Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958. The show can be viewed on Tubi!
This week, Casey investigates a case of art forgery!
Episode 1.34 “Shadow of Van Gogh”
(Dir by Michael Gordon, originally aired on June 2nd, 1958)
Casey investigates art forgery!
Someone has produced and sold a forged recreation of Vincent Van Gogh’s Starry Night. Casey’s investigation leads her to Jack Wilson (Ray Reinhardt), a struggling artist who is obsessed with Van Gogh. Apparently, Jack once even pretended to cut off his ear. Casey discovers that Wilson did paint the forgery but that he was manipulated by a crooked art dealer named Cors1 (Edgar Stehli). When Casey confronts Corsi, he threatens to shoot her. Casey responds by threatening to take a dagger to the real Starry Night. And then Wilson shows up and grabs Corsi’s gun. With Corsi off to jail, Casey looks at the camera and encourages everyone to go to their local museum and see a real Van Gogh.
Oh, how I wanted to love this episode! I really did. I majored in Art History. I love Van Gogh. This episode should have been right up my alley. And there were some parts of the episode that I really did appreciate. During her investigation, Casey goes to Greenwich Village and we get some on-location footage of a 1950s art fair. We get to see some real-life beatniks! I enjoyed that.
Unfortunately, the rest of the episode doesn’t really live up to its promise. It’s not a particularly well-acted episode. Edgar Stehli plays Corsi as being obviously sinister from the start and Ray Reinhardt seems to be mildly channeling every single crazed artist cliche that has ever existed. If you’re going to make one of your characters a struggling artist obsessed with Van Gogh, you can either portray him as a realistic, undiscovered painter or you can go totally over-the-top and have him actually cut off his ear. This episode tries to go for the middle ground and, as such, it’s never as interesting as it should have been.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.
Episode 4.4 “Down and Out In Bulls Stadium”
(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 26th, 1988)
The first game of the year is approaching and the Bulls, now owned by the Dobbs Corporation, have got a lot to deal with.
Mad Dog has to explain to an aspiring cheerleader (Christie Claridge) that he no longer has the power to make her a Bullette, despite the fact that he promised that he would do so when he was trying to get her to sleep with him.
New quarterback Doug Clayton (Scott Geyer) has to prove that he can lead the team, despite having a reputation for being an intellectual. Doug gave up a Rhodes scholarship so that he could play professional football. That doesn’t sound that smart, to be honest. I mean, will Oxford still be willing to give Doug a chance after he’s suffered twenty concussions?
TD Parker (OJ Simpson) must now work for the Dobbs Corporation, despite previously criticizing the corporation for not promoting enough minorities. TD explains to the press that he and the new owners came to an agreement. He also mentions that the corporation agreed to pay him a lot of money. So, I guess TD’s days as a radical labor leader have been slashed short.
Finally, after Bubba and Jethro spot him living in a parking lot and wiping windshields for a living, they convince TD to hire Joe Hearns (Harold Sylvester) as a defensive coach. Hearns was once a linebacker, which I guess is a defensive position. His career came to an end when he crippled a wide receiver. As a defensive coach, Hearns is a wash. At one point, he nearly runs out onto the field to tackle an opposing player. To me, that would indicate that Hearns has some mental issues and poor impulse control. To Coach Denardo, it means that Joe should be playing instead of coaching. Hearns returns to the lineup and promptly starts to have nightmares about the player he crippled.
Here’s the important thing, though. Doug leads the Bulls to victory in their first game and he makes it a point to praise defensive players like Mad Dog and Dr. Death. Tim Yinessa? Who needs him! Team Doug all the way!
This episode …. actually, it wasn’t that bad. I will admit that I laughed when Hearns had a vision of a wheelchair-bound football player rolling straight at him but that’s just because it was such an absurd image. Harold Sylvester actually gave a pretty good performance as the emotionally damaged, guilt-ridden Joe Hearns. I’m interested in seeing what the show is going to do with the Hearns character and Doug is far more interesting quarterback than the somewhat whiny Yinessa.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This week, we have a very odd cruise indeed.
Episode 7.23 “Side by Side/A Fish Out of Water/Rub Me Tender”
(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on March 10th, 1984)
When the ship’s masseuse abruptly quits, Gopher is forced to make a split-second decision. He hires Dorrie Butterworth (Mandy Perryment) as a replacement but, because he had to do so at the last minute, he doesn’t get a chance to tell Captain Stubing about it. When Stubing meets Dorrie and invites her to dine at the Captain’s Table, Dorrie assumes that it’s all a part of the job. When Dorrie wants to give the Captain a massage, he assumes that it’s her way of flirting. (Myself, I always find it weird that, on every cruise, the Captain always seems to be struggling to find a date. I mean, he’s the Captain!) Gopher is worried that he’ll get in trouble for hiring Dorrie without telling the Captain ahead of time. Instead, once Captain Stubing learns the truth, Dorrie is hired full time.
Yay! Dorrie’s a new member of the crew! I wonder if we’ll ever see her again. Probably not.
(Don’t laugh. Ace joined the crew two episodes ago but he’s nowhere to be seen in this episode.)
Edna Miles (Glynis Johns) boards the ship with her teenage grandson, Toby (Rossie Harris). Everyone is charmed by how attentive Toby is to his grandmother. Toby tells Doc that his grandmother is dying and he wants her to enjoy her final days. However, when Doc talks to Edna, she reveals the truth. Toby is the one who is dying, though he doesn’t realize it. I’m not sure how you wouldn’t realize that but whatever. It was a sad and sweet development. Toby thought he was comforting his grandmother during her final days but instead the opposite was true. Still, someone really should let Toby know the truth at some point….
Finally, Allen (Ed Begley, Jr.) boards the ship and confesses to Isaac that he doesn’t know how to talk to women. Isaac assures him that everyone finds love on the Love Boat. After recovering from an accidental blow to the head, Allen wanders into the ship’s cargo hold and discovers that there’s a mermaid named Cora (Mary Crosby) being transported in a crate. Allen sets Cora free and they have a nice romance on the boat. But when Allen realizes that Cora is going to die if she doesn’t get back in the water, he tosses her overboard.
And then he wakes up! It turns out that it was all a dream! Wait — does that mean everything else that happened on this episode was just a dream as well? Maybe that kid really isn’t dying! Unfortunately, it turns out that the kid is still dying but Allen does meet a woman who looks just like Cora, except she’s not a mermaid.
Not many shows would have the courage to combine a story about a terminally ill child with a comedy about a shy man and a mermaid. The Love Boat, however, did. This was an odd episode. The tone was all over the place. The kid made me want to cry and the mermaid thing made me laugh because, even when it came to something as silly as this, Ed Begley, Jr. knew how to deliver a comedic line. The two stories should not have existed anywhere near each other but they did.
As a result, this was a great cruise! Seriously, The Love Boat is at its best when it breaks the rules.
Finally, I should slso note that, on the How Coked Up Was Julie Scale, this episode scores only a 5 out of 10. Who needs cocaine when you’ve got mermaids and terminal illnesses to deal with?
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, gamblers are causing trouble on campus! It’s time to send in an undercover bike cop!
Episode 4.6 “Silver Dollar”
(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on August 30th, 1998)
At the local college, a bookie is trying to fix games and having his henchwoman beat up the students and the teachers who owe him money. The funny thing about the bookie’s enforcer is that she wears all black and a translucent top and she is constantly kicking people in the face but no one ever seems to notice her. I mean, I can still remember how, during the fourth season of The Wire, Wee-Bey Bice got angry at his son Namond for having a different haircut from all the other members of his crew. Wee-Bey said that you never want to give the police an easy way to spot you in a lineup and that really does make sense. I get the feeling that Pacific Blue might not be as realistic as The Wire was.
Anyway, this is yet another episode where a bike cop goes undercover. This time, recovering gambler Russ is sent undercover to take down the bookies and he’s given $500 of the department’s money to play with. This seems like a terrible idea. Cory eventually figures out that it’s a terrible idea and she spends the entire episode randomly showing up and yelling at Russ about his attitude. Eventually, Cory gets so mad that she beats Russ up. “That was so badass!” Russ says and it was kind of. That said, I do have to wonder about the fact that all of the members of Pacific Blue really do seem to hate each other. They’re always getting into fights or yelling at each other. It takes a lot of charisma to pull off the whole “renegade who does things his way” schtick and, as a character, Russ really doesn’t have it. Unfortunately, Cory doesn’t really have the charisma to pull off the “boss who demands results” thing eitehr.
My point is that this was a boring episode, Russ is a boring character. His roommate, Jamie, is even more boring. The whole subplot about Russ having a lucky silver dollar felt idiotic. For all the time that was spent on Russ trying not to blow his cover, it’s debatable whether or not his police work really had that much to do with taking down the bad guys. Instead, Cory just showed up and beat everyone up. That’s one way to get results. And it actually makes a lot more sense than assigning a bike cop to work undercover.
Why are bike cops going undercover? Aren’t they just supposed to be handing out tickets? On a good day, it appears that there are only seven members of the bike patrol so can they really afford for one of them to go a week without riding his bike? Seriously, is this any way to keep Los Angeles safe?
None of this would happen if Spencer Pratt was mayor.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.
Hey, it’s time for yet another school carnival!
Episode 2.5 “Squash It”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 25th, 1994)
Because no one at this school actually has to go to class or anything, it’s time for the annual Bayside carnival! Who will win the prize for best booth?
Will it be Tommy and Lindsay’s kissing booth? Neither Tommy nor Lindsay are happy about the idea of either one of them kissing anyone else. So why did they agree to a kissing booth in the first place?
Will it be Rachel and Brian’s dunk tank? When Belding comes down with a cold, Brian takes Belding’s place as the dunkee. Everyone wants to dunk Brian because he’s spent a week deliberately insulting everyone. However, Brian has rigged the tank so he won’t fall in the water. “You forgot to release the safety!” Belding says, not realizing that there’s a reason for that. Uh-oh. Soon, Brian is soaked and the audience is saying, “Woooo!”
Will it be Megan and Bobby’s mind-reading booth? Let’s hope not because that’s really dumb. Bobby also has to remove his mind-reading turban so he can fight a bully. Fortunately, Screech has taught him karate!
I know this all sounds terrible but this is actually a pretty cute episode. Instead of being Screech-centered, this episode actually allows every member of the cast to have at least one moment to shine. (I hate to keep pointing this out but the season 2 cast has a far more appealing chemistry than the season 1 cast.) Even Screech teaching Bobby karate is amusing. There’s nothing subtle about Dustin Diamond’s performance but, for once, the broad humor actually works. Add to that, Bobby learns how to fight but then he chooses not to. Hey, that’s actually a good lesson, even if it is a bit anticlimatic.
We never learn who wins the Best Booth prize. I would have given it to Brian and Rachel. They’re a cute couple, even if they’re not technically dating. (It also helps if you don’t think about the fact that there was a 8 year age-difference between the actors.)
All in all, this was a good episode. I’m as shocked as anyone.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, two opponents from the past return.
Episode 5.22 “A Threat of War”
(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on March 21st, 1982)
When Ponch and Baker try to break up a fight between a group of white kids and a group of Spanish kids, they discover that the white gang is being led by their old foe, Billy Rogers (Danny Bonaduce). Billy still knows karate and his attitude has gotten even worse.
Suddenly, another old foe shows up. Andy Macedon (Lewis Van Bergen) says that he’s no longer into the gang life and he’s trying to bring peace to the old neighborhood. Ponch is skeptical so Andy challenges him to a karate match at the youth center.
Everyone tells Ponch that he shouldn’t show up for the fight but Ponch does show up. Ponch back down from a fight? No way. There’s one thing that you can always count on when it comes to CHiPs in its fifth season. Baker might still occasionally get to do something heroic but, for the most part, this is now The Ponch Show. Baker gets to write tickets and occasionally tell people to slow down on the highway. Ponch is the one who gets to sing, dance, flirt, skydive, and just about every other cool thing you could do in California in the 80s. Needless to say, when the show needs someone to take part in a karate match, Ponch is the one who is going to be donning his black belt.
As for the match itself, Ponch and Andy fight each other to a draw and then they shake hands, showing that peace can be achieved. It turns out that Andy was telling the truth! He has reformed! However, Billy Rogers is a lost cause. Not even seeing Ponch and Andy clasping hands is enough to keep him from pursuing the gang life. It would be a sad story if not for the fact that Billy is played by Danny Bonaduce. Instead, it’s just kind of campy.
Considering that this episode revolved around karate, it should have been more exciting. Instead, Estrada just smiled a lot and the episode end up neutering Andy Macedon, one of the best villains that the show ever had. The threat of war was not worth the cost.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!
This week, David Abrams gets his time in the spotlight.
Episode 1.6 “Abrams For The Defense”
(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on October 14th, 1986)
In the slums of Chicago, Hector Lincoln (Ving Rhames) strikes his landlord, Sturkowski (Frederick Nuemann), after one of Hector’s children is bitten by one of the rats that roams freely through the apartment building. Hector is arrested and facing time in prison. Public defender David Abrams (Stephen Lang) defends Hector in court, claiming that conditions in the slums were so bad that Hector only struck Sturkowski in self-defense. Helping David to make his case about the conditions in Sturkowski’s building is a crusader reporter named Suzanne Terry (Pam Grier).
This episode was all about showing us who David Abrams is. David’s father was a mob lawyer but David has no interest in working with people like Ray Luca and Phil Bartoli. Instead, he wants to defend the poor and the downtrodden. Torello and Krychek happen to stop by the trail and they’re impressed with David’s passion. Krychek is disgusted when Sturkowski says that Hector and his family don’t deserve to live a better life. Who knew that two Chicago cops would be so liberal?
To celebrate Hector’s acquittal, a block party is held. David is the guest of honor and, for reasons that aren’t really clear, he decides to invite Torello and Krychek to come celebrate with him. Everyone at the block party is super excited that two cops are hanging out with them. But then Sturkowski tries to evict the Lincolns and Hector strikes him again. This time, he kills Sturkowski. Torello and Krychek promptly arrest Hector as the episode comes to an end.
(And that is why you don’t invite cops to the block party.)
This episode was well-acted, if a bit heavy-handed. (To a certain extent, it reminded me of those episodes of Miami Vice where Crockett would certainly start talking like an undergrad who had just read about Marx for the first time.) It certainly allowed us to get to know more about David Abrams and Stephen Lang and Pam Grier had a good deal of chemistry as two people who appear to be poised on pursuing a relationship that was not all that common in 1963 Chicago. The block party was where the episode kind of lost me, just because I found it hard to believe that Torello and Krychek would not only show up but be treated as the guests of honor despite the fact that most of the people at the party wouldn’t have the slightest idea who they were. I can understand Abrams being welcomed because Abrams kept Hector out of prison. But Torello and Krychek are just two random, middle-aged, white cops.
This episode established David Abrams as being a man caught between two different worlds, the law and lawless. I can’t wait to see what the show does with him.
Several states voted on Tuesday. Everyone was able to quickly count their votes …. except for California. Poor Spencer Pratt. I would have voted for him but it doesn’t look like he’s going to be the next mayor of Los Angeles. With each new update, he’s falling behind and it looks like the whiny commie no one took seriously will be in the run-off instead. It’s funny how this always happens in the state that takes over a month to count the votes. That said, it could also be argued that the results coming out of Los Angeles are a reminder that getting attention online doesn’t necessarily translate into votes on the ground. There’s a lesson there for us all.
The Facts of Life (Tubi)
I was having a panic attack on Wednesday night so I calmed myself down by watching random episodes of this slightly cringey 80s comedy. I ended up getting the theme song stuck in my head. If you hear them from your brother, better clear them with your mother….
The Hillside Strangler (HBOMax)
Yet another serial killer documentary. Cousins Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buono killed a still undetermined number of women in Los Angeles in the 1970s. Bianchi claimed that he had a second personality that was responsible for the murders. Fortunately, the jury did not believe him and he is currently serving a life sentence. Buono died in prison. Good riddance.
Impact x Nightline (Hulu)
This week, I watched an episode about the heart-breaking Kristen Smart case. Though Paul Flores has (after 20+ years) finally been convinced of murdering Smart, her body has yet to be recovered. I cannot imagine the pain that Smart’s family has been put through. This is actually a case that I’ve been following for a while, even before it became the subject of podcasts. It’s not just that Paul Flores murdered Kristen. It’s that he was so damn cocky about it. He really thought he would get away with it.
Susan Smith: Sex Behind Bars (Reelz)
This short documentary about Susan Smith, a young mother who drowned her children and then tried to blame it on an imaginary black carjacker, and the sexual affairs that she had with two correctional officers in prison was exploitive and icky. And yet, I watched it. So, shame on me.
In August of 2022, Netflix premiered a three-part documentary about Woodstock ’99.
Trainwreck: Woodstock ’99 took a look at how the third Woodstock musical festival went from being the most highly anticipated event of the summer of 1999 to being a total disaster. I started watching the documentary the week that it premiered. I was halfway through the first episode when I realized that I needed to make sure that my car insurance had been renewed. I stopped the program, hopped online, made sure that my payment had been received and then….
Well, I don’t exactly remember what I did but I do know that I did not return to Woodstock ’99. Indeed, I kind of forgot about Woodstock ’99. It wasn’t until last night, when Jeff and I were looking for something to watch on Netflix, that I saw Trainwreck: Woodstock ’99 listed under “continue watching.” I did the math. I decided that, given that it had been nearly four years since I watched the opening 30 minutes of the first episode, it was perhaps to finally see what Woodstock ’99 was all about.
The three-part documentary features archival footage from the concert and also interviews with the people behind Woodstock ’99, a few people who attended, and some of the artists who performed. To be honest, I wish that more of the performers had been interviewed. Considering that one of the festival’s organizers literally blamed Fred Durst for the rioting, it’s a shame that Durst didn’t share his side of the story. I’m not a huge fan of Fred Durst but the decision to blame him for the crowd getting out of control has always seem to be a bit too convenient to me. As the documentary shows (sometimes unintentionally), people had reason to be angry long before Fred Durst stepped out on stage and told them to “break shit.” As a once popular performer who has since come to be seen as a bit of a self-parody, Durst makes for an easy scapegoat.
For all the talk about what Woodstock has represented throughout the years, all three of the festivals were ultimately about making money for the organizers. Michael Lang may have been a hippie who said the first Woodstock was about ending the war in Vietnam and that the third Woodstock was about promoting gun control but he was also a businessman. The first Woodstock only made money because of the success of the famous documentary. Woodstock ’94 lost money because the fence surrounding the festival was torn down and people were able to get in without buying tickets. Woodstock ’99 was designed to be secure and impenetrable. Instead of being held in a field, it was held on a deserted air force base where the asphalt made the summer heat unbearable and where the empty hangars helped to create a dystopian atmosphere. Woodstock ’99 was designed to be village. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a village where bottled water eventually ended up costing $14.00 and the toilets ended up overflowing. (One interviewee discusses waking up on the third day and discovering that she was suffering from something called “trench mouth.” Even the name sounds terrifying.)
The documentary features a few people who rightly point out that the festival’s organizers created a situation where the third night’s riot was almost inevitable. Michael Lang apparently had not listened to any new music since the 70s and, hence, didn’t understand that there was a world of difference between the mellow hippies of 1969 and the fans of Korn, Limp Bizkit, and Kid Rock. Amazingly, Lang thought it would be a good idea to hand out candles so that the festival could end with a candlelight vigil against gun violence. The candles were instead used to start fires. As the festival grounds burned, the fence was finally torn down, a sound tower was pulled to the ground, and eventually the national guard showed up. The organizers of the Festival, including Lang, put the blame on almost everyone but themselves.
I’ve often said that movie and documentaries made between 2019 and 2024 often feel as if they are artifacts from a different age. That’s how quickly the culture shifted after the election of 2024. That’s the case with Trainwreck: Woodstock ’99. The final thirty minutes of the documentary are spent classifying Woodstock ’99 as being an example of white privilege and it seems a little performative today but that was pretty much the prism through which everything was viewed and discussed in 2022. The truth of the matter is that there were a lot of reasons why Woodstock ’99 was a disaster and almost all of them come down to the greed at the heart of the enterprise. It was greed that led to festival being held in the worst possible location. It was greed that led to cutting corners when it came to security and the hiring of the half-assed “Peace Patrol,” a group of amateur security guards who failed to protect the most vulnerable people at the festival. (At least five rapes and numerous other sexual assaults occurred a the concert.) And it was ultimately Michael Lang’s desire to pretend that the concert was about something other than greed that led to a bunch of angry, tired, and intoxicated people being handed candles.
This documentary shows why Woodstock ’99 was the final Woodstock. (There was an attempt to put together a 50th anniversary festival in 2019 but, perhaps thankfully, it fell apart.) It’s a shame that Woodstock ended the way it did. It could have been a great American tradition. Instead, the festival of peace and love ended with fire and destruction.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.
Oh no, Emma’s got a cause!
Episode 2.19 “Fight For Your Right”
(Dir by Chris Deacon, originally aired on February 2nd, 2003)
This episode is a good example of Emma being the worst.
Emma and Ashley approach Principal Raditch and tell him that they don’t want genetically modified foods in the cafeteria. Raditch tells them to buzz off, which is the right response when you consider that Raditch is probably just following the orders of the school board. Emma responds by standing outside the school and handing out flyers that announce that Sheila the lunch lady is “poisoning” the students with the food she’s serving.
Now, to me, this is the moment that Emma goes from being a young idealist to being arrogant brat. Sheila works for the school. She’s a lunch lady. I doubt she lives in a nice big house like Emma. Sheila probably needs the job. Emma is accusing Sheila of poisoning people. When Ellie sensibly points out that saving money with GM food — as opposed to the expensive organic crap that Emma wants the school to serve — allows Degrassi to give free meals to poor students, Emma accuses Ellie of not caring about the fact that the students might get cancer in 20 years. Principal Raditch finally comes out and tells Emma that she’s not allowed distribute “propaganda” on school property.
And again, it seems to me that Radtich is within his rights. Number one, why isn’t Emma in class? Number two, Emma is accusing a school employee of being a potential murderer. Number three, Emma is causing a disruption on school property.
The show disagrees with me. The show wants me to say, “Yay, Emma!” Even when Emma goes into the cafeteria and accidentally starts a food fight by knocking Toby and JT’s lunch on Jimmy, we are meant to be on Emma’s side. When Emma gets offended at Raditch’s insistence that she apologize to Sheila, we’re meant to be on her side. One thing that we don’t see is who gets stuck cleaning up the cafeteria after the food fight. I’m going to assume that it was probably the same Sheila that Emma accused of poisoning the students.
Emma is suspended for the day so she stands across the street and holds a sign, claiming that her right to free speech has been violated. Raditch tells Emma that if she doesn’t apologize on the next day’s video announcement, she’ll be suspended for a week.
At home, Emma asks Snake what she should do. Snake encourages her to …. NOT APOLOGIZE! Well, he doesn’t directly say that but he doesn’t say that she should apologize either. Snake, in case you had forgotten, is not only Emma’s teacher but also her stepfather. Spike is on a trip so he’s the only parent at home. Snake, at this point, should be saying, “This is a dumb protest and you should at least apologize to Sheila. No matter what else happens, you’re not getting your organic food in the cafeteria so there’s nothing to be accomplished with any of this.”
Instead, the next morning, Snake just sits there with a big dumbass grin on his face when Emma goes on the video announcements and refuses to apologize. Okay, Snake, do you think it’s cool that a school employee has been accused of poisoning the students? Oh, and Snake — are you the one who is going to call Spike to tell her that you got her daughter suspended from school for a week? Spike, who had to fight so hard for the right to go to school when she was pregnant with Emma, will certainly appreciate hearing that!
Seriously, Emma is the worst! But the only she’s the worst is because this show was convinced that she was the best. One gets the feeling that Emma’s character was a case wish-fulfillment for the show’s writers. Imagine a world where you can be obnoxious and self-righteous and everyone loves you for it!
There is a B-plot and, to be honest, it probably should have been the A-plot. Spinner, jealous that Jimmy’s parents buy him everything, steals Jimmy’s CD player and attempts to sell it. When Jimmy finds out, he overturns a trash can. Spinner takes a job at the cafeteria to earn money and gives Jimmy back the CD player.
“You are my best friend!” Spinner says.
“Was,” Jimmy replies.
Oh my God! Spinner and Jimmy, no! Actually, Spinner and Jimmy were always ending their friendship and then eventually restoring it. They’ll be fine. Still, their storyline was a lot more interesting than Emma’s latest crusade.
When in doubt, always focus on Spinner. That’s a lesson the writers should have taken to heart.
Through the Shattered Lens 