As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.
Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, I will be hosting Destroy All Planets!
If you want to join this watch party, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Destroy All Planets on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!
Sam Neill has died at the age of 78. He has recently battled cancer but his family has released a statement saying that he was cancer-free at the time of his death. He passed away “surrounded by loved ones.”
And the world is mourning.
He was Dr. Alan Grant, the earnest scientist from Jurassic Park. He was the Russian who wanted to live in Montana in The Hunt For Red October. He was one of the most charismatic horror villains of all time in The Final Conflict. He classed up films like Event Horizon. His performance in In The Mouth Of Madness was one of the few to truly bring Lovecraft to life. On a personal level, he was one of those people who just seemed to radiate decency, whether he was promoting a film or talking about his farm.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.
This week, we start season 3!
Episode 3.1 “Father Figure: Part 1”
(Dir by Bruce MacDonald, originally aired on September 17th, 2003)
The third and fourth seasons of Degrassi: The Next Generation were Degrassi at its best so, over the upcoming year, we’ve got a lot to look forward to. Unfortunately, though, we have to start things off with some Emma drama.
The season premiere finds Emma in a bad mood. Yeah, that’s a shock, right? Emma was always in a bad mood. This time, she does have a somewhat legitimate grievance, even if, as usual, she seems to be totally unaware that other people have lives that don’t necessarily revolve around whatever she’s upset about at the moment. Her mother has always refused to tell Emma much about Shane McKay. Emma’s only memory of her father is visiting him in a clinic and Spike telling him that he couldn’t be a part of Emma’s life. Emma thinks that Shane was a doctor. Of course, all of us veteran Degrassi watchers know the truth. Shane McKay was a flakey high school student who suffered brain damage when he dropped acid and fell off a bridge.
Sean, quite sensibly, says that maybe Emma should just let it go for a bit, seeing as how she actually has a nice home and mother and stepfather who love her. (Emma often seems to forget that Sean has essentially been abandoned by his entire family.) Sean also points out that Spike is pregnant and doesn’t need the extra pressure of Emma constantly losing her temper. Realizing that Sean is making too much sense, Emma instead partners up with Craig and tracks down Shane. As the episode ends, she discovers that Shane (played by Jonathan Torrens) is living in an assisted living facility,
While all of that is going on, Paige is freaking out because of the location of her locker. Spinner makes a series of deals which leads to him eventually convincing new student Chris Sharpe (Daniel Keith Morrison) to trade lockers. Chris’s locker is located in Degrassi’s best hallway. Paige is happy about that. But the locker still looks old and dingy. Paige would rather have Jimmy’s locker. Good luck with that, Paige. Despite agreeing to set aside their differences at the last school dance, Jimmy is back to hating Spinner.
This episode also features the return of Caitlin Ryan, who comes back Toronto for Spike’s baby shower. (The creepy Farrell twins show up too. AGCK!) Caitlin meets Joey’s new girlfriend, realtor Sydney (Elisa Moolecherry). Before realizing who Sydney is, Caitlin rambles on about how she and Joey have such a complicated romantic history. This was the episode in which Caitlin was suddenly changed from being a level-headed professional woman to a neurotic klutz who continually got into awkward situations.
This is a two-part episode. We’ll conclude the story of Shane McKay next week!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.
This week, Brodie gets a storyline, Luther Mahoney continues to destroy lives, and Pembleton’s marriage collapses. It’s a busy few days in Baltimore.
Episode 5.16 “Valentine’s Day”
(Dir by Clark Johnson, originally aired on February 14th, 1997)
When a man is found dead in the apartment of Alan Schack (Neil Patrick Harris), Detective Munch assume that it was a case of suicide. However, Brodie went to school with Schack and is convinced that he’s the murderer. Munch refuses to take Brodie serious but, luckily, Sgt. Howard is more open-minded. After Alan beats up Brodie and leaves him on a snowy street, Brodie leaves Baltimore because he knows he’ll never get over the shame of being beaten up Neil Patrick Harris. Just kidding! Instead, Brodie doctors a tape to make it seem as if the police have evidence of Alan killing the victim. Alan falls for it because …. I guess he’s just really stupid. Like seriously, wouldn’t Alan have — at the very least — noticed that he was dressed totally different on videotape than he was on the day he committed the murder? Or does Alan just wear the same outfit day after day?
When two seemingly unrelated bombs go off, Kellerman and Bayliss find themselves investigating a — all together now! — “red ball!” Their investigation eventually leads them to the son of the grocer who was murdered by Luther Mahoney a few episodes ago. The bombs are being sent to the people who the son blames for Luther getting away with murder. One bomb is sent to the courthouse. “Lewis is at the courthouse!” Bayliss exclaims. “So is Julianna!” Kellerman says. Well, that’s convenient.
Frank and Mary Pembleton attend marriage counseling. It doesn’t go well. Frank finally agrees to allow their newborn daughter to be baptized despite the fact that he’s still struggling with his faith. Mary, however, still leaves Frank afterwards. She takes their daughter with her. Frank is left alone in their home, staring at an empty crib.
And finally, due to budget cutbacks, Giardello has to dust his own office!
On the plus side, I related to Giardello’s need to dust. As a sometimes struggling Catholic, I appreciated that the show took seriously Mary’s concerns about their daughter dying outside of a State of Grace.
Unfortunately, the rest of the episode just felt off. Neil Patrick Harris as a tough guy drug dealer? Nope. Sorry. I loved NPH as Dr. Horrible but I’m still not buying it. As for the bombing storyline, it felt almost like a parody of an episode of Homicide. Oh no! There’s a bomb at the courthouse and Lewis and Dr. Cox just happen to be standing right outside the doorway!
I regret to say it but this episode just didn’t work for me.
I’ve starting my summer job of writing about Big Brother at Reality TV Chat Blog. In honor of that, today’s song of the day is the little-remembered theme song from the first season of Big Brother!
After listening to this, you’ll understand why they’ve gone with an instrumental theme song from season two on.
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
96 years ago today, the great director Monte Hellman was born in New York City. Though Hollywood never quite understood Hellman or his idiosyncratic vision, he and his films have inspired a countless number of independent filmmakers. Hellman started his career with Roger Corman and was one of the first directors to recognize the talent of actors like Jack Nicholson and Warren Oates. When Monte Hellman passed away in 2021, he was eulogized as one of the key figures of the Hollywood counterculture. Today, we celebrate Hellman and his films with….
4 Shots From 4 Monte Hellman Films
The Shooting (1966, dir by Monte Hellman, DP: Gregory Sandor)
Two-Lane Blacktop (1971, dir by Monte Hellman, DP: Jack Deerson)
Cockfighter (1974, dir by Monte Hellman, DP: Nestor Almendros)
China 9, Liberty 38 (1978, dir by Monte Hellman, DP: Guiseppe Rotunno)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Jessie’s so excited!
Episode 2.9 “Jessie’s Song”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 3rd, 1990)
This is it. This is the episode of Saved By The Bell that everyone knows.
Jessie gets hooked on caffeine pills!
“I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so …. SCARED!”
Along with Running Zack, this is the episode that the show will never live down. In a 2o16 interview, Peter Engel stated that the script originally had Jessie getting hooked on amphetamines but NBC said they wouldn’t air the show if there were any references to “hard drugs.” The script was changed to have Jessie get hooked on over-the-counter caffeine pills.
I’m not sure the episode would have played any better if it had featured amphetamines. When I was younger, there were times when I accidentally took more of my ADHD meds than I should have and my behavior was nothing like Jessie’s in this episode. The scene where Jessie starts yelling in the Maxx about how she and Kelly and the show’s Lisa are going to beat out their competition for a record contract can only lead me to conclude that absolutely no one on the show had ever taken speed at any point in their life.
That’s the thing that makes this episode so memorable, though. Everyone remembers Zack waking up Jessie and Jessie screaming, “I’m so excited!” It’s a cringey moment but, honestly, the entire episode is a cringey moment. The only thing about his episode that feels in any way authentic is Mario Lopez’s performance as Slater.
(Seriously, Lopez was this show’s secret weapon. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Tiffani Thiessen, Elizabeth Berkley, and Lark Voorhies eventually developed into good actors towards the end of the show. Out of respect for the deceased, I won’t comment on Dustin Diamond’s talents. But Mario Lopez was strong and believable from the start of the series.)
How cringey is this episode?
Screech puts on a dress and a wig and speaks with a bad Irish accent and all of the girls in the locker room believe him when he says that he’s related to Sinead O’Connor. “You taught her everything she knows!?” the show’s Lisa exclaims.
Zack is somehow able to produce, in just one day, a professional music video for Jessie, Kelly, and Lisa’s group, Hot Sundae.
That music video — oh God, the music video! It couldn’t be more 80s if it tried. The girls dance while wearing workout outfits and singing. Who wrote the song that they’re singing? Did Zack come up with it? To be honest, the video’s not that bad. It just feels extremely …. suburban. Would there have been room for Hot Sundae in 1990? Probably not. I doubt MTV was going to switch to a grunge, rap, and Hot Sundae format.
What about Jessie’s fantasy about having to go to a party school? Actually, that made me laugh. I went to a party school and I had fun. Plus, Mr. Dewey says “Cowabunga.” Still, as a general rule, any Saved By The Bell fantasy sequence automatically qualifies as cringe.
But, in the end, this will always be the “I’m so excited!” episode. Poor Elizabeth Berkley is probably so sick of people quoting that line to her. In his dubious autobiography, Dustin Diamond poked fun at his co-stars for thinking they were all giving great performances in this episode. As was often the case with Diamond, this judgment says more about his flaws than those of his co-stars. Of course the actors though they were all giving great performances. They were teenagers! They had an excuse for not knowing better. The adults, however….
In the end, Hot Sundae misses its chance for stardom because of Jessie’s freakout. It’s a good thing they’ve all got Zack Attack to fall back on.
Originally, I wasn’t going to watch Big Brother this season but I gave in. Watching this show and getting annoyed is pretty much a tradition around these parts and you know me. I’m all about tradition. You can read my thoughts (and Erin’s thoughts!) about the show over at RealityTVChatBlog.
The Contender (Prime)
I watched two episodes of this old reality show on Tuesday. A group of boxers competed to be …. THE CONTENDER! They weren’t bad. I actually remember when this show aired way back in the aughts. Sylvester Stallone was the host for the first two seasons. The episodes I watched were hosted by Sugar Ray Leonard.
Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)
My review of Homicide will drop tomorrow.
Saved By The Bell (Tubi)
My review of Saved By The Bell will drop later tonight.
Sledgehammer! (Prime)
I watched an episode of this 80s comedy show on Friday. A contract was put out on Sledgehammer’s life so he hid with with Amish. It was a funny episode.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, Baywatch concludes the two storylines that began in the previous episode. Will Mitch get over his guilt? Will Eddie be able to keep his job? Who will star in this week’s slow motion monologue? These are the important questions that come with saving lives for a living.
Episode 2.10 “The Trophy, Part Two”
(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 18th, 1991)
The beach is in chaos!
Bitter over being in a wheelchair and also being single, Turner continues to take dangerous risks. At one point, he decides to go hang-gliding to prove that not being able to walk doesn’t have to keep anyone from flying. At another point, we get one of those priceless Baywatch montages where Turner imagines himself being able run down the beach.
Mitch still feels guilty over Turner’s condition but eventually, even Mitch has to kneel down beside the guy and say that enough is enough. And really, that’s all it takes. Turner accepts that his ex, Megan, is now dating a hunky marine biologist named Ross and he moves on. Megan was played by Vanessa Angel and, according to the imdb, this was her final appearance on Baywatch. This was also Daniel Quinn’s final appearance as Turner. So I guess that storyline’s now over. Mitch still seemed to be feeling pretty guilty but he’ll have to learn how to deal with that on his own because Eric Turner is out of here!
(Quinn would go on to play two other characters on Baywatch and he also had a role in the Baywatch spin-off, Pacific Blue. I guess someone in the head office really liked him.)
Meanwhile, Eddie is bitter because, after being arrested for statutory rape, he’s been suspended from being a lifeguard. Well, Eddie, that’s life. That’s pretty much what would happen to any lifeguard in those circumstances. Eddie spends a lot of time on this show demanding to be treated like everyone else and then getting angry when it happens.
When Eddie’s accuser, Caroline (played by a young A.J, Langer), attempts to commit suicide by jumping off the pier, Shauni is there to rescue her. Having been rescued from drowning, Caroline confesses that she made up the story about Eddie because she wanted to impress her friends on the beach. Eddie is reinstated and Caroline says that she’s going to return home to Pennsylvania and get some psychiatric help.
This episode was pretty anti-climatic. For all the dramatic potential of Mitch’s guilt, Caroline’s accusations, and Eddie’s bitterness, both stories pretty much just ended with the sources of all the drama agreeing to live somewhere other than California. If only life was always that simple!
In the end, this episode was typical Baywatch. Yes, there was some drama. But the most important thing was always getting the next montage.
Through the Shattered Lens 