Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/4/26 — 10/10/26


The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the Amazing Race here.

Austin City Limits (PBS)

On Friday night, I watched a performance by Sienna Spiro.  She was okay.  I prefer EDM but that’s not the Austin City Limits way.

Carrie (Prime)

I started watching Mike Flanagan’s Carrie on Friday.  I’ve got two more episodes to go so I’ll probably review it tomorrow.  I’ll hold off on giving my thoughts until then.

Fear Itself (YouTube)

I’ve been watching and posting episodes of Fear Itself all week.

Kitchen Nightmares (Tubi)

I watched four episodes on Wednesday.  Two of the episodes deal with the Main Street Bistro and its arrogant owner.  One episode was about Yanni’s, a Greek restaurant owned by a loud family.  The final episode was the classic episode that featured Gordon’s visit to Amy’s Baking Company in Scotsdale, Arizona.  It’s hard to believe that episode is now 13 years old.

The Steve Wilkos Show (Tubi)

I watched two episodes on Tuesday.  Both dealt with bad and abusive parents.  Steve got mad and yelled a lot but he was totally justified in doing so.  Some people really don’t deserve to be parents.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about Survivor here.

Bonus Horror On Television: Final Curtain (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)


1957’s Final Curtain is a short, 22-minute film in which a mysterious man (Duke Moore) wanders around a creepy and seemingly abandoned theater.  While Dudley Manlove (who played Eros the Alien in Plan Nine From Outer Space) provides narration, the man sees many strange things in the theater.  What is real and what is merely a hallucination?  Watch to find out!

Final Curtain was envisioned, by director Edward D. Wood, as being the pilot for a horror anthology series.  Though none of the networks were interested in buying Wood’s proposed series, Wood considered Final Curtain to be his finest film and it certainly is a bit more atmospheric than the typical Wood film.  The role of the mysterious man was written for Bela Lugosi but, after Lugosi passed away, Duke Moore was cast in the role instead.

From 1957, here is Final Curtain.

Horror on TV: Fear Itself 1.10 “Chance” (dir by John Dahl)


Tonight’s episode of Fear Itself features Ethan Embry as Chance Miller, whose run of bad luck gets even worse once he finds himself having to deal with an evil doppelganger of himself.  This psychological thriller was directed by noir specialist, John Dahl.

This was one of the episodes of Fear Itself that was filmed in 2008 but wasn’t aired before the show went on hiatus.  It was included when the show was released on DVD in 2009.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 3.0 “Summerfest Special”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, the third of Baywatch begins with a special!

Episode 3.0: “Summerfest Special”

(Originally aired September 13, 1992)

“Hi, I’m David Hasselhoff, here to welcome you to the Summerfest special.”

The third season of Baywatch starts not with a story about Mitch Buchannon and his fellow lifeguards, but with a breezy special about the California lifestyle and what viewers can expect from the upcoming season. David Hasselhoff stands on the beach in his Baywatch uniform and earnestly talks about how important lifeguards are and how the show is all about celebrating their heroism.

“Life’s a beach,” Hasselhoff says, “and everyone’s life is at the beach.”

“We’ll be back with the latest in barely legal swimwear!” announcer Sean “Hollywood” Hamilton says as the special goes to commercial. Yes, that is the actual line.

In between shots of beachgoers in bikinis, the Summerfest Special features interviews with the cast members joining Baywatch in season 3. Susan Anton talks about being dramatically taller than her on-screen daughter, Nicole Eggert. David Charvet is introduced as “Baywatch’s newest bad boy.” Alexandra Paul says that maybe her character and Mitch will hook up, then laughs. Kelly Slater says that he’s not really an actor, but he joined the cast to show the world what “surfing is all about.” Pamela Anderson says that she’s looking forward to playing a “metaphysical character” because she’s very metaphysical herself. Gregory Alan Williams, who is being promoted to regular status in season 3, talks about saving a bystander during a riot because “I don’t like mobs.”

In between even more shots of beachgoers in bikinis, Hasselhoff talks about his music career and says that Baywatch is a show the entire family can watch. He adds, “Skimpy apparel is a part of the appeal.” This is followed by a montage of women in bikinis.

The Summerfest Special isn’t streaming on Tubi or Prime, but it is available on YouTube. The version I watched included all of the commercials that aired with the show. There weren’t any pharma commercials, which I appreciated. In America, we don’t really realize how bombarded we are with commercials for medicine with potentially deadly side effects until we get a chance to watch a complete broadcast from a time when no one in their right mind would think of advertising prescription medication on television.

Instead, I got a lot of commercials for local businesses and special musical compilation albums. There was a commercial for a Dodge dealership that bragged about how their vehicles came with airbags. In the middle of a commercial for a gospel album, a preacher said, “Who the hell left the gate open?” and everyone in the church cheered. A woman quit her job with confidence because of her Secret deodorant. “I’ll borrow my mother’s scarf,” a young woman who reminded me of myself declared, “but my mother’s tampons? No way!” A bunch of teen soccer players announced they’d rather drink “Sunny D” than “soda” or “purple stuff.” I’m from the South, so it always sounds weird to hear people refer to Coke as soda. It’s even weirder to see people preferring an orange drink to it.

If I seem to be spending a lot of time on the commercials, that’s because they felt like little mini time machines. Watching them was like taking a 30-second trip back to the early ’90s. As for the rest of the special, it was essentially a lengthy commercial for Baywatch and bikinis, but everyone interviewed seemed to be in a really good mood. They were having fun, and that’s the important thing.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Sledge Hammer 1.9 “Magnum Farce”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!

A man’s got to know his limitations.

Episode 1.9 “Magnum Farce”

(Dir by Charles Braverman, originally aired on November 22nd, 1986)

Someone is executing the criminals that the justice system fails to convict.  The new district attorney, Ms. Collins (Janice Lynde), demands that the police discover who is acting as judge, jury, and executioner.  Sledge Hammer is not happy about his new assignment.  Not only is he having to go after people who hate criminals almost as much as he does but he’s also having to work for a woman.

When the latest victim holds up two fingers before dying, Sledge Hammer assumes that he’s saying he was shot by hippies.  However, when the shell casings turn out to be from police-issued ammunition, Sledge realizes that the victim was actually signing that he had been shot by two cops.  “I’m really bad at Charades,” Hammer explains.

Hammer and Trunk stage a fight so that the vigilantes will attempt to recruit Sledge Hammer.  It works, even though Hammer accidentally knocks out Trunk.  However, it turns out that the head of the vigilantes is none other than the liberal district attorney, Ms. Collins!

If this sounds familiars, that because this episode borrows a lot from the classic Dirty Harry sequel, Magnum Force.  The vigilantes are even motorcycle cops, just like in the earlier film.  Whereas Magnum Force was a rather grim film, this episode is silly even by the standards of Sledge Hammer.  The two murders are largely bloodless, the dialogue is full of non-sequiturs, and the whole thing ends with Ms. Collins firing her gun at Sledge Hammer while Sledge calmly stands still because, according to him, women are terrible shots.  The humor is nonstop and bizarre and the end result is the funniest episode since the pilot.

My favorite moment cames towards the end, when Captain Trunk burst into Ms. Collins’s mansion with several other police officers.  When Hammer asks Trunk to explain to Collins the careful police work that went into uncovering her role as the head of the vigilantes, Tunk replies, “I live next door.”

For once, Sledge Hammer makes the city safe for criminals and it’s absolutely hilarious.  He knows what he’s doing.

Horror On TV: Fear Itself 1.9 “Something With Bite” (dir by Ernest Dickerson)


On tonight’s episode of Fear Itself, Wendell Pierce plays a veterinarian who gets bitten by a werewolf and then has to prove that he’s not the same werewolf who is currently on a killing spree.  This episode was directed by Ernest Dickerson, who first came to prominence as Spike Lee’s cinematographer and subsequently directed several horror films and thrillers of his own.

This episode didn’t air because Fear Itself was put on hiatus in July of 2008.  However, it was included when the show was subsequently released n DVD.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.14 “Family Ties”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, the matriarch of a powerful Massachusetts political family comes to St. Eligius.

Episode 4.14 “Family Ties”

(Dir by Allan Arkush, originally aired on January 22nd, 1986)

After Elliot makes a clerical error that leads to one of his patients getting a mohawk, he’s more than happy to be assigned to check on a sick gorilla. Elliot not only diagnoses the gorilla as suffering from a brain tumor (luckily, it’s not malignant) but also gets a date with the animal’s keeper, Dr. Valerie Harding (Diana Canova).

When Fiscus freaks out about getting older, he tries to push up his wedding date with Mona and pressures her to abandon her career to start a family immediately.  After Fiscus interrupts an operation to argue with her, Mona dumps him.   (“I told you he was a bubblehead,” Dr. Craig says.) When Fiscus learns that his sperm has been used in an IVF procedure, he becomes obsessed with tracking down the woman who might be having his child. He then runs into Morrison’s ex-girlfriend, Clancy (Helen Hunt), and is soon flirting with her.

Why is Clancy back at the hospital? Morrison slipped on a wet floor and injured his knee. He has to have surgery. Clancy comes up with Morrison’s little-seen son, Pete. Pete, for his part, wanders over to Ken Valere (George Deloy), who, along with his wife (Deborah May), has been having second thoughts about whether to use a surrogate. Meeting Pete inspires the Valeres to adopt. So I guess that plotline is finally over, and I won’t have to ignore it anymore.

The majority of this episode is taken up with the arrival of Augusta Endicott (Dorothy McGuire), the matriarch of one of Massachusetts’s most powerful political families. She’s also the widow of a notorious anti-Semite, one who kept Auschlander from getting appointed to a state board in the 1960s.

From the minute Augusta and her family show up at the hospital, it’s obvious that they’re meant to be stand-ins for the Kennedys, even though Endicott is not an Irish name. (One gets the feeling the Endicotts are meant to be WASPy Episcopalians.) I always find it curious when an obvious Kennedy stand-in turns up on a television show. Does that mean St. Elsewhere takes place in a universe where the Kennedys don’t exist? The parallels are so obvious that it seems strange no one would point them out in-universe. This show is set in Boston. It seems as if someone would say, “Hey, Augusta Endicott sure has a lot in common with Rose Kennedy.”

Augusta is in the hospital for a checkup. She’s having heart problems, but she tells Dr. Craig that she would prefer to let nature take its course rather than spend the rest of her life having surgeries. Augusta also arranges for Auschlander to finally be appointed to the state medical board.

I’m getting the feeling that the Endicott family is going to be around for at least a few episodes. I can’t say I’m particularly enthused about the idea, but I get it. This is a show about Boston. You’ve got to have Kennedys.

A Horrific Blast From The Past: Dr. Tongue’s House of Cats In 3D


Today, we have another comedic blast from the past from SCTV.

Like last week’s, this one features Joe Flaherty’s Count Floyd.  It also features John Candy, Eugene Levy, and Catherine O’Hara.  So, put on your 3D glasses and enjoy these scenes from Dr. Tongue’s House of Cats!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 2.5 “Killer In A Halloween Mask”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Hunter faces off against a scarred killer wearing a mask!  Pretty scary, kids!

Episode 2.5 “Killer In A Halloween Mask”

(Dir by Sidney Hayers and Michael Peerce, originally aired on October 26th, 1985)

After getting the bill for yet another high-speed chase involving Hunter and McCall, Captain Wyler (the great Bruce Davison) decides that they need to take a week off from causing trouble.  He assigns them to work as technical advisors for a cop show called Street Heat. 

At first, everything seems fine.  Hunter hits on the publicity woman.  The star of the show, J.J. Hendrix (Stephen Shortridge), asks McCall out to dinner.  But then, one night, a man in a cheap plastic mask breaks into Hendrix’s house, bashes in his skull in with a fireplace poker, and sprays acid on the star’s face!  (I guess he wasn’t a fan of the last season of Welcome Back Kotter.)

A masked killer is targeting the cast and crew of Street Heat!  Hunter and McCall suspect that it might be Dave Tolan (Gary Graham), the former star of the show whose career ended when he set himself on fire while freebasing.  The horribly scarred Dave now works at a wax museum and has access to all sorts of chemicals and acids.  Plus, Hendrix was dating Dave’s ex-girlfriend….

And, of course, Hunter and McCall are correct.  We know that they’re correct because we see Dave plotting the murders at the start of the episode.  I have to admit that I spent the entire episode waiting for some sort of twist.  I thought Dave would have an accomplice or something similar.  But nope, it’s just Dave.  It all leads to a confrontation in the wax museum.  During a struggle with Hunter, Dave gets impaled.  Hunter doesn’t say, “Works for me,” but you can tell that he’s thinking it.

There weren’t any big surprises in this episode but I still enjoyed it.  It aired on October 26th and it was obviously produced with Halloween  in mind.  The late Gary Graham gave an appropriately unhinged performance as Dave.  The scenes on the set of Street Heat also served as a commentary on Hunter as a show.  After watching Hendrix “shoot” a suspect in a scene that felt like it could have been lifted from any episode of Hunter, McCall and Hunter commented that Street Heat wasn’t very realistic.

Fans of washed-up politicians will be happy to see Jesse “The Body” Ventura in this episode.  He shows up at the start of the show.  He’s been arrested for attacking his dentist.  Ventura complains about his toothache.  Hunter knocks the tooth out of his mouth.  Ventura thanks him.  Whenever I see Jesse Ventura in an old TV show or movie, I always regret that Arnold Schwarzenegger was the only other future governor that he co-starred with.  If Fred Dryer had later been elected governor of California, this episode would have been legendary.

Governor Dryer.  It has a nice ring to it.

Horror On Television: Fear Itself 1.8 “Skin and Bones” (dir Larry Fessenden)


On tonight’s episode of Fear Itself, Doug Jones plays a rancher who disappears on one snowy night.  After ten days, he returns but there’s something different about him.  This episodes is a good example of rural horror.  Don’t go hunting unless you’re sure you can get back.

This episode originally aired on July 31st, 2008.  It was the last episode to air before Fear Itself went on hiatus for the Summer Olympics.  The show never returned, though the remaining five episodes were subsequently released on DVD.