Tag Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.5 “Only the Good Die Young/Honey Beats the Odds/The Light of Another Day”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 8.5 “Only the Good Die Young/Honey Beats the Odds/The Light of Another Day”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on October 13th, 1984)

This week, Isaac’s friend Lydia (Vernee Watson) boards the boat with her young son, Timmy (Emmanuel Lewis).  Is it time for Isaac to find love?  Not quite.  It turns out that Isaac knew Lydia’s deceased husband.  This trip is the first that Lydia and Timmy have taken since he died.

At first, Timmy is all cute and adorable.  But then he overhears Isaac talking to Lydia.  When Isaac mentions something about the good always dying young, Timmy decides to be bad so that he’ll live longer.  Soon, he’s sneaking out of his cabin, making a mess in the kitchen, and trying to steal stuff from the gift shop.  Finally, Captain Stubing and Isaac explain to him that what Isaac said was just an expression.  All is forgiven!

Oh God, this storyline.  I almost always respond to stories about people dealing with the loss of a parent or spouse.  I did not respond at all to this story, though.  Some of that is because Emmanuel Lewis’s performance as Timmy was way too cutesy.  Even more of it was because this story didn’t really deal with loss in any sort of honest or authentic way.  Instead, it was just some stupid kid who misunderstood something that he heard.  As usual, Ted Lange really poured his heart into his performance but otherwise, this story just fell flat.

Meanwhile, blind Millie Constant (Barbara Parkins) thinks that she has randomly run into Sam Washburn (John Bennett Perry — yes, Matthew’s father).  In college, before she lost her eyesight, she had a crush on Sam.  What she doesn’t know is that Sam is dead and she’s actually met his younger brother, George.  When Millie finally figures out that George is not Sam, how will she react?  Most people, blind or not, would probably be disgusted and go out of their way to avoid George for the rest of the cruise.  Millie, however, falls in love with George because this is The Love Boat!  This story actually featured two good performances.  Both Parkins and Perry did their best with the material they had been given to work with.  But the story itself asks us to suspend our disbelief just a bit too much.

Finally, Honey Mallory (Stephanie Faracy) boards the boat with her boyfriend, bookie Jake Diamond (James Sloyan).  With Jake more interested in making bets than romance, Honey starts to hang out with Miles Metcalf (Jack Riley).  Jake panics when he realizes that he might lose Honey.  He should also panic about the fact that Miles is a federal agent who has been secretly recording all of his conversations with Honey.  This story ends on a weird note.  Honey realizes that she loves Jake but Miles announce that Jake will be getting indicted at the end of the week.

All in all, this was not a memorable cruise.  None of the stories worked that well and, with the exception of Ted Lange, the Love Boat cast didn’t really seem like that they were that into it this week.  This was a pretty forgettable cruise.

Scenes That I Love: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s scene that I love comes from John Huston’s 1948 masterpiece, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

In this scene, we meet Fred C. Dobbs (played by Humphrey Bogart) and we watch as he begs and scrounges for money.  The man in the white suit is played by John Huston himself.  This was Huston’s first acting role.  He would go on to be nominated for best supporting actor for his role in The Cardinal.  He would also give unforgettable performances in films like The Other Side of the Wind, The Visitor, and Chinatown.

 

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special John Huston Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

120 years ago today, the writer/director/actor John Huston was born in Nevada, Missouri.  Today, we honor his life and films with….

4 Shots from 4 John Huston Films

The Maltese Falcon (1941, dir by John Huston, DP: Arthur Edeson)

The Night of the Iguana (1964, dir by John Huston, DP: Gabriel Figueroa)

The Bible (1966, dir by John Huston, DP: Giuseppe Rotunno)

Under the Volcano (1984, dir by John Huston, DP: Gabriel Figueroa)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.13 “Saving Serenity”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Del Toro returns!

Episode 4.13 “Saving Serenity”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on January 10th, 1999)

When last we saw former series regular Victor Del Toro (played by Marcos A. Ferraez), he was quitting the force after nearly being indicted for killing the man who killed his fiancée.  In this episode, Victor finally returns to Santa Monica.

Victor has spent the last five months wandering.  He now has bleached blonde hair and a serious drinking problem.  When a robber attempts to hold up the bar where Victor is getting drunk, Victor struggles with him.  The thief ends up getting shot.  Victor grabs the thief’s gun and runs from the bar.

Victor is on the verge of shooting himself on the pier when he sees a woman named Carmen Rios (Angela Alvarado).  Carmen reveals that she’s searching for her daughter, Serenity.  Serenity was taken away by her biological father.  Carmen wants to find her daughter and escape to Mexico with her.  Victor agrees to help.

Victor shows up at the Pacific Blue headquarters and announces that he wants to rejoin the force.  But, in reality, he just wants to steal the files concerning Serenity’s whereabouts.  Later, Victor fakes a bomb threat at the main police station so that he can steal another casefile.  TC, Chris, and Cory all reuses to believe that Victor could be involved in anything illegal.  Bobby Cruz is convinced that Victor is the one who shot the robber at the bar.

And really, Bobby has reason to be concerned about Victor’s desire to return to Pacific Blue.  Victor is a young, handsome Latino who overcame a rough childhood to become a respected bike cop and he’s extremely protective of his younger sister.  Bobby, who was introduced after Victor left the show, is also a young, handsome Latino who overcame a rough childhood to become a respected bike cop and he’s also extremely protective of his younger sister.  Because the show’s writers were too lazy to actually come up with a new character, Bobby basically is Victor.  If Victor returns, the show won’t need Bobby around anymore.

Fortunately, for Bobby, Victor is dead by the end of this episode.  He reunites Carmen and Serenity and then drags Serenity’s father out to the pier.  Holding a gun to the father’s head, Victor forces the man to repeat the serenity prayer.  Cory, TC, and Chris all have their guns drawn.  “No!” they all shout in slow motion before opening fire.  Victor plunges off the pier and hits the sand below.

OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED VICTOR!

Well, it depends on how you look at it.  It turns out that none of them could actually bring themselves to shoot Victor.  They just shot up in the air.  And then Victor …. well, who knows?  The show implies that Victor jumped but, from what I saw, it looks like he was startled and fell backwards.  In other words, his friends may not have shot Victor but he might still be alive if they hadn’t fired.

Victor does indeed die at the end of this episode.  Wow, Pacific Blue got dark!  And I do have to admit that this is actually the best episode of Pacific Blue that I’ve watched so far.  Admittedly, it’s a low bar to clear but the whole episode was just so melodramatic and over-the-top that it actually managed to hold my attention in a way that this show usually doesn’t.  Those three slow motion shots of people shouting, “Noooooo!” in a row really were worth the price of admission.

So, Victor’s dead.  But at least Bobby’s place on the team is secure.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.12 “Christmas In July”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we’re back at that damn country club.

Episode 2.12 “Christmas In July”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 15th, 1994)

The Palisades County Club is holding its annual Christmas in July celebration.  Along with the employees taking part in Secret Santa, a new Snow Queen will be named.  Again, this episode takes place in July.  There’s no snow on the ground.  The sun is bright.  It’s summer in California.  I can’t help but think that Santa costume that Belding is wearing is going to be getting awfully hot and smelly.  Even stranger, this episode aired in October.

Seriously, Saved By The Bell, why couldn’t you just be normal?

Screech is in a panic about Secret Santa.  After he learns that his girlfriend, Alison, has been given a new car by her father, club owner Big Ed (Frank Bonner), Screech wonders how his gift can possibly compete.  Hey, Screech?  Big Ed is her father.  You’re not supposed to compete with his gifts.  Anyway, Screech sells his never-bef0re-seen Scooter so that he can get Alison something expensive.  Meanwhile, Alison buys Screech a rinky-dink horn for his scooter.  Wow, Alison’s gift really sucked!  Alison’s driving a brand new car and she still couldn’t find Screech a gift that cost more than a dollar?  I guess their relationship must be all about the sex because it’s definitely not about love.

Meanwhile, Megan, Rachel, and Lindsay are competing to be Miss Snow Queen.  The winner gets a scholarship!  Megan is outraged when she discovers that there’s a swimsuit portion of the competition.  She demands that Rachel and Lindsay join her and quit in protest.  Rachel and Lindsay both say that they’re not quitting because they actually need the scholarship.  Megan, who has previously been established as coming from a wealthy family, decides to stay in the pageant so she can give a speech about sexism and keep the two poor girls from going to college.  Megan wins the pageant but she also apologizes for calling Rachel and Lindsay “bimbos” for not dropping out.  It’s good to see that performative activism did not go out of style after Jessie graduated.

This was a dumb episode.  The second season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class is a hundred times better than the first but the country club episodes still suck.

Song of the Day: Rip Her To Shreds by Blondie

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

She thinks she’s Brenda Starr/her nose job is real atomic….

I love this song.  It makes me regret that I was born to late to experience New York in the 70s.  “She’s do dull …. rip her to shreds,” is a favorite expression of mine, one that gets me strange looks from people who are not familiar with this song.

Oh well.  I can live with the looks!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 6.2 “Tight Fit”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch becomes the Barcelona Man.

Episode 6.2 “Tight Fit”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on October 17th, 1982)

After Ponch and his new partner Bobby thwart an attempt to steal a lockbox of diamonds from a photo shoot, Ponch is invited to become a jeans model.  In fact, he even gets to appear on a giant billboard and star in a commercial as the shirtless Barcelona Man.

Well, of course, he does.  A lot of things may have changed last week but one thing remains the same.  We all know what we’re watching.

These episodes featuring Ponch getting “discovered” are always a bit silly.  Ponch always acts like he’s modest and kind of embarrassed to be at the center of attention but it’s never convincing because it’s obvious that Erik Estrada is loving it.  All it takes is one look at that big grin to know that Estrada is more than happy to be the shirtless Barcelona Man.

Now, to make clear, Ponch and Bobby did solve some crimes.  They caught a jewel thief who crashed his car in an attempt to hide his crimes.  They also busted a fashion photographer (Michael Haynes) who was coercing his underage models to pose nude and attend wild sex parties.  One of the models was played by Kim Richards.  She gets a scene where she attempts to jump off a ledge.  Can you guess which member of the Highway Patrol saves her?  I’ll give you a hint.  It’s not Bobby!

Much like last week, this episode highlighted the total lack of chemistry between Erik Estrada and his new partner, Tom Reilly.  Reilly spent most of this episode looking somewhat dazed and confused.  Unlike Larry Wilcox, who always came across as if he arrested people in his spare time, Tom Reilly was a very unconvincing cop.  After two episodes, it appears that Reilly’s main contribution to the show is to make Estrada seem convincing by comparison.

Next week, the Ponch Show continues.

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.13 “Strange Bedfellows”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988.  The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Homan sings.

Episode 1.13 “Strange Bedfellows”

(Dir by Francis Delia, originally aired on December 26th, 1986)

Homan is in federal custody and he’s telling Breitel all that he knows about Luca and Bartoli.  He’s also making up a story about Torello taking a bribe.  Even though Homan’s Torello story is pretty shaky, Breitel is looking forward to taking down a crooked cop and launching his political career off of of the publicity.

Bartoli is not amused when he learns that he’s being indicted.  However, Luca is able to convince Manny Weisbord to provide him with a top-level defense attorney.  Manny also makes it clear that Luca no longer works for Phil.  Instead, Luca works with Phil.  Lucas has another reason to be happy.  When he runs into David Abrams at a bar, he gets some free legal advice.  Luca explains that Homan is lying about Torello.  Abrams tells Luca that, if they can prove that Homan is lying about Torello, it will be easier to convince a jury that Homan is lying about Luca and Bartoli as well.

Torello, meanwhile, responds to his upcoming indictment by going to Las Vegas and playing some golf.  He’s in a great mood until he sees that his indictment is one the front page of the newspaper.

Not much really happened in this episode of Crime Story.  That’s not really a complaint.  If anything, it was a bit of a nice change-of-pace.  We got to watch the characters just be themselves.  Luca, who rarely shows emotion, actually smiles when he hears that Torello is about to be indicted along with “his favorite people.”  Luca actually has a sense of humor and an appreciation for irony.  Who would have guessed?  Meanwhile, Torello continues to be just a bit too intense for his own good.  Even on vacation, he seems like he’s just one frustration away from snapping.

Will Torello snap next week?  We’ll find out!