Directed by David Lynch.
Got a light?
The show may end tonight but the conversation will continue forever.
(Starting Monday, I’ll be reviewing the films of David Lynch, from Eraserhead to Inland Empire.)
This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, dark within.
Cooper’s back!
If you needed to sum up the latest episode of Twin Peaks: The Return in just two words, those would be the words to use. After spending 15 hours with just the Doppelganger and Dougie, it is so wonderful to finally have Dale Cooper back.
Tonight’s episode of Twin Peaks was the best since Part 8. In fact, I would rate Part 16 even higher than Part 8 because Part 16 shows that David Lynch is more than just a surrealist. He’s also a filmmaker with a heart. If you didn’t get emotional when Dale said, “I am the FBI,” then you have no feelings, it’s as simple as that. You’re a zombie or maybe you’re a doppelgänger yourself. As we learned tonight, there’s more of them out there than just evil old Mr. C.
Part 16 opens with the Doppelganger (Kyle MacLachlan) and Richard (Eamon Farren) driving at night. The Doppelganger pulls off to the side of a country road. He turns on his truck’s spotlights and shines them on a nearby rock. The Doppelganger and Richard get out of the truck. Richard asks why they’ve stopped. “Pay attention,” the Doppelganger replies, “and you’ll find out.”
The Doppelganger goes on to explain that he’s looking for “a place.” Three people have given him coordinates to the place. Two of the coordinates match. The Doppelganger says that the rock matches up with those two coordinates. The Doppelganger sends Richard to investigate the rock and, in a quite satisfying turn of events, Richard is electrocuted and violently killed. Bye bye, you douchebag.
“Goodbye, my son,” the Doppelganger says, confirming what we all suspected about Richard’s parentage.
Meanwhile, on a nearby hill, a stoned Jerry Horne (David Patrick Kelly) watches all of this play out. (Perhaps it’s because he was too far away or because he was too high but Jerry didn’t seem to notice that the man being electrocuted was his grandnephew.)
In Las Vegas, Chantal (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and Hutch (Tim Roth) are in a van, staking out Dougie’s house and waiting for a chance to assassinate him. As they watch, the FBI pulls up outside of the house. When Special Agent Headley (Jay R. Ferguson) knocks on the front door, no one answers. Needless to say, he’s not happy about that. As usual, he yells at Wilson (Owain Rhy-Davies). Poor Wilson.
The reason no one is home is because Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) electrocuted himself during Part 15 and he’s now in a coma. Bushnell (Don Murray), Janey-E (Naomi Watts) and Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon) are all in his hospital room, looking over him. The Mitchum brothers (Jim Belushi and Robert Knepper) drop by, delivering flowers and finger sandwiches. They also announce that they’re going to go to Dougie’s house and drop off some food so that Janey-E doesn’t have to worry about cooking.
Meanwhile, Bushnell gets a call from the office, telling him that the FBI just came by and that they’re now heading to the hospital to see Dougie.
In front of Dougie’s house, Chantal and Hutch are still hiding out in the van and waiting for Dougie to show up. “It’s going to be a long day,” Hutch says. (Leigh and Roth make such an entertaining couple that you almost feel bad that they’re playing psychotic murderers.) They watch confused as the Mitchum Brothers and their entourage pull up to the house and drop off several trays of finger sandwiches.
Suddenly, a man pulls up behind the van. He’s driving a car that has “Zawaski Accounting” on the side of it. However, this guy doesn’t seem like your typical accountant. For one thing, he’s extremely angry about Chantal and Hutch parking in front of his driveway.
“GO FUCK YOURSELF!” Chantal yells.
The accountant gets back into his car and starts to ram the van. This really pisses off Chantal so she shoots the guy. However, the accountant has a gun of his own and shoots back. This leads to a violent shooutout, one that leaves Chantal and Hutch dead. The accountant surrenders to Agent Wilson, who was also staking out Dougie’s house.
Watching the fight from Dougie’s front porch, Bradley Mitchum wonders, “What the fuck type of neighborhood is this?”
“People are under a lot of stress, Bradley,” his brother explains.
Back at the hospital, Dougie suddenly wakes up. He sits up and he sees MIKE (Al Strobel) staring at him.
“You are awake?” MIKE asks.
“One hundred per cent,” Dougie replies in a confident and authoritative voice…
OH MY GOD, COOPER’S BACK!
“Finally,” MIKE says. MIKE goes on to explain that the Doppelganger is still out there. He hands Cooper the owl ring.
Cooper gives MIKE a strand of his hair and says, “I need you to make another one!” (I assume Cooper is telling MIKE to make another doppelganger.)
“I understand,” MIKE says before vanishing.
It quickly becomes apparent that Cooper really is 100% back. He is no longer blank-faced. He is no longer blandly repeating the last two words that he heard. Instead, he is back to being the talkative Cooper that we all know and love. After getting the doctor to “verify that my vitals are A-okay,” Cooper tells Bushnell that he’s a good man and tells Janey-E and Sonny Jim to go to the car.
(“Dad sure is talking a lot,” Sonny Jim says.)
Before leaving, Cooper is told that the FBI is looking for him. Cooper smiles and delivers the line of the episode: “I am the FBI.”
(Cooper also borrows Bushnell’s gun and calls the Mitchum Brothers, telling them that he’s going to need plane to Spokane, Washington.)
As Cooper, Janey-E, and Sonny Jim drive away from the hospital, the classic Twin Peaks theme music swells on the soundtrack, letting us know in no uncertain terms that Cooper is back and things are going to be okay.
In South Dakota, Diane (Laura Dern) gets a text from The Doppelganger. “: – ) All” As a distorted remix of Muddy Magnolias’s American Woman plays on the soundtrack, Diane takes the elevator up to Gordon’s room, where Gordon (David Lynch), Tammy (Chrysta Bell), and Albert (Miguel Ferrer) are all waiting for her.
In a scene featuring some of the most brilliant work of Laura Dern’s career, Diane tells them about the last night that she saw the Doppelganger. She reveals what the show had already heavily implied, that the last time she saw the Doppelganger, he raped her. Afterward, he took her to “some place like an old gas station.”
Suddenly, Diane says, “I’m in the sheriff’s station. I sent him those coordinates. I’m in the sheriff’s station because I’m … it’s not me.”
Diane pulls a gun from her purse, just to get shot by Tammy and Albert. Diane immediately vanishes.
“Wow,” Tammy says.
Suddenly, we’re in the waiting room of the Black Lodge. Diane sits in a chair. MIKE is across from her. MIKE tells her that she’s not real, that she was manufactured. “I know. Fuck you,” Diane says before her face disappears in a puff of black smoke.
At the casino, the Mitchum Brothers greet Cooper, Janey-E, and Sonny Jim. Cooper tells Janey-E and Sonny Jim that he loves them but that he has to go away. However, he promises that he will return. Even though Cooper is no longer Dougie, he still loves both of them. “We’re a family,” he says, “Dougie — I mean, I will be back.” Cooper reassures Sonny Jim that he is his dad, whether he’s Dougie or not. “I have to go but I’ll see you soon,” Cooper says, “I’ll walk through that red door and I’ll be home for good.”
Cooper leaves with the Mitchum Brothers. As they drive to the airport, the Mitchums ask Cooper if he really works for the FBI. Cooper says that he does. The Mitchums explain that they typically don’t get along with law enforcement. In a classic Cooper moment, Dale says, “I read you 100%. Friends, that’s about to change. I am a witness that you both have hearts of gold.” The Mitchums are touched.
At the Roadhouse, the MC (JR Starr) announces that the Roadhouse is proud to present Edward Louis Severson (Eddie Vedder, whose real name is Edward Louis Severson). As Vedder sings Out of Sand (which, no offense to you Eddie Vedder fans out there, is perhaps the most boring song ever to be performed at the Roadhouse), Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) and Charlie (Clark Middleton) finally show up. They get a drink at the bar. Audrey raises a toast to Billy.
Suddenly, the MC announces: “And now … Audrey’s Dance!”
Everyone on the dance floor moves to the side, retreating to the shadows. The house band starts to play Audrey’s theme music from the original series. Audrey appears to go into a trance and she starts to do the same dance that, 25 years previously, she did at the Double R while everyone else in town was wondering who had killed Laura Palmer.
Suddenly, a fight breaks out in the Roadhouse. Two men are fighting over a woman named Monique. Audrey snaps out of her trance and runs off the dance floor. She goes to Charlie. “Get me out of here!” she says.
Suddenly, Audrey is in a white room, staring at herself in a mirror. “What!? What!?” she says as the mirror shakes…
And, for now, that’s where we leave things.
Oh my God, what a wonderful episode! Twin Peaks: The Return concludes next week. As much as I want to see where Lynch’s journey is going to lead, I am going to miss this show and its mysteries. After Twin Peaks: The Return ends, it’s going to be hard to just watching mere television.
Twin Peaks on TSL:
Hi! Lisa here, filling in for Val, with today’s music video of the day!
On Saturday night, fans of both film and horror were saddened to learn of the death of Tobe Hooper. Tobe Hooper was a Texas original, a fiercely iconoclastic director who totally changed the face of horror when he directed a low-budget shocker called The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
When it came time to pick today’s music video of the day, I decided to see if Tobe Hooper had ever directed a music video. It turned out that he directed exactly one and here it is:
According to almost everyone online, Dancing With Myself is a song about masturbation. However, Idol himself says that the song’s lyrics are actually meant to be quite literal. The song actually is about dancing with yourself. Here’s how it’s explained over on Songfacts:
“This song is commonly thought to be about masturbation, but it’s really more about dancing by yourself. Billy got the idea after watching Japanese kids at a Tokyo disco “dancing with themselves” in a nightclub. The kids would dance in a pogo style up and down, and there were mirrors in the club so they could watch themselves doing it… This song is about more than just dancing. Idol told Rolling Stone: “The song really is about people being in a disenfranchised world where they’re left bereft, dancing with their own reflections.”
As for how Tobe Hooper came to direct the video … well, I have no idea. I imagine he was hired because of his fame as the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This video came out a year after the original Poltergeist, a film that Hooper is credited with directing but which many people believed was actually directed by producer Steven Spielberg. (Poltergeist was a huge hit but the rumors of Hooper being a director-in-name-only permanently and unfairly damaged Hooper’s reputation.) As far as I know, this is the only music video that Tobe Hooper directed.
As for the video, it features neither masturbation nor Japanese nightclubs. Instead, it appears to be taking place in a post-apocalyptic setting. The beginning of the video reminds me a bit of Hooper’s underrated slasher film, The Funhouse.
Anyway, enjoy!
As always, these are just the initial thoughts that I had when I first watched the episode. Later tonight or tomorrow, I will rewatch the episode and post a full recap!
Twin Peaks on TSL:
Why am I posting this review so late? Check out my previous Twin Peaks post for the explanation.
I have to admit that I’m kind of kicking myself for taking so long to watch Part 15 of Twin Peaks. This was one of the best episodes of the revival. It was a deeply intriguing episode, mixing moments of soaring romance with haunting creepiness. In short, this episode was David Lynch and Twin Peaks at their considerable best. Because I’m pressed for time and I need to get this written and posted before Part 16 premieres later tonight, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do full justice to how wonderful this episode was. I’ll try, though. Be sure to check out Ryan’s thoughts on Part 15, as well.
Things begin, as they so often do, with a one-eyed woman and a shovel…
Nadine Hurley (Wendy Robie) walks through Twin Peaks, carrying her golden shovel with her. She stops at Big Ed’s Gas Farm and tells Big Ed (Everett McGill) that she’s changed. She says that she loves Ed but she knows that she’s been a “selfish bitch” and that Ed has “been a saint.” Nadine explains that she’s using her shovel to “dig” herself “out of the shit” and tells Big Ed that she wants him to be with Norma. “True love,” Nadine says, “is about giving others what they need to be happy.”
What follows is Lynch at his most deliriously romantic. Ed drives to the Double R and tells Norma (Peggy Lipton) that he loves her and he wants to marry her. However, Norma is busy conducting one of her corner booth business meetings with Walter (Grant Goodeve). She not only allows Walter to buy her out but she also dumps him. “Family reasons,” she explains before kissing Ed. A song about love plays in the background. The wind blows through the trees. The sun shines through the clouds above. Briefly, all is right with the world of Twin Peaks…
…so, of course, the very next scene is the Doppelganger (Kyle MacLachlan) driving down a dark road. Of course, the Doppelganger is always bad news but, for whatever reason, driving always seems to put him in an even worse mood than usual.
The Doppelganger pulls up at the gas station that, way back in Part 8, we saw taken over by the Woodsmen. (The music playing in the background is “Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima.”) With electricity crackling all around, the Doppelganger enters the gas station, approaches a woodsman, and says that he is looking for Philip Jeffries. The Doppelganger is led to a dark room that is occupied by a strange metal device. Jeffries’s Southern-accented voice emanates from the device.
Considering the amount of time that these two have apparently spent trying to kill each other, it’s actually a relatively polite conversation. I have to admit that it caught me off guard seeing the Doppelganger asking questions for once. I always assumed the Doppelganger knew everything. (As the Doppelganger and Jeffries talk, Lynch inserts a flashback of David Bowie from Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.) When the Doppelganger asks if Jeffries was the one who called him, Jeffries replies that he does not have the Doppelganger’s number. Jeffries says that he and the Doppelganger used to talk regularly.
“You are Cooper?” Jeffries asks.
“Why didn’t you want to talk about Judy?” the Doppelganger asks, “Who is Judy? What does Judy want from me?”
Jeffries tells the Doppelganger to ask her himself.
Suddenly, a phone rings. The Doppelganger sees an old landline phone in the corner of the room. When the Doppelganger answers, this is a loud surge of static and the Doppelganger suddenly finds himself outside the gas station…
And there’s Richard Horne (Eamon Farren), holding a gun on him and saying that he recognized the Doppelganger from a picture that his mother (who we all know is Audrey) used to carry with her. “You’re FBI!” Richard announces. (He’s probably Richard’s father, as well.) The Doppelganger proceeds to rather easily kick Richard’s ass and then tells him to get in the truck. “We’ll talk on the way,” the Doppelganger explains.
As they drive away, the gas station vanishes.
In the woods around Twin Peaks, Steve (Caleb Landry Jones) and Gersten Hayward (Alicia Witt) are freaking out. Steven has a gun and keeps saying that he did it. “You didn’t do anything!” Gersten says, “you were fucking stoned! What did she give you!?” Steven loads the gun and, as Gersten begs him to stop, he says that he’s going to end it. Steven starts to talk about how much he loves fucking Gersten when suddenly, a guy walking his dog wanders by. Gersten runs and hides behind a tree. Off screen, there is a gunshot. (This short but intense scene features some amazing acting from both Alicia Witt and Caleb Landry Jones.)
At the trailer park, Carl (Harry Dean Stanton) meets with the man who was walking his dog. We see the man point at Steve and Becky’s trailer.
That night, at the Roadhouse, the very excited Emcee (J.R. Starr, who is quickly becoming one of my favorite minor characters) announces that they will be playing “one of our favorites — Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top!” He even has a cardboard volume meter to show how excited he is over the song. The Emcee starts to dance along to the song. He’s so adorable!
What’s less adorable is what happens when James (James Marshall) and Freddie (Jake Wardle) are attacked by Chuck (Rod Rowland), who is Renee’s husband. Freddie, who is wearing his power glove, knocks Chuck unconscious with one punch.
In Las Vegas, Agent Wilson (Owen Rhys-Davies) tells Agent Headley (Jay R. Ferguson) that he’s brought in another Douglas Jones for interrogation. Apparently, Wilson and Headley are just tracking down everyone named Douglas Jones who lives in Vegas. However, as quickly becomes apparent when Headley goes down to the interrogation room, they have yet to track down our Dougie Jones.
Elsewhere in Vegas, Chantal (Jennifer Jason Leigh) assassinates both Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler) and Roger (Joe Adler). Afterwards, she and Hutch (Tim Roth) eat out in their car and casually discuss the pros and cons of torture.
Back in Twin Peaks, both James and Freddie are led to a jail cell. Interestingly, the last time we saw James arrested was in the Pilot. James was put in a cell with Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook). This time, it’s Bobby leading James to the cell.
Back in Vegas, our Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) eats a piece of cake and watches Sunset Boulevard on television. When he hears Cecil B. DeMille mention the name “Gordon Cole,” Dougie responds by crawling across the floor and sticking his fork into an electrical socket.
(It’s interesting to note that, in the scene from Sunset Boulevard, DeMille and Gloria Swanson — in the role of Norma Desmond — were talking about getting everyone back together again and making another picture, despite the fact that Hollywood had changed quite a bit since Desmond’s heyday. In many ways, that’s exactly what David Lynch is doing with Twin Peaks: The Return.)
In Twin Peaks, The Log Lady (Catherine E. Coulson) calls Hawk (Michael Horse) one last time and tells him that she is dying. “You know about death,” she says, “that it’s just a change. Not an end. It’s time. There’s some fear, some fear in letting go. Remember what I told you. I can’t say more over the phone. But you know what I mean, for our talks, when we were able to speak face to face. Watch for that one, the one I told you about, the one under the moon on Blue Pine Mountain. Hawk, my log is turning gold. The wind is moaning. I’m dying. Goodnight, Hawk.”
“Goodnight, Margaret,” Hawk replies, “Goodbye, Margaret.”
Later, Hawk tells Andy (Harry Goaz), Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), and Truman (Robert Forster) that “Margaret Lanterman passed away tonight.”
“The Log Lady’s dead?” Lucy replies, and there’s something so heart-breaking about the way Robertson delivers this line.
(It’s made even more heart-breaking by the fact that Coulson died shortly after filming her scenes for the revival. This episode is not only about the residents of Twin Peaks saying goodbye to Margaret Lanterman. It’s also about Lynch saying goodbye to his longtime friend, Catherine Coulson.)
Meanwhile, Charlie (Clark Middleton) and Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) continue to argue about going to the Roadhouse to look for Billy. Audrey complains about the way that Charlie talks to her. Billy never talks to her like that.
“I am Charlie,” Charlie says, “and he is Billy.”
“Yes,” Audrey replies, “and I like Billy better.”
“Sensational,” Charlie replies.
They argue a bit more. Audrey eventually ends up pouncing on Charlie while screaming, “I hate you! Do you realize how much I fucking hate you!”
At the Roadhouse, the Veils sing a song about drugs. A woman, Ruby (Charlyne Yi), sits in a booth. When two men tell her to move, she replies that she’s waiting someone. The men literally lift her out of the booth and drop her on the floor. Ruby crawls across the dance floor and screams.
The end credits role over an image of that gas station siting in the middle of nowhere. “Dedicated to Margaret Lanterman” the final credit reads.
Margaret Lanterman (a.k.a. The Log Lady)
Only three more episodes (and, because the final two are being shown on the same night, only two weeks) left! That makes me sad. I’m going to miss Twin Peaks.
Twin Peaks on TSL:
Obviously, I’m running very far behind when it comes to watching and reviewing Part 15 of Twin Peaks: The Return. Erin and I spent last weekend up at Lake Texoma so I set the DVR to record Part 15 so that I could watch it once we returned. However, this has been the craziest week and, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I just didn’t get a chance to sit down and watch Part 15 until around four this morning.
So, forgive the lateness of this review. Fortunately, the Trashfilm Guru watched and reviewed Part 15 when it aired and you can read his review by clicking here. As for me, despite being a week late with this review, I’m going to follow my usual format. I’m going to post the initial thoughts that I had while watching the latest episode for the first time and then I’m going to rewatch Part 15 and write out a full recap sometime later today (hopefully, before Part 16 airs later tonight on Showtime!).
Twin Peaks on TSL:
Way back in January, when I first heard about To The Bone, I had high hopes for it.
After all, To The Bone was the directorial debut of Marti Noxon, who is well-known both for her work on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and for co-creating Unreal. To The Bone was reportedly based on Noxon’s own struggle with an eating disorder and it was said to feature an outstanding lead performance from Lily Collins as an artist struggling with anorexia. Even the casting of Keanu Reeves as a doctor sounded intriguing.
And, to me, it didn’t matter that To The Bone got mixed reviews at Sundance. Who would seriously expect critics, especially male critics, to understand a movie about body issues and eating disorders? When I heard that To The Bone had been purchased by Netflix, I did sigh a little. Far too often, Netflix is where good films end up getting lost in a sea of mediocre offering. But then again, perhaps To The Bone was exactly the type of intimate character study that would actually benefit from being viewed on a small screen. After all, it’s not a film about a bunch of space lizard attacking the great wall of China. It’s a film about a young woman struggling with an eating disorder.
When Netflix finally released To The Bone back in July, I was excited.
Then I actually watched the movie.
To The Bone actually gets off to a pretty good start. The first 20 minutes or so are dedicated to establishing who Ellie (Lily Collins) is. She’s 20 years old. She’s smart. She’s sarcastic. She’s an artist. She’s a college dropout who apparently used to have a very popular tumblr that dealt with being thin. She’s also anorexic and, from the first minute that we see her, Ellie looks like she’s on the verge of death. (To the film’s credit, it makes clear that there is a huge difference between being naturally thin and being anorexic. That’s a distinction that is far too often overlooked.) We meet Ellie’s dysfunctional family: her frustrated stepmother (Carrie Preston), the father who often can’t be bothered, and the half-sister (Liana Liberato) who both loves and resents her. The relationship between the two sisters is especially well-handled. Even if it takes a while to get used to Keanu Reeves playing a compassionate but tough-talking doctor, the film still works during his first few scenes.
Then, Ellie joins Reeves’s inpatient program and moved into a house with six other patients and this is where the film started to annoy me. Ellie is such a well-drawn and well-acted character that it makes it all the more obvious that the rest of the patients are not. Instead, the rest of the patients are all easily identifiable types. As soon as they show up on screen, you know everything about them and you know exactly what is going to happen to each and every one of them. From the minute that Ellie reluctantly steps into that house, To The Bone starts to feel less like an honest look at anorexia and more like a well-meaning and predictable PSA. One of the patients is pregnant and always talk about how worried she is that her eating disorder is going to lead to her losing the baby. Can you guess what happens?
And then there’s Luke (Alex Sharp). Luke is the ballet dancer who is recovering from a knee injury. As soon as I saw that Luke was the only male in the house, I knew that he was destined to eventually declare his love for Ellie. But my problem with Luke has less to do with his predictable character arc and more to do with just how annoying a character he is. Luke is relentlessly upbeat. Luke constantly tells corny jokes. Luke just will not stop talking! When Luke leaves a room, he starts singing a song called Sugar Blues. When Luke reenters a room, he is still singing Sugar Blues. SHUT UP, LUKE!
(Whenever Ellie would visit Luke in his room, I would find myself distracted by the posters on his wall. The majority of them said “Jazz Festival” and featured some saxophone clipart. As strange as it may sound, it really started to annoy me that there was no date or location listed. Why would you go through all the trouble of making — or buying, for that matter — a poster for a jazz festival and then not bother to include a date or a location? That may sound like a minor thing but, as I watched the film, that inauthentic poster came to represent everything that felt inauthentic about Luke as a character.)
I guess the main problem with To The Bone is that it never succeeds in convincing us that the inpatient program is actually going to do any good for Ellie. It’s not for lack of trying. However, the scenes in the house are too overwrought and predictably scripted. There’s a scene where Reeves takes the patients on a field trip and it’s supposed to be inspiring but it doesn’t work because, as a first-time director, Noxon doesn’t trust her material enough to allow us to draw our own conclusions. Instead, she beats us over the head with her message. For To The Bone to work, it needed a director like Andrea Arnold, someone who specializes in a naturalistic performances and who is willing to embrace ambiguity and take the time to let a scene play out. Noxon makes the mistake of not trusting her audience to draw the right conclusion and, as a result, To The Bone goes from being an intriguing character study to being the cinematic equivalent of the last 15 minutes of an episode of Intervention.
Though it all, Lily Collins continues to give a good performance. Even when she’s forced to deliver some unfortunate dialogue, she’s the best thing about To The Bone. Unfortunately, the rest of this movie just collapses around her.
Jazz Festival
Remember The Great Wall?
The Great Wall came out in February. Before it was released, I saw the trailer and I thought, “Well, that looks like it might be fun.” However, I never actually saw the film when it was in theaters. I think I was still recovering from Fifty Shades Darker when The Great Wall was released so I put off going to see it. I thought to myself, “That’ll be around for a while.” Of course, I was wrong. The Great Wall played for two weeks and then it was gone.
That may not sound like a big deal when you consider the reviews that The Great Wall received. If not for the fact that Fifty Shades Darker was released a week earlier, The Great Wall would have been the first critical disaster of 2017. Seriously, the critics hated The Great Wall with a passion that took even me by surprise. The comments went beyond the usual snarkiness to outright hatred. Suddenly, The Great Wall — which, to judge from the trailer, looked like a harmless little monster movie — was being held up as an example of everything wrong with modern filmmaking.
The film was even attacked for starring Matt Damon. As I said before, I thought the trailer looked like fun but, apparently, other critics watched that trailer and found themselves asking, “How dare Matt Damon appear in a movie that’s set in eleventh century China!?” And you know what? I get it. Whenever I’m watching a movie about aliens invading the 11th Century, my immediate concern is whether or not the film is historically accurate. It’s bad enough that Americans are being taught that Matt Damon could survive on Mars. Do they also have to be told that Matt Damon saved China from the space lizards!?
Even though I missed The Great Wall when it was playing in theaters, I knew that it was a film that I would see eventually. Whenever a film gets totally slaughtered by the critics, I feel like I have almost a duty to watch the film and judge for myself. Some of that’s because I don’t trust the majority of critics. And some of it’s because, as a natural born contrarian, I’m always hopeful for any chance to go against the consensus. Last month, I finally watched The Great Wall and you know what?
It’s not that bad.
Now, it should be understood that being not that bad doesn’t necessarily mean that The Great Wall is a good movie. It’s a deeply silly movie and, occasionally, it’s also a profoundly dumb one. Matt Damon plays a European mercenary who is sneaking around China, searching for gunpowder. After he is captured by the Chinese and brought to the Great Wall, he is enlisted to help battle a bunch of space lizards. Apparently, the space lizards attack the wall every 60 years but, this year, they’re arriving early. Or something like that. I really couldn’t follow the mythology of the space lizards and that’s probably for the best. The Great Wall is not a film that demands or benefits from a good deal of deep thought. This is one of those films where the best plan is to not ask too many questions because the answers probably won’t make any sense anyway.
As dumb as The Great Wall may be, it’s an undeniably entertaining movie. Under the direction of Zhang Yimou, The Great Wall is a visual feast, full of epic landscapes and swooping cameras. When a seemingly limitless number of space lizards appear out of nowhere and suddenly charge the wall, it’s impossible not to get caught up in the exciting silliness of it all. When the Chinese army takes their positions on the Great Wall and prepare to repel the invasion, it doesn’t matter that none of the characters are particularly fleshed out. Instead, you’re just overwhelmed by the vibrant colors of their armor and the determined fierceness of their expressions. The Great Wall is shamelessly over the top and nicely self-aware. This a movie that knows that it is ludicrous and occasionally incoherent and you know what? The Great Wall is perfectly fine with that.
For all the criticism that he received for appearing in the movie, Matt Damon is ideally cast. Whenever Damon is on screen, it’s as if he’s entered into a conspiracy with the viewer. Matt Damon is one of the few actors who can maintain his balance while walking that thin line between drama and parody. With every arched eyebrow and slightly sarcastic line reading, Damon is saying, “Sure, this is all kind of stupid. But aren’t we having fun?”
When The Great Wall eventually shows up on the SyFy channel, it’s going to be fun movie to live tweet. Some films were just meant to be watched and appreciated with a group of your snarkiest friends. The Great Wall is one such film.
Over the past few years, there’s been many movies about the end of the world.
A lot of them have been pretty bad. I never did find the high heel that I threw at the screen while watching Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World.
And some of them have been pretty good. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and its sequels come to mind.
And then there’s Lars Von Trier’s Melancholia. Von Trier is always going to be controversial filmmaker but no one has ever matched his brilliance when it came to capturing the end of existence. In Melancholia, a depressed woman (played in a revelatory performance by Kristen Dunst) finds unexpected strength in the end of the world. As can be seen in the scene below, it’s a beautifully sad film, one that ends on a note of triumphant apocalypse:
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.
Happy End of the World Day!
(In certain cultures….)
4 Shots From 4 Films
A Trip to the Moon (1902, dir by Georges Melies)
Moon (2009, directed by Duncan Jones)
Apollo 18 (2011, dir by Gonzalo López-Gallego)
Melancholia (2011, dir by Lars Von Trier)
