Lifetime Film Review: Everyone Has Something To Hide (dir by Sean Cisterna)


Years ago, Kathy Waters (Emily Alatalo) escaped from her abusive husband, taking her young son Noah with her.  Now, Noah (Sam Ashe Arnold) is a senior in high school and a talented composer.  The school band even plays one of his compositions at a football game and everyone in the stands applaud.  It reminded of those old episodes of Degrassi where Marco would write some overwrought performance piece and all the students would respond by going, “Yeah, Marco!”

Unfortunately, Kathy and Noah are not getting along as well as they used to.  They’re fighting and arguing constantly.  Kathy is overprotective.  Noah is …. well, Noah’s kind of a creep.  Noah is always complaining about how his former best friend Ethan is now more popular than he is.  (Ethan plays football.  Noah …. composes orchestrual music.  You do the math.)  Ethan is  mad because Noah is now going out with Ethan’s ex-girlfriend, Maddie (Tori Barban).  At one point, Tori has to duck into a bathroom so she can throw up.  This is a Lifetime film and that means you don’t throw up unless you’re pregnant and trying to keep it a secret.

Kathy is a real estate agent.  That’s not a surprise as selling houses is right up there with owning a bakery or being a mommy vlogger as far as careers in Lifetime movies are concerned.  One morning, she gets a notification that someone has entered one of the empty houses that she’s selling.  Going to the house, she discovers the remains of a wild party.  She also finds Ethan dead in a nearby shed.

Noah becomes the number one suspect.  Soon, someone is spray-painting “MURDERER” across the front door of Kathy’s house.  Kathy’s friends are refusing to talk to her.  Detective Summers (Puja Uppal) is asking questions.  Noah claims that he’s innocent but even Kathy begins to have her doubts after she discovers just how angry Noah can get.  Noah’s father was abusivie.  Did Noah inherit the violence gene?

As I mentioned earlier, Noah is kind of a creep and it is easy to imagine circumstances in which he could be guilty.  The fact that Lifetime has lately featured several films featuring violent teenage boys also might lead one to suspect that Noah’s the killer.  Well, fear not.  This is a traditional Lifetime film and that means that Noah is not the murderer.  Instead, he’s just an obnoxious teenager who needs to treat his mom with more respect.  I will not spoil the movie by revealing the identity of the killer.  That said, you should be able to guess who it is because there’s not that many people in the movie.

Everyone Has Something To Hide!” the title announces and, as far as this film is concerned, I guess that’s true.  Considering that Noah’s a musician, they could have made just a few adjustments to the script and called this movie While My Guitar Gently Weeps.  As for the film itself, it suffers from a lack of likable characters.  (When I say that Noah’s a creep, I mean he is really a creep!)  But the film does deserve credit for fully embracing the melodrama.  The film has it’s flaws but it still held my attention for 88 minutes.

Brad reviews KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS (1989), starring Charles Bronson!


Back when I was a teenager, I would always get the entertainment section out of my dad’s Sunday paper so I could check out the movie listings. I was mainly looking for information about my favorite movie star, Charles Bronson. Nowadays, we know about new movies months, even years, in advance, but back then I would learn about them from the entertainment section of dad’s paper. One Sunday in early 1989, when I was 15 years old, I saw an advertisement for a new Bronson film called KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS. It was the first time I had ever heard of it. I knew I wasn’t going to get to see it at the movies because it was only playing in Little Rock, but I was excited anyway because it would be on its way to video soon!

In the film, Bronson plays police Lieutenant Crowe. Along with his partner Eddie Rios (Perry Lopez), he deals with the sleaziest criminals in Los Angeles on a daily basis and it’s starting to take a toll on his personal life. He’s currently invested in bringing down an underage prostitution ring led by Duke (Juan Fernandez) and Lavonne (Sy Richardson). When Japanese businessman Hiroshi Hada’s (James Pax) young daughter is kidnapped by Duke, Crowe decides he must do everything in his power to get her back to her family.

KINJITE reunites Bronson with director J. Lee Thompson for the ninth and final time, bringing to an end what I think is one of the more underrated actor-director partnerships of the action genre. Bronson had first worked with Thompson on the fun mystery film ST. IVES at the peak of his 70’s career. By 1989, Bronson was in his late sixties and understandably slowing down on the action front, but he still possessed that unmistakable presence on screen. He’s more invested in his performance as the prejudicial Lt. Crowe than he’s usually given credit for. There’s one specific scene where he goes off on a group of Japanese businessmen and women who are holding up traffic in front of a large hotel. It’s one of Bronson’s strongest scenes of the 1980’s as he yells various traffic code violations, and obscenities, at the surprised guests. It’s a bad moment for his character, but a well-acted moment for Bronson.

None of Bronson’s ‘80’s action films were based on stories about sunshine and roses, but the subject matter of KINJITE is particularly dark and ugly. Themes of child exploitation, human trafficking, sexual violence, and prejudice are all given screen time in a world that’s so corrupt that only someone as committed as Lt. Crowe is even capable of taking on the evil that’s presented here. Crowe is not necessarily a good man, and his sense of justice goes completely overboard at times. For example, in one scene where he catches a pervert preparing to commit an assortment of depraved sexual acts on a young prostitute (played by Nicole Eggert), Crowe says “I’m going to show you what it feels like to be one of these girls,” and we, along with his partner, hear the screams off-screen as he honors his word. In another scene, he makes the pimp Duke eat a giant Rolex watch, which prompts the trafficker to say, “I’m gonna die…” None too concerned about Duke’s health, Crowe casually tells him, “No you won’t, but you will have to stick your head between your legs to tell the time.” This is not a well-adjusted human being, but with all the evil acts being committed around him, you still can’t help but root for the guy.

The supporting cast around Bronson is quite good. Juan Fernandez is a standout as the despicable pimp, Duke. There’s something about Fernandez that just makes him great as a bad guy, as he had proved a few years earlier in the Oliver Stone film SALVADOR. His character here has this odd energy about him that oozes evil. Veteran character actor Perry Lopez, who had worked with Bronson going all the way back to the 1954 western DRUM BEAT, provides the aging icon a solid partner who helps smooth out his character’s roughest edges. Their scenes together are very strong because they feel like two weary detectives and old friends trying to deal with a world they’re both sick of.

While I think Bronson provides a good performance and that Thompson provides solid direction, I wouldn’t rank KINJITE among the star’s best 80’s films. It tries to juggle a lot of difficult themes and wants to comment on cultural differences, built-in prejudices, and sexual deviance, and it also wants to deliver the kind of action that audiences expected from Bronson’s Cannon films. It’s a well-made film, but the results aren’t completely effective because it can’t find the right balance between the serious dramatic themes and the expected action heroics. In the end, the events depicted on screen are too disturbing for the film to qualify as fun, escapist entertainment, but they’re not handled with enough depth for the film to make any sort of serious statement. The film ends up making you pretty darn uncomfortable, so I don’t revisit it as often as I do other Bronson / Thompson collaborations like 10 TO MIDNIGHT and MURPHY’S LAW.  

Based on the dark subject matter I’ve described above, I can’t give KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS an unreserved recommendation like I do so many other Bronson films. But as the final collaboration between Bronson and J. Lee Thompson, it does carry a certain historical significance. And for fans interested in seeing the darker side of Bronson’s film career, it remains a memorable, and unsettling, final chapter in one of action cinema’s most enduring partnerships.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 2.22 “Tears Are Not Enough: Part Two”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, the second season comes to an end.

Episode 2.22 “Tears Are Not Enough: Part Two”

(Dir by Philip Earnshaw, originally aired on February 23rd, 2003)

As would become a tradition on Degrassi, the season ends with a dance and a character having a breakdown.

In this case, the dance is Hawaiian-themed.  And Craig is the one who has the breakdown, shortly after he and Ashley are named the King and Queen of Degrassi.  When he thinks he spots his dead father in the back of the gym, Craig tries to talk to him.  Unfortunately, the man turns out to just be a teacher and not the ghost of Craig’s abusive dad.  Soon, Craig is ripping down streamers.  Finally, Terri talks to Craig.  She lost her mother so she understands what he’s going through.  So, if nothing else, at least Terri finally got to do something this season.

Meanwhile, Spinner and Jimmy finally get over being mad at each other.  They bond over getting defeated by Craig.  Paige and Hazel are also dissappointed about not winning Queen of the Dance.  The lesson here is that the sympathy vote rules and everyone felt sorry for Craig.  Ashley was just along for the ride.

For a Degrassi season finale, this was something of a low-key affair.  I get that the season began with Craig so it also had to end with him but it’s still hard not to feel a bit underwhelmed by the whole thing.  Craig spends this episode going from one extreme to another.  First, he acts like he doesn’t care that his father is dead.  Then, he starts to laugh like a maniac at his father’s funeral.  And then he ends up begging a stranger for his approval.  Jake Epstein got a chance to show off what a good actor he is but still, it didn’t reveal much that we didn’t already know about Craig.  Fortunately, us Degrassi fans know what’s waiting for everyone during seasons 3 and 4.  We’re about to start peak Degrassi!

I’m taking next week off for the 4th of July so we will start on season 3 of Degrassi on July 12th.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 5.15 “Wu’s On First?”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, the guest stars take over.

Episode 5.15 “Wu’s On First?”

(Dir by Tim McCann, originally aired on Feberuary 7th, 1997)

When a cop is shot and killed, the new Baltimore Sun crime reporter, Elizabeth Wu (Joan Chen), writes up a story about what a great guy the cop was.  She is soon contacted by an informant who reveals that the cop was shot while buying drugs.  Eventually, the informant reveals that he was the one who shot the cop but he claims it was self-defense.  Wu gives up her informant to the police and when Col. Barnfather (who was embarrassed by the revelation that the victim was a dirty cop and who wants to get Wu off of the crime beat) makes a point of thanking her at the press conference, it leads to Wu being exiled from Baltimore and sent to cover the news in “the sticks.”

Meanwhile, Kellerman’s obnoxious brothers (Eric Stoltz and Tate Donovan) show up and try to convince him to move to Miami with them.  Kellerman is tempted but, when it turns out that his brothers have stolen Babe Ruth’s uniform, Kellerman remembers why he left home in the first place.  This episode features Kellerman getting arrested, though Lewis and Dr. Cox both show up to bail him out of jail.  (And don’t worry about his brothers.  They eventually get freed as well.)  In the end, Kellerman stays in Baltimore.  He does, however, give his brothers $155 to help them set things up in Miami.

This episode suffered from the guest star syndrome.  The regulars are all present but, for the most part, they take a back seat to Elizabeth Wu and Kellerman’s brothers.  Joan Chen, Eric Stoltz, and Tate Donovan are all talented but they’re not the reason why anyone would want to watch Homicide.  In Elizabeth Wu’s case, the story really does feel like fan fiction.  A new character shows up out of nowhere, all of the characters talk about how talented she is, and Giardello takes a liking to her.  This episode was co-written by David Simon (who, of course, wrote the book that the entire series was based on) and, much like the final season of The Wire, it makes the mistake of thinking that everyone else would be as interested in Simon settling old scores with The Baltimore Sun as Simon obviously was.

As I watched this episode, I wondered if maybe it was meant to be a backdoor pilot.  Actually, I guess it would count as two backdoor pilots in one.  It’s easy to imagine a show about Elizabeth Wu covering the news in small town Maryland.  It’s also easy to imagine a show about Kellerman’s brothers getting into trouble in Florida.

As it is, this episode doesn’t really feel like Homicide.  It’s a rare misfire.

Brad reviews FELON (2008), starring Stephen Dorff and Val Kilmer. 


FELON is a movie that caught my attention when I was scrolling through Val Kilmer’s filmography on IMDB. I was looking for a movie and performance that seemed worthy of his talents, and this one stood out to me based on its high rating. It was directed by Ric Roman Waugh, who has helmed several solid Gerard Butler films over the last decade, including ANGEL HAS FALLEN (2019), GREENLAND (2020), and KANDAHAR (2023). I decided to go ahead and check it out on a lazy, and hot, Sunday afternoon in Arkansas. 

Stephen Dorff stars as Wade Porter, a man whose life takes a serious turn when he kills a burglar who has broken into his home. He’s sentenced to 3 years in prison for manslaughter and soon learns just how difficult it is to survive in prison. In what may be the best performance of his career, Dorff’s transformation from business-minded family man to brutal, prison survivor is incredible. As hard as he becomes, you never stop seeing the decent man trapped beneath the hardened exterior that prison forces on him. Val Kilmer plays John Smith, a mysterious lifer whose emotional scars and wisdom prove invaluable to Porter’s survival. While Smith may never go down as one of Kilmer’s most well-known characters, he gives an excellent, understated performance that proved he could still command the screen.

After looking through the IMDB profile for FELON, I expected a gritty prison drama with plenty of violence. You do get that, but I was surprised by how much the film affected me emotionally. This movie sets up a scenario that proves how quickly an ordinary guy’s life can be destroyed by one difficult situation, and then how hard it is to hold on to your humanity when your new world is completely built on violence. 

Director Waugh is able to keep the stakes high from the very beginning of the film to its end. Porter not only has to fight with all he has to survive behind the walls of the prison, but he also has to do whatever he can to to hold his family together, especially when it looks like his wife Laura (Marisol Nichols) is going to divorce him. There is a lot of violence behind the prison walls, but it feels ugly rather than entertaining, which adds meaning and a layer of depth to the film. I want to shout out Harold Perrineau, who I know from the TV series LOST. He is absolutely chilling as the evil prison lieutenant Jackson, who lost his own humanity years earlier and who now treats inmates as nothing more than pawns in his own ugly game. His performance is especially affecting when coupled with Dorff’s decent character. 

Val Kilmer put his name on a lot of movies later in his career that aren’t that great. FELON isn’t a classic, but it’s a very strong film. After enjoying their work together in THUNDERHEART, I really enjoyed seeing Kilmer work again with Sam Shepard, who plays his last remaining friend here. It’s a wonderful bonus for a low budget film from 2008. What stayed with me most, though, is the film’s reminder that justice and fairness aren’t always the same thing. Wade goes to prison wanting to quietly serve his time so he can move on with his life, but he quickly learns that survival often depends on abandoning the ideals that allow him to be a man of integrity in the real world. It’s a somewhat unsettling thought that has stuck with me after the movie ended. 

FELON is a film that’s probably never received the attention it deserved, but it’s a good prison drama. Anchored by excellent performances from Stephen Dorff and Val Kilmer, it provides an emotionally compelling story that’s well worth a watch. If you’re a fan of Val Kilmer like I am, this one’s a forgotten gem! 


Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.8 “Miss Bayside”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Screech is a pawn yet again.

Episode 2.8 “Miss Bayside”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 27th, 1990)

It’s time for the annnual Miss Bayside pageant!

Jessie considers Miss Bayside to be sexist and she tries to organize a boycott.  Lisa says “No way.”  She wants to be Miss Bayside.  Lisa enters and so does Kelly because Kelly’s family is poor and she could really use the extra money that comes from being a beauty queen.  Finally, Jessie goes against her pledge not to compete and enters because she wants to teach everyone about inner beauty.

Zack bets Slater that he can make anyone into the next Miss Bayside.  Slater takes the bet on the condition that he get to pick the person.  And, of course, Slater picks Screech….

Oh, this episode.  When I talk about Dustin Diamond being too young to be on this show, this is the sort of epiosde that I’m talking about.  While Lisa, Jessie, Kelly, and eventually Slater all come across as being confident and happy while competing for the title of Miss Bayside, Screech looks awkward, embarrassed, and almost troll-like.  I’m not even a Screech fan (or a Dustin Diamond fan for that matter, God rest his soul) but even I felt bad for him when he walked out on stage in a 1920s-style bathing suit.  While everyone else on the episode was obviously closer to adulthood than childhood (i.e. Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffani Thiessen were both 16, and Elizabeth Berkley and Mario Lopez were both 17), Dustin Diamond was 13 and looked even younger.  That gives this entire episode a bit of an icky feel.

Screech does win the pageant.  He wins because his robot, Kevin, accidentally gives him a black eye and Zack tells everyone that Slater did it.  Screech gets the sympathy vote.  Sorry, Lisa.  Your dreams don’t matter.  Sorry, Kelly.  I guess you’re never going to be able to afford college.  The importnat thing is that Screech won something that is definitely not going to lead to him being taunted later in life.

Other than Screech’s victory, this episode is remembered for two things.  First, Slater absolutely kills it when he plays the drums during the talent competition.  Secondly, Mr. Belding sings the Miss Bayside song.  Isn’t she he lovely/not even a girl….  It must be said that, judging from this episode, Belding has a terrible singing voice but at least he tries.

Slater should have been Miss Bayside.  We all know it.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/21/26 — 6/27/28


Bands of Enchantment (PBS)

On Friday night, I watched a performance by the band Pacifica.  They were okay.  I prefer louder music.

Bring Me The Beauties: The Model Cult (HBOMax)

I watched this 3-part docuseries on Monday.  It was yet another cult documentary.  This time, only good-looking people could join the cult.  That actually made sense to me.  If you’re a cult leader, why would you want to be surrounded by ugly people?

Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will drop tomorrow.

Election Coverage

I watched this latest primary results on Tuesday.  Ugh, the DSA in New York.  Never has a group of activist been both so charmless and so successful at the same time.  A lot of people are panicking about that but, honestly, if the DSA was going to win anywhere, it was going to be in New York.  I imagine they’ll do well in Denver next week as well.  DSA appeals to gentrifiers.  (I also remember that the DSA insurgency was declared dead after the primaries in Illinois so perhaps we should be careful about reading too much into any one night.)  It seems like after every “wave election,” there’s a few new congresspeople (and even senators) who end up self-destructing during their first  or second term, people like Katie Hill, George Santos, Madison Cawthorn, Cori Bush, and Jamaal Bowman.  This year, I’m putting my money on Dairaliza Avila Chevalier and, if he wins, Graham Platner as being the most likely to fall apart as soon as they arrive in Washington.

Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)

My review of this week’s episode will drop tomorrow.

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

My review of this weeks episode will drop later tonight.

Watched and Reviewed:

  1. 1st & Ten,
  2. Baywatch,
  3. CHiPs,
  4. Crime Story,
  5. Decoy,
  6. Freddy’s Nightmares,
  7. Hunter,
  8. The Love Boat,
  9. Pacific Blue,
  10. Saved By The Bell: The New Class,
  11. St. Elsewhere

Retro Televison Review: Baywatch 2.9 “The Trophy: Part One”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, Eddie in trouble!

Episode 2.9 “The Trophy: Part 1”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 11th, 1991)

Awkward teenager Caroline Larkin (A.J. Langer) doesn’t have any friends because her family’s poor and she’s from Ohio.  The only person on the beach who shows her any kindess is Eddie the lifeguard.  When Caroline tries to impress the rich girls on the beach by claiming to have been seduced by Eddie, the main mean girl makes sure that Caroline’s father finds out.  Eddie is shocked when he’s arrested and charged with statuatory rape …. despite the fact the fact that almost the same thing happened to Craig during the first season of the show.  

What makes thing particularly awkward is that Eddie is arrested just as he and Shauni are getting ready to go to a chairty gala.  Shauni finally got Eddie into a tux and then Eddie gets the handcuffs slapped on.

Meanwhile, parapalegic lifeguard Eric Turner (Daniel Quinn) returns.  He’s still in love with Megan (Vanessa Angel), the Australian lifeguard.  But he’s also bitter about having to use a wheelchair.  This is one of those stories that would be compelling if we had the slightest idea who Turner and Megan were before this episode aired.  This is also one of those episodes where totally new people show up and everyone acts as if they were there from the start of the series.  (In all fairness, Megan has appeared on the show before but her role has never been particularly large.)  Everyone else know who Eric Turner but we, the viewers, have never heard of him before.

Anyway, this is a two-part episode so neither storyline is resolved.  Since I’m taking next week off for America’s 250th birthday celebration, Eddie’s going to have to wait in jail for a while.  However, two weeks from now, we’ll see if Eddie can clear his name!