Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 5.1 “Reckoning”

Posted on October 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, we start the fifth and final season of Pacific Blue.

Episode 5.1 “Reckoning”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on July 18th, 1999)

The fifth season begins with an episode that, even by the standards of Pacific Blue, is problematic and dumb. Where to begin?

This episode picks up from where the fourth season ended. John Patrone is dead. Bruce Best (Kevin McClatchy), the father of a teenage girl who killed herself after being raped by Patrone, has been arrested for the crime. Bobby has been arrested for tossing the rifle that Patrone used in the harbor. Because Bobby discussed his plans with Granger, Jamie, and Monica, they’ve all been suspended from the force pending the results of an Internal Affairs investigation.

When Assistant District Attorney Tucker (Michelle Clunie) meets with Bobby and TC, Bobby does the usual smug act that all of the members of the bike patrol do whenever they’re in trouble. Bobby starts making demands for a deal that will protect the other three rookies. Tucker proceeds to charge Bobby with being an accessory to first degree murder. Ha! Take that, Bobby.

TC files a formal complaint against Susan Jessop of Internal Affairs, accusing her of sexual harassment and bias. Jessop is taken off the case but Jessop’s boss, Captain Sharp (Gretchen German), turns out to be just as strange as Jessop. (If I had to guess, I’d say that Holly Gaginer had some sort of scheduling conflict that kept her from returning as Jessop and the writers just crossed out Jessop’s name in the script and substitued Sharp’s.) TC is suspended from his command. Cory is named the new temporary commander of Pacific Blue. Cory is also the union rep for the three rookies who are being investigated. How can she both be in management and the union at the same time?

Chris gets mad at TC for getting suspended. She wants to transfer to Homicide and now, being married to him could be a career liability. They have a big argument on the pier. Cory, who really should be too busy running the department to get involved in any of this, sits on her bicycle on watches.

When it’s time for Bruce and Bobby to be taken to the courthouse for their arraignment, a man fires a shot at Bruce. Bruce falls to the ground. Oh wait, that’s not Bruce. That’s TC disguised at Bruce! And luckily, he was wearing a bulletproof vest! Patrone’s lawyer, Steve Plana (Eddie Garcia), is arrested for setting up the assassination attempt.

In the courtroom, veteran television producer Steven J. Cannell shows up as the no-nonsense judge. Tucker starts to call witnesses. Things aren’t looking good for Bobby and Bruce. Suddenly, Father Crane (John Kirby) stands up in the back of the court and announces that Bobby and Bruce are innocent. Father Crane first explains that he was the one who threw the rifle into the harbor. He says he did it after Bobby came to him for advice. Father Crane then goes on to say that he was the one who shot Patrone because that was the only way to stop Patrone’s reign of terror. Bobby and Bruce have been covering for him!

Bobby and Bruce are released and exonerated. Father Crane is convicted. TC later visits Crane in jail and says that he knows Crane is lying about both killing Patrone and tossing the rifle in the harbor. TC mentions that Crane is going to be transferred to a state prison where Patrone “had a lot of friends.” What TC, who has been reinstated as commander of Pacific Blue, does not do is apparently tell anyone that Crane is obviously not guilty. For his part, Crane says that it will be a chance for him to minister to those who really need it. You know, Father Crane, you could have just applied to be a prison chaplain. You didn’t have to confess to a murder you didn’t commit.

Bobby takes the recovered rifle and gives it back to Bruce. Bobby admits that Crane lied about tossing the gun. Bruce admits that he killed Patrone. Bobby says that he still feels like Bruce did the right thing. Bruce thanks Bobby for looking out for him. Hey, guys, there’s an innocent man — A PRIEST! — going to prison for you idiots! Is that somehow not an issue?

Chris tells TC that she knows Father Crane lied about being the murderer. She also says that she doesn’t feel like TC deserves his command. He let Bobby get away with destruction of evidence. He’s letting Bruce get away with murder. Finally, someone’s speaking some sense! Not that it matters. The episode ends with the conversation. Knowing Pacific Blue, I doubt any of this will ever be brought up again.

This episode really annoyed me. Father Crane is going to prison but I guess we’re not supposed to care because at least Bobby is off the hook. Does anyone on Pacific Blue ever take responsibility for their mistakes? This is the fourth episode to feature Jamie complaining about Internal Affairs harassing her because she lied on her application to become a police officer. Gee, Jamie — MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE LIED IN THE FIRST PLACE! And now Bobby has basically decided that some murders are okay. Where does it end with these people?

At least this is the last season.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.22 “The Right Thing”

Posted on October 6, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the fourth season comes to a close.

Episode 4.22 “The Right Thing”

(Dir by John B. Moranville, originally aired on April 25th, 1999)

Businessman John Patrone (Fred Saldone) has negotiated a peace treaty between two gangs, one black and one Latino. Finally, there will be peace in Santa Monica! However, at a rally to celebrate the treaty, a sniper shoots Patrone dead. At first, I was amazed that the police didn’t have anyone on those rooftops to prevent something like this from happening. Then I realized that security for the rally was being provided solely by Pacific Blue. Of course, the bicycle cops would screw this up.

Despite the fact that John Patrone was a major figure in Santa Monica, we never see any Homicide detectives working the case. Instead, it somehow falls to the bicycle cops to investigate. What they discover is that, despite his altruistic image, Patrone was actually a monster who sold weapons and drugs to the gangs and who raped and impregnated the daughter of Bruce Best (Kevin McClatchey). Bruce’s daughter killed herself and that’s why Bruce assassinated Patrone.

Bruce doesn’t make any effort to disguise the fact that he killed Patrone. He admits it to Bobby, Granger, Jamie, and Monica. However, the four rookie cops are convinced that Patrone deserved to die and that Bruce did “the right thing” by shooting him. In a move that is totally out-of-character for him, Bobby decides to throw all of the evidence implicating Bruce into harbor. Unfortunately, Bobby is being watched by Susan Jessup (Holly Gagnier) of Internal Affairs. Susan goes to TC and offers to let Bobby off the hook in exchange for sex. (As ludicrous a character as Susan may be, Holly Gagnier’s wonderfully unhinged performance was the highlight of the episode.) TC replies that he will arrest Bobby and Bruce personally. This episode ends with a cliffhanger as all four of our rookies pose for their mugshots.

Meanwhile, Chris and Cory deal with a teenager who wants to shoot himself out of a cannon. It’s a bit odd that the bike patrol’s two most experienced cops aren’t working the Patrone murder but whatever. I’ve given up on trying to follow Pacific Blue logic.

We’ll find out the fates of Bobby, Jamie, Granger, and Monica next week, when we start the final season of Pacific Blue. I really can’t wait for all this to be over with!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.9 “The Brink of Death”

Posted on April 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, OJ has some wisdom to share.

Episode 3.8 “The Brink of Death”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on November 4th, 1987)

There’s a lot happening in this week’s episode.

For instance, Bubba and Jethro now own the bar where all of the Bulls hang out. To be honest, I thought they always owned the bar but apparently, they didn’t. As I’ve said a few times in the past, the way these episodes were edited for syndication occasionally makes it a bit difficult to actually follow the storyline.

Wide receiver Billy Cooper (Michael Toland) was kidnapped by Stuart (Richard Tanner), the nerdy guy whose girlfriend Billy stole. Stuart wrapped up Billy in a straight jacket, forced him to wear a “Dumb Jock” label on his forehead, and then filmed him screaming in fear of a bunch of fire ants. Billy’s girlfriend dumped him because Stuart was “more interesting.”

But the main plotline dealt with Dr. Death, the defensive player who was played by Donald Gibbs. While playing against Oakland, many of the Bulls were tackled by Joe “The Terminator” Morgan (Andre Newman), a notoriously dirty player. Dr. Death decided to get revenge by tackling Joe Morgan during a kick return, even though Joe had signaled for something called a fair catch. (I guess that meant that no one was supposed to touch Joe.) Joe Morgan ended up in the hospital. The owner of the Oakland team pressured Joe to press assault charges against Dr. Death, who was already feeling guilty about injuring Joe as severely as he did.

It was up to O.J. Simpson to talk some sense into Joe Morgan. O.J. went to the hospital and told Joe that football was all about getting injured. O.J. asked Joe if this was the way he wanted to go out.

By appealing to Joe’s desire to be remembered as a killer football player, OJ is able to convince Joe to drop the charges.

(I should mention that OJ himself was an early contender for the role of the actual Terminator.)

O.J. Simpsons saved the day again!

An Eric Roberts Holiday Film Review: A Karate Christmas Miracle (dir by Julie Kimmel)

Posted on December 15, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2019’s A Karate Christmas Miracle, young Jesse Genesis (Mario Del Vecchio) believes that if he can become a black belt in four days, his father — who has been missing for a year — will return home. Jesse’s mother, Abby (Mila Milosevic) tries to get Jesse to understand that his father was abducted and probably murdered by a killer clown. Eventually, trying to understand what happened to her husband, Abby teams up with Elizabeth (Julie McCullough), a quirky law professor who is also psychic.

This is a strange film. Eric Roberts and Martin Kove are listed as co-starring in the film but actually, all of their footage appears to have been lifted from 2015’s Joker’s Poltergeist, a film that stylistically and thematically has next to nothing in common with A Karate Christmas Miracle. Scenes of Jesse practicing karate and trying to work his way up to black belt in just six days are mixed with scenes of Eric Roberts threatening to kill people and Martin Kove rambling about he wants to leave a movie theater to his daughter. The scenes just don’t mix but they do show that if Eric Roberts and Martin Kove aren’t available to do your bad movie, you can just lift scenes of them from an even worse movie.

Sitting through A Karate Christmas Miracle is a bit of a struggle. It’s only 81 minutes long but every scene still goes on for too long and the dialogue is full of overly quirky moments that probably sounded great in the writer’s head but which play out very awkwardly on film. This movie really made me appreciate films that are actually edited in a professional manner. We tend to take good editing for granted. This movie reminds us not to.

Now, to be honest, the story did have some potential. A child is so desperate for his father to return that he sets an impossible goal for himself. Seriously, in the right hands, this could have been a real tearjerker. But everything about A Karate Christmas Miracle just feels off. The film works itself towards an heartfelt ending that it really hasn’t earned.

Perhaps the best thing that can be said about this film is that it’s still better than Joker’s Poltergeist.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

The Eric Roberts Collection: The Savant (dir by Sherri Kauk)

Posted on May 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I swear, I will sit through the worst films for the promise of an Eric Roberts cameo.

Roberts is only featured in about two minutes of 2019’s The Savant. According to the credits, he was playing a character named Lonnie. At one point, he called the film’s hero, police officer Nick Tantino (Frank Giglio), and had a nonsensical conversation with him while he was arresting a random person. I’m not really sure who Lonnie was supposed to be and the scene had very little to do with the film’s story. In fact, the scene just randomly occurred. I’m going to guess that the film needed to be padded out and someone said, “Let’s call Eric Roberts and add another name to the cast.”

Eric Roberts is not the only familiar face to show up in the film.

Martin Kove plays a literature professor who is also a sensei. One of his former students, an evil District Attorney named Zane Carroll (played by Eric Etebari), calls him for advice.

Former TV actress Joyce DeWitt plays a detective. Her partner, who tells a lot of bad jokes, is played by comedian and former Howard Stern flunky, Jackie Martling.

Veteran genre actress Julie McCullough plays a judge, who screams at a defense attorney.

Thomas G. Waites, who was one of The Warriors, plays a police chief.

Robert Loggia shows up as Dr. Reno, a psychiatrist who bellows at everyone and who explains how the savant mind works. Of all the “names” in the film, Loggia gets the most screentime. Interestingly enough, Loggia died in 2015 and The Savant was released four years later. I’m not sure when The Savant was actually filmed but considering how messy the film is and how many plot points are brought up and then abandoned and also the fact that the characters often look totally different from scene-to-scene, I’m going to guess shooting went on for a while.

As for the film, it’s about an autistic savant named Anthony (Miguel Jarquin-Moreland) who beats up a bully. Nick, who has been assigned to work as a glorified security guard at Anthony’s high school, takes Anthony under his wing and trains him to be a MMA fighter. It turns out that the secret of communicating with Anthony is to speak to him in Spanish so we get several scenes of Nick calling him a “pendejo” in order to get Anthony to fight. The entire film builds up to a cage match between Anthony and his bully just for Nick to suddenly cancel the match and instead enter the ring to fight Zane, who is not just a district attorney but also the sensei of his own karate school.

Zane is determined to not only defeat Nick in the ring but to also destroy Nick’s career by telling the police about the time that Nick killed two men in Italy. The murders are not in the record because, according to Zane, they happened “before we had international law.” What? Anyway, Zane decides to create a false criminal record for Nick because Zane is jealous over the fact that Nick is falling in love with Anthony’s sister, a defense attorney named Cassy (Suzy Kaye). Zane even sleeps with Nick’s ex-wife to get revenge. Seriously, I love the fact that Zane is both a prosecutor and a sensei. I mean, how does he find the time?

There’s a lot of plot in this movie. None of it really makes sense but it’s hard not be amused at just how incoherent it all is. The film is full of random and seemingly unrelated scenes, like a lengthy sequence where a defense attorney argues that his client, a doctor, was performing euthanasia when he shot three heroin addicts in the head. “Free Dr. Clark!” the courtroom crowd chants. (Of course, Dr. Clark is never again mentioned after this scene. The shouts of “Free Dr. Clark” brought to mind the “Free Hat!” episode of South Park.) The Savant plays out like a fever dream, one that dares you to try to make sense of it all.

Well, good luck with that. I could sit here and spending hours write about all of the film’s plot holes. But what’s important is that this film featured a lot of Robert Loggia yelling and about two minutes of Eric Roberts. Plan accordingly.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed: