Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.18 “Any Portrait In A Storm”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, it’s a stormy episode!

Episode 3.18 “Any Portrait In A Storm”

(Dir by Leo Penn, originally aired on January 30th, 1985)

As a rain storm rages outside, the drama inside St. Eligius continues.

Dr. Auschlander cancels the grand unveiling of his portrait, saying that he doesn’t feel worthy of the attention and also admitting to Westphall that the whole thing not only makes him feel old but also reminds him that he’s dying.  Westphall’s response is to nod glumly because Westphall is the most depressed man on the planet.  Auschlander is dying of liver cancer and he still manages to usually be more cheerful than Westphall.  Even this episode ends with Auschlander in a good mood.  He finally looks at his portrait and discovers that he likes it.  Plus, Luther tells Auschlander how important he is to him and the other workers at the hospital.

While Auschlander feels his age and Westphall sadly stares at the ceiling, Dr. Ehrlich makes an effort to be more polite and fails completely.  Ms. Hufnagle argues about her hospital bill.  In an amusing moment, Warren spots Dean (Tim Van Patten) getting on an elevator and shouts, “Salami!”  Before St. Elsewhere, Byron Stewart (who played Warren) and Van Patten starred together on a show called The White Shadow.  Stewart played Warren, the same character that he plays on St. Elsewhere.  Van Patten played someone named Salami.  What makes the scene especially humorous is that Dean hesitates before saying, “You got the wrong guy,” as if he somehow remembers being a different character on another show.

Dean is at the hospital to tell his pregnant girlfriend that, despite the fact that she’s currently in labor, he’s leaving Boston for Florida so he can set up a drug deal.  Both Dean’s girlfriend, Maddy (Lycia Naff), and Peter White’s widow, Myra (Karen Landry), give birth in this episode.  Tragically, Maddy’s daughter dies.  Myra has a son, who survives and who she names Peter.  Afterwards, she receives an anonymous present — a little ski mask, identical in every way but size to the one that her late husband used to wear while he was terrorizing the hospital.

This was not a bad episode.  The rain served as a good (if perhaps too obvious) metaphor for the drama happening inside the hospital.  A good deal of this episode centered around Dr. Woodley trying to get Maddy to accept some help and get Dean out of her life.  The problem is that this is only Dr. Woodley’s third or fourth episode and, as a result, I still don’t feel like I know much about the character.  Having her suddenly take center stage for this episode felt a bit premature.  Still, Norman Lloyd’s performance as Dr. Auschlander and the scene were Dr. Craig realizes that he left his lights on when he got out of his car kept things watchable, occasionally humorous, and, in the end, rather poignant.  Sometimes, Dr. Asuchlander could be almost too good to be true but Norman Lloyd’s performance always sold every moment.  That was certainly the case here.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.17 “Give The Boy A Hand”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

Oh, Dr. Westphall, what’s got you upset this week?

Episode 3.17 “Give The Boy A Hand”

(Dir by Janet Greek, originally aired on January 23rd, 1985)

Dr. Westphall’s daughter, Lizzie (Dana Short), comes home from college.  At first, Westphall is happy to have her home.  So is Tommy, Westphall’s several autistic son.  Still, he gets the feeling that Lizzie isn’t telling him something and we know he’s right because nothing good ever happens to Dr. Westphall.  Sure enough, Lizzie’s boyfriend shows up unannounced and Westphall discovers that Lizzie is struggling in college.  Lizzie reveals that she’s miserable away from home.  She wants to drop out and return home so that she can take care of Tommy.  Westphall tells her that’s not an option.  Lizzie gets angry and goes back to school.  Westphall ends up sitting in his house, alone and in the dark.

Agck!  Seriously, Dr. Westphall, can you get any more depressing!?

Meanwhile, Mrs. Hufnagle is back in the hospital.  When Dr. Chandler introduces himself as her new doctor, Hufnagle says that she doesn’t want him as her doctor.  “May I ask why?” Chandler asks.  “Because you’re colored,” comes the response.  Chandler explains that he went to Yale and graduated at the top of his class.  Hufnagle says that’s due to Affirmative Action.  In the cafeteria, Chandler begs the other doctors to take over as Hufnagle’s doctor.  “Go away!” the other doctors say.  Chandler is stuck with Hufnagle and, despite her original comments, Hufnagle decides that she’s okay with that.  Maybe she noticed that Dr. Chandler is played by a young Denzel Washington.

Dr. Woodley continues to treat pregnant teenager Maddy (Lycia Naff).  Meanwhile, Maddy’s idiot boyfriend (Timothy Van Patten) tried to set up a drug deal that went to pieces when one of his partners overdosed and was rushed to the ER, where he subsequently died.

Finally, Ehrlich has been on the local news, presenting a daily medical commentary.  However, when he tries to present a commentary about treating the disabled with respect, he tells a joke about a man who went to the hospital, had his legs accidentally amputated, tried to sue, and was told he didn’t have a leg to stand on.  After the station is flooded with complaints, Ehrlich is fired.  He gets the news right before he does his final commentary.  Ehrlich sings I’ve Got To Be Me on the air.  Later, he gets drunk and goes to the hospital, where he tells Dr. Craig that he feels like he’s forgotten what made him love being a doctor in the first place.  Ehrlich thinks he should quit medicine.

“It’s too late for that,” Craig replies.

“That’s it!?” Ehrlich, who was hoping for better advice, replies.

Craig sighs and gives Ehrlich a retractor of his very own.  Ehrlich thanks Craig and then makes a dumb joke.

“Just can’t help yourself,” Craig says.

The Ehrlich stuff was entertaining.  Ed Begley Jr. and William Daniels make for a great team.  Otherwise, this was a somewhat bland episode.  How many times can we watch Dr. Westphall get depressed?  Seriously, the man needs someone to tell him a good joke.

Paging Dr. Ehrlich….

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.16 “Saving Face”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, things continue to be awkward in Boston.

Episode 3.16 “Saving Face”

(Dir by Charles Braverman, originally aired on January 16th, 1985)

This episode of St. Elsewhere was even busier than usual.

  • Tough-as-nails Dr. Mary Woodley (Karen Austin) has been hired to oversee the ER.  Dr. Fiscus isn’t happy about it.  He’s going to have to work for a woman?  Agck!
  • Dr. Cavanero is also not happy.  Of course, the last time that St. Eligius hired a new female doctor, Cavanero told everyone at the hospital that she was a lesbian and, for some reason, this led to the doctor having to leave town.  (It was the 80s.)  Maybe, just maybe, there are reasons to have doubts about Cavanero’s professionalism.
  • Dr. Westphall shows Dr. Woodley around the hospital and, as usual, comes across as being the saddest man on the planet.
  • Dr. Westphall informs Jack that he will be allowed to continue on as a resident.  However, Westphall also rather glumly states that he will be watching Jack from now on.  Jack better not screw up or Westphall will “come down” on him.  Personally, I think Westphall is too depressed to really do much of anything.
  • Feeling guilty about Murray’s death, Elliott brings Mrs. Hufnagle a ham.  Mrs. Hufnagle has an allergic reaction and ends up back in the hospital.  “She thinks I tried to kill her!” Elliott says.
  • A teenager (Tim Van Patten) brings in his pregnant girlfriend, who has OD’d.  Dr. Woodley says she is required to call family services.  Myself, I started shouting, “I am da futah!” as soon as Tim “Stegman” Van Patten showed up on the screen.
  • Dr. Caldwell performs extensive plastic surgery on a disfigured young woman.  When Dr. Ehrlich says that the patient looks like she got hit with the “ugly stick,” Caldwell kicks Ehrlich off his team.
  • Nobody wants to work with Ehrlich!  Dr. Craig declines to invite Ehrlich to his 34 year anniversary party.  Cavanero agrees to take Ehrlich as her date.  “What are you doing here!?” Craig snaps as soon as he sees Ehrlich in his living room.
  • Dr. Craig’s younger brother, William (Lou Richards), also shows up.  He was invited at Ellen’s insistence, despite the fact that William and Mark haven’t spoken in over four years.  Mark feels that William has wasted his life and his potential.  But when William proves to be the life of the party, it becomes apparent that Mark is actually jealous of how likable his younger brother is.
  • In the kitchen, Mark and William have a long conversation.  William admits that he’s struggling to pay the bills.  Mark writes him a check.  For a few minutes, the brothers actually reconcile.
  • However, Mark later hears William joking about how much money surgeon’s make and he loses his temper.  In front of the entire party, he calls out William and reveals that he doesn’t have a dime to his name.
  • That night, after everyone else has left and William has gone to the guest room, Ellen tells Mark that he should apologize.  Mark agrees and says he’ll do it in the morning.
  • Later, during the night, Mark steps out of his bedroom and discovers that William has gone home.  He left behind the check, which he ripped in half.  Mark stares at the check and starts to cry.

This was another episode that did a good job balancing the serious and the humorous.  Dr. Ehrlich’s inability to say the right thing will never not be funny.  For that matter, the same can be said of Dr. Craig’s general irritation with everything.  And yet, seeing Dr. Craig break down and cry was truly heartbreaking.  Dr. Craig and Dr. Ehrlich share an inability to socialize and a habit of screwing up even the kindest of gestures.  Even when they try to do the right thing, they somehow always manage to screw it up.

I wanted to cry for all of them.