Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.3 “The One That Got Away”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, you can do anything in a montage!

Episode 2.3 “The One That Got Away”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on September 30th, 1991)

After Megan (Vanessa Angel), a lifeguard who we’ve never seen before, is attacked by a maniac (Rick Dean), she has to conquer her fears of being attacked again so that she can lure him out of hiding so that he can be arrested.

Meanwhile, Shauni is burned out on being a lifeguard so she and Eddie spend a weekend just enjoying the beach and presumably ignoring anyone who might be drowning.

This is pretty much the epitome of a syndicated episode of Baywatch and it’s interesting to see that the formula was pretty much determined and locked in even this early into the show’s syndicated run.  There’s a serious storyline about a maniac attacking women on the beach but the cameraman spends as much time leering at Vanesa Angel as the man stalking her.  Shauni is tired of doing her job and instead of telling her to find a new job, it’s suggested that she just spend a weekend looking at the sunset with her boyfriend.

But the most important thing is that, regardless of the beach maniac and Shauni’s depression, there’s plenty of time for endless musical montages.  That’s what this episode is really all about.  Shauni gets a frustration montage.  She gets a happy montage.  Lifeguard Harvey gets an acting like a jackass montage.  Each montage takes up about five minutes of screentime so that probably definitely helped when it came to writing the script for this episode.

David Hasselhoff, oddly enough, is barely in this episode.  It’s only the second episode of the show’s syndicated run and the Hoff was already taking the week off?  I guess you can do that when you’re syndicated.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Reptilicus With #ScarySocial!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1961’s Reptilicus!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy!

 

Scenes That I Love: Albert Finney Hates People In Scrooge


Today would have been the 90th birthday of the great British actor, Albert Finney!

And today’s scene that I love features Albert Finney in the role of history’s most famous miser.  In 1970’s Scrooge, Finney played the title role and, early on, his worldview was perfectly captured by a song called I Hate People.  Finny was only 34 when he played Ebenezer Scrooge but he does a wonderful job of bringing the character to life and he’s just as convincing when he’s being good as he is when he’s being bad.  Finney is the main reason why Scrooge is my personal favorite of all of the versions of A Christmas Carol.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special J.A. Bayona Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we wish a happy birthday to the great Spanish director, J.A. Bayona!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 J.A. Bayona Films

The Orphanage (2007, dir by J.A. Bayona, DP: Oscar Faura)

The Impossible (2012, dir by J.A. Bayona, DP: Oscar Faura)

A Monster Calls (2016, dir by J.A. Bayona, DP: Oscar Faura)

Society of the Snow (2023, dir by J.A. Bayona, DP: Pedro Luque)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.12 “It’s My Party And You’ll Die If I Want You To”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

Guess who is making trouble …. again.

Episode 2.12 “It’s My Party And You’ll Die If I Want You To”

(Dir by Tom DeSimone, originally aired on December 24th, 1989)

This aired when?

Wow!  Happy Christmas Eve!

Freddy takes center stage in this week’s episode.  First, he possesses a phony psychic (Gwen Banta) and uses her to kill a bunch of people because …. well, why not?  He’s Freddy.  It’s kind of what he does.  The second story features Freddy seeking revenge on the woman who stood him up for prom and it features an occasionally clever subplot about a man attempting to write a film about Freddy’s life.  Freddy complains that the script doesn’t have a heart.  That’s because Freddy ripped it out of the screenwriter.

This was not a bad episode.  Director Tom DeSimone does a good job of keeping the action moving and he allows Freddy to be genuinely menacing.  This entire season has pretty much been a reminder of the fact that Freddy isn’t just an undead spirit who makes joke  He’s also very scary.  If the first season treated Freddy like a quip machine, the second season has gone out of its way to show that Freddy is pure evil and you’re better off not being in his presence.

This week’s stories were tied together by the presence of Oliver Michaels (Richard Speight), a spacey young man who previously appeared in Photo Finish.  Oliver does his best to warn people in this episode but no one’s willing to listen until it’s too late.

That’s life in Springwood.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.19 “Red White Black And Blue”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

St. Elsewhere gets political!

Episode 3.19 “Red White Black and Blue”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on February 13th, 1985)

This week, on St. Elsewhere!

  • The First Lady is coming to Boston!  Though she’s going to be visiting Boston General, St. Eligius has been designated as a backup hospital.  While she’s in the area, the Emergency Room will be closed to everyone but her.  As well, some members of the hospital staff have been flagged as security risks — including Dr. Craig!
  • Dr. Craig is not happy about that but eventually, he’s cleared.  It turns out that his wife was the security risk because she once defended the Black Panther Party.
  • Betty White plays Captain Gloria Neal, a doctor who is on the First Lady’s security team.  She is an old friend of Dr. Westphall’s.  At first, it seems like she and Westphall might pursue a romance but it doesn’t happen.  I’m going to guess this is because Gloria realized that Dr. Westphall is the most depressing man on the planet.
  • When a severely injured man is rushed to St. Eligius, Neal refuses to open the Emergency Room.  So, Dr. Craig takes it upon himself to overrule her.  The man dies on the table.
  • Dr. Jacqueline Wade (Sagan Lewis) follows Captain Neal around, complaining about the president’s policies.  In fact, the entire hospital seems to be full of Democrats!  Wow, this President sure must have been unpopular.  Let’s see who it is …. hey, Ronald Reagan!  Three months before this episode aired, Reagan was reelected with 58% of the vote.  He carried 49 states, including Massachusetts.  Apparently, everyone who voted for Walter Mondale worked at the same hospital.
  • Mrs. Hufnagle is back at the hospital.  She is having heart problems.  Dr. Westphall glumly tells the doctors that they have been neglecting her because of her terrible personality.  However, not even Westphall can handle talking to her.  He passes the case over to Dr. Craig.
  • Fiscus has dinner with Shirley Daniels, who says that she hopes she goes to prison for shooting Dr. White.  The next day, Shirley is admitted to the hospital with appendicitis.
  • Victor Ehrlich wrong believes that a child has been abused by his mother.  He gets social services involved.  Later, Westphall sighs with regret and tells Victor that he did the wrong thing.  Westphall is being kind of a prick here.  Legally, if Ehrlich thinks that there’s been abuse, he’s required to report it.  Westphall seems to be upset that Ehrlich can’t read minds.
  • Finally, chronic homewrecker Nurse Rosenthal has to spend the day at the hospital so her lover, Richard, spends the day with her annoying children.  Well, I guess he certainly wasn’t going to spend it with his wife.  I will never understand why this show felt it was necessary to spend so much time with this particular family.  They were all annoying, every single one of them.

This episode opened with a homeless man using an American flag as a blanket and then went on to feature a man selling American flags getting attacked.  That’s about as subtle as things got.  It’s interesting that the show previously established Dr. Craig as being a Republican but apparently, with this episode, viewers were expected to believe that he was not a fan of Ronald Reagan’s.

In other words, this was not a great episode.  This felt like the medical equivalent of one of those Law & Order episodes where all of the salt of the Earth cops start talking about how they never miss Morning Joe.  

Finally, I feel bad for Mrs. Hufnagle,  Even annoying people deserve good medical treatment!

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for Under Siege!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly watch parties.  On Twitter, I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday and I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday.  On Mastodon, I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  The movie?  1992’s Under Siege!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, find Under Siege on Prime, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there happily tweeting.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

See you there!

 

 

Song of the Day: Revenge of the Ninja by Robert J. Walsh


Today’s song of the day comes to us from the soundtrack of the 1983 film, Revenge of the Ninja.  Composed by Robert J. Walsh, this soundtrack will definitely leave you prepared to defeat all of your enemies, ninja-style!

(Actually, don’t try to do that without getting some training once.  I speak with the experience who sprained her ankle multiple times as a result of trying to duplicated Kate Beckinsale’s Underworld moves.)

Scenes That I Love: Rome, Open City


Since today is Roberto Rossellini’s birthday, today’s scene is one of the most powerful of all time.

From Rossellini’s 1945 anti-Nazi masterpiece, Rome, Open City, this scene features Anna Magnani as Pina. For the first part of the film, Pina has been a major character. We see much of occupied Rome through her eyes. We watch as she risks her life to help the Resistance and, because we’ve seen so many movies, we assume that the filmmakers will protect her because she’s the main character. In this devastating scene, Rossellini shows us that no one is safe in an occupied city, not even a pregnant woman.

It’s just another day in Rome.

John Milius later paid homage to this scene in Red Dawn.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Roberto Rossellini Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

120 years ago, on this date, the great Italian neorealist director (and husband of Ingrid Bergman and father of Isabella Rossellini), Roberto Rossellini was born in Rome.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Roberto Rossellini Films

Rome, Open City (1945, dir by Roberto Rossellini, DP: Ubaldo Arata)

Europe ’51 (1952, dir by Roberto Rossellini, DP: Aldo Tonti)

Fear (1954, dir by Roberto Rossellini, DP: Carlo Carlini, DP: Heinz Schnackertz)

Journey to Italy, (1954, dir by Roberto Rossellini, DP: Enzo Serafin)