Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.11 “My Mother, My Chaperone/The Present/The Death and Life of Sir Albert Demerest/Welcome Aboard”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Is your mind on a new romance?  Are you ready to set sail for adventure?

Episode 8.11 “My Mother, My Chaperone/The Present/The Death and Life of Sir Albert Demerest/Welcome Aboard”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on November 24th, 1984)

Your Love Boat crew is sailing to London!

This is another one of those two-hour episodes that was shot on location.  I always enjoy these episodes, even if they are mostly just extended travelogues.  This one actually has a few good storylines to go along with the scenes of the crew walking around London and France.

For instance, Marc Singer plays John Neary, Judy’s ex-husband who boards the cruise in an attempt to win her back.  This was the first storyline to really feature Judy as someone other than just the perky replacement for Julie.  We saw how happy she was at the prospect of getting together with John but we also saw how John consumed her life to the extent that she started screwing up at work.  When John suggested that Judy’s job really wasn’t that important to begin with, we saw why their marriage failed in the first place.  This was the first episode in which Judy really felt like a member of the group.

Colleen Dewhurst played Maud Correll (Colleen Dewhurst), a former actress who is sailing to London with her son, Byron (Peter Barton).  On the cruise, Maud tells Byron that his father is actually the distinguished actor, Sir Albert Demerest (Trevor Howard).  In London, Maud and Sir Albert meet and, in a wonderfully acted scene, Sir Albert says he isn’t sure that he wants to meet the son that he previously didn’t know he had.  “It’s been 20, 21 years,” Sir Albert says, “it’s too late.”  Still, Byron wants to be an actor and he visits Sir Albert at work.  Albert is filming a commercial and he keeps flubbing his lines.  At first, Byron is upset that his father would sell out his talents but eventually, he comes to understand that, sometimes, an actor doesn’t have a choice.  The bills have to be paid.

This story was surprisingly good.  Dewhurst, Howard, and Barton all gave heartfelt performances.  Howard was obviously not in the best of health when he appeared on The Love Boat but his fragile appearance only adds to the poignance of the story.

Speaking of good performances, the great German actress Lili Palmer plays novelist Lily Marlowe.  Lily is a cynic about love and she’s concerned when she sees that her virginal daughter, Samantha (Anna-Alicia), is falling for Roger Wembly (Morgan Stewart).  And when Samantha runs into Roger’s wife in London, it appears that Lily is right.  However, Roger then takes over Speakers’ Corner and gives a speech about how much he loves Samantha and how he and his wife are getting divorced.  He wins over both Samantha and Lily.  While the story might have been a standard Love Boat melodrama (and how convenient was that divorce?), the scenes of Lily, Samantha, and Roger in London were nice to look at.  (Rainy, misty London was lovely.)  And the use of Speakers’ Corner was a reminder of what the UK used to be.

Finally, Kathy Ross (Loretta Swit) decides to test the fidelity of her husband, Leonard (Dennis Holahan), by hiring a prostitute to seduce him.  The prostitute, Monika (Catherine Oxenberg), hopes to get her hands on Leonard’s money by lying and breaking up his marriage with Kathy.  But, after seeing how terrible Leonard feels after Kathy leaves him, Monika has a change of heart and tells the truth.  This was the weakest of the episode’s stories but Catherine Oxenberg did have a few funny lines.

All in all, this was a great cruise!  London brought out the best of The Love Boat.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Guy Hamilton Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

104 years ago today, the British director Guy Hamilton was born.  Though Hamilton rarely seems to get as much credit as Terence Young, he was one of the most important of the early James Bond directors.  With Goldfinger, he set the template the many subsequent Bond films would follow: an over-the-top villain, nonstop action, and one liners.  (“No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”  Not to mention, “I must be dreaming.”)  Hamilton went on to direct Sean Connery’s final Bond outing and he also directed the first two films to star Roger Moore as 007, all three of which are rather underrated in my opinion.  Guy Hamilton’s Bond films reminded us that James Bond’s cinematic adventures work best when they’re fun to watch, which is something that I think the modern Bond films would be well-served to consider.

In honor of Guy Hamilton’s contributions to my favorite film franchise, here are….

4 Shots From 4 Films

Goldfinger (1964, dir by Guy Hamilton)

Diamonds are Forever (1971, dir by Guy Hamilton)

Live and Let Die (1973, dir by Guy Hamilton)

The Man With The Golden Gun (1974, dir by Guy Hamilton)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.19 “Near Death”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week’s episode is stupid even for Pacific Blue.

Episode 4.19 “Near Death”

(Dir by Gary Winter, originally aired on April 4th, 1999)

Before I say anything else about this episode, allow me to say this: Ugh.

Okay, so check this out. A group of home invaders, led by Claire (Monica Louwerens) and her husband Milo (Matt Borlenghi), are in a van, fleeing from their latest robbery. TC, Chris, Cory, and Bobby are all chasing after them on their bikes. The van takes a sharp turn, the passenger-side door flies open, and Claire falls out. TC swerves to avoid Claire and is thrown straight into an electrical junction box. TC gets electrocuted.

Cory, Chris, and Bobby all arrive and immediately run over to TC. TC isn’t breathing. There’s no heartbeat. Cory and Bobby perform CPR. TC, meanwhile, is having a near-death experience, which means that we get a montage of old clips. They manage to bring TC back to life, but no one bothers to check on Claire. Claire ends up in a coma and subsequently dies at the hospital. Milo blames the cops for ignoring his wife while all of them gathered around TC.

…and Milo is absolutely right. Don’t get me wrong. It makes sense that Cory, Bobby, and especially Chris would be worried about TC. But it doesn’t change the fact that they basically just left another gravely injured person on the street while they gathered around TC. This is not the first time that something like this happened on Pacific Blue, and it’s yet another example of our heroes being rather selfish people.

Later, Cory announces to all the other bicycle cops that their first priority is to track down Milo and his gang because “this one is personal.” In other words, don’t worry about any of the other crimes that might be happening in Santa Monica because those crimes don’t directly involve any of the show’s stars. As is often the case with this show, it’s never really explained why the case apparently only belongs to the bicycle patrol. We don’t see any burglary detectives investigating the home invasions or anything like that. I guess the bike patrol has jurisdiction over everything.

As for TC, he reacts to his near-death experience by becoming more philosophical. He’s determined to always tell the truth. Over the course of the episode, he insults all four of the rookies: Granger, Cruz, Jamie, and Monica. Later, once TC starts to return to normal, he apologizes to Granger, Cruz, and Jamie but smirks when Monica asks if TC has anything he wants to say to her. “Nope,” he says. It’s kind of weird how this show wants its audience to hate Monica despite the fact that Monica is usually the only one of the cops who can be depended upon to do her job.

This episode really annoyed me. There was just something really annoying about a show about bicycle cops attempting to impart some sort of philosophical message about life. Did no one consider that TC is nowhere near a deep enough character to be believable as someone who worries about the larger questions of existence? Did no one consider that Jim Davidson’s limited range made him exactly the wrong actor for this type of story? In the past, TC was always dull but reliable. In this episode, he’s condescending. Since Chris and Cory were already condescending and have been for several seasons, TC joining them pushed this episode to new heights of unearned smugness.

This was an annoying episode. At least no one went undercover.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.18 “Breaking Up”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

It’s Tommy D’s birthday!

Episode 2.18 “Breaking Up”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 12th, 1994)

Lindsay wants to buy Tommy a great birthday present but, unfortunately, she’s broke.  All of her friends are broke.  It looks like they’re going to have to cancel Tommy’s birthday this year.  But then Brian comes up with a plan.  What if they convince Belding to let Brian and Bobby be in charge of the video yearbook and then the use the camera to shoot a birthday video Tommy while, at the same time, screwing over all of the students who actually want a yearbook?

It’s a great idea!  Bobby films Linsday talking about how much she dislikes everything that Tommy is really into, like cars.  Bobby also films Tommy growing close to Katie Keller (Kim Baranof), Brian’s never before-mentioned sister who does not appear to be from Switzerland.  (In all fairness, she could be a stepsister.  The show has never really made it clear just why exactly Brian left Switzerland for Bayside so maybe his mother married an American or something.)  Katie likes cars and videogames, just like Tommy!

Realizing that Tommy and Lindsay’s relationship is in trouble, Brian pays off a lot of other students to tell Tommy that Katie’s been coming onto them.  Wow, way to slutshame you own sister, Brian.  What a jerk.  Anyway, Tommy puts the kibosh on his growing attraction to Katie but, at his birthday party, Lindsay learns about how Brian spread rumors about Katie to save Lindsay’s relationship with Tommy.  Lindsay and Tommy admit to not having much in common and Saved By The Bell: The New Class’s longest relationship comes to an end….

And that’s  not really a good thing for either Lindsay or Tommy D.  This isn’t like when Slater and Jessie used to break up.  Slater and Jessie actually had personalities that went beyond who they were dating.  The same can’t really be said about Tommy and Lindsay.  It’s not the fault of the actors, as Jonathan Angel and Natalia Cigliuti were actually two of the more likable members of the ensemble.  It’s just that Saved By The Bell: The New Class was never about complex characters.

It’s also not about continuity.  Lindsay and Tommy D are still dating in the country club episodes.  Because all of the members of the Gang already knew Screech in the country club episodes, that means that they had to have taken place in the summer after the school episodes.  Plus, in this episode, Brian is not dating Rachel and that again means that the country club episodes had to happen after this episode.  So, Lindsay and Tommy D are either going to get back together or the show’s writers just didn’t care.

What a mess!

Scene That I Love: Garrison Meets X in JFK

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today is Oliver Stone’s birthday so, for all conspiracy-loving readers, here is a key scene from Stone’s 1991 film, JFK!  In this scene, Kevin Costner’s Jim Garrison meets the mysterious man known as X (played by the much-missed Donald Sutherland).  X explains the conspiracy to Garrison.

This scene certainly convinced a lot of people.  Personally, I think Oswald acted alone but one cannot deny Stone’s talent as a filmmaker.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Jean Renoir Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

132 years ago today, the great French film director Jean Renoir was born in Paris!  The son of Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Jean would go on to become just as revolutionary a force in the world of cinema as his father was in the world of painting.  Today, in honor of the birth and legacy of Jean Renoir, here are….

4 Shots From 4 Jean Renoir Films

Grand Illusion (1937, dir by Jean Renoir, DP: Christian Matras)

The Rules of the Games (1939, dir by Jean Renoir, DP: Jean-Paul Alphen, Jean Bachelet, Jacques Lemare, Alain Renoir)

The Southerner (1945, dir by Jean Renoir, DP: Lucien N. Adroit)

The Woman On The Beach (1947, dir by Jean Renoir. DP: Leo Tover and Harry J. Wild)

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 6.8 “Head Over Heels”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch falls in love.

Episode 6.8 “Head Over Heels”

(Dir by Richard Irving, originally aired on December 5th, 1982)

Ponch falls in love.

Well,  of course he does.

Listen, it’s not like Bobby is going to be allowed to fall in love.  Bruce isn’t going to fall in love.  Grossman?  He’s been on this show since the beginning and he’s still struggling to even get a date.  Nope, if anyone on CHiPs was going to fall in love, it was going to be Ponch.  Watching this episode and taking the last few seasons into account, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was specifically written into Erik Estrada’s contract.

We all know what we’re watching.

Ponch falls for Vanessa (Beverly Adams), a teacher who he meets while speaking at a Mothers Against Drunk Driving meeting.  It’s a whirlwind romance.  Sure, they have their problems.  Vanessa isn’t sure that she can handle falling in love with a “street cop” who puts his life in danger every day.  Ponch gets mad when he sees Vanessa talking to her ex (Dennis Holahan).   But eventually, Vanessa realizes that Ponch will always be a cop and Ponch is informed that talking does not necessarily equal cheating.  Ponch asks Vanessa to marry him.  He gives her a “space puppy” that he buys from a kid on a street corner.  (“He’s not really from space,” the kid says.  Hey, kid, we saw Ponch battle a UFO a few weeks ago.)  Everything is perfect….

And then, during a big picnic to celebrate the engagement, Vanessa gets run over by a drunk driver.  Vanessa dies with Ponch holding her.  It should have been a big dramatic and emotional moment and perhaps it would have been if the show had let the scene play out as opposed to dropping in a montage of flashbacks to scenes that we had just watched ten minutes ago.  Perhaps if the episode had been scored to the unnerving silence that comes with most tragedies, it would have brought tears to my eyes in a way that the adult contemporary romantic ballad did not.  We get the full Erik Estrada experience as Vanessa dies, with Erik trying so hard to force us to cry that the performance runs the risk of having the opposite effect.  Ponch is distraught but Estrada still makes sure that the camera gets his good side.

I’ll say this.  I appreciate that the show’s anti-drunk driving message.  (Rumor has it that this episode was specifically made in an attempt to turn down the heat after Tom Reilly was arrested for driving under the influence and the real Highway Patrol  threatened to pull their sponsorship as a result.)  Imagine the episode’s impact if the victim had been someone we actually knew as opposed to a one-off character who was so obviously being set up to tragically die that she might as well have had “Doomed” stamped onto her forehead.  As it is, Vanessa ends up feeling more like a plot device than an actual human.

That said, don’t drink and drive.  It’s not worth it.