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Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 1.12 “The Avenging Angel”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, someone wants to help out Hunter!

Episode 1.12 “The Avenging Angel”

(Dir by James Whitmore, Jr., originally aired on January 18th, 1985)

After Hunter receives an anonymous phone tip, he arrests Dr. Pierpoint (Angus Duncan) for attempting to hire a criminal known as “The Rat” to kill his wife.  When Hunter makes the arrest, he actually has to Mirandize him twice because the doctor was unconscious the first time that Hunter read him his rights.  Oh, Hunter!

Unfortunately, things fall apart at trial.  The Rat (Robert Pastorelli, whose career later fell apart after the mysterious death of his girlfriend) changes his testimony at the last minute and says that Pierpoint never hired him to kill his wife.  The case is dismissed.  Hunter is upset.  Even more upset is Arnold Morton (Robert Gray), a surveillance expert who idolizes Hunter and who makes it his mission to take down not just Pierpoint and the Rat but also defense attorney Nell Armstong (Nancy Stafford).

This was an interesting episode.  The story didn’t quite work but the idea behind it was intriguing.  Morton, who has bugged Hunter and has been following him for weeks, considers himself to be Hunter’s avenging angel.  When Hunter makes it clear that he’s not cool with the whole vigilante thing, Morton turns on him like a lover scorned.  This is like Hunter’s version of Magnum Force.

As for McCall, she spends most of this episode just trying to go on a date with her latest boyfriend, Ted (Rod Haase).  Unfortunately, Hunter keeps interrupting.  Ted is a nice guy about it but it’s pretty obvious that McCall and Hunter are meant to be together.

The highlight of this episode?  Hunter destroying his phone while searching for a bug.  In the role of Captain Dolan, John Amos got to do his whole, “Hunter, what the Hell are you doing!?” thing.  That’s always entertaining.

As I said, the episode didn’t quite work.  I never really bought that Arnold could do everything that he managed to do in this episode.  I mean, for someone who lived in an abandoned arcade and drove a broken-down van, Arnold seemed to have unlimited resources.  I will give a shout out to the show’s art department for including a poster of Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2 in Arnold’s office.

It’s always funny to me how, in every episode, Hunter has got someone trying to kill him and no one but McCall seems to care.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.38 “First Arrest”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, it’s the next-to-last episode Decoy!

Episode 1.38 “First Arrest”

(Dir by Arthur H. Singer, originally aired on June 30th, 1958)

Casey meets with a new, rookie policewoman (Ellen Madison) at Coney Island.  The rookie just made her first arrest and is now in tears because she’s worried that she’s ruined someone’s life.  Casey tells the story of her first assignment and what it was like to make her first arrest.

Flashback time!

The NYPD believes that a fencing operation is being run out of a Coney Island carnival sideshow.  Young and eager, Casey gets a job as an exotic dancer at the carnival.  (Calm down, boys.  She wears one of the least-revealing costumes of all time.)  Shy and insecure Willie Graff (Joshua Shelley) develops a crush on Casey.  Casey, suspecting that Willie is the fence, plays along but she starts to feel guilty as she realizes that Willie isn’t some sort of dangerous criminal.  He’s just a down-on-his-luck guy who is cutting a few corners.  He even introduces Casey to his mother (Ruth McDevitt).

When Willie gives Casey a diamond necklace, she assumes that it must be stolen but it turns out that it’s his mother’s necklace and that Mrs. Graff wants Casey to have it.  Casey is actually relieved because it seems like Willie isn’t the fence that she’s looking for.  However, then Willie gives her a mink coat and admits that he bought it from someone who had stolen it.  Though saddened, Casey forces herself to arrest Willie.

In the present, Casey assures the rookie that she will soon get used to arresting people and she won’t care about them anymore.  Yikes!

As you may have guessed, I didn’t really care much for this episode.  That idea of Casey being someone who doesn’t care about the people who she arrests pretty much goes totally against everything we’ve seen over the past 37 episodes.  The thing that always set Casey apart was that she does care.  She has to do her job but she also understands that sometimes, people just make mistakes.  Unless it’s case in which she was threatened, Casey usually doesn’t take any joy in slapping the handcuffs on someone.

As much as I hate to say it, Beverly Garland is not particularly convincing in the flashback scenes.  Young Casey is written as being continually breathless and unsure of herself.  There’s nothing about Beverly Garland’s screen presence that suggests insecurity.

This was a disappointing episode.  Next week, we’ll be finishing up Decoy and I hope it goes out on a better note than this.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.8 “Injustice For All”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Oh my, this epiosde.

Episode 4.8 “Injustice For All”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 23rd, 1988)

The Bulls narrowly win a game against Texas’s team when Coach Denardo decides to give the ball not to usual running back but instead to Bubba Kincaid.  Bubba is pronounced the hero of the game, which makes Jethro jealous.  During the next game, when Denardo tries to pull off the same play, Bubba insists that the ball should be given to Jethro.  Jethro fumbles the ball and Bubba falls on it, scoring once again for the Bulls.  Afterwards, Bubba assures the press that Jethro was supposed to fumble and that Jethro is actually the hero of the game.  That’s  nice!

Less nice is what happens when the press talks to Coach Denardo.  When asked whether or not he thought Texas lost because they had a black quarterback, he shrugs and says, “Maybe.  Blacks have excelled at every other position in the game.  Eventually, they’ll excel as quarterbacks.”  Denardo is branded a racist.  He insists that his words were taken out of context.

Personally …. I don’t know, it all sounds pretty racist to me.  The question was definitely racist.  Denardo wasn’t asked if he felt Texas lost because their quarterback didn’t play well.  Instead, he was specifically asked if Texas lost because their quarterback was black.  Then, Denardo’s answer is that apparently blacks are not good quarterbacks right now but they will be someday.  How is that not racist?  Denardo (and the reporter) are taking an individual player, considering nothing about him beyond his race, and then saying that’s why his team lost.  All Denardo had to say was that the quarterback struggled, just as many white quarterbacks have struggled.  Denardo could have just said, “Race doesn’t have anything to do with it.”  Instead …. well, you get the idea.

The Dobbs Corporation, which now owns the Bulls, has recently had to settle a lawsuit about their discriminatory employment practices.  Executive Michal Westwood (Paul Tuerpe) wants Denardo fired and really, Denardo probably should be fired.  But TD Parker (OJ Simpson) tries to play peacemaker.  He tells Denardo that it would help if he apologized.

“TD,” Denardo says, “I’ve got white friends and I’ve got black friends.  But if you don’t drop this, I might have one less black friend.”

And then, presumably, Denardo complimented TD for being articulate.

Meanwhile, Dr. Death’s attempt to have a one night stand with a biker chick (Beth Broderick …. wait a minute, Aunt Zelda!?) comes to an end when he meets her son and discovers that the kid is being abused by his mother’s other boyfriend.  Dr. Death takes the kid under his wing and then beats up the abuser.  Yay!  Seriously, this whole episode should have just been Dr. Death beating up that guy.

And Denardo really should have been fired.

Brad reviews BODY COUNT (1995), starring Robert Davi, Sonny Chiba, and Jan-Michael Vincent!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

In honor of Jan-Michael Vincent’s 81st birthday up there in cinema heaven, I searched Tubi to see if there were any of his films streaming that looked interesting. I came across this low-budget action movie named BODY COUNT, which apparently has also been known as CODENAME: THE SILENCER based on the poster I share above! What caught my attention is the solid B-movie cast that the film had assembled. Aside from Vincent, you also had Robert Davi, Sonny Chiba, Steven Bauer, and Brigitte Nielsen. For a guy who spent a lot of time at video rental stores in the 80’s and 90’s, I decided this movie was something I needed to investigate!

The story follows Detective Eddie Cook (Davi) and his partner Vinnie Rizzo (Bauer). After spending eight years trying to bust a couple of mobsters named the Gianelli brothers, one night the gangsters are assassinated by a hitman named Makato, played by Japanese action legend Sonny Chiba. Cook and Rizzo somehow manage to nab Makato and send him to prison. 1 year, 6 months, and 21 days later, with the help of his extremely tall and shapely partner in crime, Sybil (Brigitte Nielsen), Makato breaks out with nothing but revenge on his mind against the cops who put him behind bars.

I’m not going to sit here and pretend that BODY COUNT is some kind of forgotten gem. Because it’s not. For those that remember the era, it has the unmistakable look and feel of a mid-90s direct-to-video action film. The dialogue is awkward, the pacing is uneven at best, and there couldn’t have been much in the budget, but there’s still some nostalgic fun to be had in watching all those action veterans share the screen in the city of New Orleans, one of my favorite movie towns!

As far as the action, there are definitely some good scenes… the movie opens with one of those scenes where a guy walks away from a car in slow-mo and lights a cigar, while the car behind him explodes. That was cool! The scene where the cops confront the Chiba in a strip club, with the ensuing chase by foot spilling into the surrounding shops and rooftops was a lot of fun. The scene where Nielsen shows up to Chiba’s chain gang wearing a revealing shirt and daisy dukes and then proceeds to bust him out of prison was fun. There’s a scene where Davi is in hot pursuit of the bad guys, while hanging off of a Ryder moving truck, that eventually leads to a school bus flipping and exploding, and to be honest, it’s never made clear if a whole bunch of kids just died or not. The final scene involves runaway trolley cars. The action isn’t all perfectly handled, but there’s definitely enough here to bring a smile to your face… as long as you convince yourself that no one was on the bus!

Robert Davi is pretty good in the lead role as Detective Eddie Cook. After years of always playing supporting roles, usually as a bad guy, this had to be fun for him. He even gets to make love to his beautiful co-worker, special agent Janet Hood (Cindy Ambuehl). He takes full advantage of the scene by literally sucking on her toes, which I find somewhat awkward. Sonny Chiba looks great as the bad guy, convincingly killing with both rifles and swords. He may not speak the greatest English, but he doesn’t really have to, as he owns every scene he’s in with his charisma and intensity. The rest of the cast is fine as long as you don’t expect too much. Nielsen and Ambuehl both look great and engage in a pretty nice catfight at the end. I mentioned earlier that I watched the film in honor of Jan-Michael Vincent’s birthday. (Spoiler Alert) He doesn’t have that much screen time, and he gets pushed from a tall building about halfway through the movie and splats. I’m just saying don’t watch this if your enjoyment requires JMV to be the hero.  

At the end of the day, if you enjoy low budget action movies of the direct-to-video era, filled with lots of familiar faces, you just may have some fun with this one. It’s cheesy at times and unintentionally funny at others, but it also offers some game performances and crazy action. There are times when that’s just what I need!   

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.1 The Crew’s Cruise Director/What a Drag/Doc’s Slump

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, it’s time to start season 8!

Episode 8.1 “The Crew’s Cruise Director/What a Drag/Doc’s Slump”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on September 22nd, 1984)

The season starts with the Captain gathering the crew  — including Ace, your ship’s photographer! — in his cabin and telling them that Julie will not be joining them on their next cruise.  Or any other cruise for that matter.  Julie has eloped will never be seen again.  (In real life, Lauren Tewes was struggling with a cocaine addiction and was fired after the seventh season.)  Everyone drinks a toast to Julie, even Captain Stubing who has previously been established as a recovering alcoholic.

The new cruise director is Bernice Bronson (Diane Ladd), who is oddly abrasive and doesn’t seem to care about keeping any of the passengers happy.  Seriously, why is this woman a cruise director?  I understand that The Love Boat had corporate sponsorship so I have to wonder how the actual executives at Princess Cruise Line felt about one of their employees being portrayed as being so incompetent at her job.  Fortunately, Julie’s sister — Judy McCoy (Pat Klous) — is also on the cruise.  A former cruise director herself (who, we’re told, taught Julie everything she knew), Judy takes it upon herself to cover for Bernice.

This week’s cruise is an all women’s cruise to Alaska.  Along with going to the coldest place on Earth, the passengers also get to have a pajama party in the ship’s lounge and one of them will win a date with sexy singing sensation (snicker) Engelbert Humperdinck.  Engelbert only appears briefly in this episode, which is good because I misspell his name every time I try to write about him.

Doc’s new girlfriend, Emily (Michelle Phillips), is not amused that Doc is on a boat full of women.  She knows that Doc has a reputation and a history.  Ace and Gopher take it upon themselves to try to convince Emily not to leave Doc.  Doc just looks exhausted in this episode.

Emily really should put the blame on publicist Jane Fletcher (Patty Duke).  Jane’s the one who came up with the idea for the cruise and also the contest to win a date with the singer whose name I can’t spell.  Jane’s husband (Bert Convy) and his best friend (Arte Johnson) decide to disguise themselves as women and sneak on board.  Jane immediately recognizes her bathrobe at the pajama party so she pretends to be in love with Captain Stubing in order to make her husband jealous.  Meanwhile, Bernice falls in love with the husband’s friend and she quits her job.

OH MY GOD — THE CRUISE IS WITHOUT A CRUISE DIRECTOR!

Well, don’t worry.  The Captain offers the job to Judy and Judy accepts.

This episode was …. well, it was okay.  It felt strange not having Julie aboard but Judy seems like she’ll be a good replacement and I’m also happy that Ted McGinley is now a permanent member of the crew.  Personally, I would love to have a pajama party on a cruise ship.  That said, Jane should have divorced her idiot husband and Doc really should do something about this midlife crisis that he’s been having for the last eight years.

I’m looking forward to this new season, though.  Love is still exciting and new.

Scenes That I Love: Jack Meets Lloyd in The Shining

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The scene below is, of course, from Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 masterpiece, The Shining.

In this scene, Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) stumbles into the Overlook Hotel’s ballroom, still fuming over having been accused of abusing his son.  A recovering alcoholic, Jack sits at the bar and thinks about how he would give up his soul for just one one drink.  And, on cue, Lloyd (Joe Turkel) appears.

As I was watching this scene, it occurred to me that, way back in 1980, there probably was some guy named Lloyd who saw this movie in a theater and was probably totally shocked when Jack suddenly stared straight at him and said, “Hey, Lloyd.”

The brilliance of this scene is that we never actually see Lloyd materialize.  We see him only after Jack has seen him.  So, yes, Lloyd could be a ghost.  But he could also just be a figment of Jack’s imagination.  Jack very well could just be suffering from cabin fever.  Of course, by the end of the movie, we learn the truth.

Everyone always talks about Jack Nicholson’s performance as Jack.  Some people love it and some people hate it.  (I’m in the first camp.)  However, let’s take a minute to appreciate just how totally creepy Joe Turkel is in this scene.  Turkel was a veteran character actor and had appeared in two previous Kubrick films, The Killing and Paths of Glory.  Two years after appearing in The Shining, Turkel played what may be his best-known role, Dr. Eldon Tyrell in Blade Runner.  Today, incidentally, would have been Joe Turkel’s 99th birthday.

From Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, here’s Jack Nicholson and Joe Turkel:

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.10 “Thrill Week”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the local college fraternity is out of control and somehow, it’s up to the bicycle patrol to restore order to the campus.

Episode 4.10 “Thrill Week”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on November 29th, 1998)

It’s rush week, which means that the beach is full of drunk college students.  Fortunately, the bike patrol is there to keep the peace.  Bobby Cruz is upset when he discovers that his teenager sister, Teresa (Susan Enriquez), is hanging out at the rush events, drinking beer, smoking, and hooking up with frat boys.

So, let’s see.  Bobby is a Latino bicycle cop who grew up in a poor neighborhood.  He flirts with Cory.  He’s fiercely overprotective of his teenage sister.  So, basically, he’s exactly like Victor del Toro, except for the fact that he’s played by Mario Lopez.  It wouldn’t surprise me if, when Lopez was handed this script, someone had just gone through and crossed-out Victor’s name and written in Bobby’s name instead.

Anyway, the frat hazing is getting out-of-hand so TC decides to send Granger in undercover.  (I  know I ask this every week but, seriously, why are bicycle cops doing undercover work?)  TC is a former member of the fraternity so he introduces Granger as being his nephew and arranges for Granger to be accepted into the frat as a legacy.  At first, Granger has no interest in being  a member of a frat but then he sees all the beer and changes his mind.

What’s the plot here?  Good question.  Tanner Sexton (Thomas Caron) attempts to drug and rape his ex-girlfriend at a fraternity party but, fortunately, Bobby and Cory show up in time to stop him.  (Granger helps Teressa escape being caught at the party by punching Bobby.)  Despite the fact that he’s dating his son’s ex, Tanner’s father (Clint Carmichael) pulls some strings and gets Tanner released from jail.

Later, Bobby, Cory, and TC confront Tanner at the frat house and Tanner pulls a gun.  Bobby shoots Tanner in the shoulder.  “You’ll be okay,” TC tells Tanner.  Uhmm, the dude just get shot in the shoulder.  That’s not a minor wound!

Eh.  Who cares?  This episode was dumber than usual.  I’m less concerned about the frat and more curious as to why new cast members Shanna Moakler and Amy Hunter always seem to be absent (or, in Hunter’s case, mostly absent) from any episode involving Granger.  For that matter, Darlene Vogel was missing from this episode as well.  One gets the feeling that show couldn’t afford to ever have the entire cast in the same episode at the same time.

Four seasons in and this show has yet to convince that a bike patrol is even necessary.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.9 “Belding’s Prank”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we have an episode that you should watch at your own risk.

Episode 2.9 “Belding’s Prank”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 8th, 1994)

This is one of those episodes where the plot just gives you a headache.

It’s Prank Week at Bayside and Mr. Belding is all in.  He thinks that Prank Week is a great way to build school spirit.  When Screech informs Belding that the new superintendent is coming to inspect the school, Belding assumes that it’s a prank.  Meanwhile, Brian, Tommy, and Bobby are trying to prank Rachel, Lindsay, and Megan and vice versa.  Brian, Tommy, and Bobby sabotage a sink in the girls locker room.  Rachel, Lindsay, and Megan put a live chicken in the boys locker room.

Finally, Screech is able to convince Belding that the superintendent is coming.  Belding suspends prank week.  However, when a plumber (Ken Thorley) shows up to look at the sink, the girls tell Screech that he’s the superintendent.  (The plumber was at the Plumber Awards Banquet and is wearing a suit.)  Belding and Screech give the plumber a tour of the school.  Belding take him to the Max for lunch.

The real superintendent (Raye Birk) shows up but Screech thinks he’s the plumber.  (Oh my God, this hurts my head just to write.)  Screech tells the superintendent to fix the sink.  The superintendent gets sprayed with black sludge.  Screech takes the superintendent to the boys locker room to wash up.  The superintendent runs into the chickens and ends up covered in feathers.

The superintendent demands to speak to Belding in his office.  Our core group of students — who apparently don’t have any classes to go to — wait outside.  Belding steps out of the office and announces, “I’ve been fired.”

Well, yeah, I should say so.  There’s absolutely no reason for Belding not to be fired.  He obviously can’t control his school.  Hell, he can’t even get his students to go to class.

The next day, the superintendent returns and, at a school assembly, says he’s going to introduce the new principal.

“We want Mr. Belding back!” Brian cries out.

“Then you should have appreciated him when he was here,” the superintendent replies.

The superintendent then introduces the new principal — “Mr. Richard Belding!”

Belding steps out on stage, disappointing Screech who thought he was going to be the new principal.  “Got ya!” Belding says to the students.  Hey, it was all a prank!  Belding mentions that it’s a good thing that the superintendent had a sense of humor.

WHAT!?

I’ve seen this episode a few times.  Dennis Haskins actually gives one of his better performances as Belding in this episode.  You really do believe him when he says, “I’ve been fired,” which makes it all the more strange when it turns out it was all just an elaborate prank.

Overall, though, this is one of those episodes that gives me a headache in that every problem could have been resolved by everyone not acting like an idiot.  This is migraine television.  And that’s no prank!