Retro Television Review: Area 57

Posted on October 8, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! This Thursday, I will be reviewing Area 57, which was produced for NBC in 2007. The show can be found on YouTube!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Dean Parisot, filmed in 2007, never aired)

Col. Steven Isaac (Matthew Lillard) has been assigned to Area 57, a military base in the Nevada desert. Isaac is excited to read his orders and discover that Area 57 is home to an extraterrestrial. He arrives at the base. He meets by-the-book Lt. Irene Maloof (Jane Lynch). He meets the plain-spoken General Keller (Bruce McGill). He meets head scientist Dr. Annabelle Fermi (Kelly Hu). Finally, Isaac announces that he really wants to meet the alien.

Suddenly, Dr. Fermi emerges from her laboratory and says that the alien has died. General Keller announces that Area 57 is being shut down. All of the soldiers cheer. The general explains that the alien wasn’t always popular. Isaac still insists on seeing the body. With Dr. Fermi at his side, he gets his first look at the alien and accidentally spills his coffee on him. The alien (played by Paul Reubens) comes back to life. It turns out that he was just going through a sleep cycle. General Keller announces that Area 57 is not closing and no one is going home.

With the entire base still angry with him, Isaac still insists on meeting the alien. The alien asks him about his education. Isaac says that he attended college through an endowment. The alien says that many of the soldiers like Dr. Fermi. Isaac agrees that she’s attractive. The alien then announces to Irene that Isaac was making crude comments about Fermi and bragging about how endowed he was.

Isaac realizes the truth. The alien is a jerk. He also learns that the alien has been at Area 57 for 40 years and that, so far, the government has learned nothing from him.

That’s the plot of Area 57. NBC thought enough of the idea to commission a pilot, but the network never aired it. It’s available on YouTube. Watching it, you can see what the problem was. The alien is established as such a jerk that it’s hard to imagine anything else that could have been done with the character. Paul Reubens plays the role under a good deal of makeup, and he’s more off-putting than intriguing. That said, Matthew Lillard was genuinely funny as the earnest and idealistic Col. Isaac. He was so excited about meeting an alien that it was impossible not to feel sorry for him when the alien turned out to be a jerk.

If we ever do meet aliens, I have a feeling that something like Area 57 might be seen as prophetic. There’s a tendency to assume that alien visitors will be interesting, erudite, and worth knowing. I think that if there are aliens out there, they’re just as likely to be as annoying as the average human.

Area 57. The truth is out there!

Lisa Marie Takes A Look At The Amazing Race 39.3 “This Is Sick and Twisted”

Posted on October 8, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“To be continued….”

Really, Amazing Race? We’re ending on a cliffhanger!?

Well, kind of. Watching last night’s episode, it seemed pretty obvious to me that this was going to be the first non-elimination leg of the season. When you’ve got a roadblock, a detour, and then an extra task that are all as difficult as the ones last night, it typically means that the leg is going to turn out to be a non-elimination leg. The first roadblock, for instance, was pretty much dependent on luck. (Jody and Jenn had some bad luck, and Jenn spent two hours smashing vases and searching for the next clue.) The detour involved either learning a difficult language or rolling a giant tiger through the desert. And then the extra task was designed to upset and frustrate the players. This was a leg designed to generate drama as opposed to an elimination.

I would also point out that the fourth leg also appears to take place exclusively in Morocco. So my feeling is that whenever Dylan and Doug or Jody and Jenn reach the Pit Stop, Phil will say, “You are the last team to arrive. However, you are still racing, and here is your next clue!”

Here’s where the teams stood at the end of the episode.

Ann-Marie and Riley, both of whom strike me as being a bit fake, are currently in first place. They used their Express Pass to get out of doing the fruit stacking.

Anuar and Andrea are in second, mostly because they used their Express Pass to get out of doing the detour.

Ali and Joanna are in third place, and they still have their Express Pass. They’re doing well, but it’s hard for me to root for anyone who took a knee during the National Anthem.

Connor and Garrett are in fourth place and still have their Express Pass. After struggling last week, they came on strong this week.

Cody and Jaime are in fifth place. They seem to be getting stronger as the race goes on.

Michelle and Matt went from second to sixth place. They seem to be a good, middle-of-the-road sort of team.

Dafina and Saran are in seventh place. Dafina and Saran have achieved some good karma by helping out some of the other teams. They also received the Roadside Assistance Advantage, which means that both of them can work together on a roadblock if it is used. (Usually, only one player is allowed to do the roadblock.)

Erin and Javi are in eighth place. It looks like their earlier first-place finish was pretty much entirely due to using their Express Pass, because they’ve been struggling ever since.

Daisha and Dalton are in 9th place. They really need to have a good leg to break their cycle of finishing in the back.

Finally, Dylan and Doug and Jody and Jenn are competing for 10th and 11th place. Dylan and Doug did surprisingly well at the Detour, but then, when they had to stack the fruit, Dylan seemed to be letting his frustration get the better of him. As for Jody and Jenn, I’m sure they spent this leg regretting that they wasted their Express Pass in Madrid.

“The last team to arrive may be eliminated!” Phil said, but I don’t think that’s going to happen to either Dylan and Doug or Jody and Jenn, at least not at this Pit Stop. The fourth leg, though, will be a whole different story.

We’ll find out next week!

For the record, here are the three teams who still have Express Passes: Ali and Joanna, Connor and Garrett, and Michelle and Matt. They’ve only got two more legs left before they expire.

The Agony of Rob: Lisa Marie Takes A Look At Survivor 51

Posted on October 8, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Throughout the history of Survivor, there have been plenty of people who had to leave the show because they had a genuine medical emergency. They’ve either seriously injured themselves while competing, fallen victim to malnutrition, or developed an infection of some sort while living on the beach. It’s never enjoyable to see someone eliminated for that sort of reason, though we are all glad that the show has a medical team on hand to look after the players.

Then there are the players who pretend to be ill to get off the show so they won’t be voted out. The prime example of this was Colton, who Jeff Probst has always claimed faked having appendicitis to get out of One World. (Colton, for the record, swears that he actually had a severe bacterial infection that felt like appendicitis.) This week, we got the most blatant example yet of a player faking an injury when Rob announced that he had to quit the game because his foot hurt.

The medical team was brought in to look at his foot. We were given a close-up of his foot while it was being examined, and I can say that it did not appear to be injured in any way. There were no bruises. There was no swelling. As a former dancer, I know a little bit about ankle and toe injuries, and Rob… well, I don’t want to call him a liar. If he was in pain, it was probably due to stress. Considering that Brady competed in an immunity challenge after chopping off a piece of his thumb and Kristen has a broken foot, it was hard to have much sympathy for Rob’s declaration that his foot pain made it impossible for him to continue in the game.

Rob, who started out so gung-ho and so determined to run the game, left the Savu tribe at the beginning of this episode. Most of the Savu Tribe suspected that he left not because of his foot but because he was on the wrong side of the cote at Tribal and his bizarre mid-council conversation with Eric didn’t work out the way that he thought it would. Rob left his immunity idol to Carter, who started this episode at the bottom of the totem pole with his tribe. However, Carter then left the Savu tribe when he was given an opportunity to visit the Toka tribe, search for a hidden advantage at their camp, and join their tribe if he felt like it. Carter didn’t find the hidden advantage, largely because the Savu tribe went through his bag and found the information about the hidden advantage while Carter was having a one-on-one conversation with Mike. Brady and Maggie were the ones who found the advantage, which turned out to be an extra vote at tribal. Carter, however, still decided to mutiny and join the Toka tribe.

Meanwhile, Devin volunteered to visit the Savu tribe. Devin did not mutiny because he felt that their shelter was not up to his standards. He did reconnect with Sharonda and Ori, with whom he made an alliance during the initial helicopter ride to the island. With Sharonda’s help, Devin found the hidden advantage. He also told everyone at the Savu tribe that Kilby could not be trusted.

Toka entered the immunity challenge with 11 members. Savu only had seven, but Savu still managed to win not just immunity but also four hens. The main reason Toka lost was because Savu had to sit out four people and Devin took it upon himself to tell Kilby that he wasn’t allowed to play, despite the fact that Kilby solves puzzles for a living.

At tribal, Devin, Brady, Patt, Jelly, and Mike were all determined to vote out Kilby. Devin felt he couldn’t trust Kilby. Brady was mad because he felt Kilby had insinuated that he was stupid. Kilby, however, was able to convince his allies — Jenna, Maggie, and Thien Ann — to join him in voting for Patt. Lewis and Carter, the two new members of the tribe, decided to join with Kilby, and Patt was voted out by a vote of 6-5.

I actually liked Patt. She reminded me of my best friend. But Brady and Devin have both been so smug that it was nice seeing them get blindsided. Devin, in particular, needs to get a grip and stop being so cocky. Brady can be a jerk, but he’s important to have around if you want to win challenges. I’m not sure what Devin really brings to the tribe beyond his own attitude.

For those keeping track of advantages: Carter has an immunity idol. Jelly has an immunity idol. Maggie has an extra vote. Devin has an extra vote. And there’s still an immunity idol sitting on Exile Island.

Next week — could it already be time for a merge? Or are they reshuffling the tribes? We’ll find out!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.6 “Clean and Sober”

Posted on October 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, Billy Cooper gets in trouble.

Episode 5.6 “Clean and Sober”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 15th, 1989)

This week’s episode features three storylines.

The simplest of the storylines features Denardo’s ex-wife (Arlene Golonka) showing up at his house and saying that she’s hiding from a stalker. She even changes Denardo’s phone number. It turns out that her stalker is actually her current husband and they’re just having a minor argument. They’re reunited while Denardo stands in the background and smiles.

The comedic storyline features an ex-player named Wes (Bob Chandler) asking Dr. Death and Jethro to serve as his bodyguards for a week. Wes, who left football and got the lead role on a cop show, says that he’s going to have to testify against a mob boss. Dr. Death and Jethro agree to keep an eye on him. For instance, they bring him to practice. They also freak out when someone tosses an unlit stick of dynamite at them. Eventually, it turns out that Wes set them up to be the victims on a television prank show. This storyline also featured Zagred begging Wes to put him on his show. Even TD Parker (OJ Simpson) got in on the spirit, asking Wes if he could help him pitch a television show about a football manager who solves murders. Uhmm, yeah, that sounds like a great idea, OJ….

The dramatic storyline features Billy getting into an accident while driving drunk. His companion for the night is nearly killed. Billy is sentenced to 90 days of alcohol rehab. The member of the Bulls are not supportive of Billy’s attempt to get sober. Johnny Gunn resents that he spent six years in prison for something that he did while drunk but Billy is apparently going to get away with just a slap on the wrist. Billy stops drinking and starts popping pills.

TD is upset to see that Billy is not making a real effort to get sober. When TD hears an commentator refer to Billy as being a “true professional,” TD replies, “Not in my book.”

Really, OJ?

This episode was all over the place, as is usually the case with 1st & Ten. I actually found the storyline about Wes to be amusing but it didn’t feel like it belonged on an episode where Billy was trying and failing to get sober. That said, this episode’s portrayal of Billy as being too rich and too famous to be held responsible for his mistakes was probably pretty close to the truth when it comes to celebrity addicts. Billy may hate himself but he’s got enough cash to soothe the pain.

Horror On TV: Fear Itself 1.7 “Community” (dir by Mary Harron)

Posted on October 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In tonight’s episode of Fear Itself, Bobby (Brandon Routh) and Tracy (Shiri Appleby) are a young couple who move to a gated community and learn that there are consequences to upsetting the HOA. The story is familiar but Mary Harron does a good job of combining satire with chills. Watching how Bobby and Tracy are pressured to conform to the rules of the community, it was hard not to be reminded of the excesses of the COVID era.

(Of course, the truly interesting thing about the COVID era was seeing how many self-styled nonconformists revealed their true selves once they were actually put in a position where taking a stand could have had consequences. They know who they are.)

This episode originally aired on July 24th, 2008. Mary Harron, of course, is best known for directing American Psycho.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.15 “Santa, Santa, Santa/Another Dog Gone Christmas/Noel’s Christmas Carol”

Posted on October 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Merry Christmas!

Episode 8.15 “Santa, Santa, Santa/Another Dog Gone Christmas/Noel’s Christmas Carol”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 15th, 1984)

It’s time for the Christmas voyage!

Assigned to hire a Santa Claus for the trip, Judy McCoy has finally managed to find one in the surprisingly thin form of Max Phelps (Ray Waltson). Uh-oh! Apparently, Gopher didn’t get the memo and he hired a Santa Claus of his own, Patrick Turney (Avery Schreiber). Well, this is awkward but surely …. wait a minute, who is that with Isaac? Isaac also hired a Santa Claus, in this case Shakespearean actor Malcolm (Scatman Crothers)!

How did this happen and I mean that sincerely. I guess I can understand Gopher having the power to hire a Santa Claus because he is the ship’s pursuer. But why is Isaac hiring people? How does the Captain not know who is and who isn’t being hired for his ship? And why didn’t either Gopher or Isaac tell Judy that they hired a Santa Claus?

These are legitimate questions but they really don’t matter. The three Santa Clauses are all wonderful in their roles and watching them try to outdo each other is actually pretty entertaining. This is a storyline that worked better than it had any right to, largely because there wasn’t a hint of cynicism to be found on The Love Boat. Most modern sitcoms would have made the Santa Clauses angry or bitter. But, on The Love Boat, three Santas are always better than one!

As for the other stories, Carol Kelsey (Kim Lankford) lies to her mother (Anne Francis) and tells her that Ace is her fiancé. Carol is just trying to get her mother off of her back. But when Carol falls for Ace’s friend, Noel Kane (Shea Farrell), Carol’s mother fears that her daughter is cheating on Ace. No worries! What can go wrong when you fall in love with someone named Noel on Christmas? Again, this is another episode that worked specifically because of The Love Boat’s utter and complete earnestness. It was goofy and it was perfect for a Christmas voyage.

Finally, Vicki is sailing with her dog, Tundra (played by the adorable Tundra The Wonder Dog). Because Vicki’s aunt and uncle can no longer look after Tundra and a boat is no place for a dog to live, she gives Tundra to a down-on-his luck stand-up comedian (Howard Morris). This was such a sweet story that it brought tears to my eyes. Tundra was adorable and he brought a lot of cheer to the entire boat.

Wow, Christmas in October! Happy holidays everyone!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.22 “The Right Thing”

Posted on October 6, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the fourth season comes to a close.

Episode 4.22 “The Right Thing”

(Dir by John B. Moranville, originally aired on April 25th, 1999)

Businessman John Patrone (Fred Saldone) has negotiated a peace treaty between two gangs, one black and one Latino. Finally, there will be peace in Santa Monica! However, at a rally to celebrate the treaty, a sniper shoots Patrone dead. At first, I was amazed that the police didn’t have anyone on those rooftops to prevent something like this from happening. Then I realized that security for the rally was being provided solely by Pacific Blue. Of course, the bicycle cops would screw this up.

Despite the fact that John Patrone was a major figure in Santa Monica, we never see any Homicide detectives working the case. Instead, it somehow falls to the bicycle cops to investigate. What they discover is that, despite his altruistic image, Patrone was actually a monster who sold weapons and drugs to the gangs and who raped and impregnated the daughter of Bruce Best (Kevin McClatchey). Bruce’s daughter killed herself and that’s why Bruce assassinated Patrone.

Bruce doesn’t make any effort to disguise the fact that he killed Patrone. He admits it to Bobby, Granger, Jamie, and Monica. However, the four rookie cops are convinced that Patrone deserved to die and that Bruce did “the right thing” by shooting him. In a move that is totally out-of-character for him, Bobby decides to throw all of the evidence implicating Bruce into harbor. Unfortunately, Bobby is being watched by Susan Jessup (Holly Gagnier) of Internal Affairs. Susan goes to TC and offers to let Bobby off the hook in exchange for sex. (As ludicrous a character as Susan may be, Holly Gagnier’s wonderfully unhinged performance was the highlight of the episode.) TC replies that he will arrest Bobby and Bruce personally. This episode ends with a cliffhanger as all four of our rookies pose for their mugshots.

Meanwhile, Chris and Cory deal with a teenager who wants to shoot himself out of a cannon. It’s a bit odd that the bike patrol’s two most experienced cops aren’t working the Patrone murder but whatever. I’ve given up on trying to follow Pacific Blue logic.

We’ll find out the fates of Bobby, Jamie, Granger, and Monica next week, when we start the final season of Pacific Blue. I really can’t wait for all this to be over with!

Horror On TV: Fear Itself 1.6 “New Year’s Day” (dir by Darren Lynn Bousman)

Posted on October 6, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode of Fear Itself is a macabre zombie story that takes place on New Year’s Day and which features a twist ending! Watch this one with the lights off.

The episode originally aired on July 17th, 2008. Director Darren Lynn Bousman is best-known for his Saw films. Personally, I’m a fan of his 2010 thriller, Mother’s Day.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.21 “Feuding Friends”

Posted on October 6, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.

We’re back at the ski lodge!

Episode 2.21 “Feuding Friends”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 26th, 1994)

At the ski lodge, Mr. Belding’s sprained ankle appears to have healed. However, Tommy still has a broken leg and it’s strange to me that he’s still even at the ski lodge. I mean, this is a school trip and a broken leg is not a minor injury. It seems like most school trips would be abruptly cancelled if a student got drunk and suffered a serious injury as a result. Has anyone called Tommy’s parents?

While everyone else is enjoying the slopes, Megan stays behind and keeps Tommy company. Soon, Megan and Tommy realize that they like each other and they decide to have dinner together. Lindsay freaks out. How dare Megan date her ex-boyfriend!? Bobby gets mad too. How dare Tommy go out with the girl that Bobby likes!? At first, Rachel is neutral but then Lindsay suggests that Megan would date Brian if he ever broke up with Rachel. Rachel gets mad at Megan for something she hasn’t done yet. Brian tries to remain neutral (“I’m swiss,” he says) and Rachel calls him a wimp.

Meanwhile, a snooty fashion photographer sees Screech on the slope and takes a lot of pictures of him. How will Screech take it when he discovers that the photographer is planning to use him as an example of how not to look?

This episode …. actually, I enjoyed this episode. Yes, the whole thing with the photographer and Screech was pretty stupid. But, when it came to everyone getting mad at each other, I could actually relate to that. When Rachel got mad over something that hadn’t happened but which could happen, I felt very seen. In its undeniably Saved By The Bell way, this episode captured the dynamic of what often happens with people who have been friends forever. You fight over stupid stuff but, in the end, you always make up.

This was a good episode. I’m as shocked as anyone.

That said, I’ll be even more shocked if the Tommy/Megan romance is ever mentioned again. Saved By The Bell always has a way of creating couples and then forgetting about them one episode later.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 6.11 “Day of the Robot”

Posted on October 5, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch is busy. The rest of the Highway Patrol is impressed.

Episode 6.11 “Day of the Robot”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on January 2nd, 1983)

Years ago, Emily’s younger brother was killed by a reckless driver. Now, Emily (Melody Anderson) is the leader of a group of young women who drive their motorcycles up and down the highway and keep an eye out for people who run stop signs and make unsafe lane changes. They issue their own tickets. They attempt to make citizen’s arrests. They always call the Highway Patrol before going off in pursuit but Ponch, Getraer, and even Bobby still think that they’re putting their own lives at danger. When two stereo thieves decide to get revenge on Emily for a ticket, can Ponch save the day?

Meanwhile, a robot named MERV has been loaned to the Highway Patrol to help with filing and other tasks. When it turns out that MERV has a short in its system that’s turned it into a “ticking time bomb,” can Ponch figure out how shut it down so it can be repaired before it accidentally blows up the children’s wing of the hospital?

Of course, he can. Ponch can do anything!

This episode was a good example of how, during the show’s final season, everyone at the Highway Patrol was pretty much useless except for Ponch. Ponch is the one who knows exactly what to say to Emily. Ponch is the one who saves a bunch of sick kids from a potentially explosive situation. Ponch is practically the only member of the Highway Patrol who couldn’t easily be replaced by a robot.

One gets the feeling that the show’s producers were getting a little desperate during season 6. Not only have we had a UFO and a tragic death but this season has also given us a robot. Remember how the early seasons mostly just tried to be a realistic portrait of the day-to-day activities of the Highway Patrol?

Those days are over. The episode reminds us that CHiPs is now….