Another week, another special about boy bands. I watched this 3-hour, two-part documentary on Wednesday and Thursday. Joey Fatone was one of the producers so it’s not a surprise that a major theme of the documentary was that Joey Fatone was a pretty cool guy. This show hit all the usual points — hey, there’s Lou Pealman! — without adding much new insight.
Crime Story (Tubi)
My review will drop this upcoming Monday.
Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)
My review will drop tomorrow night.
Hollywood Demons (HBOMax)
I watched two episodes. The first one was about Stephen Collins (yikes!). The second was about Jerry Springer. Now that Jerry is dead and his show is definitely never coming back, all of his producers are trying to cash in by letting you know that they were anti-Jerry the whole time. It all feels a bit self-serving.
Homicide: Life on the Street (Peacock)
My review will drop tomorrow.
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
Along with this week’s review episode (which will be dropping shortly), I also watched three Patrick Muldoon episodes on Friday. RIP.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, we finish off the first season of Baywatch.
Episode 1.21 “The End?”
(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on April 6th, 1990)
This the end, my only friend, the end….
Earthquake! The ground shakes in Los Angeles and the result is pure chaos. While Mitch oversees the rescue operations, Shauni tries to get over her fear of natural disasters, Eddie helps a pregnant woman deliver twins in his lifeguard tower, Gina finds herself pinned under a shelf at the loft, and Craig and Cort are trapped in an underwater cave. Have none of these people noticed that hanging out with Cort always leads to stuff like this happening?
We see a news report that says that five people died in the earthquake. Fortunately, none of those people were a character on Baywatch. (Though, now that I think about it, when was the last time anyone saw Trevor?) The LAPD dive team saves Cort and Craig. Hobie helps Gina get out from underneath that shelf. Eddie and Shauni work together to help deliver those twins and then, as the sun sets behind them, Eddie asks, “Will you marry me?” Shauni nods as the theme music starts up….
Was this the end? It was meant to be. After a season of declining ratings and raising production costs, NBC decided to cancel Baywatch. I guess the executives figured that, if even a shark attack failed to get people to watch, it was best just to move on. Baywatch decided to go out with an episode about an earthquake because it was a California show and California is all about the ground moving under your feet. It actually turned out to be one of the better episodes of the first season, specifically because it focused on lifeguards and other first responders doing their job. There were no silly plots about gamblers or Mitch’s love life or anything else. This was Baywatch the way it probably should have been. But it was too late to keep the show alive on network television.
That said, the Hoff believed in Baywatch and, working with the show’s producers, he brought it back in syndication. This episode was the end of Baywatch on NBC but it was just the beginning of the show that would go on to epitomize a decade.
In my quest to see every movie and TV show that Charles Bronson ever appeared in, I finally decided to take on THE MOB this morning. I’ve held off for years because this early, uncredited role as a dockworker only gives Bronson a couple of lines. He looks like a natural fixture on the docks, but his screen time only adds up to a minute or two in total.
With Bronson being little more than some temporary dockside scenery, I settled in for a story about Johnny Damico (Broderick Crawford), a tough, no-nonsense cop who’s doing some rainy night ring-shopping for his girlfriend when a man is killed just outside the store. He bungles up the whole situation, and the killer gets away. It turns out the killing was a mob hit and soon Damico is going undercover as Tim Flynn from New Orleans so he can infiltrate and bust the organized crime ring operating on the waterfront.
Broderick Crawford is so good in this role. His Damico / Flynn has a cynical sense of humor that I enjoyed. He thinks fast, he’s rough around the edges, and he even gets to slap some bad guys around a time or two. He’s one of those characters whose mouth should probably get him in more trouble. Well, now that I think about it, his mouth does almost get him killed a couple of times. Crawford and Bronson would work again together a few years later in the prison film BIG HOUSE USA (1955).
With Crawford’s performance anchoring the movie, Director Robert Parrish delivers a tight, efficient and entertaining crime story that clocks in at just under an hour and a half. One of the things that made the film enjoyable for me is the interesting and recognizable supporting cast of actors who pop up throughout the film. I’ve already mentioned Bronson, but actors like Ernest Borgnine, Neville Brand and Frank DeKova all show up to torment our undercover cop at various points throughout the film. It’s always fun for me to see a cast full of familiar faces!
At the end of the day, I enjoyed THE MOB. It doesn’t try to be anything more than a good crime film, and with Broderick Crawford’s excellent performance, it does its job well.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!
This week, we get a sequel to a previous episode.
Episode 2.10 “Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?”
(Dir by Bill Froehlich, originally aired on December 10th, 1989)
In this sequel to Bloodlines, an episode that I didn’t particularly care for, Patty Burton (Courtney Gebhart) is still locked up in the basement of the Burton home. When college student Lisa Wax (Suzanne Tara) comes over to babysit little Will Burton (Christopher Finefrok), she is not happy to learn that there is apparently a crazy woman in the basement. Lisa keeps falling asleep and having nightmares about being dragged into the basement. Then, she actually is dragged into the basement and Patty, who now looks like Lisa, escapes. By an amazing coincidence, Patty ends up at Lisa’s house, where Lisa’s mom (Sharon Farrell) assumes that Patty is Lisa. When the real Lisa manages to escape from the basement, she shows up at home and is shot and killed by her own mother. Patty then returns to her home and exiles her parents (Chris Nash and Jeannine Lewis) to the basement. The episode ends with Patty approaching Will.
Yikes!
This was a dark episode. I wouldn’t necessarily say it was scary. The scenes where Lisa (hey, that’s my name!) hears Patty in the basement are so overdone that they inspired more laughter than chills. But the idea of someone stealing your identity and then getting your own mother to shoot you because she doesn’t recognize you? That’s definitely creepy!
As for the ending …. I never liked the Burtons. I didn’t like them in Bloodlines and I didn’t like them here. I feel bad for Will but the parents? They got what they deserved.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.
Oh, Dr. Westphall, what’s got you upset this week?
Episode 3.17 “Give The Boy A Hand”
(Dir by Janet Greek, originally aired on January 23rd, 1985)
Dr. Westphall’s daughter, Lizzie (Dana Short), comes home from college. At first, Westphall is happy to have her home. So is Tommy, Westphall’s several autistic son. Still, he gets the feeling that Lizzie isn’t telling him something and we know he’s right because nothing good ever happens to Dr. Westphall. Sure enough, Lizzie’s boyfriend shows up unannounced and Westphall discovers that Lizzie is struggling in college. Lizzie reveals that she’s miserable away from home. She wants to drop out and return home so that she can take care of Tommy. Westphall tells her that’s not an option. Lizzie gets angry and goes back to school. Westphall ends up sitting in his house, alone and in the dark.
Agck! Seriously, Dr. Westphall, can you get any more depressing!?
Meanwhile, Mrs. Hufnagle is back in the hospital. When Dr. Chandler introduces himself as her new doctor, Hufnagle says that she doesn’t want him as her doctor. “May I ask why?” Chandler asks. “Because you’re colored,” comes the response. Chandler explains that he went to Yale and graduated at the top of his class. Hufnagle says that’s due to Affirmative Action. In the cafeteria, Chandler begs the other doctors to take over as Hufnagle’s doctor. “Go away!” the other doctors say. Chandler is stuck with Hufnagle and, despite her original comments, Hufnagle decides that she’s okay with that. Maybe she noticed that Dr. Chandler is played by a young Denzel Washington.
Dr. Woodley continues to treat pregnant teenager Maddy (Lycia Naff). Meanwhile, Maddy’s idiot boyfriend (Timothy Van Patten) tried to set up a drug deal that went to pieces when one of his partners overdosed and was rushed to the ER, where he subsequently died.
Finally, Ehrlich has been on the local news, presenting a daily medical commentary. However, when he tries to present a commentary about treating the disabled with respect, he tells a joke about a man who went to the hospital, had his legs accidentally amputated, tried to sue, and was told he didn’t have a leg to stand on. After the station is flooded with complaints, Ehrlich is fired. He gets the news right before he does his final commentary. Ehrlich sings I’ve Got To Be Me on the air. Later, he gets drunk and goes to the hospital, where he tells Dr. Craig that he feels like he’s forgotten what made him love being a doctor in the first place. Ehrlich thinks he should quit medicine.
“It’s too late for that,” Craig replies.
“That’s it!?” Ehrlich, who was hoping for better advice, replies.
Craig sighs and gives Ehrlich a retractor of his very own. Ehrlich thanks Craig and then makes a dumb joke.
“Just can’t help yourself,” Craig says.
The Ehrlich stuff was entertaining. Ed Begley Jr. and William Daniels make for a great team. Otherwise, this was a somewhat bland episode. How many times can we watch Dr. Westphall get depressed? Seriously, the man needs someone to tell him a good joke.
I remember the first time I ever saw the Charles Bronson western, CHINO. I was probably around 13 or 14 years old and already well known in my school for being obsessed with the actor Charles Bronson, who would have been roughly 65 years old at the time. There was this girl who I guess had a crush on me, so she invited my best friend Chad and I, along with her best friend, over to her house to watch a movie one Saturday. And the movie she chose… CHINO, AKA THE VALDEZ HORSES! I don’t think I watched the movie very close that day. CHINO was treated poorly on VHS in the 80’s, and I was more interested in the DEATH WISH 3s and MURPHY’S LAWs of the world at that time. I was also more interested in trying to make the girls laugh, which was always my main move because I was never good looking enough to smolder.
So, for many years, CHINO was nowhere near the top of my list of favorite Charles Bronson films. I watched it a few times, but I always found it hard to take seriously due to the cheap quality of the video presentation. Well in 2021, Kino Lorber released the film under THE VALDEZ HORSES title in a glorious Blu-ray. CHINO is a revelation with this new release, and I finally saw what I had been missing all these years. For the first time, I felt like I was able to watch it, and judge it, based on its own merits as a film.
CHINO opens on Jamie (15-year-old Vincent Van Patten) riding across the range as the title tune “Freedom Rainbow” plays over the credits. When he comes upon a ranch just as it’s getting dark, a tough-as-nails-looking Chino Valdez (Charles Bronson), emerges from the cabin and offers him a warm fire and a meal. Initially a little scared of Chino, Jamie is looking for work and Chino needs help, so the boy hangs around for a while. Things seem to be going well as the eager Jamie and Chino work the horses at his ranch, but soon issues start popping up. First, it’s the barbed wire that cattle baron Maral (Marcel Bozzuffi) puts up on the range that results in serious injuries for some of Chino’s wild horses. Then, it’s the fact that every time Chino goes to town for supplies, he ends up drinking, brawling, and spending a little time in jail. But those things pale in comparison to the biggest issue… Chino falls in love with the beautiful Catherine (Jill Ireland), Maral’s sister, and Maral will have no part of her falling back in love with the half breed Chino! Maral threatens to kill Chino if he doesn’t quit seeing his sister, and he means it.
Based on the award-winning 1967 novel THE VALDEZ HORSES by female author Lee Hoffman, director John Sturges crafted a movie around a role that seems tailor made for Bronson. Chino Valdez is a loner who reluctantly takes on a fatherly role towards Jamie, and then even more reluctantly falls in love with Catherine. He seemed like the kind of man who would be perfectly fine working the ranch by himself forever until Jamie rides up. A loner in real life who valued his family over anything else, who also purchased his own horse ranch in Vermont the same year of CHINO’s release, it’s hard to know where the character of Chino begins and Charles Bronson ends. This is a particularly strong performance from Bronson, one of his very best.
And you really do need to savor the film for Bronson’s incredible presence, because the film doesn’t have as much action, nor does it lead to the typical showdown that we’ve come to expect in Bronson’s movies. Chino gets into a scuffle when he goes into town, and he shoots some bad guys at the end, but this is first and foremost a character study. As a matter of fact, the film that John Sturges delivered had even less action than what we see in the final product. Disappointed in the surprising lack of action, producer Dino De Laurentiis hired director Duilio Coletti to shoot some additional action scenes for the film after Sturges had left the project. These scenes are incorporated very well into the final product, and I agree that they add value.
Without the typical Bronson action, we’re left with a perfectly cast Bronson interacting with the supporting characters in ways that are atypical for his filmography. Bronson and Vincent Van Patten work well off each other, and Van Patten is phenomenal as the teenage Jamie. I love that their relationship evolves into something meaningful as the movie progresses. Chino learns that he can trust the boy who seems to emerge as a young man right before our eyes. And then there’s the relationship between Chino and Catherine, played by Bronson’s wife Jill Ireland. Not quite as effective as the Chino / Jamie relationship, it’s still character driven and unique. Chino shows a tenderness towards her in a couple of scenes that we’re not used to seeing presented onscreen, even if one of the moments is brought on by the admittedly odd inclusion of the two watching his stud mount a beautiful wild mare. Ireland is extremely beautiful, so it’s not completely surprising that the self-sufficient Chino would fall for her. Unfortunately, while the Chino / Jamie relationship strengthens throughout the film, the Chino / Catherine relationship eventually goes the other way leading to the somewhat surprising, some might say disappointing, finale.
After watching the restored Blu-ray presentation by Kino Lorber, I can confidently say that CHINO is a good Charles Bronson film that features one of his best performances. It’s still not in my personal Bronson top ten, but if you’re a fan of Charles Bronson the actor, then this a must-watch. It’s my opinion, after having read the book and watched the movie, that no other actor could have brought the character of Chino Valdez alive in a stronger way than Charles Bronson. It was the perfect combination of actor and character, and I’ll stand by that opinion to the end.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, Hunter breaks rules and shoots people.
Episode 1.2 “Hard Contract”
(Dir by Bruce Kessler, originally aired on September 28th, 1984)
When McCall calls in sick and says that she’s taking the week off, Capt. Cain (now played by Arthur Rosenberg) assigns Hunter to work with bowtie-wearing Bernie Terwilliger. Cain sees this as an opportunity to get rid of Hunter. He tells Bernie to write down every policy that Hunter breaks throughout the day.
Terwilliger wants to spend the day tracking down whoever is leaving graffiti in the park. Hunter’s not interested in that. He wants to know what’s going on with McCall. Mostly, Hunter wants to find an excuse to draw his gun. The only thing he gets out of the trip to the park is a chance to arrest a man trying to rob a hot dog vendor. Hunter gets a hot dog, of course.
Eventually, Hunter drags Terwilliger to a bar where they discover McCall hanging out. After a bar fight, Hunter and McCall abandon Terwilliger and go after Gus (David Ackroyd), McCall’s former partner. Gus was McCall’s mentor and she’s still close to Gus and his wife. However, Gus has fallen on hard times and now, he’s looking for work as a contract killer.
The most interesting thing about this episode is that, even though Gus and McCall are old friends, they’re still totally willing to shoot each other. That seems to be a recurring theme with Hunter. Everyone likes to shoot everyone else.
I enjoyed this episode. It was very, very simple but Fred Dryer and Stepfanie Kramer got to show off their chemistry and there was plenty of humor involving poor old Bernie. Sometimes, it’s enjoyable to watch something that doesn’t require you to do much thinking and that was certainly the case here.
My wife and I were browsing around our 10 different movie apps a couple of nights ago when we came across the psychological thriller SPEAK NO EVIL on NBC’s Peacock app. I’ve always kinda liked the actor James McAvoy, at least I did in WANTED (2008), so we decided to give it a spin.
In SPEAK NO EVIL, the vacationing Dalton family, Ben (Scoot McNairy), Louise (Mackenzie Davis), and their daughter Agnes (Alix West Lefler) meet Paddy (James McAvoy), Ciara (Aisling Franciosi), and their son Ant (Dan Hough). The families hit it off instantly and have a great time together, but they soon say goodbye and go their separate ways back to their homes. A couple of months later, the Daltons receive a letter in the mail asking them to take a week to come visit their fast friends at their family farm. Needing a break from their normal routines, they decide to take Paddy & Ciara up on their offer. At first, everyone seems to be having a great time together. But it soon becomes apparent that Paddy & Ciara see the world radically different than Ben and Louise, whether it be their views on the environment, or much more powerfully and personally, their views on raising children. As the fun turns sour, the Dalton’s try to leave, but getting away from Paddy & Ciara isn’t as easy as it seems. Soon we’re learning why Ant can’t speak properly, and we’re seeing disturbing evidence that the Dalton’s aren’t the first family invited out to the farm. The question now is whether or not they’ll be the last?!!
SPEAK NO EVIL, which is based on a 2022 Danish film of the same name, opens up in a beautiful countryside paradise. I was blown away by the gorgeous Eastern European locations where the families were enjoying their vacations. The Dalton’s, more vulnerable than they might first appear, are taken in by the outgoing and free-spirited Paddy and Ciara. Even after they’ve gone back to their normal lives, they seem to miss the excitement that their vacation friends brought to their lives. Their vulnerability leads to a terribly shortsighted decision to spend a week at the secluded farm of a couple they barely know. While we might question their decision-making skills, I think that most of us would agree that many of our very worst decisions come from positions of weakness and vulnerability. The Daltons will most certainly soon come to regret their decision.
I was interested in watching SPEAK NO EVIL because I like psycho thrillers and James McAvoy. As far as I’m concerned, neither disappointed. This film spends the first 90% of its run-time slowly tightening its grip on us viewers prior to unleashing hell over the last 10%. McAvoy is both creepy, powerful and evil as Paddy. When we finally see him snap, we’re not terribly surprised based on his gradually more depraved behavior witnessed earlier in the film. Scoot McNairy is good in the film, even though his Ben Dalton comes across as a relatively weak husband and dad most of the time. The truth is, he’s like most normal people would be if we found ourselves in this situation. And Mackenzie Davis is good as Louise Dalton, although there are a few times when she behaves in ways that undermines her character’s perceived intelligence in order to keep the plot moving along. The children characters end up having meaningful roles in the resolution of the film, and the child actors do a fine job, which is not always the case. At the end of the day, SPEAK NO EVIL doesn’t feel like the most original of films, but I think the director and actors tell a familiar, thrilling story quite well.
The last thing I’m going to say is that I’ve never seen the original 2022 Danish film that SPEAK NO EVIL (2024) is based on. I understand that its resolution is much, much different than this version. I do plan on watching it soon, as it’s currently playing on Tubi. Regardless of how I end up feeling about the original, my wife and I watched this 2024 version and enjoyed it. No later viewing of the source material can take that away.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958. The show can be viewed on Tubi!
Episode 1.28 “Ladies Man”
(Dir by Stuart Rosenberg, originally aired on April 21st, 1958)
A man named (Michael Tolan) approaches Pearl Dillard (Chris Kane) at a subway station and gives her a box that he claims is an x-ray camera. The man claims to be an insurance investigator and he says that he’s pursuing a woman (Lois Nettleton) who has stolen some diamonds. He says that he needs Pearl to take a picture of the woman. Because it’s an X-ray camera, it will reveal that she has the diamonds on her. While the woman waits for her train, Pearl points the box at her and pushes a button. However, it turns out that the box is not hiding a camera but a gun! Pearl shoots the woman in the back.
The woman is named Lois and the man was her husband, Mike. The police get a tip that Mike is hiding out at an upstate hunting lodge. Casey, who pretends to be a lost tourist, heads up to the lodge. Mike is indeed there. With Mike is his new girlfriend (Joan Harvey), who refuses to believe that Mike could have done anything wrong.
This episode was a bit more melodramatic than the typical episode of Decoy. I found it hard to believe that anyone would fall for Mike’s camera-box lie but I guess there are probably people out there who would be naive enough to believe him. (I might accept the box from Mike but I would throw it away the first chance I got.) Unfortunately, once Casey tracked Mike down, Michael Tolan’s performance was so over-the-top that it became difficult to take him or the episode seriously.
Decoy worked better as a low-key, melancholiac show. I usually love melodrama but this episode didn’t work for me.
Through the Shattered Lens 