Shot in Michigan, 1988’s The Hackers lives up to its name in two ways.

First off, it’s about a family that actually does have the surname of Hacker. Pa Hacker (Howard Coburn) drives around Michigan with his two sons, Arnie Hacker (Dale Caughel) and Eldon Hacker (Steven Picharo). They drive around Michigan and make a living by doing odd jobs. They claim that they can build and fix just about anything, even though they don’t seem to be particularly effective once they show up at their work site. Pa is gruff and kind of ornery. You can tell that he’s old school and he expects everyone to carry their weight. Arnie and Eldon are a little bit more goofy. They like to wear masks and they like to go fishing. They’re the type who will invade your personal space without even realizing why that would upset anyone. They are hicks and they’re proud of it.

Pa, Arnie, and Eldon also live up to their name in that they enjoy hacking people up. They’re the Hackers and they are really into hacking. When they see a man hitchhiking, they chop off his thumb as they drive by. When they pick up another hitchhiker, they end up strangling her. When a fisherman tells them to find another place to fish, Arnie and Eldon put an abrupt end to his fishing days.

Pa, Arnie, and Eldon have been hired to fix up the barn on a nearly deserted property. Marcie (Michelle Rank) is house-sitting and she soon finds herself being menaced by the Hackers. And while that’s definitely a scary situation, Marcie does have one big fact on her side: Arnie and Eldon are idiots. They’re the type who accidentally lose a finger while using a radial saw. Really, I’m surprised that Pa keeps them employed. If Pa simply did the job by himself, he’d probably get finished and get paid a lot quicker. Instead, he spends a lot of time dealing with Arnie and Eldon’s messes.

This is pretty much the epitome of a late 80s SOV slasher film. This was pretty much the only film that the majority of the cast appeared in, and it only has a 70-minute runtime. It’s hard to believe that a 70-minute movie could have any wasted moments, but this one does. There are scenes in which Arnie and Eldon seem to literally spend hours arguing about nothing. There’s no real suspense. The special effects are definitely on the cheap side. It’s a regional film, through and through.

And yet, there’s something oddly likable about a film like The Hackers. It’s an amateur film that was made by some guy in Michigan in 1988, and yet, I’m sitting here in Texas and I’m reviewing it in 2026. Because the film was shot on location and it was made by a bunch of amateurs, there’s an authenticity to the film that you wouldn’t necessarily get from a more professionally shot film. When it was made, it may have just been another regional horror flick. Today, though, it’s a time capsule. Watching a film like The Hackers is about as close as any of us are going to get to using a time machine.