Tag Archives: Donald James Parker

October Positivity: Old Rugged Cross (dir by Donald James Parker)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2016’s Old Rugged Cross, Pastor Evan Shepherd (played by the film’s director, Donald James Parker) is looking for a new church.  He feels that he lost his way at his old church, becoming more concerned with money and prestige than with leading the people to God.  He was also accused of “sexual improprieties” with a member of the congregation but he’s quick to point that none of the accusations were actually proven.  Evan was set up and he left town because he was feeling burned out.

But now, he’s ready to return to preaching.  He rents out and reopens a previously abandoned church called the Old Rugged Cross.  He worships on Saturday morning.  He delivers messages from God to those who attend.  He only occasionally preaches a sermon and he doesn’t make a big deal out of tithing.  He’s not in it for the money or the prestige anymore.  And, if you have any doubts, he’ll talk to you about them.  And by talk, I mean that he will just ramble on and on and on.  This film will seriously test how much patience you have for an old man who never makes a point twice when he can make it three times instead.

Pastor Luke Wolfe (David Vanergriff) views Evan and the Old Rugged Cross as a threat.  Wolfe is the pastor at Victory Church and all he cares about is bringing in enough money so that he can redesign the church and have the biggest sanctuary in town.  He’s cold and distant from the people who attend his church and his little time to listen to their problems.  He’s also single.  He wants to marry Anita (Kelly Nelon Clark), Victory’s pianist, but she starts attending the Old Rugged Cross.  In fact, all sorts of people are abandoning Victory Church for the Old Rugged Cross.

At a meeting of all the local protestant pastors, Wolfe challenged Evan on his style of worship.  Evan responds by talking about W.C. Fields searching the bible on his deathbed because he was looking for a loophole….

Yes, this is another Donald James Parker film and it has all of the things that one typically associates with his productions.  The scenes drag out interminably.  The acting is abysmal.  There’s a strange obsession with filming characters sitting in restaurants and debating religion.  Early on in the film, there’s a scene of Evan and Anita talking in a restaurant.  It goes on for what feels like 15 minutes.  Before you can even breathe a sigh of relief that the scene is over, we then suddenly cut to the next night and Anita having a conversation with Luke Wolfe while sitting at the exact same table in the exact same restaurant.  Just when you think you’ve escaped, the films drags you back in!  It would perhaps have helped if Parker had occasionally moved the camera during these lengthy scenes but that sort of thing just isn’t a part of his directorial aesthetic.

As with many of Parker’s films, Old Rugged Cross is, at times, a rather angry film.  Evan may be an old man but he still often comes across as if he’s about to hit someone.  His dislike of Luke Wolfe feels as much personal as theological which is really not a good look for a pastor.  Seriously, you don’t want to get on Evan Shepherd’s bad side!

October Positivity: One More Round (dir by Chip Rossetti)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

2015’s One More Round tells the story of Jack “The Jackhammer” Taylor (played by Tommy Lee Thomas).

Once upon a time, Jack Taylor was a big-time boxer, a contender to be worldwide champ.  But eventually, he burned out on boxing.  On the night of the “big fight,” he failed to show up.  Now, he works at a furniture store.  He spends most of his time sleeping and having dreams of the life he once had.  When he makes a big sale, his boss tries to steal Jack’s commission.  That’s not a good thing because Jack really needs that commission.  His wife is getting frustrated with Jack’s inability to get his life together.  His scheming mother-in-law all sorts of lies about him.  Jack’s in trouble!

Finally, Jack does the one thing that he swore he would never do again.  He returns to boxing.  He steps into the gym that is owned by his uncle (Kevin Sorbo) and asks for another chance.  He trains with Franco Turelli (Franco Columbu).  He prepares for the fight against the fearsome B.A. Fontana (T.C. Stallings), a fighter who is so aggressive that he even takes a swing at a referee at one point.  Throughout it all, Jack prays and feels that God is leading him back into the ring.

Along with Kevin Sorbo, there are some familiar faces in One More Round.  Jeremy London appears as Brock Thornhill (now there’s a villainous name!), a man who courts Jack’s wife during their separation.  Donald James Parker of Gramps Goes To College fame appears as one of Jack’s co-workers.  It’s actually interesting to see Parker here because this is one of the few Donald James Parker performances in which he’s not playing a character who comes across as being super-aggressive and bitter.  Instead, he just comes across as being a nice old man who reads the Bible and offers up spiritual advice.  Parker’s character here comes across as who Parker was trying to play in Gramps Goes To College before that film became about Gramps telling off all the pointy-headed, liberal intellectuals who make up the academic world.  This film features the nice version of Gramps!

That said, the majority of this movie is taken up with boxing.  I actually like most boxing films.  There’s something thrilling about watching two men punch each other until one of them collapses.  I mean, it’s the type of thing to which I should probably object on humanitarian grounds but I can’t help myself.  Boxing is (usually) exciting.  The best boxing films present the fight as being modern-day gladiatorial combat.  Unfortunately, the boxing scenes in One More Round aren’t particularly impressive.  The low-budget is obvious as the film cuts from scenes inside the ring to shots of people in the audience, all pretending to be watching a boxing match.  Neither one of the actors playing the boxers is particularly believable as a professional fighter.

In the end, I always have my doubts about any film that suggests that God picks sides when it comes to sports.  I’d like to think that God would be like me and just hope that both teams have fun.

October Positivity: Beauty and the Atheist (dir by Donald James Parker)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2026’s Beauty and the Atheist, Beau Davidson plays Trey Crawford.  Trey is one of the country’s most popular atheist podcasters.  He spends his entire show making fun of creationists and the makers of Christian movies.  When he discovers that Douglas Connors (Donald James Parker), the star of Gramps Goes to College, is living nearby, Trey decides to invite him on the podcast for a debate.

Now, already, this is just a smidgen more interesting than the usual Douglas James Parker film.  Parker is essentially playing himself but he’s calling himself Douglas Connors.  This film seems to acknowledge that Gramps Goes To College has a certain Room-like reputation.  Could this be a Donald James Parker film that actually has a sense of humor about itself?

Douglas reluctantly goes on Trey’s podcast, expecting to get ambushed by a slick podcaster who hides his own bitterness and personal failings behind a bunch of scientific terms.  And that’s exactly what happens.  Douglas is earnest and polite.  Trey is snarky and angry.  Even Douglas admits that he lost the debate.

Meanwhile, Trey has fallen for Jeweli (Tara Massey), a woman who he keeps spotting in his local coffeehouse.  (It wouldn’t be a Donald James Parker film without a coffeehouse.)  What Trey doesn’t know is that Jeweli is the daughter of Douglas Connors!  And she’s a believer.  Soon, the Atheist has fallen for the beautiful Christian which …. actually, I knew quite a few couples where one partner is religious and the other is not.  It’s not really that unusual of a thing.

Beauty and the Atheist is a smidgen better than the usual Donald James Parker film, largely because Beau Davidson and Tara Massey are better performers than usually appear in Parker’s films.  As well, the scenes set in Davidson’s podcast studio actually require Parker to make some lighting and design choices as opposed to just turning on the camera.  Interestingly enough, despite the film’s premise, Beauty and the Atheist is not quite as aggressive as some of Parker’s other films.  There’s one rather lengthy scenes in which Douglas explains all of the tricks that Trey supposedly used to make him lose the debate but otherwise, this film is far less angry than something like Operation Unite or, for that matter, Gramps Goes To College.

That said, it’s still a Donald James Parker film. This is yet another film where the atheist is an atheist because of family trauma.  Now, to be honest, I’ve met any number of atheists where that stereotype is indeed true.  But it still feels a bit too easy of a  narrative excuse.  On a technical level, the sound recording is often abysmal.  While Davidson and Massey are adequate in their roles, the rest of the cast delivers their lines flatly.  As for the dialogue, it’s sometimes a blessing that it’s hard to hear what the characters are saying.  Most of it falls flat and the attempts at humor are painful to watch.  When Jeweli’s sister comes across some evidence online that she thinks will put Trey in his place, she literally shouts, “Eureka!”  It’s hard to listen to and hard to watch.

 

October Positivity: Operation Unite (dir by Donald James Parker)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

2024’s Operation Unite opens with a man standing at the front of a church and announcing that God has told him that one of the members, a blank-faced young man named Brent (Greg Carnes), is going to be a very important person in the future.  Everyone in the church is really excited, despite the fact that Brent comes across as being a little goony.

Meanwhile, at another church, Pastor Friar (Brian Scott Gilmore), peaches against “charismatic” churches.  His daughter, Kaitlyn (Kaylee Keller), feels somewhat dissatisfied with her father’s sermon but she can’t really put it into words.  Kaitlyn is 20 and she knows that she should be free to pick her own church to attend but, since she’s living at home, she has to do what her father wants.  Her father wants her to attend his mainstream Protestant church.  So be it.

When Brent sees Kaitlyn in a coffeeshop, he tells his friend that God has just told him that he’s meant to be with Kaitlyn.  Normally, I’d say “Yikes!” but this film presents this as being a positive development.  Kaitlyn leaves without talking to Brent but Brent says it doesn’t matter.  If God wants them to be together, he’ll run into Kaitlyn again.  Double yikes!

And Brent does run into Kaitlyn again.  Soon, they’re dating!  But how will Pastor Friar react when he discovers that his daughter is dating the newly-appointed youth minister of a charismatic church?

This film is about the conflict between different branches of Protestantism.  That’s actually kind of an interesting idea and that’s certainly something you would never expect to see a mainstream film attempt to tackle.  Most movies just tend to assume that all protestants are a part of the same generic church.  In this film, Friar views the charismatics as being heretics and the charismatics view Pastor Friar and his congregation as being not in touch with God.  Myself, I’m a Catholic so, as far as I’m concerned, they’re all heretics.

Interesting premise aside, this has all of the problems that one usually finds with low-budget religious films.  The pace is deadly slow, the acting is amateurish, and the script is full of little character moments that ring as being either forced or hollow.  I’ve seen a few Donald James Parker films and this definitely is one.  Conversations tend to go on forever.  It’s obvious that the filmmakers had no idea how to use something editing to create narrative momentum.  Nearly every shot is static and uninteresting.  It’s honestly difficult to watch.

Like a lot of Parker’s film, there are moments in the film when a surprising and rather disagreeable hostility bubbles up.  When Brent’s youth group singing a hymn, Brent responds by scolding them for not sounding properly enthusiastic and it really does seem to go on forever.  When Brent and Pastor Friar debate their beliefs, Brent comes across as if he’s about to take a swing at the man who he wants to be his future father-in-law.  Self-righteous, perpetually angry, and kind of dull to look at, Brent is simply not a likable character.  Not even taking into account their religious differences, I felt like Kaitlyn needed to get as far away from Brent as possible.

This movie is all about building a bridge across denominations.  I just hope they eventually found a more reliable engineer than Brent.

October Positivity: In Gramps’ Shoes (dir by Chip Rossetti)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

2013’s In Gramps’ Shoes opens with Ty (Donald James Parker) praying that his daughter, Amy (Francine Locke), will finally call him.  It’s been 20 years since they last spoke.  Amy felt that Ty — or “Gramps” as he’s eventually known — was too controlling when she was growing up.  He didn’t approve of her music.  He didn’t approve of the man she married.  When she left home, she went to Tennessee and promised herself that she would never look back.

However, Amy is now in some trouble.  Her husband has left her.  Her teenage son, Scott (Andrew Wilson Williams), is a slacker who smokes on the porch with his loser friends and who refuses to even consider getting a part-time job to help pay the bills.  Her daughter, Sally (Brittany Blades), is a bit more responsible but she’s been reading Harry Potter and that could lead to her becoming a witch.  Amy is also nearly broke.  She finally swallows her pride and calls Gramps to ask for help.

Soon, Gramps has moved down to Tennessee.  At first, Scott and his friends are dismissive of Gramps.  But then they watch as Gramps beats Scott in a two-mile race.  They watch as Gramps does pull-ups at a local park.  They all marvel at how athletic Gramps is.  Scott decides that he wants to run just like Gramps.  But first, Scott is going to have to work on his attitude and start going to church….

This film has a lot of problems, from the poor ADR to the bad acting to the script that allows certain scenes to drag on without end.  This film is nearly two hours long and you will definitely feel every one of those 115 minutes.  Even the running scenes are a bit disappointing because no one really looks like they’re in good enough condition to be a track star.  Everyone in the film talks about how good Gramps looks but Gramps actually spends the majority of the film looking like he might collapse at any moment.

The main problem with the film is Gramps is a kind of a jerk.  From the minute he shows up in Tennessee, he’s giving orders and we can tell why his daughter thought he was too controlling.  He moves in and immediately starts to tell Amy how to raise her son.  Because Gramps goes to church, he demands that his grandchildren come with him.  (Keep in mind, he doesn’t ask them to go to a church.  He tells them that they have to come to his church.)  He makes it clear that his grandchildren won’t be watching anything fantasy-related (like a Harry Potter movie) as long as he’s around.  Gramps isn’t just opinionated.  Instead, he comes across as being angry and rather aggressive.  And yet, everyone just loves to be around him.

In this film, Parker appears to be playing the same character that he played in Gramps Goes To College.  However, there’s a plot development that makes it impossible for this to be a prequel to Gamps Goes To College.  At the same time, Gramps first gets his nickname in this film which means that Gramps Goes To College also couldn’t be considered a sequel.  It’s not the film’s biggest problem but it is something that bothers a continuity nerd like me.

Despite all of those problems, this film does end with a priceless final line.  Is Scott going to go prom with his new girlfriend?  Actually, Scott might “lead a protest against Harry Potter …. because it’s what Gramps would have wanted.”  The film is almost worth watching just to hear that one line.

Almost.

October Positivity: Gramps Goes To College (dir by Chip Rossetti)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The title character of 2014’s Gramps Goes To College may be known as Gramps but his actual named Ty Bounds. Played by Donald James Parker, Ty is a sixty-something resident of South Dakota who has recently retired from his job as a computer programmer. Despite being retired, Ty is not ready to fade away. In fact, he’s decided that it’s time to start a new chapter in his life so he enrolls in a college that is located in Tennessee. He hopes to eventually get his Master’s Degree in Biology.

Good luck with that, Gramps!

Gramps, you see, is a Christian and a believer in creationism. No sooner does he step into his Into to Biology class than he finds himself arguing with Professor Tucker (Carol Anderson). Tucker takes pride in turning religious students into atheists. She sees Ty as a challenge. She invites him to lunch. She invites him to dinner. She tries to seduce him. Nothing that she does can convince Ty to believe in evolution. Darwin wasn’t evil, Ty explains at one point. He was just misguided by the Devil.

Ty becomes a hero on campus and he even starts his own team of Christian athletes so that they can compete in the school’s Intramural competition. He becomes a mentor to his roommate, Brad (Rusty Martin). Ty worries that Brad is bein led astray by Stephanie (Courtney Lee Simpson). When Brad comes back to the dorm after a party, Ty demands to know why Brad reeks of alcohol. Can you imagine going away to college and discovering that your new roommate is not only old enough to be your grandfather but that he’s also going to scold you whenever you stay out late? Yikes!

(As I watched this movie, I was reminded of how, when I was in college, there was a student who was in her forties and who lived in the dorms. I always felt a little bit sorry for her. She was given a private room and people treated her respectfully — certainly more respectfully than they treat Gramps in this film — but I always wondered what it was like to be an adult, trying to finally get a degree, and finding yourself living in a dorm occupied by brats like …. well, like me. I’ve always told myself that if I ever run into her again, I’ll apologize for all those nights I played my music too loud. I’m older now so I understand why that would be annoying.)

Eventually, Stephanie dies of alcohol poisoning but she’s revived. She talks about how, while she was dead, all she saw were the flames of Hell. Well, that’s one way to get someone convert.

Gramps Goes To College is a fairly amateurish film. That’s not really a surprise. If anything did surprise me, it was how wrathful Gramps came across as being. To be honest, I was expecting a corny “old person” comedy. Instead, Gramps spent a lot of time suggesting that different people and ideas had been sent by the Devil. In the film, Gramps becomes a beloved celebrity on campus. He even gets Professor Tucker to doubt her atheism, despite the fact that none of his arguments seem to be anything that Tucker would not have heard before. To be honest, Gramps kind of comes across as being kind of a crank. His intentions may have been benevolent but he was so preachy and so frequently angry that he was often more intimidating than inspiring.

Myself, I’m just glad that I went to a party school and I didn’t actually have to pay attention in any of my classes. That’s the best way to do the college!