel by Richard Sale, the story opens with Hickok having a recurring nightmare of a snowy showdown with a giant white “spike.” And if he has pistols handy, he wakes up firing them uncontrollably and you’d better not be nearby. Determined to face his fear, he heads out into the hills with his friend Charlie Zane (Jack Warden), hoping to find the albino buffalo, so he can put him down and end the nightmares. Around the same time, the great beast has stampeded the camp of Crazy Horse (Will Sampson) killing his child in the process. Convinced that the child cannot have peace in the afterlife, Crazy Horse sets out to kill the buffalo so he can wrap his child in its white “robe” and free her spirit. With Hickok a prolific killer of Indians, and Crazy Horse a brave Lakota Oglala warrior, the two men seem to be on a deadly collision course in those snowy hills.

Charles Bronson’s final western, THE WHITE BUFFALO has a lot of the scenes you’d expect. With Bronson playing a famous gunman, we get to see several gunfights as he makes his way through various Wyoming towns, featuring well-known actors like Clint Walker and Ed Lauter. We also get to see him visit various saloons, as well as the widow Schermerhorn, played by Kim Novak. When he really “knew” her, she was a prostitute named Poker Jenny. Along with those I’ve already mentioned, it’s an all-star affair as we see such familiar faces as Stuart Whitman, John Carradine, Slim Pickens, and even a young Martin Kove sprinkled throughout the film. And of course, we get to see Bronson take on the gigantic white buffalo of the title, first in his dreams, and then later in reality! Directed by veteran filmmaker J. Lee Thompson, these scenes are staged and executed well, with Hickok’s nightmares given an especially eerie quality.

Will Sampson as Crazy Horse

While the movie has the expected scenes, it’s the unexpected character moments that sets THE WHITE BUFFALO apart as a uniquely strong entry in Bronson’s filmography. Hickok may be a man haunted by dreams of a monstrous white buffalo, but Bronson plays him in such a way that we can feel his exhaustion and literal sickness from too many years of a dangerous and difficult life. The buffalo is more than just an animal… it’s a symbol of guilt, fear and the coming of death itself. Bronson could always underplay a role better than just about anyone else, but here he’s reflective and haunted in way that I’ve not seen before, and he’s really good.

I also think the movie gets better every time Bronson shares a scene with Will Sampson. Sampson brings dignity and intelligence to Crazy Horse. His mission is more noble than Hickok’s, and an unexpected friendship develops between the two men, despite their vast differences. Ultimately, it’s this relationship that provides the film an emotional weight that sneaks up on you by the end, even if it’s not meant to last.

THE WHITE BUFFALO is not a perfect film. The animatronic buffalo may look a little hokey, and the film may seem a little slow at times for those expecting an action-packed western or monster movie. However, Bronson and Sampson are so good in their myth-making performances that the film eventually becomes something more. It’s the idea of watching two aging warriors, bound together through the bravery of confronting death, that I found to be more interesting and compelling than anything else on display.

THE WHITE BUFFALO is currently streaming on Amazon Prime, Tubi, PlutoTV, and The Roku Channel.

Wild Bill Hickok’s gravesite in Mount Moriah Cemetery in Deadwood, South Dakota

Villain Of The Day: Willie Cicci (The Godfather & The Godfather Part II)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Willie Cicci. Was he a villain or was he a hero?

It depends on how look at it.

Played by the legendary character actor Joe Spinell, Willie Cicci made his first appearance in The Godfather. For whatever reason, Spinell isn’t credited in The Godfather. In fact, we don’t even learn that name of his character until the sequel. Unlike Tom Rosqui’s Rocco Lampone and Richard Bright’s Al Neri, he spends the majority of the film standing in the background. However, he definitely makes an impression. With his acne-scarred face, his thin mustache, and his menacing stare, Willie Cicci is probably the menacing Corleone soldier not named Luca Brasi.

Towards the end of the film, as Michael settles all accounts, it falls on Willie Cicci to assassinate one of the heads of the rival families. Cicci traps the man in a revolving door and then guns his helpless victim down. In a finale that is notable for its violence, Cicci’s sadism leaves the viewer shaken. It’s all in the eyes. Other soldiers kill as a part of the job. Cicci seems to enjoy his work.

Later, Willie is among the soldier who stands in the background while Tom Hagen informs Tessio that he can’t get him out of trouble for old time’s sake. Willie doesn’t necessarily look happy about taking Tessio on a final ride but one gets the feeling that it’s still not going to keep him up at night.

And yet, Willie Cicci is not quite a villain in The Godfather, mostly because he works for the Corleones. By the end of the first film, it’s impossible not to cheer a little when the Corleones get their revenge. As savage as it is, they’re taking out people who tried to take them out. The Corleones may have been bad but Barzini, Cuneo, Stracci, and Tattaglia were far worse.

Willie Cicci really doesn’t achieve true villain status until The Godfather, Part II. That’s when, having been arrested after the attempt by the Rosato brothers to kill Frankie Pentangeli, Willie Cicci resurfaces as a witness at the congressional hearings on organized crime. Cicci, obviously enjoying the attention, testified about the Family’s activities. “Yeah,” he says, with a laugh, “the family had lots of buffers.”

That’s the moment that Willie truly becomes a villain. In a gangster movie, you can do a lot of bad things and still be a hero. But the minute you turn rat, it’s over.

Willie Cicci doesn’t get a lot of screentime in either Godfather movie. In The Godfather Part II, he’s even spared Michael’s vengeance. While Hyman Roth, Frankie, and Fredo Corleone all die on-screen, we never see what happened to Willie. It’s as if Michael doesn’t even consider Willie worth worrying about. For viewers, though, Willie Cicci is one of the many unforgettable characters to show up over the course of the film. A lot of Willie’s unexpected popularity is due to the memorably unhinged performance of Joe Spinell. If one was not familiar with Spinell’s other films, one might be forgiven for assuming that he was an actual mob associate who just happened to be hanging out on the set.

Willie Cicci was originally slated to appear in the third film. By this point, his character would have been one of New York’s most feared mob bosses. (I guess the whole testifying before Congress thing wasn’t held against him.) However, Spinell died before shooting began and Willie Cicci was replaced by Joey Zasa, the debonair mobster played by Joe Mantegna.

Personally, I’ll never forget Willie Cicci. He’s one of the unforgettable characters who makes The Godfather special.

Villain of the Day

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.3 “Seduced”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bicycle cops clean up Malibu.

Episode 4.3 “Seduced”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on August 9th, 1998)

Last week, I said that it appeared that the Pacific Blue recruits were no longer living in their funky loft.  Well, it turns out I was wrong.  This episode opens with Granger at the funky loft, hosting a party.  Unfortunately, the party comes to an abrupt end when Granger tries to play an adult movie on his totally hip VCR.  Uh-oh — it turns out that the lead actress in Barely Legal is the 16 year-old sister of one of Granger’s (dead) friends!

(She’s also played by Alison Lohman, a reminder that everyone had to start somewhere.)

Granger and Bobby Cruz set out to take down Malibu’s adult movie underground.  TC agrees to help by telling Jamie Strickland to go undercover as a film student who needs a job.  Strickland says that she’ll do it but she’s not going to have sex on camera.  However, once she reaches the set, the sleazy director decides to put her in the film.  Strickland calls Cory.  Cory says, “We can’t pull you out now.”

Really?  You can’t?  Why are bicycle cops even going undercover?

Meanwhile, Playpen magazine offers Monica money to pose for them.  They offer even more money if Monica can get the other women of Pacific Blue to pose as well.  Needless to say, the other women of Pacific Blue are not willing to pose and they talk about how demeaning Playpen is for women.  (Cory, who is pregnant but not showing, is at least tempted.)  But the show still features a lengthy montage of Monica’s photoshoot.  This show always tries to have it both ways.

This episode probably would have worked better if Granger was actually an interesting character but he’s not.  It also would have helped if we knew anything about Strickland’s character, beyond the fact that she’s super-competent, but we don’t.  Even the veteran characters — TC, Chris, and Cory — don’t really have any personality.  Thankfully, this season has got Mario Lopez playing Bobby Cruz like A.C. Slater on a bicycle and Shanna Moakler, playing Monica as a scheming agent of chaos.  Only Lopez and Moakler seem to to have really understood what type of show they were on.

 

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.2 “All Work No Play”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, the Gang gets a summer job!  Why would anyone want to work during the summer?  What a bunch of losers.

Episode 2.2 “All Work And No Play”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 10th, 1994)

It’s summer time!  (During its second season, Saved By The Bell: The New Class aired two episodes each Saturday morning.  One episode would be a high school episode while the other would feature the Gang off-campus.)  Mr. Belding has been hired to manage the Palisade Hills Country Club.  The first mistake that Belding makes is that he hires Screech to be his assistant.  Then he allows Screech to hire Brian, Bobby, Tommy, Rachel, Megan, and Lindsay as his staff.

Thinks quickly go downhill.

  1. While trying to show-off for Rachel, Brian attempts to drive a golf cart with his feet.  (“This is how I steered snowmobile in Switzerland,” Brian says.)
  2. Assigned to wash and wax the car belonging to club owner Ed Harrington (Frank Bonner), Tommy D and Lindsay instead take the car for a joyride, which leads to Brian denting it with the golf cart.
  3. The car has a dent and the paint job is scuffed. Tommy works out the dent and then repaints the car with Rachel’s nail polish.  To help the polish dry, Tommy and Brian remove the car’s front panel, take it to the country’s club’s kitchen. and unplug the freezer so that they can instead plug in a huge fan.
  4. Whoops!  They forget to plug the freezer back in and $4,000 worth of food goes bad.
  5. Bobby can’t drive but still tries to cover valet parking.
  6. Screech is too busy falling in love with Ed’s daughter, Allison (Clare Slastrom), to be of any help.

Mr. Belding does the right thing and fires all of them.  But then the Gang decides to throw a Luau for the club’s members (instead of the county and western barbecue that was originally planned) and it’s such a hit that Belding hires them back.

Seriously, what the Hell?  Yes, the Gang saved the day but they only had to save it because they were so grotesquely immature and irresponsible in the first place.  This was one of the worst recurring plotlines to appear on Saved By The Bell: The New Class.  Someone would get a new job, they would totally screw it up, they would get fired, and then they would get rehired just because they felt bad after the fact.  Personally, I think that if you steal a car, destroy a golf cart, and cause $4,000 worth of meat to go bad, you should be fired.  I don’t care if you then put on a hula skirt and play a ukulele and and put on a little Hawaiian performance on a sweltering day in the middle of the desert.  You’re fired.

GO HOME!

This episode annoyed the Hell out of me.  I can accept a lot from this show but what I can’t accept is a plot where every complication could have been avoided by everyone not being a massive dumbass.