Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

From Iceland to Malibu, you can’t keep a good Viking down.

Episode 2.12 “Frozen Out Of Time”

(DIr by Rick Jacobson, originally aired on February 9th, 1997)

After a volcanic eruption in Iceland, a frozen Viking boat is discovered floating in the ocean.  Inside the boat are two Vikings, who have spent the past 900 years in blocks of ice.  Under the orders of Dr. Lancaster (Edward Mulhare), the Vikings are transported to Malibu.  Lancaster’s plan is to thaw the Vikings out and see if they can be revived.  Daimont Teague, who has a habit of popping up anywhere that someone is trying to do something stupid, is not sure if Dr. Lancaster knows what he’s doing so he decides to call Mitch and Ryan to the lab.

Now, you can justifiably say, “What is Mitch going to do with a frozen Viking?”  It’s a legitimate question.  Of course, you can also wonder why Dr. Lancaster thinks that he’ll be able to revive the Vikings.  I mean, they’ve been frozen for 900 years!  That’s a long time to float around in a block of ice.

Of course, the Vikings are revived.  Unfortunately, it turns out that they were on that boat because they were trying to settle a blood feud.  The first Viking (Sven-Ole Thorsen) goes on a rampage through the lab and then runs around Malibu pier.  Mitch and Griff are able to capture him and bring him back to the lab.  Unfortunately, the other Viking (Nils Allen Stewart) has woken up and the two Vikings soon reignite their interrupted duel to the death.

I’m actually leaving out a few details but you can probably guess everything that happens in this episode from what I’ve told you.  It’s not really a shock when Mitch turns out to be an expert in Viking culture.  It’s also not a surprise when the two Vikings end up killing each other and Mitch gives them a traditional Viking funeral.  It’s not just that Mitch puts them on a wooden raft and then shoots a flaming arrow at it.  It’s that Mitch dramatically yells, “Valhalla!” while doing so.

Myself, I’m a bit curious about how the Vikings manage to go right back to fighting as soon as they thawed out.  It would seem like, after 900 years of lying prone in one position, they would be a little bit stiff.  I would imagine that there would at least be some backpain or maybe a touch of arthritis.  (I mean, I’m not even 40 and I’ve already got arthritis in my ankle.)  Also consider that the Vikings have no trouble breathing the air, despite the fact that Los Angeles’s polluted air is undoubtedly a lot different from what their lungs are used to.  And that’s not even to mention all of the germs that the Vikings have never experienced before.  It seems like the Vikings should have at least had a cold or something.

Was this episode a good one?  Hey, it featured David Hasselhoff, Angie Harmon, and two 900 year-old Vikings.  Of course, it was good!  Baywatch Nights is always at its best when it embraces the absurdity and there’s nothing more absurd than this episode.