4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.
On September 30th, it will have been 71 years since James Dean was killed in a tragic car accident. At the time of his death, he had already filmed East of Eden, Rebel Without A Cause, and Giant. East of Eden would be the only one of his starring roles that Dean would live to see. Dean went on to be nominated for two posthumous academy awards and, in death, he became an icon that will live forever.
In honor of James Dean’s career and his legacy, here are….
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, the Pumpkin Man strikes! It’s even dumber than it sounds.
Episode 4.18 “Thicker Than Water”
(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on March 21st, 1999)
A mob lawyer and his wife have been murdered, and for some reason the bicycle patrol is investigating the case instead of Homicide. When it becomes apparent that the lawyer’s son, Andy Jr. (Scotty Cox), has disappeared, Cory makes it her mission to track him down. This is yet another episode where Cory is willing to do whatever it takes to solve the case. Of course, in Cory’s case, that usually means walking around and glaring at people.
Cory discovers that Andy Jr. is with his real mother, a stripper named Angela (Angela Marsden). Angela was the dead lawyer’s mistress. When Cory tracks down Angela, she learns that Andy doesn’t know his father is dead, but he does know that “the Pumpkin Man” came to the house. Meanwhile, the FBI sends over an agent who is big and bald… JUST LIKE THE LEAD SINGER OF SMASHING PUMPKINS!
You may think that I’m making this up, but no, it’s very, very true. Andy calls the killer the Pumpkin Man because he thinks the killer looks like Billy Corgan. When he sees the FBI agent, Andy shouts, “The Pumpkin Man! SMASHING PUMPKINS!”
Because Cory is currently in hiding with Angela, the bicycle patrol decides to go undercover. Monica gets a job dancing at the strip club. Well, of course she does. Whenever T.C. says that someone is going undercover, that means Monica is going to be looking for clues while undressed. One of the more annoying things about this season is that Monica always does a good job while she’s undercover, but no one ever gives her any credit for it. Instead, the other members of the bike patrol just roll their eyes and give an exasperated sigh whenever Monica says something. If they have a problem with Monica constantly flirting with all of the bad guys, they might want to talk to T.C., since he’s the one who keeps assigning her to do it.
This episode was dumb even by Pacific Blue standards. I already mentioned that it makes no sense for a bunch of uniformed bicycle cops to be investigating a high-profile murder. It also doesn’t really make any sense for a bike cop to go undercover at a strip club. I mean, isn’t that what Vice is for? There’s also a moment where T.C. tells off the FBI for trying to interfere with the investigation. I think the FBI ranks higher than the bike patrol. Finally, the kid playing young Andy was an absolutely lousy actor, and that crooked FBI agent may have been bald, but he still didn’t look that much like Billy Corgan.
Someday I’m going to run out of Pacific Blue episodes to review. It can’t come soon enough.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.
This week, we’re back at the ranch.
Episode 2.17 “Wanna Bet?”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 5th, 1994)
Uncle Lester and Cousin Clint are out-of-town for some reason and Screech has been left in charge of the dude ranch.
This is already the stupidest episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class yet.
It’s up to Screech to set up the end-of-the-week square dance but when he gets to be too bossy, Mr. Belding refuses to work with him. Screech tells Lindsay to tell Belding that he’s no longer speaking to him. Lucky Mr. Belding.
Less lucky are the members of the Gang, who are hustled by two con artists and lose all of their summer earnings in a crooked poker game. Megan has a crush on one of the con artists but she changes her mind when he refuses to give back the money. Luckily, the sheriff is looking for the con artists so all Screech and Belding have to do is keep them from leaving the ranch, which they do by challenging the con artists to a poker game. Screech is such a bad poker player that the sheriff arrives before the first hand has even been successful dealt.
Belding hopes that the Gang has learned an important lesson about gambling. Tommy D swears that he’s never going to gamble again.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, it’s Balboa Day!
Episode 6.7 “This Year’s Riot”
(Dir by Richard A. Colla, originally aired on November 28th, 1982)
It’s Balboa Day weekend, and that means the beach is going to be full of drama and bikinis. (Full disclosure: Before this episode, I had never heard of Balboa Day before. I guess it’s a California thing.) Ponch and Bobby are assigned to keep an eye on things on a small island off the California coast. When an irate homeowner pulls a shotgun on teenagers who keep trespassing on his property, it’s up to Ponch and Bobby to talk him down before someone gets hurt. When a wealthy woman (Julie Newmar) tries to establish a nude beach, it’s up to the Highway Patrol to tell everyone to put some clothes on.
Meanwhile, Doc (Gary Morgan) is selling drugs on the beach and causing trouble. He even sells some to Grossman’s socially awkward nephew, Russell (Robbie Rist). Luckily, Ponch is there to chase Doc down. When Doc makes it onto a barge, he thinks he’s escaped. He grins and mockingly waves goodbye. Ponch rides his motorcycle off the dock, glides through the air, and lands on the barge.
“And he calls me a hot dog!” Bobby says, watching.
And really, that’s all Bobby can do. It’s certainly not as if Bobby or any other member of the Highway Patrol would have been allowed to take down the episode’s main villain. That’s not how things work when Ponch is around. When Larry Wilcox said that he was tired of the producers always favoring Erik Estrada and left after season 5, the producers could have taken that as a sign that the show didn’t always have to be exclusively the Ponch Show. Instead, they appear to have learned the opposite lesson. During the sixth and final season, the series is more about Ponch than ever. Of course, in the role of Bobby, Tom Reilly isn’t exactly the most convincing cop in the world. He comes across as a bit spacey, like a California beach bum who somehow got through the Police Academy. Larry Wilcox was always believable as a cop. When it came to riding a motorcycle and looking manly while writing tickets, Wilcox could easily keep up with Estrada. Reilly, on the other hand, always seems like he’d rather be surfing.
Ponch gets the bad guy in this one and makes the beach safe for people of all ages. Seriously, is there anything Ponch can’t do? As for the episode itself, it was bland but likable, largely because of the beach scenery. Robbie Rist is best remembered for playing Cousin Oliver on The Brady Bunch. He’s even more annoying as Russell here. Not only is he rude to his uncle, he’s also dumb enough to take drugs before trying to go sailing. What a dummy. It’s a good thing this is the Ponch Show and Ponch can do no wrong. Otherwise, Russell would have been in a lot of trouble.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!
This week, a future Oscar winner briefly joins the cast.
Episode 1.18 “The Survivor”
(Dir by Alan Myerson, originally aired on February 13th, 1987)
Torello has managed to get an undercover FBI agent into Luca’s casino. Jack Claymore (James Gammon) is a tough, rough-hewn character who immediately befriends Pauli. The only thing that both Torello and Jack worry about is that someone Jack previously busted might get hired at the casino and blow Jack’s cover. Abrams’s assistant, Steve Altman (William Converse-Roberts), has been assigned to keep an eye on who Luca is hiring.
Steve, however, is a bit distracted by the fact that Torello is dating his ex-wife, Lisa (Hannah Cox). When Steve married Lisa, he adopted her teenage daughter, Tracy (played by a very young Julia Roberts). Tracy, however, hates Steve. When Lisa reads Tracy’s diary, she discovers why: Steve spent their entire marriage sexually abusing Tracy.
When Torello confronts Abrams with this information, Abrams offers to kick Steve off the task force, but Torello is worried about the publicity. (Is he worried about Tracy having to testify, or is he worried about the task force being exposed? The episode doesn’t make it clear, but knowing Torello, it’s possible that both things are true.)
For his part, Steve gets so angry and distracted that Jack’s cover is nearly blown when someone he previously arrested shows up at the casino without warning. Luckily, a member of Torello’s old MCU, Nate Grossman (Steve Ryan), just happens to be at the casino, so Jack punches him out and gets himself arrested. Luca is impressed that Jack hit a cop and, as a result, Jack moves up in the casino’s hierarchy.
As for Steve, he has a psychotic break. He breaks into Torello’s apartment and, while holding a tape recorder, demands that Tracy say she was lying about him. Terrified, Tracy does so. However, everything about the way Steve talks to her and the way Tracy reacts proves that she didn’t lie at all. After a high-speed chase with Torello, Steve kills himself in his motel room.
There’s an interesting moment toward the end of the episode where a Las Vegas detective insinuates that Torello murdered Steve and made it look like a suicide. When Abrams and the rest of the former MCU members object, Torello tells them to stop. “He’s just doing what I would do,” Torello says. It’s a moment that reminds us that being a cop means trusting no one.
This is a powerful episode. It was also Julia Roberts’s very first role. There’s not much about her performance that would make you think she was destined to become a big star. She was obviously inexperienced when it came to acting on camera. That said, her awkwardness is perfect for the character.
This episode ends with Lisa and Tracy leaving Vegas. Torello, once again, is alone. His only constant companion is his obsession with Ray Luca.
Hi, everyone! Tonight, on twitter, I will be hosting one of my favorite films for #MondayMania! Join us for Sinister Sister!
What happens when a woman suspects that her psycho sister-in-law might have a sinister, baby-snatching plan? Watch to find out!
You can find the movie on Prime and then you can join us on twitter at 9 pm central time! (That’s 10 pm for you folks on the East Coast.) See you then!
On this Labor Day, our song of the day is dedicated to all of the independents out there. Convoy is usually described (somewhat dismissively) as being either a one-hit wonder or a novelty song but seriously, “We just ain’t gonna pay no toll,” is one of the greatest lyrics ever written and, in this post-COVID era, it’s a reminder that the human spirit was never meant to be regulated.
Someone tell the authoritarians. Someone warn the bureaucrats. Someone alert anyone who thinks they have the right to tell other people how to live their lives. We’ve got a mighty convoy and it’s a beautiful sight.
Ah, breaker one-nine, this here’s the Rubber Duck. You gotta copy on me, Pig Pen, c’mon? Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it’s clean clear to Flag Town, c’mon. Yeah, that’s a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy. Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy…
Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June In a Kenworth pullin’ logs Cab-over Pete with a reefer on And a Jimmy haulin’ hogs
We is headin’ for bear on I-10 ‘Bout a mile outta Shaky Town I says, “Pig Pen, this here’s the Rubber Duck” “And I’m about to put the hammer down”
‘Cause we got a little convoy Rockin’ through the night Yeah, we got a little convoy Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy ‘Cross the USA, convoy
Ah, breaker, Pig Pen, this here’s the Duck. And, you wanna back off them hogs? Yeah, 10-4, ’bout five mile or so. Ten, roger. Them hogs is gettin’ in-tense up here
By the time we got into Tulsa Town We had eighty-five trucks in all But they’s a roadblock up on the cloverleaf And them bears was wall-to-wall
Yeah, them smokies is thick as bugs on a bumper They even had a bear in the air I says, “Callin’ all trucks, this here’s the Duck We about to go a-huntin’ bear”
‘Cause we got a great big convoy Rockin’ through the night Yeah, we got a great big convoy Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy ‘Cross the USA, convoy
Ah, you wanna give me a 10-9 on that, Pig Pen? Negatory, Pig Pen; you’re still too close. Yeah, them hogs is startin’ to close up my sinuses. Mercy sakes, you better back off another ten
Well, we rolled up Interstate 44 Like a rocket sled on rails We tore up all of our swindle sheets And left ’em settin’ on the scales
By the time we hit that Chi-town Them bears was a-gettin’ smart They’d brought up some reinforcements From the Illinois National Guard
There’s armored cars and tanks and jeeps And rigs of ev’ry size Yeah, them chicken coops was full’a bears And choppers filled the skies
Well, we shot the line and we went for broke With a thousand screamin’ trucks An’ eleven long-haired Friends a’ Jesus In a chartreuse micra-bus
Ah, Rubber Duck to Sodbuster, come over. Yeah, 10-4, Sodbuster? Lissen, you wanna put that micra-bus right behind that suicide jockey? Yeah, he’s haulin’ dynamite, and he needs all the help he can get
Well, we laid a strip for the Jersey shore And prepared to cross the line I could see the bridge was lined with bears But I didn’t have a dog-goned dime
I says, “Pig Pen, this here’s the Rubber Duck We just ain’t a-gonna pay no toll” So we crashed the gate doing ninety-eight I says “Let them truckers roll, 10-4”
‘Cause we got a mighty convoy Rockin’ through the night Yeah, we got a mighty convoy Ain’t she a beautiful sight?
Come on and join our convoy Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy ‘Cross the USA
Convoy! Ah, 10-4, Pig Pen, what’s your twenty? Convoy! Omaha? Well, they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer shure. Well, mercy Convoy! sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on outta here, so keep the bugs off your glass and the bears off your… Convoy! tail. We’ll catch you on the flip-flop. This here’s the Rubber Duck on the side Convoy! We gone. ‘Bye,’bye
Today is a special day here at the Shattered Lens as we celebrate the birthday of Dario Argento!
Now, we’ve got a lot of Argento-related stuff scheduled for October so, for today, I’m just going to share one of the best scenes from one of my favorite Argento films, 1975’s Deep Red. This scene features what is seriously the creepiest puppet that I’ve ever seen.
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
117 years ago, on this date, Elia Kazan was born Istanbul. Kazan would go on to become a groundbreaking director, both for the stage and in movies. He would play a key role in turning both Marlon Brando and James Dean into stars and he made films, like Gentleman’s Agreement and A Face In The Crowd, that challenged the political pieties of the day. Of course, he also named names in front of HUAC, a decision that continues to be controversial to this day. Two of Kazan’s films — Gentleman’sAgreement and On The Waterfront — won the Oscar for Best Picture. A Streetcar Named Desire was widely expected to win before it was upset by An American In Paris. A Face In The Crowd is often cited as being one of the most prophetic films ever made. When Kazan was given an honorary Oscar in 1999, many in the auditorium refused to applaud but his influence as a filmmaker cannot be denied.
It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 Elia Kazan Films
A Streetcar Named Desire (1951, dir by Elia Kazan, DP: Harry Stradling)
On The Waterfront (1954, dir by Elia Kazan, DP: Boris Kaufman)
East of Eden (1955, dir by Elia Kazan, DP: Ted D. McCord)
A Face In The Crowd (1957, dir by Elia Kazan, DP: Gayne Rescher and Harry Stradling)
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.
Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be The Omega Syndrome!
If you want to join this watch party, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up The Omega Syndrome on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!
Through the Shattered Lens 