TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 16 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on August 28, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Cooper’s back!

If you needed to sum up the latest episode of Twin Peaks: The Return in just two words, those would be the words to use. After spending 15 hours with just the Doppelganger and Dougie, it is so wonderful to finally have Dale Cooper back.

Tonight’s episode of Twin Peaks was the best since Part 8. In fact, I would rate Part 16 even higher than Part 8 because Part 16 shows that David Lynch is more than just a surrealist. He’s also a filmmaker with a heart. If you didn’t get emotional when Dale said, “I am the FBI,” then you have no feelings, it’s as simple as that. You’re a zombie or maybe you’re a doppelgänger yourself. As we learned tonight, there’s more of them out there than just evil old Mr. C.

Part 16 opens with the Doppelganger (Kyle MacLachlan) and Richard (Eamon Farren) driving at night. The Doppelganger pulls off to the side of a country road. He turns on his truck’s spotlights and shines them on a nearby rock. The Doppelganger and Richard get out of the truck. Richard asks why they’ve stopped. “Pay attention,” the Doppelganger replies, “and you’ll find out.”

The Doppelganger goes on to explain that he’s looking for “a place.” Three people have given him coordinates to the place. Two of the coordinates match. The Doppelganger says that the rock matches up with those two coordinates. The Doppelganger sends Richard to investigate the rock and, in a quite satisfying turn of events, Richard is electrocuted and violently killed. Bye bye, you douchebag.

“Goodbye, my son,” the Doppelganger says, confirming what we all suspected about Richard’s parentage.

Meanwhile, on a nearby hill, a stoned Jerry Horne (David Patrick Kelly) watches all of this play out. (Perhaps it’s because he was too far away or because he was too high but Jerry didn’t seem to notice that the man being electrocuted was his grandnephew.)

In Las Vegas, Chantal (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and Hutch (Tim Roth) are in a van, staking out Dougie’s house and waiting for a chance to assassinate him. As they watch, the FBI pulls up outside of the house. When Special Agent Headley (Jay R. Ferguson) knocks on the front door, no one answers. Needless to say, he’s not happy about that. As usual, he yells at Wilson (Owain Rhy-Davies). Poor Wilson.

The reason no one is home is because Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) electrocuted himself during Part 15 and he’s now in a coma. Bushnell (Don Murray), Janey-E (Naomi Watts) and Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon) are all in his hospital room, looking over him. The Mitchum brothers (Jim Belushi and Robert Knepper) drop by, delivering flowers and finger sandwiches. They also announce that they’re going to go to Dougie’s house and drop off some food so that Janey-E doesn’t have to worry about cooking.

Meanwhile, Bushnell gets a call from the office, telling him that the FBI just came by and that they’re now heading to the hospital to see Dougie.

In front of Dougie’s house, Chantal and Hutch are still hiding out in the van and waiting for Dougie to show up. “It’s going to be a long day,” Hutch says. (Leigh and Roth make such an entertaining couple that you almost feel bad that they’re playing psychotic murderers.) They watch confused as the Mitchum Brothers and their entourage pull up to the house and drop off several trays of finger sandwiches.

Suddenly, a man pulls up behind the van. He’s driving a car that has “Zawaski Accounting” on the side of it. However, this guy doesn’t seem like your typical accountant. For one thing, he’s extremely angry about Chantal and Hutch parking in front of his driveway.

“GO FUCK YOURSELF!” Chantal yells.

The accountant gets back into his car and starts to ram the van. This really pisses off Chantal so she shoots the guy. However, the accountant has a gun of his own and shoots back. This leads to a violent shooutout, one that leaves Chantal and Hutch dead. The accountant surrenders to Agent Wilson, who was also staking out Dougie’s house.

Watching the fight from Dougie’s front porch, Bradley Mitchum wonders, “What the fuck type of neighborhood is this?”

“People are under a lot of stress, Bradley,” his brother explains.

Back at the hospital, Dougie suddenly wakes up. He sits up and he sees MIKE (Al Strobel) staring at him.

“You are awake?” MIKE asks.

“One hundred per cent,” Dougie replies in a confident and authoritative voice…

OH MY GOD, COOPER’S BACK!

“Finally,” MIKE says. MIKE goes on to explain that the Doppelganger is still out there. He hands Cooper the owl ring.

Cooper gives MIKE a strand of his hair and says, “I need you to make another one!” (I assume Cooper is telling MIKE to make another doppelganger.)

“I understand,” MIKE says before vanishing.

It quickly becomes apparent that Cooper really is 100% back. He is no longer blank-faced. He is no longer blandly repeating the last two words that he heard. Instead, he is back to being the talkative Cooper that we all know and love. After getting the doctor to “verify that my vitals are A-okay,” Cooper tells Bushnell that he’s a good man and tells Janey-E and Sonny Jim to go to the car.

(“Dad sure is talking a lot,” Sonny Jim says.)

Before leaving, Cooper is told that the FBI is looking for him. Cooper smiles and delivers the line of the episode: “I am the FBI.”

(Cooper also borrows Bushnell’s gun and calls the Mitchum Brothers, telling them that he’s going to need plane to Spokane, Washington.)

As Cooper, Janey-E, and Sonny Jim drive away from the hospital, the classic Twin Peaks theme music swells on the soundtrack, letting us know in no uncertain terms that Cooper is back and things are going to be okay.

In South Dakota, Diane (Laura Dern) gets a text from The Doppelganger. “: – ) All” As a distorted remix of Muddy Magnolias’s American Woman plays on the soundtrack, Diane takes the elevator up to Gordon’s room, where Gordon (David Lynch), Tammy (Chrysta Bell), and Albert (Miguel Ferrer) are all waiting for her.

In a scene featuring some of the most brilliant work of Laura Dern’s career, Diane tells them about the last night that she saw the Doppelganger. She reveals what the show had already heavily implied, that the last time she saw the Doppelganger, he raped her. Afterward, he took her to “some place like an old gas station.”

Suddenly, Diane says, “I’m in the sheriff’s station. I sent him those coordinates. I’m in the sheriff’s station because I’m … it’s not me.”

Diane pulls a gun from her purse, just to get shot by Tammy and Albert. Diane immediately vanishes.

“Wow,” Tammy says.

Suddenly, we’re in the waiting room of the Black Lodge. Diane sits in a chair. MIKE is across from her. MIKE tells her that she’s not real, that she was manufactured. “I know. Fuck you,” Diane says before her face disappears in a puff of black smoke.

At the casino, the Mitchum Brothers greet Cooper, Janey-E, and Sonny Jim. Cooper tells Janey-E and Sonny Jim that he loves them but that he has to go away. However, he promises that he will return. Even though Cooper is no longer Dougie, he still loves both of them. “We’re a family,” he says, “Dougie — I mean, I will be back.” Cooper reassures Sonny Jim that he is his dad, whether he’s Dougie or not. “I have to go but I’ll see you soon,” Cooper says, “I’ll walk through that red door and I’ll be home for good.”

Cooper leaves with the Mitchum Brothers. As they drive to the airport, the Mitchums ask Cooper if he really works for the FBI. Cooper says that he does. The Mitchums explain that they typically don’t get along with law enforcement. In a classic Cooper moment, Dale says, “I read you 100%. Friends, that’s about to change. I am a witness that you both have hearts of gold.” The Mitchums are touched.

At the Roadhouse, the MC (JR Starr) announces that the Roadhouse is proud to present Edward Louis Severson (Eddie Vedder, whose real name is Edward Louis Severson). As Vedder sings Out of Sand (which, no offense to you Eddie Vedder fans out there, is perhaps the most boring song ever to be performed at the Roadhouse), Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) and Charlie (Clark Middleton) finally show up. They get a drink at the bar. Audrey raises a toast to Billy.

Suddenly, the MC announces: “And now … Audrey’s Dance!”

Everyone on the dance floor moves to the side, retreating to the shadows. The house band starts to play Audrey’s theme music from the original series. Audrey appears to go into a trance and she starts to do the same dance that, 25 years previously, she did at the Double R while everyone else in town was wondering who had killed Laura Palmer.

Suddenly, a fight breaks out in the Roadhouse. Two men are fighting over a woman named Monique. Audrey snaps out of her trance and runs off the dance floor. She goes to Charlie. “Get me out of here!” she says.

Suddenly, Audrey is in a white room, staring at herself in a mirror. “What!? What!?” she says as the mirror shakes…

And, for now, that’s where we leave things.

Oh my God, what a wonderful episode! Twin Peaks: The Return concludes next week. As much as I want to see where Lynch’s journey is going to lead, I am going to miss this show and its mysteries. After Twin Peaks: The Return ends, it’s going to be hard to just watching mere television.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

32 Initial Thoughts on Twin Peaks: The Return Part 16 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on August 27, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As always, these are just the initial thoughts that I had when I first watched the episode. Later tonight or tomorrow, I will rewatch the episode and post a full recap!

Several friends and acquaintances have already told me that tonight’s episode is amazing. I can hardly wait to see what happened tonight.
These driving scenes always make me think of Lost Highway.
“I’m 25 years your senior…” You’re also his father, Doppelganger!
Agck! So much for Richard. To be honest, that’s the most satisfying Twin Peaks death so far.
I love watching Tim Roth and Jennifer Jason Leigh act opposite each other.
Poor Agent Wilson. Always getting yelled at.
The Mitchum Brothers are the nicest gangsters around.
“These are what you call finger sandwiches.”
I absolutely hate it when people park in front of my house so I totally related to the whole driveway scene.
Well, so much for Chantal and Hutch. It’s probably for the best. They were funny but psychotic.
OH MY GOD, COOPER’S BACK!
“Finally.” You got that right, one-armed man.
GODDAMMIT, COOPER’S BACK!
FINALLY, COOPER’S BACK!
I’d just like to point out that, if not for Sunset Boulevard, Cooper would still be Dougie. Thank you, Billy Wilder.
Oh, thank God — Cooper remembers everything that happened when he was Dougie. I was scared that, whenever Cooper returned, he would have to spend an episode or two getting caught up.
“I’m leaving.” You tell them, Cooper!
“I am the FBI.” And the classic Twin Peaks music playing in the background! I’m so happy right now.
Uh-oh … what does that text message mean? What is Diane about to do…
That is a remix of Muddy Magnolias’s American Woman playing as Diane rides up the elevator.
Let us take a moment to all agree that Laura Dern is brilliant.
Whoa! Where did Diane go!? Actually, I think I know where Diane went…
I was right. There’s Diane in the Black Lodge and … wait, she was manufactured? Oh my God…
So, if the Doppelganger manufactured Diane could that mean that maybe he manufactured Sarah Palmer as well? As you may remember, she did rip that guy’s throat out a few episodes ago…
Considering how indifferent I’ve been to him in the past, it’s amazing how much I love Jim Belushi in Twin Peaks.
Awwwwww! “We’re a family.” Kyle MacLachlan is a great actor.
“I am witness to the fact that you both have hearts of gold…” Awwwww!
Edward Louis Severson is, of course, Eddie Vedder’s real name.
Audrey and Charlie finally made it to the Roadhouse.
“Ladies and gentlemen … Audrey’s dance…” Is the Roadhouse the Black Lodge? It would explain a lot…
Oh my God, Audrey’s in the Black Lodge!
This was a great episode and I can’t wait to rewatch it. I can’t believe that it all ends next week.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks The Return Part 11 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on July 24, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The latest episode of Twin Peaks begins, appropriately enough, in Twin Peaks, with a group of kids tossing a baseball around outside of a trailer park. When one of them misses a catch, he chases the ball out into the middle of the road.

Needless to say, this scared the Hell out of me.

Seriously, we all know what happens when you run out into the middle of the road in Twin Peaks. Richard Horne appears out of nowhere, screaming about cocaine, and basically runs you down in a stolen pickup truck. Needless to say, I was totally prepared for this kid to die but it didn’t happen. Instead, he spotted a seriously injured Miriam (Sarah Jean Long) dragging herself out of the woods. Apparently, she survived being attacked by Richard at the beginning of last week’s episode.

Speaking of trailer park drama, someone calls Becky Burnett (Amanda Seyfried) and informs her that her good-for-nothing husband, Steve (Caleb Landry Jones), is at an apartment with Gersten Hayward (Alicia Witt). Enraged, Becky screams that she doesn’t have a car. However, she does have a mother, Shelley (Madchen Amick) and Shelley knows a little something about bad boys. When Becky calls and says that she needs her mom’s car, Shelley runs from the diner and heads to the trailer park.

When Shelley arrives, she discovers that Becky 1) has a gun and 2) wants the car so that she can track down Steve and shoot him. As Shelley gets out of the car, Becky jumps in and starts to drive off. Shelley jumps onto the hood of the car but ends up flying off as Becky speeds out of the trailer park. Fortunately, Shelley only ends up with a skinned knee. Carl (Harry Dean Stanton), who has apparently seen his share of Becky and Steve’s drama, uses a flute to summon a VW microbus and soon, Carl and Shelley are on the road!

It turns out that Carl also knows Maggie (Jodi Thelen), the dispatcher at the sheriff’s office. While sitting, with Shelley, in the back of the microbus, Carl calls Maggie and asks to be put through to Deputy Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook). That’s right — Becky is Shelley and Bobby’s daughter! (Okay, that’s actually not a huge shock but seriously, I’ve been wondering if the revival would ever acknowledge Bobby and Shelley’s relationship in the original series.) Shelley tells Bobby that Becky has a gun and they’re not sure where she went.

“Oh God,” Carl says, in a tone of voice that suggests he’s not particularly shocked by any of this.

Meanwhile, at an apartment building, Becky bangs on the door to Room 208. When the woman in the next room pops out her head and announces that “They just left,” Becky responds by shooting the door six times. (And, literally everyone in Twin Peaks responds by calling the sheriff’s department.)

Meanwhile, in South Dakota, Gordon (David Lynch), Albert (Miguel Ferrer), Diane (Laura Dern), Tammy (Chrysta Bell), MacKlay (Brent Briscoe), and Bill Hastings (Matthew Lillard) pull up in front of the deserted farm where Hastings claims he and Ruth Davenport found the portal that led them to Major Briggs. Let’s see if I can keep straight what happened here:

A fat little Woodsman kept appearing and then vanishing. Gordon, Albert, and Diane all spotted the Woodsman. None of them seemed to be particularly surprised.
Gordon, and only Gordon, saw a swirling vortex, much like the one from Donnie Darko, appear in the sky.
Gordon nearly got sucked into the vortex. Before Albert pulled him back, Gordon saw what appeared to be three Woodsmen standing on a staircase.
Gordon and Albert stumbled across the headless body of Ruth Davenport.
Sitting in the backseat of MacKlay’s car Bill looked really concerned and I was briefly reminded of Lillard’s performance in 13 Ghosts.
That fat little woodsman snuck up behind MacKlay’s car. Diane saw the woodsman but said nothing.
MacKlay glanced in the backseat and started to scream.
Everyone else glanced into the car.
Suddenly, Bill Hasting was missing the top half of his head.
“He’s dead,” Gordon commented. (Lynch delivered the line with perfect nonchalance.)

That night, at the Double R, Bobby sits in a booth with Becky and Shelley. Becky says she wants a divorce but that she also still loves Steve. Bobby tells her that Becky is going to have to pay for the door, which Becky is not at all happy to hear. Bobby goes on to reveal that he’s convinced the Sheriff not to arrest Becky and that he’s through allowing Steve to get away with stuff. From now on, if Steve breaks the law, Bobby’s not going to step in to protect him from the consequences. When Bobby and Shelley offer to help her get away from Steve, Becky suddenly starts to defend her abusive husband. It’s a touching and rather sad scene, a chance to see Bobby and Shelley as true adults. However, it all ends when Red (Balathazar Getty) walks up to the diner. Shelley’s face lights up as she runs outside to see him. Meanwhile, Bobby and Becky exchange looks. Just as Becky is blind to Steve’s true character, Shelley is blind to who Red is.

(Shelley went from Leo to Bobby — back when Bobby was still a drug dealer — to Red. Shelley! I like bad boys too but goddamn … you can do so much better! Gordon Cole, for instance, was in love with you…)

As soon as Shelley reenters the Double R and sits back down with her daughter and ex-husband, gunshots ring out! Oh my God, is Red trying to kill Bobby!? Or is one of Red’s enemies (Richard maybe) trying to kill Shelley!? Those were my first two thoughts but no — it turns out that a kid accidentally fired a gun that he happened to find in his parent’s SUV. Bobby immediately brings order to the scene and it’s interesting to see just how much of a responsible adult and authority figure Bobby Briggs has actually become.

(Still, I always wonder if everyone’s forgotten that Bobby murdered a Canadian drug smuggler in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. Bobby shot off the top of his head, in much the same way that the fat little woodsman ripped off the top of Bill’s head.)

The scene ends on an odd (and rather grotesque) note when Bobby tells the woman in the car behind the SUV that she needs to stop honking her horn. The woman shouts that she has to get home and that they have miles to go. She also says that the passenger in the car with her is sick. In the passenger’s seat, a zombiesh girl looks at Bobby and starts to spit something up.

At the Sheriff’s Department, Truman (Robert Forster) and Hawk (Michael Horse) look at a map, trying to pinpoint where Major Briggs’s note told them to go. Actually, they have two maps. Truman has Google Earth while Hawk has an old Indian map. The Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) calls and asks if Hawk has found something. “My log is afraid of fire,” she explains, “There is fire where you are going.”

Back in South Dakota, Gordon is concerned because his hand is shaking. (In the original series, a twitching arm or hand often indicated that BOB was entering our world from the Black Lodge.) Albert shows Gordon a picture that he took of several numbers that were written on Ruth Davenport’s arm. Albert believes that the numbers are coordinates. Diane smokes. Tammy and MacKlay come by with donuts and coffee. “Ah!” Gordon shouts when he sees the donuts, “the policeman’s dream!”

In Las Vegas, everyone is still hilariously unaware that Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) is an empty shell who is mostly concerned with coffee and shiny badges. Bushnell Mullins (Don Murray) tells Dougie that it’s obvious that Dougie’s “investigative work” has exposed a connection between police corruption, organized crime, and the insurance industry. As Mullins praises Dougie for his hard work, Dougie blankly drinks his coffee. Mullins says that, despite their fearsome reputation, the Mitchum Brothers are not involved in any of the corruption.

“It’s somebody else,” Mullins says.

“Somebody else,” Dougie repeats.

“That right,” Mullins agrees.

It turns out that the Mitchums want to have a personal meeting with Dougie about their claim. (Of course, we know that the Mitchums want to kill Dougie because Tom Sizemore’s Anthony Sinclair framed Dougie for cheating them out of a claim.) Mullins gives Dougie a $30 million claim check to the give to the Mitchums and then explains all of the weird technical stuff that will allow the firm to make money even as if it pays off a huge claim. I couldn’t really follow it but Mullins was certainly proud of himself.

Mullins says that the Mitchums are sending a car to pick Dougie up for their meeting. Does Mullins realize that the Mitchums are planning to kill Dougie? And could that be the real reason that Mullins gave Dougie the check, as a way of convincing the Mitchums not to kill him? I’m not sure.

Fortunately, while walking out to the waiting limo, Dougie sees MIKE (Al Strobel) beckoning him to enter a small pastry shop. Dougie buys a cherry pie. As we shall soon see, MIKE is still looking out for him.

Dougie is then driven out to the desert by the same limo driver (Jay Larson) who previously drove him home from the casino. The Mitchums are waiting for him but it quickly turns out that neither Rodney (Robert Knepper) nor Bradley (Jim Belushi) is really that enthusiastic about killing Dougie. Despite the fact that he’s been having dreams about murdering Dougie, Bradley is especially reluctant. After all, Dougie took care of Ike the Spike for them. Plus, there was more to Bradley’s dream then just killing Dougie. Bradley just can’t remember what exactly.

They’re even more reluctant once they discover that 1) Dougie is carrying a pie with him (just as he was in Bradley’s dream) and 2) Dougie has a huge check for them. So, instead of killing Dougie, they take him out to eat. Dougie especially enjoys that pie. The old woman from the casino happens to enter the restaurant and she tells “Mr. Jackpots” that, ever since he helped her win all that money, her life has been perfect! Yay! Everyone’s a winner!

All in all, this was a pretty good episode. It was good to see that the story’s moving forward. I’m really liking Bobby Briggs (and Dana Ashbrook) as the voice of moral responsibility and the Las Vegas story remains far more entertaining than it has any right to be. And now that Gordon has seen the woodsmen, what will happen next?

I can’t wait to find out!

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return “Part 6” (dir by David Lynch) (SPOILERS)

Posted on June 12, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time to take another trip into the world Twin Peaks! Below is my recap of the latest episode. Along with reading my thoughts, be sure to check out Ryan’s review of the episode as well! And, if you want to see where my mind was immediately after the end of Part 6, check out my initial thoughts here!

I have to admit that I cringed a little when Part 6 opened with Cooper/Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan, of course) still staring at that statue. It was an image that was somehow both touching and annoying. There’s an innocence to Cooper/Dougie that makes you want to protect him and, at the same time, it’s hard not to want the old Cooper back. No matter what, I do have to admire David Lynch for having the courage to take the risk of maintaining such a leisurely pace when it comes to telling this story. It goes against all conventional wisdom.

After coming across Dougie/Cooper still staring at the statue, a friendly police officer takes him home. (Dougie/Cooper is obsessed with the officer’s badge and can still only identify his house by using the red door.) Janey-E (Naomi Watts) has finally reached the point where she’s willing to accept that Cooper/Dougie needs to see a doctor but she still seems to be in denial about just how strange her “husband” is acting. If anything, the Cooper/Dougie storyline demonstrates the lengths that some people will go to in order to pretend that everything’s normal.

Dougie/Cooper is sent upstairs, by Janey-E, to say goodnight to Sonny Jim (Pierce Gagnon). This leads to a genuinely sweet scene, in which Sonny Jim and Dougie/Cooper take turns clapping their hands and making the lights go out and come back on.

However, that fun is interrupted by Janey-E. While going through the file that Dougie/Cooper brought home from work, she comes across an unmarked brown envelope. Inside is a picture of Dougie with Jade (Nafessa Williams). Janey-E realizes that not only has Dougie/Cooper not paid the money that he owed the loan sharks but that he’s also been seeing a prostitute. “You are in the dog house, mister!” she shouts. Dougie/Cooper, on the other hand, is just happy to see a picture of Jade.

“Jade,” he smiles, remembering that she once gave him a ride to a casino. (“Jade gave two rides,” Dougie/Cooper says, blankly.)

Suddenly, the phone (a landline!) rings. “Maybe it’s Jade calling!” Janey-E snaps.

“Jade,” Dougie/Cooper smiles.

Janey-E answers and discovers that it’s the loan sharks calling. They want their money. Janey-E tells them that there’s no way that Dougie/Cooper is going to be able to pay, especially if they do the typical loan shark thing and break his legs. (Naomi Watts, incidentally, totally kicks ass in the role of Janey-E.) Janey-E agrees to meet with Dougie/Cooper’s “friends” the next afternoon.

“Tomorrow’s a big day!” Janey-E snaps at him.

“Big day,” Dougie/Cooper agrees.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Janey-E agrees.

Meanwhile, somewhere — perhaps in Twin Peaks — a green light turns red and there is the sound of electricity. In the Black Lodge, One-Armed MIKE (Al Strobel) walks with his one arm raised to the air.

Suddenly, MIKE appears in Dougie/Cooper’s living room. “You have to wake up! Wake up! Don’t die. Don’t die! Don’t die!” he tells Dougie/Cooper before vanishing. Dougie/Cooper responds by drawing what appears to be a ladder and steps on his work files. It’s hella creepy.

Cut to Albert Rosengfield (Miguel Ferrer) driving through the rain. (Is he in New York? That’s what I assumed, mostly because I assume all big, unnamed cities are meant to be New York.) After parking his car and getting out in the rain, Albert struggles with umbrella and then shouts, “Fuck Gene Kelly! You motherfucker!” It’s a funny line but also a sad one, as it reminds us of the great actor we lot when we lost Miguel Ferrer.

Albert steps into a trendy bar. He approaches a blonde woman at the bar. “Diane?” he says. She turns around. OH MY GOD, IT’S LAURA DERN!

(Yes, after 25 years, we’ve finally met the Diane that Cooper always spoke of. Even better, she’s played by the one living performer — Jack Nance, sadly, is no longer with us — who is as closely linked to David Lynch as Kyle MacLachlan.)

Laura Dern as Diane

Cut to Twin Peaks. At a lumber yard, psycho Richard Horne (Eamon Farren) has apparently just snorted the greatest cocaine ever. He’s at a meeting with Red (Balthazar Getty) and several heavily armed men. Apparently, Red is the new Twin Peaks drug lord. (I guess the Renault family has gotten out of the game.) Red says that he’s been in town for a few weeks and he likes it. (During Part One, we briefly saw Red at the Roadhouse, making eyes at Shelley.)

Red is a typically talkative David Lynch drug dealer. He says that he has problems with his liver. He wants to know if Richard has ever really studied his hand. Red talks about how much he likes The King and I. In between all the random comments, he worries that Richard doesn’t have his drug use under his control and then says, “I’m going to be watching you, kid.”

“Don’t call me kid,” Richard says.

Red thinks that’s the funniest thing he ever heard. Red also explains that, if Richard screws up, he’ll saw open Richard’s head and eat his brains. Red does an elaborate magic trick with a dime, flipping it into the air where it apparently hangs in suspended animation before briefly appearing in Richard’s mouth. Richard pulls the dime from his mouth, just to have it disappear from his hand. Suddenly, the dime falls into Red’s hand. Red explains that the dime represents the two of them. “Heads, I win,” Red explains, “tails you lose.”

(Balthazar Getty is totally and completely chilling as Red. He’s certainly a better actor now than he was when he made Lost Highway.)

Anyway, Richard doesn’t take this well because, in the very next scene, he’s driving his pickup truck, crying, and screaming, “Fuck you, man!”

Meanwhile, at a nearby trailer park, Carl (Harry Dean Stanton) is starting his day. (You may remember Carl as the trailer park manager from Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. Apparently, he’s moved to Twin Peaks.) Carl, who says he’s mostly just waiting for die, is driven into town by a friend. Accompanying them is a man (Jeremy Lindholm) who talks about his wife, Linda. She’s in a wheel chair and the man says that it’s taken forever for the government to send them their money.

“Fucking war,” Carl says, “Fucking government.”

(Damn straight, Carl! Also, remember in Part One, the Giant told Cooper that he needed to find Richard and Linda. Well, we’ve already met Richard Horne and, in this episode, we learned about Linda. But are the same Richard and Linda that Cooper needs to find?)

At the Double R, we discover that apparently there hasn’t been any staff turnover in 25 years. Shelley (Madchen Amick) is ringing up customers. The German waitress is still taking orders. A customer named Miriam (Sarah Jean Long) says that she loves Double R coffee. She’s a teacher. “The kids this year are so cute!” she says. There’s much giggling. Surely, nothing bad could possibly be about to happen with all of this happiness going on…

Uh-oh, Richard’s still driving and yelling. “I’ll show you a kid!” he shouts, slamming down on the accelerator. Damn, Richard — is that any way for a Horne to behave!?

Carl sits in a park and stares up at the trees. He watches a mother playing with her young son. He smiles at them. Carl appears to have calmed down considerably over the past 25 years.

Richard, being the worst human being ever, runs a stop sign. Well, what could go wrong on such a beautiful day, right? I mean it’s not safe but — OH SHIT, RICHARD JUST RAN OVER THE KID! And then he keeps on driving, all the while screaming that it’s not his fault! While he’s yelling, he suddenly realizes that Miriam — who is standing outside of the Double R — has seen his truck and his face.

Meanwhile, the mom is left cradling her dead son, while a group of onlookers stare at them. Carl runs out to the street and sees a yellow flame (the boy’s soul, maybe?) floating into the atmosphere. Of all the witnesses, only grizzled old Carl attempts to provide any comfort to the sobbing mother.

As the scene ends, the camera zooms in on the power lines. We hear the crackling of electricity. Remember how Killer BOB was always connected to electricity during the show’s initial run?

In Las Vegas, Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler) sees a large red square on his laptop. He gets an envelope out of a cabinet and puts it on his desk. The envelope has a black dot on it. (In case you’ve forgotten, Todd appeared briefly during Part 2. He’s a Vegas business executive who apparently is in some sort of debt to some powerful and frightening people.)

At Rancho Rosa, the cops are looking over the remains of Dougie’s car, which exploded last episode. One cops find the license plate on the roof of the house. Meanwhile, across the street, Druggie Mom (Hailey Gates) chants, “One one nine! One one nine!”

At a motel, a little person named Ike “The Spike” Stadtler (Christophe Zajac-Denek) sits at desk and plays with some dice. Why is he called The Spike? Well, we’re about to find out. Someone slips an envelope under his door. (It looks like the same envelope that was on Duncan’s desk.) Inside the envelope are pictures of Dougie and Lorraine (Tammy Baird), the woman who was previously hired to kill Dougie.

Meanwhile, Dougie/Cooper is back at work. He’s got his big case file with him. Unfortunately, his boss, Bushnell Mullins (Don Murray) is not impressed with Dougie/Cooper’s ladder drawing. “Look at all of these childish scribbles,” he says, “how am I going to make any sense of this?”

“Make sense of it,” Dougie replies.

(Judging from the poster in his office, Bushnell was once a professional boxer.)

Suddenly, after looking at a few more of Dougie/Cooper’s drawings, Bushnell says, “Dougie, thank you. I want you to keep this information to yourself. I’ll take it from here but I may need your help again.” Bushnell smiles. “You’ve certainly given me a lot to think about.”

“Think about,” Dougie/Cooper replies.

“You’re an interesting fellow,” Bushnell says.

Meanwhile, Janey-E meets with the two men who claim that Dougie owes them money. They explain that Dougie put a bet on a football game and lost. They try to be intimidating but they don’t know who they’re dealing with. Janey-E doesn’t have any time for their crap and she’s not afraid to let them know it. She’s especially not impressed with their claim that Dougie owes them $52,000 when the bet was only for $20,000.

Nope, Janey-E’s not having it.

“We are not wealthy people!” Janey-E snaps, “We drive terrible cars! We are the 99 per centers and we are shit on enough and we are certainly not going to be shit on by the likes of you!” (If this seems surprisingly political for the normally apolitical David Lynch, it’s worth remembering that the script was co-written by Mark Frost, who is far more outspoken politically. As a general rule, overly political stuff bores me to tears but Naomi Watts really kicks ass in his scene, totally selling every line.) Janey-E gives them $25,000 and tells them to go away.

“What kind of a world are we living in where people can treat each other like this!?” Janey-E says, before driving away. “We are living in a dark, dark age.”

Meanwhile, Ike attacks Lorraine in her office and, in a disturbingly graphic scene, stabs her and at least two other women to death with a spike. (Hence, his nickname.)

Back in Twin Peaks, Richard parks his truck in a field and tries to clean off the boy’s blood.

In the Sheriff’s Department, Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse) is in the men’s room when he sees a dime roll across the floor. He follows the dime into a stall and, after picking it up, sees a metal sign proclaiming that the stall was built by Nez Perce Manufacturing. And apparently, Nez Perce’s logo is a Native American chief. Hawks sees that the top of the door is split open. Hawk splits the door open further and finds several pieces of paper.

Meanwhile, Doris Truman (Candy Clark) comes by and yells at Frank (Robert Forster). Doris is upset because her father’s car is not running right. “Why are you always against me!?” Doris demands. The other deputies say they wouldn’t put up with Doris but Maggie (Jodi Thelen) tells them that they don’t know what they’re talking about. Doris, Maggie explains, changed after their son committed suicide.

“I know that,” one of the deputies says, mockingly, “he couldn’t take the pressure of being a soldier.”

(Is it possible that the death of Truman’s son — who it sounds like may have had PTSD — could be related to Linda, who — judging by Carl’s comments about the “fucking war” — may have been wounded while serving in the Army?)

And we close out with another haunting musical performance at the Roadhouse, the week courtesy of Sharon Van Etten.

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TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 5 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on June 5, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, there’s one thing that you can definitely say for sure about not only Twin Peaks but also about every other film that David Lynch has ever made. (And make no mistake — they may be calling this the third season of Twin Peaks but it’s obviously meant to be more of an 18-hour film than a traditional television series.) Lynch moves at his own pace. He knows where he’s going but, often, he doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to get there.

And, quite frankly, that can sometimes to be frustrating. David Lynch requires patience on the part of the viewer and a willingness to have faith in his ability as an artist. To a certain extent, the modern world almost seems to be set up to make things as difficult as possible for an artist like David Lynch. We’re used to things being fast-paced. We’re used to having immediate (if superficial) answers to any and all questions. In a time when movies are dominated by hyperactive editing and overwhelming soundtracks, David Lynch has the courage to portray moments of silence and stillness. It’s what sets him apart from other filmmakers. It’s also the reason why this critically acclaimed director has always struggled to get his films made. In 41 years, David Lynch has had ten films theatrically released. Michael Bay directed his first film twenty years after the release of Eraserhead and he has gone to direct twelve more.

Part 5 of Twin Peaks is a perfect example of Lynch’s deliberate pace. As I watched it, I found myself occasionally saying, “When is Cooper going to get normal again!?” I mean, Kyle MacLachlan is doing great work as Dougie/Cooper but how many more times am I going to have to watch him get confused over the need to urinate? That’s a joke that’s getting old.

Yes, I was frustrated.

But here’s the thing:

As frustrated as I may be by the whole Dougie/Cooper situation, I’m not going anywhere. I trust David Lynch and, throughout Part 5, there were scenes that reminded me of why I trust David Lynch. The man is a genius. I’m thinking of the three women in pink nonchalantly watching as the casino pit boss got beaten. I’m thinking of the close-up on Amanda Seyfried’s face after she snorted the cocaine. I’m thinking of Russ Tamblyn ranting.

I will follow David Lynch anywhere.

As for Part 5, it opened with Lynch’s camera prowling through the streets of Las Vegas, a city that seems especially Lynchian.

Out at the Rancho Rosa Development, the two hitmen who were sent to kill Dougie are still sitting outside of the deserted house that Dougie used for his lost weekend with Jade. They’re watching Dougie’s car. One of them calls a woman and tells her that they still haven’t seen Dougie. She does not take the news well. She sends a message to Argentina, where it is apparently received by a black box sitting in a basin.

In South Dakota, the coroner has found something in the stomach of the body that was found underneath the head of Ruth Davenport. It’s a gold ring, one that has an inscription: “To Destiny, With Love, James C.” (I’ve listened to the line about the inscription about a dozen times and I’m pretty sure that’s what the coroner said. If I’m wrong, please let me know.)

(CORRECTION: According to Dylan Lange, host of Dylan Knows, the inscription read: To Dougie With Love, Janey-E. Thank you, Dylan! — LMB)

In his prison cell, Doppelganger Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) stares at himself in his cell’s tiny mirror. He flashes back to the time he and Killer BOB shared a laugh in the Black Lodge. He sees himself smashing his face into the mirror at the Great Northern.

In Twin Peaks, we are reintroduced to Mike Nelson (Gary Hershberger), who was Bobby’s best friend and fellow drug dealer during the first two seasons of Twin Peaks. (He eventually became Nadine’s boyfriend during the time that she had amnesia and thought she was 16.) Mike is a grown-up, suit-wearing professional now, sitting in an office that is decorated with the mounted heads of dead deer. Mike is conducting a job interview with Steve Burnett (Caleb Landry Jones), who appears to be a real loser. Mike informs Steve that his resume is the worst resume that he’s ever seen and then kicks him out of the office.

At the Sheriff’s Department, Doris Truman (Candy Clark) comes by to yell at Frank (Robert Forster) about something. Honestly, I kinda tuned out this scene and I hope that Doris doesn’t become a major character. If anything, Frank is even more laconic than his brother.

Back in Las Vegas, Janey-E (Naomi Watts) finally gets Dougie/Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) out of the house. She has to tie his necktie for him. As she tells him everything that he needs to do, Dougie/Cooper stares at her with a blank look. It’s interesting that, as frustrated as Janey-E gets with Dougie/Cooper, she still tries to rationalize his strange behavior.

At the Rancho Rosa development, Dougie’s car continues to sit there. The two hitmen drive by again. They are followed by five more guys, who are all in a black car and playing their music super loud.

Janey-E drops Dougie/Cooper off at his place of employment. Apparently, Dougie worked for Lucky Seven Insurance. However, Dougie/Cooper is less interested in his job and more fascinated by a statue of a cowboy pointing a gun. In an oddly beautiful scene, he imitates the statue’s pose. Finally, one of his co-workers wanders by and tells Dougie to “get the lead out” because they have a meeting. That co-worker is carrying 8 cups of coffee so, of course, Dougie/Cooper follows after him.

At the meeting, which is full of vapid insurance people, Dougie/Cooper reveals that he can now tell when people are lying. Apparently, whenever someone lies, a green light flashes across their face. When Dougie/Cooper offends another agent (played by Tom Sizemore, no less) by calling him a liar, their boss, the wonderfully named Bushnell Mills (Don Murray), defuses the situation by giveing Dougie/Cooper several case files to take home with him.

Out in the hallway, Dougie/Cooper needs to pee but, like a panicking Sim, has no idea what to do. Luckily, one of his co-workers, assuming that the men’s room must be locked, sneaks Dougie/Cooper into the ladies room.

At the Silver Mustang Casino, Rodney Mitchum (Robert Knepper) and Bradley Mitchum (Jim Belushi) demand to know how Cooper/Dougie could possibly have won 30 jackpots. Rodney’s way of handling it is to beat up the pit boss (David Dastmalchian) while three women in pink stand in the corner of the room and nonchalantly watch.

Back at Rancho Rosa, Drugged-Out Mother (Hailey Gates) is passed out so her son leaves the house and walks across the street, intent on investigating Dougie’s bomb-laden car. Fortunately, before the kid can set the bomb off, the black car pulls up. The five men jump out of the car and tell the kid to “get the fuck outta here!” They’re planning on stealing Dougie’s car for themselves. Of course, as soon as the engine starts, the car explodes and takes three of the car thieves with it. The kid runs back to his house, where the junkie mom is just now starting to come out of her stupor.

At a nearby carwash, Jade (Nafessa Williams) is getting her car washed when she comes across the key to Cooper’s room at the Great Northern. She drops the key in a nearby mailbox.

At the Double R Diner — it’s Norma (Peggy Lipton) and Shelley (Madchen Amick)! 25 years have passed and they’re still exactly where we left them. Except that Shelley now has a daughter named Becky (Amanda Seyfried) and Becky’s married to Steve. Becky comes by the diner to borrow money from Shelley. Then she goes outside and snorts cocaine with Steve. Lynch’s camera gives us a close-up of Becky’s face as the drugs temporarily takes away all of her problems. In this scene, not only does Becky look like Shelley’s daughter (Madchen Amick and Amanda Seyfried really do look like they could be related) but there’s also a disconcerting resemblance to Laura Palmer as well.

(Also, remember how Shelley used to say that she married Leo because of his car? Well, Steve has a corvette of his own.)

Back in Vegas, Dougie/Cooper is still acting weird. He doesn’t understand that, when riding an elevator, you’re supposed to get off when the doors open. Some people get upset with him about that but Dougie/Cooper is more interested in going outside and staring at that statue. Of course, Dougie/Cooper is still holding onto those case files.

At the Sheriff’s Department, Andy (Harry Goaz) and Hawk (Michael Horse) go through the Laura Palmer case files, searching for what’s missing.

In his trailer, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) goes live online, delivering a rant about globalist corporate conspiracies and selling his gold-painted shovels so that his listeners can “dig yourself out of the shit.” Nadine (Wendy Robie) and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) listen appreciatively.

At the Pentagon, Col. Davis (Ernie Hudson) is informed that they’ve gotten another “database hit” on Garland Briggs’s fingerprints. Apparently, in the years since his mysterious death, Briggs’s finger prints have shown up in 16 different locations.

At the Roadhouse, the kickass band Trouble is playing. Meanwhile, a handsome but dangerous looking man (Eamon Farren) sits under a sign that says no smoking and smokes a cigarette. When a Roadhouse employee tells him to put out his cigarette, the man hands over a pack of cigarettes. Inside the pack are several hundred dollar bills. So, apparently, the Roadhouse is still the center of the Twin Peaks drug trade.

When Charlotte (Grace Victoria Cox) tries to flirt with him, the man suddenly turns violent, grabbing her and taunting her with, “Do you want to fuck me, Charlotte? Do you want to fuck? I’m going to laugh when I fuck you, bitch!” It’s a deeply unpleasant scene, as Lynch obviously meant for it to be.

The man’s name is not mentioned but, according to the end credits, he’s Richard Horne. Presumably, he’s a member of the infamous Horne Family. Is he a cousin? Or maybe Jerry’s kid? Or, even more intriguingly, Audrey’s son? Whatever he is, Richard is bad news.

(And let’s not forget that, way back at the start of Part One, the Giant told Cooper to remember “Richard and Linda.”)

At FBI Headquarters, Tamara (Chrysta Bell) compares the finger prints of both Cooper and his Doppelganger.

At the South Dakota prison, Doppelganger Cooper finally gets his phone call. The warden (James Morrison) thinks that they’ll be able to listen in on the call but Doppelganger Cooper has other plans. After taunting everyone listening, Cooper pushes several keys on the phone, which somehow causes every alarm in the prison to go off. While the warden tries to restore order, Doppelganger Cooper says, into the phone, “The cow’s jumped over the moon.” As soon as Doppelganger Cooper hangs up, the alarms fall silent.

In Argentina, the black box changes into a small ring.

In Vegas, Dougie/Cooper continues to stare at the statue.

And so, the latest episode ends. The story may be moving at its own pace but I can’t wait to see where else it leads.

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