David Michael O’Neill – Through the Shattered Lens

George Kennedy vs. Bigfoot!

I think for most people, that will be the main appeal of 1988’s Demonwarp. Bill (George Kennedy) lives in a cabin in the woods with his daughter. After a Bigfoot-like creature kills his daughter, Bill grabs a shotgun and starts wandering around the woods, looking for revenge. And while I’m calling the character Bill, I should make clear that George Kennedy comes across as if he’s playing George Kennedy. If you’ve watched enough TCM, you know George Kennedy as the big, burly guy who might be in his 50s but still looks like he could beat up an army of young punks if he had to. He’s gruff and plainspoken and he doesn’t have much patience for people who aren’t willing to man up and work hard. And so, when Bill declares that he’s going to kill Bigfoot, it’s the equivalent of George Kennedy declaring it. It’s nice to see that, even after winning an Oscar for Cool Hand Luke, George Kennedy still had what it took to keep the woods safe.

Unfortunately, George Kennedy is only a supporting player here. The main characters are a group of teenagers who end up hanging out at a cabin of their own and who soon fall victim to Bigfoot themselves. It takes them a while to accept the help of George Kennedy and, for that, they have only themselves to blame. Obviously, they hadn’t watched Cool Hand Luke or they would have known that George Kennedy is exactly the guy you want to listen to in an extreme situation. If only they had binged the Airport films, as I do every time before I go on any type of vacation, things would have worked out much better for them. Let Joe Patroni in the cockpit and he’ll land that plane right on top of that monster. Problem solved.

Demonwarp is an extremely silly film that I happen to like. Some of that is because I don’t really like camping but I do enjoy going to my family’s lakehouse and every stupid mistake that the teenagers make in Demonwarp is one that I’ve made in real life. Reacting to a scary sound by running outside half-naked or just in a towel? I have lost track of the number of times I’ve done that. Usually, it was because I thought I heard a catfight going on outside. When you hear two cats yelling at each other, you don’t have time to worry about getting fully dressed. Modesty can be the difference between scaring off the other cat or having to take your cat to the vet. I imagine the same is true when it comes to Bigfoot intrusions. Yes, the characters in Demonwarp did some foolish things but they’re all pretty much the same things that I would do.

The other good thing about Demonwarp is that the final 20 minutes features a twist that is so out there and downright weird that it simply has to be seen to be believed. Demonwarp is a thoroughly ludicrous horror film and that’s the main reason to watch it.

In the 1960s, druken Pvt. Franklin Fairchild Bean (Charlie Sheen) punches an MP in West Germany. The rebellious Bean is hoping he’ll be discharged from the Army. Instead, he’s sent to the stockade for 90 days. The stockade is run by an alcoholic tyrant named Sgt. Otis McKinney (Martin Sheen) and, shortly after arrival, Bean discovers that he’s the only white prisoner. With McKinney determined to break him, Bean befriends his fellow prisoners, including Roosevelt Stokes (Laurence Fishburne), and the two white corporals (James Marshall and Ramon Estevez) who try to protect the prisoners from McKinney’s erratic behavior.

Cadence is the only film to have been directed by Martin Sheen. Considering that it co-stars two of his sons, it’s unfortunate that Cadence isn’t a better movie. Charlie Sheen gives a one-note performance as Franklin Bean but he still does better than his father, who is such a raging monster as Sgt. McKinney that it’s difficult to take him or the movie seriously. As a director, Martin Sheen always goes for the most ham-fisted shot and it’s hard to see what he’s really trying to say about the Army or Franklin Bean’s rebellion.

The supporting cast is better, especially James Marshall and Ramon Estevez. Laurence Fishburne brings his trademark gravitas to the role of Stokes. The other prisoners are played by Michael Beach, Blu Mankuma, John Toles-Bey, and Harry Stewart and they all make a good impression. Stewart plays the most saintly and innocent of the prisoners. Guess what happens to him.

Back in the day, this movie was an HBO mainstay. Somehow, I always seemed to catch the end of it but never the beginning.