It was 84 years ago today that the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. The attack was the deadliest foreign attack on the U.S. until September 11th. Today, I pay respect to the 2,403 brave Americans who lost their lives that day.
This from the film, Pearl Harbor. The movie is not that good but the song is beautiful.
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
4 Shots From 4 Films
Sands of Iwo Jima (1949, Dir by Allan Dwan)
The Big Red One (1980, Dir by Sam Fuller)
Saving Private Ryan (1998, Dir by Steven Spielberg)
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016, Dir. by Michael Bay)
Remember that time that Bruce Willis and a team of oil drillers saved all of humanity from a giant asteroid that was apparently the size of Texas?
Sure, you do! Everyone remembers Armageddon!
1998’s Armageddon is a film that doesn’t get a lot of respect but which everyone remembers. There’s been a lot of movies made about giant asteroids on a collision path with the Earth. Ever since scientists announced that a collision with a comet or an asteroid probably killed the dinosaurs, there’s been a somewhat irrational fear that the same thing could happen to us. Back in 1978, Sean Connery and Karl Malden tried to stop a Meteor (and failed). In 1998, the same year that Armageddon came out, Morgan Freeman, Robert Duvall, and Elijah Wood tried to stop an asteroid from causing a Deep Impact (and failed). Adam McKay made an entire film about everyone saying, “Don’t Look Up,” in an attempt to promote increased panic about climate change (and failed). (“I’m so scared!” Leonardo DiCaprio shouted and audiences responded, “Oh, calm down.”) And yet, it’s Armageddon — ridiculed by critics, endlessly parodied by other movies — that people use as their go-to source for commenting on the prospect of a mass extinction event. Mostly because, in Armageddon, humanity didn’t fail. Bruce Willis showed that asteroid who was boss!
Why do we love Armageddon? A lot of it has to do with the cast. Not only do you have Bruce Willis battling an asteroid but you’ve also got Steve Buscemi, Owen Wilson, Ben Affleck, Will Patton, Michael Clarke Duncan, Peter Stormare, William Fichtner, and a host of others working with him. You’ve got Billy Bob Thornton working ground control. You’ve got Liv Tyler, somehow managing to give a decent performance even while Ben Affleck attacks her with animal crackers. It’s not just the cast is full of familiar and likable actors. It’s that the members of the cast know exactly what type of film that they’re appearing in and they all give exactly the right type of performance for that film. They deliver their lines with conviction while not making the mistake of taking themselves too seriously. Bruce Willis announces that his crew will destroy that asteroid in return for never having to pay taxes again and he announces with just the slightest hint of a smirk, knowing that the audience is going to cheer that moment.
But really, the real reason why Armageddon has survived that test of time is because it’s just so utterly shameless. Director Michael Bay will never be accused of being a subtle director but Bay instinctively understood that Armageddon was not a film that demanded subtlety. Armageddon is a film that demands that constantly moving camera and all of those carefully composed scenes that were clearly made so they could be included in the trailer. It’s a film about big moments and big emotions. Unlike something like Deep Impact, it doesn’t get bogged down in trying to be better than it actually is. Unlike Don’t Look Now, it doesn’t degenerate into a bunch of histrionic speeches. Armageddon exists to make the audience cheer and it succeeds. It takes guts to include a slow motion scene of a bunch of kids celebrating in front of a faded Kennedy For President poster but Bay is exactly the type of director who can pull that off. Michael Bay’s style is not right for a lot of films. But it was perfect for Armageddon.
As I sit here typing this, there are some people panicking because there’s speculation that a meteor is going approach the Earth in the 2030s. It’ll probably miss us but who knows? But you know what? I’m not worried at all. I’ve seen Armageddon. So, on this International Earth Day, let’s remember the courageous men who saved this planet back in 1998.
Previous Guilty Pleasures
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, the Vice Squad gets a big assignment.
Episode 2.21 “Free Verse”
(Dir by John Nicollela, originally aired on April 4th, 1986)
The wheelchair-bound poet, Hector Sandoval (played by Byrne Piven), is coming to Miami so that he can testify before a Congressional committee about the human rights abuses that are occurring in his home country, abuses that Hector claims have been partially funded by American interests. Hector is a world-famous poet but his history as an outspoken political dissident has made him politically important as well. He’s been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Meanwhile, the right-wing death squads from his own country want him dead. Because Sandoval is equally critical of his country’s rebels, the left wants him dead as well. They feel he has more value as a martyr than as a living dissident.
With so many people trying to kill this important, world-famous person, his safety in America is the government’s top-most concern. So, naturally, the task of protecting Sandoval is assigned not to the FBI, the CIA, or the Secret Service. Instead, it’s given to the Miami Vice Squad. You read that correctly. A bunch of undercover cops are assigned to protect one of the most important men in the world. They meet him when he lands in the airport and their pictures are immediately taken by the horde of reporters waiting for Sandoval’s arrival. I guess everyone’s cover is blown now.
This is not a particularly interesting episode. Obviously, the show was looking to make a point about not only the political situation in Central America but also the role of the U.S. government in propping up various dictators and turning a blind eye to human rights abuses. That’s fine. Indeed, watching an episode like this today serves as a good reminder that Chavez and Maduro were hardly the first dictators to take power in South and Central America. But this episode gets so caught up in making its political points that it forgets to be interesting.
A huge part of the problem is that the members of the Vice Squad spend a lot of this episode in the background. The emphasis is on Hector Sandoval and his daughter, Bianca (Yamil Borges). Unfortunately, Byrne Piven goes so over-the-top as Sandoval that it’s impossible to take the character seriously. It’s a genuinely bad performance and it makes the episode a bit of a chore to sit through. (Admittedly, it is entertaining watching Edward James Olmos refuse to show a hint of emotion while Sandoval devours all of the scenery in their scenes together.)
For celebrity watchers, Bianca Jagger shows up as an assassin but she doesn’t really get to do much. Luis Guzman and future director Michael Bay play the imaginatively named “Goon #1” and “Goon #3.” Otherwise — and especially when compared to the episodes that came before it — this is a surprisingly forgettable episode of Miami Vice.
Even if I didn’t tell you, I bet you would be able to guess that this music video was directed by Michael Bay. Bay brings the same techniques that he would later bring to films about blowing up asteroids and defending Alcatraz to this music video about sleeping all day and staying up all night. This was back when music wasn’t afraid to rock and music videos were all about having a good time.
Slaughter, unfortunately, was among the many metal acts that got pushed off of MTV by the Grunge Revolution but they’re still together and they’re still playing in front of enthusiastic audiences. If Slaughter seems like an aggressive name for a band whose music was mostly about having a good time, that’s because the band is named for lead singer Mark Slaughter, who can still hit those high notes.
Enjoy!
6. Todd Field
Todd Field has only directed three films over the past 23 years but all three of them have been outstanding. In The Bedroom is a film that grows in power with each subsequent viewing. Unfairly overlooked when it was originally released, Little Children is the film that movies like American Beauty and Revolutionary Road can only pretend to be. And finally, TAR is a film that will probably still be remembered after most of the other best picture nominees have been forgotten.
Todd Field received an Oscar nomination for his work on TAR so, technically, he could be an Oscar winner by the end of tonight. Realistically, though, it appears that The Daniels have got the award sewn up and Field will have to wait for another opportunity. I just hope that it doesn’t take Field another 16 years to film a follow-up to TAR.
Here are 5 other directors who I hope win an Oscar over the next ten years!
5. Joseph Kosinski
This year, Kosinski deserved a nomination for his work on Top Gun: Maverick. He didn’t receive one, largely because Top Gun Maverick was viewed as being more of a Tom Cruise movie than a Joseph Koskinski movie. While Cruise undoubtedly played a huge role in Maverick’s production, I think it’s a mistake to overlook the fact that Kosinski did a great job directing the film, respectfully paying homage to the visual style of the first film while also adding his own little quirks. With the wrong director, Maverick could have come across like a vanity project for an aging star. Under Kosinski’s direction, it was a terrific crowd-pleaser and one of the best of the year.
4. Robert Eggers
Robert Eggers seems destined to someday win an Oscar. The Witch, The Lighthouse, and The Northman were all films that could have fallen apart with the wrong director at the helm. Instead, Eggers was able to turn each one into a succes d’estime. Eggers will undoubtedly get his chance to add Oscar winner to his resume, probably sooner than later.
3. Paul Schrader
The acceptance speech would be legendary.
2. Michael Bay
Ambulance was good! I’m slowly coming around to Michael Bay. Movies have become so self-important lately that it’s kind of hard not to appreciate Michael Bay’s refusal to treat them as being anything other than an excuse to blow stuff up and have a good time. Plus, Michael Bay winning an Oscar would lead to an epic meltdown on the part of Film Twitter and who doesn’t want to witness that?
Granik is responsible for two of the best films of the last 15 years, Winter’s Bone and Leave No Trace. Both of these films took a sympathetic look at life on the fringes of conventional society and both of them introduced an exciting new talent to viewers, Jennifer Lawrence in Winter’s Bone and Thomasin McKenzie in Leave No Trace. Granik is one of those directors who tends to take her time between feature film projects but I still can’t wait to see what she does next!
Without further ado, here are my top 30 films of 2022!
(Why 30? Because Lisa doesn’t do odd numbers! Also, be sure to check out my picks for 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021! Wow, I’ve been doing this for a while!)
30. Marcel The Shell With Shoes On (dir by Dean Fleischer Camp)
An animated film with heart, Marcel The Shell With Shoes On would probably be ranked higher if Marcel’s favorite news show had been something other than 60 Minutes. Still, questionable viewing habits aside, Marcel and Nana Connie and all the other shells were amazing characters and the end of the movie brought tears to my mismatched eyes. With this film and I Want You Back, Jenny Slate had quite a year.
Released in February of this year, this film about Ted Kaczyski and his descent into madness was unfairly overlooked. Sharlto Copley was perfectly cast as Ted K. This is a film that probably won’t make Ted’s supporters happy but, at the same time, it also avoids painting him as just being a straight-out madman. It’s refusal to simplify makes the film far more than just another true crime biopic.
28. Dashcam (dir by Rob Savage)
Starring Annie Hardy as herself, this low-budget horror film is a scathing satire of life during the age of COVID and performative “wokeness.” After the past few years, there’s something rather cathartic about Hardy’s refusal to obey.
27. The Batman (dir by Matt Reeves)
At this point, I’m fairly cynical about comic book movies in general and Batman films in specific. I mean, how many Batmen have we had over the past ten years? (Actually, I think only four but it feels like a lot more!) That said, I enjoyed The Batman, for both its noirish atmosphere and it’s willingness to embrace the melodrama. You have to love the fact that the villain was basically a nerdy podcaster.
26. Operation Mincemeat (dir by John Madden)
Based on a true story, this film was a throwback to the earnest World War II films of the past. Colin Firth, Kelly MacDonald, Matthew McFayden, and Johnny Flynn were all well-cast and did their part to bring this moment of WWII history to life.
25. Father Stu (dir by Rosalind Ross)
You don’t have to be from a Catholic background to appreciate Father Stu but it probably helps. This was one of those roles that only Mark Wahlberg could have pulled off.
24. See How They Run (dir by Tom George)
This stylized murder mystery was terrifically entertaining and witty. Sam Rockwell and Saoirse Ronan are both treasures.
23. I Want You Back (dir by Jason Orley)
Two friends conspire to win back their respective romantic partners and end up falling in love with each other instead. This was an enjoyable comedy, one that was blessed with an outstanding cast that included Jenny Slate, Charlie Day, Scott Eastwood, and Gina Rodriguez. The scene in which Jenny Slate sings Suddenly Seymour is a classic.
22. Ambulance (dir by Michael Bay)
This was the film that Michael Bay was born to direct. For once, Bay’s hyperkinetic style was perfectly matched by the story being told. It also helped that the ambulance was a real ambulance and not a robot pretending to be an ambulance.
21.Send Me (dir by Nick Palmisciano)
This is a heart-breaking documentary about the efforts of 12 veterans to evacuate as many allies as they could during the disastrous withdraw from Afghanistan. This film deserved more attention than it got.
20. The Bombardment (dir by Ole Bornedal)
Based on a true story, this Danish film deals with the accidental bombing of a school during World War II. It’s been overshadowed a bit by All Quiet On The Western Front but, in its quieter way, The Bombardment is also a strong look at the horrors of war.
19. Goodnight Oppy (dir by Ryan White)
This is a poignant documentary about Opportunity, the NASA exploration rover that spent 15 years exploring Mars. This movie proves that a robot can make you cry.
18. Dark Glasses (dir by Dario Argento)
Don’t listen to the critics. This enjoyably over-the-top giallo was an entertaining return-to-form for Dario Argento.
17. Wildcat (dir by Melissa Lesh and Trevor Fost)
This poignant documentary follows a depressed veteran as he finds purpose helping to raise a baby ocelot in Peru. Be prepared to cry.
16. Apollo 10 1/2 (dir by Richard Linklater)
Richard Linklater’s animated film was well-received by critics but it’s still hard not to feel that it’s been a bit overlooked. Narrated by Jack Black, the film details the 1969 moon landing from the perspective of a child with a very active imagination. Nostalgic, sweet-natured, and ultimately rather moving, Apollo 10 1/2 is a film that celebrates life.
15. Three Minutes: A Lengthening (dir by Bianca Stigner)
This haunting and moving documentary, which is narrated by Helena Bonham Cater, examines a three-minute snippet of 16mm film that was shot in a Jewish town in Poland in 1938, shortly before the Nazis invaded. By examining every aspect of those three minutes, this documentary becomes both a memorial for the inhabitants of that town and a much-needed reminder of the horrors and reality of the Holocaust. With anti-Semitism and Holocaust denial on the rise, this is an important documentary.
14. The Northman (dir by Robert Eggers)
The Northman is occasionally thrilling and occasionally ludicrous but it’s always watchable. Robert Eggers finds moments of humor and odd beauty in this Viking epic. Nicole Kidman embraces the melodrama and goes all out. I just hope Valhalla was actually worth all the trouble.
13. Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (dir by Joel Crawford)
Yeah, you knew this film was going to show up on my list. To be honest, the film could have been about just about anything. I’d watch Puss In Boots read the phone book as long as Antonio Banderas returned to do his voice. The fact that the film itself was cute and even touching was an added bonus.
12. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio (dir by Guillermo del Toro and Mark Gustafson)
Yes, a puppet can make you cry.
11. Babylon (dir by Damien Chazelle)
Was it flawed? You bet. Did it run a little bit too long? Yes, it did. Could I have done without the scene with the elephant? You better believe it. That said, this film was so gloriously excessive and over-the-top that it was easy for me to forgive its flaws. The critics may not have liked it but Babylon is a film that will be rediscovered.
10. The Fabelmans (dir by Steven Spielberg)
I went back and forth over whether to put The Fabelmans or Babylon in the number ten spot. In a way, they’re kind of similar in that they have their flaws but they’re both saved by their director’s obvious love of cinema. In the end, David Lynch’s role as John Ford moved The Fabelmans into the 10th spot.
9. Everything Everywhere All At Once (dir by the Daniels)
To be honest, I think some people are going a little bit overboard in their praise for this film. Yes, it’s one of the year’s best but 2022 wasn’t that strong of a year and Everything is one of those probable Best Picture winners that, like Nomadland and CODA, will probably not be quite as celebrated after it actually wins. That said, Michelle Yeoh and especially Ke Huy Quan deserve all the praise that they’ve received and I appreciated that the film featured the destruction of an IRS office. It’s not as perfect as some say but, due largely to the cast, it still deserves to be in my top ten.
8. Nitram (dir by Justin Kurzel)
This is another unfairly overlooked film, this time from Australia. Caleb Landry Jones gives a powerful and disturbing performance as a troubled young man named Nitram who commits an act of shocking violence. Anthony LaPaglia and Judy Davis play Nitram’s parents, who are both troubled in their own individual ways. Essie Davis plays the older woman who falls in love with Nitram, despite the fact that Nitram is incapable of loving anyone.
7. Emily the Criminal (dir by John Patton Ford)
Aubrey Plaza plays Emily, who discovers that not only does crime pay but, in the gig economy, it’s one of those few ways to get ahead. Part thriller and part satire, Emily the Criminal reminds us that Plaza is one of the most interesting actresses working today.
6. All Quiet On The Western Front (dir by Edward Berger)
This German anti-war epic stays true to the themes of its source material while updating the plot for the modern era. The contrast between the generals and the diplomats planning battles and the soldiers dying in them is a powerful one.
5. Elvis (dir by Baz Luhrmann)
This wonderfully excessive biopic features good music, a great performance from Austin Butler, and a wonderfully eccentric one from Tom Hanks. Luhrmann is hardly a subtle director but Butler’s performance keeps the film from spiraling out of control.
4. Vengeance (dir by B.J. Novak)
This whip-smart satire of both true crime podcasts and the red state/blue state divide deserved far more attention than it received. Ashton Kutcher has actually become a surprisingly dependable character actor. Director and screenwriter Novak tells the story with sensitivity and a sharp eye for the absurd.
3. The Banshees of Inisherin (dir by Martin McDonagh)
In his best film yet, Martin McDonagh examines friendship, art, violence, and anger in Ireland. Brendan Gleeson no longer wants to be Colin Farrell’s friend. Farrell’s attempts to discover why leads to all sorts of surprising and macabre developments. Gleeson and Farrell have never been better. Kerry Condon and Barry Keoghan offer up poignant support.
2. Tar (dir by Todd Field)
Lydia Tar is a brilliant artist. Does it matter that she also might be a terrible human being? Todd Field’s return to filmmaking meditates on the meaning of art, morality, and the consequences of hubris. Cate Blanchett is perfectly cast. The scene where Tar talks to a student who objects to playing music by a white male is a real litmus test. Do you think Tar is a bully or do you think the student is being too sensitive? For all the talk about how Lydia dismisses the student’s claims, many also fail to note that the student is the one who calls her a “bitch” and runs out of the room. Much as in Field’s previous film, no one is as perfect or as justified or as blameless as they may believe.
And, finally, my top film of 2022 is….
After 2 years of lockdowns and pessimism, Top Gun: Maverick was finally released and it reminded audiences of what they loved about movies in the first place. Top Gun: Maverick was the movie that we needed in 2022.
Well, that concludes my late look back at 2022! Now, let’s focus on 2023!
Lisa Marie’s 2022 In Review:
Right now, you might be watching the Oscars and asking yourself, “I wonder what will be nominated next year.”
Well, it probably won’t be Michael Bay’s The Ambulance. Still, the film itself looks like it could be fun. Here’s the second trailer:
Meat Loaf, Rest in Peace.
To be honest, I knew Meat Loaf more as an actor and an occasional reality show participant than I did as a musician. Whenever I saw him interviewed, he seemed like a nice guy. He definitely came across as being a bit eccentric but the same can be said of almost any worthwhile artist. He was a musical performer with his own unique style and name. And, as is obvious by the reaction to the news of his passing, his music touched a lot of people.
Today’s music video of the day was obviously selected to honor his memory. That said, this video is also interesting as an early example of the work of future action maestro Michael Bay.
Winger’s the worst but this video for Can’t Get Enuff is interesting just because it was directed by Michael Bay, before he started his feature film career.
Everything about this video identifies it as being a Michael Bay production. It takes place on a hot day and it features a lot of sexy people finding ways to deal with the heat. The camera lingers on the sun, the bodies, and the city. It looks great even if it’s hard to imagine that any of the people in the video would actually be listening to Winger. The video was so popular that, even though Winger’s style of music was being overshadowed by newcomers like Nirvana, Can’t Get Enuff was still a hit for the band. Of course, just two years later, Beavis and Butthead premiered on MTV and viewers met Stewart, the loser wearing a Winger t-shirt. Whatever chance Winger had ever being considered cool in even a retro fashion pretty much ended as soon as Stewart said, “Hey, guys.”
Enjoy!
Through the Shattered Lens 