Tag Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.25 “The Dog Show: Putting on the Dog/Going to the Dogs/Women’s Best Friend/Whose Dog Is It Anyway?”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come abroad, we’re expecting you….

Uhmm, maybe not this week, Love Boat.

Episode 6.25 “The Dog Show: Putting on the Dog/Going to the Dogs/Women’s Best Friend/Whose Dog Is It Anyway?”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on March 26th, 1983)

This week’s episode stressed me out.

The cruise line is co-sponsoring a dog show that is going to be held in Mexico.  The dog that wins will not only receive $10,000 but will also become the new “face” of Honeycutt Dogfood.  All the contestants bring their dogs onboard the ship and take the cruise to Mexico.

Seriously, imagine the scene.  Hundreds of dogs on cruise ship, floating in the pool and running through the passageways — YIKES!  I will admit that the majority of the dogs were cute.  There was a white Samoyed dog named Tundra who was just adorable and who could do all sorts of tricks.  But still, I spent the whole episode wondering what would happen if a dog accidentally jumped (or fell — oh my God!) overboard.  What if one of the dogs had fleas and now, everyone on the boat had them too?  Who was cleaning up after the dogs?  And what about a passenger — like me, for instance — who wasn’t really a dog person and who bought a ticket without the knowledge that the ship itself would be home to hundreds of canines?

The storylines also made me anxious, just because none of them made much sense.  (It was obvious that the main concern for this episode was getting as much cute dog footage as possible.)  So, we had Isaac and Gopher buying Tundra from $8 but not realizing that she was a brilliant dog who could do hundreds of tricks.  Isaac and Gopher sold the dog to the Captain and Vicki, just to then realize that Tundra was a sure winner in the dog show.  Isaac and Gopher tried to convince the Captain to sell the dog back but it turned out the Captain already knew Tundra was a winner.  Of course, as employees of the cruise line, neither Gopher nor Isaac nor Vicky should have been allowed to enter a dog in the show in the first place.

And then we had Isaac’s aunt Tanya (Isabel Sanford) running around with a Chihuahua while her husband (Mel Stewart) got jealous.  And we had Pamela (Catherine Bach) realizing that Gary (Dirk Benedict) was the new owner of a dog that she had lost two years before.  And then there was boozy Mrs. Honeycutt (Jo Anne Worley) boarding the ship and searching for her husband, not realizing that he wouldn’t be arriving until the ship reached Mexico.  For his part, Mr. Honeycutt (Gordon Jump) spent most of this episode in Las Vegas with his secretary.

Finally, Harold Pack (Ray Buktencia), who worked in Honeycutt’s mailroom, boarded the boat with some forms from Mr. Honeycutt and was immediately mistaken for his boss.  Pretending to be Mr. Honeycutt, Harold romanced a dog owner named Wendy (Heather Thomas).  Imagine Wendy’s surprise when she learned Mrs. Honeycutt was on the boat and looking for her husband….

Oh God, I’m getting stressed just writing about all this.

Things worked out in the end.  Mr. Honeycutt, having returned from Vegas, announced that there was a tie and all the dogs were winners!  Harold protected Honeycutt’s secret and got promoted to Vice President.  Pamela and Gary decided to own the dog together.  Vicki got Tundra!  Yay!  I was happy about that.  Tundra was adorable!

This episode was exhausting.  Too many dogs, too many half-baked stories, too much overacting on the part of Isabel Sanford, it was just too much.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special New York Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens takes a look at New York.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 New York Films

Taxi Driver (1976, dir by Martin Scorsese, DP: Michael Chapman)

The Warriors (1979, dir by Walter Hill, DP: Andrew Laszlo)

Escape From New York (1981, dir by John Carpenter, DP: Dean Cundey)

1990: Bronx Warriors (1982, dir by Enzo G. Castellari, DP: Sergio Salvati)

Song of the Day: El Chacal by Ola Fresca

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

There’s always been something very annoying about the cult surrounding Che Guevara.  Because his face looked good on a poster and his execution was probably carried out by the CIA, a lot of people have deified a shallow-minded rich kid whose main accomplishment was executing several of his fellow countrymen and then totally failing in his attempts to overthrow the government of Bolivia.

Thankfully, there’s a song that tells the truth.  From Ola Fresca, here is El Chacal.

 

Scenes I Love: The Trial In National Lampoon’s Animal House

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I was feeling a bit under-the-weather last night.  Some of it was anxiety over the direction of the country.  Some of it was just the standard blues that I always feel after Halloween.  Horrorthon is such a big project that it always takes me a while to get back to normal once it ends.

Luckily, I’ve got movies to cheer me up.  Last night, I watched Happy Gilmore and I was going to share a scene from it today but it occurred to me that I’ve already shared both the fight with Bob Barker and Happy shouting, “You’re going to die, clown!” multiple times.  So, instead, I’m going to share another scene from a comedy that always makes me laugh.  This film was also a favorite of my father’s.

In 1978’s Animal House, Dean Wormer and the Student Court try to railroad the Delta House.  Needless, the Deltas aren’t going to stand for that.  When Hoover’s earnest defense fails to sway the Dean, the Deltas don’t hold back.  I love this movie and I love this scene.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.5 “Excessive Force”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Earlier tonight, I was thinking I might get to bed early as a way to battle my depression over the election in New York City.  Then I suddenly remembered that I still had to review this stupid show.

Episode 3.5 “Excessive Force”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on September 7th, 1997)

A bank is robbed in Santa Monica so Chris and Victor ride their little bicycles really fast to the scene of the crime.  Victor gets shot in the behind and he spends the rest of the episode with everyone laughing about the fact that it’s excruciatingly painful for him to sit down.  (Wow, what a great group of people.)  Chris shoots one of the robbers in the neck so he swears revenge on her.

Meanwhile, Palermo’s ex-wife is married to an abusive police detective.  She briefly moves back in with Palermo, they end up going at it on the couch, and their daughter gets upset.

As is almost always the case with this show, it’s hard to get involved in the human drama because all of the humans are pretty dull.  Chris ends up staying at TC’s apartment for her own safety and there’s a lot of “will-they-or-won’t-they” tension but it doesn’t add up to anything because TC is boring and Chris is equally boring so who cares?  Meanwhile, Lt. Palermo just comes across as being the volleyball coach from Hell.

Oddly, this episode had a really impressive guest cast.  Dey Young played Palermo’s ex-wife.  Cliff de Young played her new husband.  John Hawkes — as in future Oscar nominee John Hawkes — played the brother of the guy who wanted to kill Chris.  Even Dorian Gregory, from the weird second season of Baywatch Nights, showed up as an FBI agent.  The guest stars were the lucky ones.  None of them had to pretend to be excited about riding a bicycle.

What a silly show.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.17 “Awakening of Love/The Imposter”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  The show is once again on Tubi!

It’s time for a trip to 1984.

Episode 7.17 “Awakening of Love/The Imposter”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on March 17th, 1984)

Wendy Collins (Robin Mattson) is a beautiful model who cannot overcome her trust issues.  She fears that she might be frigid and she even resists Roarke’s attempts to make her fantasy of finding true love come true by setting her up with photographer (Rod McCrary).  Wendy finally reveals the truth to Roarke.  She grew up in a troubled home and, as a result, she has a hard time trusting people.  She’s only had one lover and the lover was….

“An older man?” Roarke asks.

“A woman,” Wendy reveals.

The camera zooms in on Roarke looking shocked.

Welcome to 1984!  Now, today, it’s pretty obvious what would happen.  Wendy would fall in love with the photographer’s assistant, Carla (Renee Lippin), and she would realize that there was nothing wrong with that.  But this episode aired in 1984, which means that Wendy has to find the courage to tell the photographer that her previous lover was a woman and that the photographer will then have to be willing to say that it doesn’t matter.  Basically, Wendy’s fantasy is to be reassured that she’s straight despite having had one same-sex relationship.

Yes, well, hmmm …. hey, what’s going on in the other fantasy?

Arthur Crane (John Davidson) has a compulsive disorder that leads to him assuming other people’s identities.  That’s quite a serious problem and Fantasy Island plays it for laughs.  Roarke tells Lawrence to follow Arthur around the Island and to keep Arthur from taking on anyone else’s identity.  Lawrence is terrible at his job.  (Tattoo could have done it!)  Arthur pretends to be a movie producer.  Arthur pretends to be Mr.  Roarke.  (Okay, that did make me laugh.)  Arthur pretends to be a doctor so Mr. Roarke zaps Arthur into an alternate universe where he is a doctor and he’s going to have to perform surgery on someone who has had a cerebral hemorrhage.  Arthur points out that he doesn’t really have any medical skills or training..  Then he looks at the comatose patient and discovers that it’s ….. HIMSELF!

This storyline had potential but it was done in by some seriously bad acting and the fact that the fantasy was comedic so the viewer knows from the start that Arthur is not going to accidentally kill himself on the operating table.

This was a rather dated trip to the Island.  The main theme seemed to be that Lawrence was thoroughly incompetent.

Scenes That I Love: Travis Bickle’s Paranoid Monologue from Taxi Driver

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Taxi Driver is nearly 50 years old but it’s still one of cinema’s most definitive portraits of urban paranoia and societal detachment.  Travis (played by Robert De Niro) obsesses on the city that he harshly judges even though he’s as much a part of New York as those who he wishes will be washed away.

This scene features Robert De Niro, Martin Scorsese, and Paul Schrader at their definite best.  I imagine that, for a lot of people, this is one of those scenes that solidified their opinions on New York City.  For the record, the last time I was in New York, everyone was fairly pleasant.  They weren’t exactly friendly but I also didn’t get my bag stolen.  (Those of us who don’t live in New York tend to assume that we’ll get mugged as soon as we leave JFK.)

I do worry about the future of New York, especially with the election that is being held today.  To say I’m not a fan of either of the two front runners would be an understatement but, at the same time, it’s not my place to tell people in New York City how to vote.  (I’m a big believer in not telling people in other cities and states how to vote.  Whenever anyone from up north asks me why Beto didn’t win in 2018, I tell them the truth.  A bunch of pro-Beto yankees came down here and got on everyone’s nerves right before they voted.)  Instead of telling people what to do, I’ll just say that I sincerely hope that whatever happens will work out as well as it possibly can.

(That’s another reason I don’t endorsements.  “Vote for the candidate who will work as well as he possibly can,” probably isn’t going to gets the cheers that some other slogans would.)

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.20 “Dead Man’s Riddle”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the CHiPs team investigates an accident and a guest star gives a really terrible performance.

Episode 4.20 “Dead Man’s Riddle”

(Dir by Michael Caffey, originally aired on May 10th, 1981)

An accident in the mountains causes three cars to explode and one driver to die.  Since the dead driver was a captain with the Los Angeles fire department, the MAIT Team is sent out to recreate the accident and to try to figure out what happened.  They know that at least three cars were involved in the accident.  One driver died.  One driver is in the hospital.  And the other driver appears to be missing.  Getraer suspects that the accident could be due to people racing each other in the mountains.

What makes this episode odd is the casting of Joanna Kerns as psychiatrist Colleen Jacobs.  She’s assigned to the MAIT Team.  She actually drives through the mountains frequently and she even gets involved in racing sometimes.  In fact, she saw one of the cars right before the accident!  At first, she doesn’t bother to share this with anyone.  Instead, she just sits in the background with a guilty look on her face.  Finally, Jon Baker — in an unmarked car — tricks her into trying to race him.  That’s when she finally confesses….

….and faces absolutely no consequences!  Oh sure, Getraer gets a little annoyed and says that it would have been helpful if Dr. Jacobs had been honest from the start.  But Dr. Jacobs is allowed to continue to work with the MAIT Team.  Even though she intentionally withheld evidence from investigators, she’s not charged with obstruction.  Ponch tells her that she’s getting a chance to redeem herself which I don’t think is police policy.  No one comments on the fact that, even though she was worried that she may have previously caused a fatal accident, she still tried to race Baker.  Does no one care that, at the very least, she appears to have no impulse control?

Making things even stranger is that Joanna Kerns gives one of the worst performances that I have ever seen as Dr. Jacobs, delivering half of her lines as if she’s struggling not to laugh.  Even when she’s admitting her fear that she may have been responsible for the accident, she still seems like she’s on the verge of breaking out into laughter.  It’s very odd.

Speaking of odd,  an eccentric old man named Max (Owen Brooks) claims that he saw a UFO before the crash.  (Dr. Jacobs laughs when she repeats this.)  It turns out that he just saw a hubcap flying through the air.

In the end, it’s proven that the captain was not at fault in the accident.  That’s all that anyone really seems to care about.  I assume that Dr. Jacbos and Baker then proceeded to race each back to Los Angeles.