What If Lisa Marie Picked The Oscar Nominees: 2022 Edition


With the Oscar nominations due to be announced tomorrow, now is the time that the Shattered Lens indulges in a little something called, “What if Lisa Marie had all the power.” Listed below are my personal Oscar nominations. Please note that these are not the films that I necessarily think will be nominated. The fact of the matter is that the many of them will not be. Instead, these are the films that would be nominated if I was solely responsible for deciding the nominees this year. Winners are listed in bold.

It should also go without saying that I’ve only nominated films that I’ve actually seen.  So, if you’re wondering why a certain film wasn’t nominated, it’s always possible that may have not gotten the opportunity to see it yet.  Of course, it’s also possible that I didn’t feel that a certain film was worthy of a nomination, despite what the critics may say.  In the end, my best advice is not to worry too much about it.  I’m not an Academy voter so ultimately, this is all for fun and that’s the spirit in which it should be taken.

You’ll also note that I’ve added four categories, all of which I believe the Academy should adopt — Best Voice-Over Performance, Best Casting, Best Stunt Work, and Best Overall Use Of Music In A Film.

(Click on the links to see my nominations for 2021, 2020201920182017201620152014201320122011, and 2010!)

And now, without any further ado:

2022 

Best Picture 

All Quiet on the Western Front 

The Banshees of Inisherin 

Elvis 

Emily the Criminal 

Everything Everywhere All At Once 

The Fabelmans 

Nitram 

TAR 

Top Gun: Maverick 

Vengeance  

Best Director 

Edward Berger for All Quiet on the Western Front  

Todd Field for TAR 

Joseph Kosinski for Top Gun: Maverick 

Baz Luhrmann for Elvis 

Martin McDonagh for The Banshees of Inisherin

BJ Novak for Vengeance 

Best Actor 

Austin Butler in Elvis 

Tom Cruise in Top Gun: Maverick 

Colin Farrell in The Banshees of Inisherin  

Caleb Landry Jones in Nitram 

BJ Novak in Vengeance  

Adam Sandler in Hustle 

Best Actress 

Cate Blanchett in TAR 

Emma Corrin in Lady Chatterley’s Lover  

Annie Hardy in Dashcam 

Mia Goth for Pearl 

Aubrey Plaza in Emily The Criminal 

Michelle Yeoh in Everything Everywhere All At Once 

Best Supporting Actor 

Brendan Gleeson in The Banshees of Inisherin 

Val Kilmer in Top Gun: Maverick 

Anthony LaPaglia in Nitram 

David Lynch in The Fabelmans 

Brad Pitt in Babylon 

Ke Huy Quan in Everything Everywhere All At Once 

Best Supporting Actress 

Kerry Condon in The Banshees of Inisherin 

Essie Davis in Nitram 

Judy Davis in Nitram  

Nina Hoss in TAR  

Nicole Kidman in The Northman 

Michelle Williams in The Fabelmans 

Best Voice Over Performance 

Antonio Banderas in Puss In Boots: The Last Wish 

Jack Black in Apollo 10 ½ 

Steve Carell in Minions: The Rise of Gru 

Mike Judge in Beavis and Butthead Do The Universe 

Ewan McGregor in Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio  

Jenny Slate in Marcel the Shell With Shoes On  

 

Best Adapted Screenplay 

All Quiet On The Western Front 

Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio   

Lady Chatterley’s Lover 

Marcel The Shell With Shoes On 

Operation Mincemeat 

Top Gun: Maverick 

Best Original Screenplay 

Apollo 10 ½

The Banshees of Inisherin 

Emily the Criminal 

Everything Everywhere All At Once 

TAR 

Vengeance 

Best Animated Feature Film 

Apollo 10 ½ 

Beavis and Butthead Do The Universe  

The Bob’s Burgers Movie 

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinoccio  

The House 

Mad God 

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On 

Minions: The Rise of Gru 

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Turning Red  

Best Documentary Feature Film 

The Automat 

Bitterbrush

Dreaming Walls: Inside the Chelsea Hotel

Goodnight Oppy 

Is That Black Enough For You? 

My Old School 

Selena Gomez: My Mind And Me 

Send Me 

Three Minutes: A Lengthening 

Wildcat 

 

Best International Feature Film 

All Quiet on the Western Front 

Bardo 

Battle: Freestyle 

The Bombardment 

Dark Glasses

How I Fell In Love With A Gangster 

Into the Wind 

My Best Friend Anne Frank 

Restless 

RRR 

Best Live Action Short Film 

A Little Dead

Forgive Us Our Trespasses 

Best Animated Short Film 

The Flying Sailor

Ice Merchants

The Garbage Man 

Steakhouse 

Best Documentary Short Film 

Elephant Whisperers

Her Majesty’s Queue  

The Martha Mitchell Effect

Nuisance Bear 

The Runner 

Stranger at the Gate 

Best Original Score 

All Quiet On The Western Front 

Babylon 

The Banshees of Inisherin

Don’t Worry, Darling 

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

Top Gun: Maverick 

 

Best Original Song 

“At the Automat” from The Automat 

“Sunny Side Up Summer” from The Bob’s Burgers Movie 

“Vegas” from Elvis

“Ciao Papa” from Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio  

“Naatu Naatu” from RRR 

“My Mind and Me” From Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me 

“Hold My Hand” From Top Gun: Maverick 

“Carolina” From Where The Crawdads Sing 

“New Body Rhumba” from White Noise 

“A Sky Like I’ve Never Seen” from Wildcat 

Best Overall Use of Music In A Movie 

The Banshees of Inisherin 

Elvis 

TAR   

Father Stu 

Top Gun: Maverick 

Best Sound Editing 

All Quiet On The Western Front 

Avatar: The Way of the Water  

The Bombardment 

Elvis 

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinoccio  

Top Gun Maverick 

Best Sound Mixing 

All Quiet on the Western Front 

The Batman 

Elvis

TAR 

The Northman 

Top Gun Maverick 

Best Production Design 

Babylon

The Batman 

Elvis 

The Fabelmans 

RRR 

See How They Run

Best Casting 

All Quiet on the Western Front 

The Northman 

She Said 

TAR 

Top Gun: Maverick 

Vengeance 

Best Cinematography 

The Banshees of Inisherin 

Bardo   

Elvis 

Everything Everywhere All At Once

RRR 

Top Gun: Maverick 

Best Costume Design 

Babylon 

Death on the Nile 

Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

Elvis

The Fabelmans

See How They Run  

Best Film Editing 

All Quiet on the Western Front  

Ambulance 

The Banshees of Inisherin 

Everything Everywhere All At Once   

The Fabelmans 

Top Gun: Maverick 

Best Make-Up and Hairstyling 

Babylon 

Elvis   

The Fabelmans   

The Northman  

Terrifier 2 

Best Stuntwork 

All Quiet On The Western Front

The Batman 

Bullet Train    

Everything Everywhere All At Once 

RRR 

Top Gun: Maverick 

Best Visual Effects 

Avatar: The Way of Water 

Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness 

Mad God 

RRR 

Terrifier 2 

Top Gun: Maverick 

Films Listed By Number of Nominations

15 Nominations — Top Gun: Maverick

11 Nominations — Elvis

10 Nominations — All Quiet On The Western Front, The Banshees of Inisherin

8 Nominations — TAR

7 Nominations — Everything Everywhere All At Once, The Fabelmans

6 Nominations — Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio, RRR

5 Nominations — Babylon, Nitram, Vengeance

4 Nominations — The Northman, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

3 Nominations — Apollo 10 1/2, The Batman, Emily the Criminal, Marcel the Shell With Shoes On

2 Nominations — The Automat, Avatar: The Way of the Water, Bardo, Beavis and Butthead Do The Universe, The Bob’s Burgers Movie, The Bombardment, Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, Mad Dog, Minions: The Rise of Gru, See How They Run, Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me, Terrifier 2, Wildcat, X

1 Nomination — A Little Dead, Ambulance, Battle: Freestyle, Bitterbush, Bullet Train, Dascham, Dark Glasses, Death on the Nile, Don’t Worry Darling, Dreaming Walls: Inside the Chelsea Hotel, Elephant Whisperers, Father Stu, The Flying Sailor, Forgive Us Our Trespasses, The Garbage Man, Goodnight Oppy, Her Majesty’s Queue, How I Fell In Love With A Gangster, Hustle, Ice Merchants, Into the Wind, Is That Black Enough For You?, The House, Hustle, The Martha Mitchell Effect, My Friend Anne Frank, My Old School, Nuisance Bear, Operation: Mincemeat, Pearl, Restless, The Runner, Send Me, She Said, Steakhouse, Stranger at the Gates, Three Minutes: A Lengthening, Turning Red, Where The Crawdads Sing, White Noise

Films Listed By Number of Wins:

6 Oscars — Top Gun: Maverick

4 Oscars — All Quiet on the Western Front, Banshees of Inisherin

2 Oscars — Babylon, Elvis, TAR

1 Oscars — A Little Death, Avatar: The Way of the Water, Beavis and Butthead Do The Universe, Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio, Ice Merchant, Nuisance Bear, Three Minutes: A Lengthening, X 

Will the Academy and I agree?  Probably not!  But we’ll find out for sure in just a few hours!

Film Review: Ambulance (dir by Michael Bay)


Ambulance is the ultimate Michael Bay movie.

Obviously, whether or not that’s a good thing for you personally will depend on how you feel about Michael Bay.  As a director, Bay specializes in kinetic thrill rides, the type of films where the camera never stops moving, the characters are attractive but shallow, and every plot development is an excuse for another action sequence.  Michael Bay is hardly the first, only, or last director to put action and spectacle above characterization and a coherent storyline.  However, he might very well be the most shameless about it.  Michael Bay’s approach has not made him a favorite of the critics but it has usually proved successful with audiences.  Personally, I’ve smirked at a lot of scenes in a lot of Michael Bay films.  (I still laugh whenever I remember the slow motion shot of the children playing in front of the faded JFK campaign poster in Armageddon.)  But, in this age of self-important filmmakers, it’s hard not to appreciate a director who just wants to have a good time.

And, make no doubt about it, Ambulance is definitely a good time.  The film’s plot is simple.  Jake Gyllenhaal and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II rob a bank.  When the robbery goes wrong, they hijack an ambulance.  In the back of the ambulance is an EMT played by Eliza Gonzalez, who is desperately trying to keep a wounded cop (Jackson White) from dying.  Gyllenhaal and Abdul-Mateen also want to make sure that the cop doesn’t die because they know that, if they’re captured, the penalty for being a cop killer is considerably worse than the penalty for being a bad bank robber.  With the entire LAPD and the FBI in pursuit, the two men drive the ambulance through Los Angeles, trying to find a way to escape.  Essentially, Michael Bay said, “You know how everyone enjoys a chase scene?  What if we made the chase scene last for 136 minutes?”  And wisely, some people gave him money to do just that.

(Actually, that’s just the way that I like to imagine it.  Ambulance is actually a remake of a Danish film and Michael Bay originally passed on the project.  But, as they put it in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, print the legend.)

Jake Gyllenhaal may be top-billed but the star of Ambulance is definitely Michael Bay.  In many ways, there’s not much about Bay’s direction here that’s different from what he’s been doing since The Rock.  The camera moves a lot.  The images are sharp and clear.  The rapid-fire editing captures the chaos of the action scenes, occasionally at the cost of letting the audience know just who exactly is shooting at who.  But what sets apart Ambulance from other Bay films is that Michael Bay finally discovered his greatest collaborator, the drone.  Bay’s camera flies across Los Angeles, zooming over buildings and down streets and essentially making the viewer as much a part of the chase as Gyllenhaal and the cops pursuing him.  Ambulance moves with so much energy and confidence that it doesn’t matter that it’s a bit too long and that Gyllenhaal’s plan often doesn’t make much sense.  Ambulance is a thrill-ride, a film that rewards anyone who is willing to just go with it.  It’s an example of what Lucio Fulci called “pure cinema,” where the story itself is not as important as the way the director puts it all together.  I enjoyed it.  That ambulance barreling through the streets of Los Angeles was the 21st century equivalent of the speeding train that thrilled and terrified audiences during the silent era.

Unfortunately, Ambulance struggled a bit at the box office.  I’m a bit confused as to why, other than it wasn’t a part of a franchise or a sequel (like The Batman, Dr. Strange, and Top Gun: Maverick) and it didn’t have the mix of strong reviews and pop cultural cachet that led audiences to make Everything Everywhere All At Once into a hit.  Along with reviews that were more interested in criticizing Michael Bay in general as opposed to actually considering whether or not the film itslef worked, Ambulance was damaged by the fact that audiences were still getting used to the idea of leaving their homes for a night out.  I get the feeling that a lot of people looked at the commercials for Ambulance and said, “That’s something I can watch at home.”  (Admittedly, that’s what I did.)  It’s a shame that Michael Bay’s ultimate (and, I would say, best) film is also one of the few to be deemed a box office failure.  The film is currently on Peacock.  Try to watch it on the biggest screen you can find.