Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.18 “Any Portrait In A Storm”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, it’s a stormy episode!

Episode 3.18 “Any Portrait In A Storm”

(Dir by Leo Penn, originally aired on January 30th, 1985)

As a rain storm rages outside, the drama inside St. Eligius continues.

Dr. Auschlander cancels the grand unveiling of his portrait, saying that he doesn’t feel worthy of the attention and also admitting to Westphall that the whole thing not only makes him feel old but also reminds him that he’s dying.  Westphall’s response is to nod glumly because Westphall is the most depressed man on the planet.  Auschlander is dying of liver cancer and he still manages to usually be more cheerful than Westphall.  Even this episode ends with Auschlander in a good mood.  He finally looks at his portrait and discovers that he likes it.  Plus, Luther tells Auschlander how important he is to him and the other workers at the hospital.

While Auschlander feels his age and Westphall sadly stares at the ceiling, Dr. Ehrlich makes an effort to be more polite and fails completely.  Ms. Hufnagle argues about her hospital bill.  In an amusing moment, Warren spots Dean (Tim Van Patten) getting on an elevator and shouts, “Salami!”  Before St. Elsewhere, Byron Stewart (who played Warren) and Van Patten starred together on a show called The White Shadow.  Stewart played Warren, the same character that he plays on St. Elsewhere.  Van Patten played someone named Salami.  What makes the scene especially humorous is that Dean hesitates before saying, “You got the wrong guy,” as if he somehow remembers being a different character on another show.

Dean is at the hospital to tell his pregnant girlfriend that, despite the fact that she’s currently in labor, he’s leaving Boston for Florida so he can set up a drug deal.  Both Dean’s girlfriend, Maddy (Lycia Naff), and Peter White’s widow, Myra (Karen Landry), give birth in this episode.  Tragically, Maddy’s daughter dies.  Myra has a son, who survives and who she names Peter.  Afterwards, she receives an anonymous present — a little ski mask, identical in every way but size to the one that her late husband used to wear while he was terrorizing the hospital.

This was not a bad episode.  The rain served as a good (if perhaps too obvious) metaphor for the drama happening inside the hospital.  A good deal of this episode centered around Dr. Woodley trying to get Maddy to accept some help and get Dean out of her life.  The problem is that this is only Dr. Woodley’s third or fourth episode and, as a result, I still don’t feel like I know much about the character.  Having her suddenly take center stage for this episode felt a bit premature.  Still, Norman Lloyd’s performance as Dr. Auschlander and the scene were Dr. Craig realizes that he left his lights on when he got out of his car kept things watchable, occasionally humorous, and, in the end, rather poignant.  Sometimes, Dr. Asuchlander could be almost too good to be true but Norman Lloyd’s performance always sold every moment.  That was certainly the case here.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.17 “Give The Boy A Hand”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

Oh, Dr. Westphall, what’s got you upset this week?

Episode 3.17 “Give The Boy A Hand”

(Dir by Janet Greek, originally aired on January 23rd, 1985)

Dr. Westphall’s daughter, Lizzie (Dana Short), comes home from college.  At first, Westphall is happy to have her home.  So is Tommy, Westphall’s several autistic son.  Still, he gets the feeling that Lizzie isn’t telling him something and we know he’s right because nothing good ever happens to Dr. Westphall.  Sure enough, Lizzie’s boyfriend shows up unannounced and Westphall discovers that Lizzie is struggling in college.  Lizzie reveals that she’s miserable away from home.  She wants to drop out and return home so that she can take care of Tommy.  Westphall tells her that’s not an option.  Lizzie gets angry and goes back to school.  Westphall ends up sitting in his house, alone and in the dark.

Agck!  Seriously, Dr. Westphall, can you get any more depressing!?

Meanwhile, Mrs. Hufnagle is back in the hospital.  When Dr. Chandler introduces himself as her new doctor, Hufnagle says that she doesn’t want him as her doctor.  “May I ask why?” Chandler asks.  “Because you’re colored,” comes the response.  Chandler explains that he went to Yale and graduated at the top of his class.  Hufnagle says that’s due to Affirmative Action.  In the cafeteria, Chandler begs the other doctors to take over as Hufnagle’s doctor.  “Go away!” the other doctors say.  Chandler is stuck with Hufnagle and, despite her original comments, Hufnagle decides that she’s okay with that.  Maybe she noticed that Dr. Chandler is played by a young Denzel Washington.

Dr. Woodley continues to treat pregnant teenager Maddy (Lycia Naff).  Meanwhile, Maddy’s idiot boyfriend (Timothy Van Patten) tried to set up a drug deal that went to pieces when one of his partners overdosed and was rushed to the ER, where he subsequently died.

Finally, Ehrlich has been on the local news, presenting a daily medical commentary.  However, when he tries to present a commentary about treating the disabled with respect, he tells a joke about a man who went to the hospital, had his legs accidentally amputated, tried to sue, and was told he didn’t have a leg to stand on.  After the station is flooded with complaints, Ehrlich is fired.  He gets the news right before he does his final commentary.  Ehrlich sings I’ve Got To Be Me on the air.  Later, he gets drunk and goes to the hospital, where he tells Dr. Craig that he feels like he’s forgotten what made him love being a doctor in the first place.  Ehrlich thinks he should quit medicine.

“It’s too late for that,” Craig replies.

“That’s it!?” Ehrlich, who was hoping for better advice, replies.

Craig sighs and gives Ehrlich a retractor of his very own.  Ehrlich thanks Craig and then makes a dumb joke.

“Just can’t help yourself,” Craig says.

The Ehrlich stuff was entertaining.  Ed Begley Jr. and William Daniels make for a great team.  Otherwise, this was a somewhat bland episode.  How many times can we watch Dr. Westphall get depressed?  Seriously, the man needs someone to tell him a good joke.

Paging Dr. Ehrlich….