Retro Television Review: Baywatch 3.3 “Tequila Bay”

Posted on October 24, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, two new regulars join the cast.

Episode 3.3 “Tequila Bay”

(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on September 27th, 1992)

Despite not having graduated from lifeguard school yet, Brody is given an undercover assignment by Mitch. Someone has been attacking surfers who try to surf the waters off Tequila Bay, and Brody is sent in to find out who is responsible.

Gee, who could it be? How about that gang of angry-looking teenagers standing on the rocks and glaring as Matt and another surfer, Jimmy Slade (Kelly Slater), greet each other in the water? It is pretty easy to see that the gang is trying to keep other surfers off “their” beach. What I find strange is that the gang consists of about seven people, but only two of them are carrying surfboards. What are the other five getting out of this?

As for Jimmy Slade, he is a philosophical surfer who thinks the water belongs to everyone. He lives in a van. He does not have a phone, but he does have a board, and his life is all about the waves. When he sees Brody paddling in the ocean, he greets him not as a potential rival but as a fellow surfer. And when the evil surf gang tries to run Brody and Slade off, Slade throws a few hard punches of his own.

Jimmy Slade is played by Kelly Slater, a professional surfer who joined Baywatch for its third season. In the Summerfest special, Slater said he joined the cast because he wanted to introduce surfing to the world. I have read a more recent interview in which he says he joined at the urging of his agent and regretted it almost immediately. Not only did fellow surfers give him a hard time about selling out, but Slater also read a script for an episode that featured a surfboard-stealing octopus.

And indeed, Slater gives a performance in this episode that suggests he had already figured out acting was not for him. He delivers his lines stiffly and without much personality. Slater himself abandoned acting after his time on Baywatch. He is a far better surfer than an actor.

Slade does agree to teach Summer how to surf, though the Tequila Bay gang again tries to ruin things by putting barbed wire in the ocean. Slade ends up with a few bad cuts, but it looks as if he will also get a girlfriend. As for the gang, they are arrested by Garner and Mitch.

Meanwhile, the new lieutenant shows up at Baywatch to replace the promoted Captain Thorpe. Mitch is stunned when his new boss turns out to be Stephanie Holden (Alexandra Paul), a woman with whom he once had a torrid affair. She broke his heart when she failed to meet him at Catalina. How badly did she hurt Mitch? Badly enough that he tells Ben he feels like Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. Wow, Mitch. Overdramatic much?

Overdramatic is the word for David Hasselhoff in this episode. If the first two seasons featured Hasselhoff as an easygoing beach bum, this one features him as an angry, emotionally wounded ex-lover. Unfortunately, Hasselhoff is at his least convincing when he is playing anger. He comes across as petulant. Alexandra Paul may not play Stephanie with much depth, at least not in her first episode, but you still feel sorry for her, because Mitch is being such a jerk.

However, when Stephanie and Mitch work together on the beach to save a drowning man, Mitch realizes that Stephanie is good at her job. He has been asked to write a letter to Captain Thorpe about whether Stephanie should be assigned to Baywatch. Mitch writes that she should definitely be his boss. Could this mean love for Mitch? Let’s hope so!

This episode was way too overdramatic to be taken seriously. The Tequila Bay gang was made up of some of the least intimidating baddies ever to show up on Baywatch. Seriously: the ocean is for everyone.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 3.0 “Summerfest Special”

Posted on October 10, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the third of Baywatch begins with a special!

Episode 3.0: “Summerfest Special”

(Originally aired September 13, 1992)

“Hi, I’m David Hasselhoff, here to welcome you to the Summerfest special.”

The third season of Baywatch starts not with a story about Mitch Buchannon and his fellow lifeguards, but with a breezy special about the California lifestyle and what viewers can expect from the upcoming season. David Hasselhoff stands on the beach in his Baywatch uniform and earnestly talks about how important lifeguards are and how the show is all about celebrating their heroism.

“Life’s a beach,” Hasselhoff says, “and everyone’s life is at the beach.”

“We’ll be back with the latest in barely legal swimwear!” announcer Sean “Hollywood” Hamilton says as the special goes to commercial. Yes, that is the actual line.

In between shots of beachgoers in bikinis, the Summerfest Special features interviews with the cast members joining Baywatch in season 3. Susan Anton talks about being dramatically taller than her on-screen daughter, Nicole Eggert. David Charvet is introduced as “Baywatch’s newest bad boy.” Alexandra Paul says that maybe her character and Mitch will hook up, then laughs. Kelly Slater says that he’s not really an actor, but he joined the cast to show the world what “surfing is all about.” Pamela Anderson says that she’s looking forward to playing a “metaphysical character” because she’s very metaphysical herself. Gregory Alan Williams, who is being promoted to regular status in season 3, talks about saving a bystander during a riot because “I don’t like mobs.”

In between even more shots of beachgoers in bikinis, Hasselhoff talks about his music career and says that Baywatch is a show the entire family can watch. He adds, “Skimpy apparel is a part of the appeal.” This is followed by a montage of women in bikinis.

The Summerfest Special isn’t streaming on Tubi or Prime, but it is available on YouTube. The version I watched included all of the commercials that aired with the show. There weren’t any pharma commercials, which I appreciated. In America, we don’t really realize how bombarded we are with commercials for medicine with potentially deadly side effects until we get a chance to watch a complete broadcast from a time when no one in their right mind would think of advertising prescription medication on television.

Instead, I got a lot of commercials for local businesses and special musical compilation albums. There was a commercial for a Dodge dealership that bragged about how their vehicles came with airbags. In the middle of a commercial for a gospel album, a preacher said, “Who the hell left the gate open?” and everyone in the church cheered. A woman quit her job with confidence because of her Secret deodorant. “I’ll borrow my mother’s scarf,” a young woman who reminded me of myself declared, “but my mother’s tampons? No way!” A bunch of teen soccer players announced they’d rather drink “Sunny D” than “soda” or “purple stuff.” I’m from the South, so it always sounds weird to hear people refer to Coke as soda. It’s even weirder to see people preferring an orange drink to it.

If I seem to be spending a lot of time on the commercials, that’s because they felt like little mini time machines. Watching them was like taking a 30-second trip back to the early ’90s. As for the rest of the special, it was essentially a lengthy commercial for Baywatch and bikinis, but everyone interviewed seemed to be in a really good mood. They were having fun, and that’s the important thing.

So, I Watched Perry Mason: The Case of the All-Star Assassin (1989, Dir. by Christian I. Nyby II)

Posted on January 12, 2026 by Dazzling Erin

Ken (William R, Moses), who is now a lawyer, is representing a hockey player (Jason Beghe) in his contract negotiation with a tyrannical team owner (Pernell Roberts). When the owner is murdered, the player is arrested and Ken turns to his mentor, Perry Mason (Raymond Burr), for help in winning his first murder case.

This was pretty forgettable. The mystery wasn’t interesting, there weren’t enough suspects to keep me guessing, and even the wrongly accused player was unlikable. Amy (Alexandra Paul) returned to help out Ken and was annoying as ever. I don’t understand the Amy/Ken relationship. They’re in love. They’re getting married. But they always act like they hate each other. Give me sex addict Paul Drake, Jr, any day! I read that this was Amy’s final appearance in the series and I hope that’s true.

This movie also features some of the worst courtroom dialogue of the series. Poor Bruce Greenwood plays Pernell Roberts’s son and gets stuck with the worst lines. Deidre Hall plays Pernell Roberts’s unfaithful wife, which is appropriate because this movie was just a bad soap opera.

I Watched Perry Mason: The Case of the Musical Murder (1989, Dir. by Christian I. Nyby II)

Posted on January 11, 2026 by Dazzling Erin

Terry Franken (Dwight Schultz), the arrogant director of a new musical that is playing out of town tryouts on the way to Broadway, is shot and killed at the theater. Recently fired stage manager Johnny Whitcomb (Jim Metzler) is arrested for the crime but Perry knows that Johnny is innocent. At the same time that Terry was getting murdered, Perry was in a hospital room recovering from knee surgery. He looked out the hospital window and saw Johnny across the street. Despite Perry providing an alibi, Johnny is still charged with murdering Terry. Broadway legend Amanda Cody (Debbie Reynolds) asks Perry to take Johnny’s case.

This Perry Mason movie featured Perry on the stand, testifying to having seen Johnny. The District Attorney (Valerie Mahaffey) tried to humiliate Perry by suggesting that he was on too many pain killers to be sure what he saw. Never try to humiliate Perry Mason! He’ll not only beat you in court but also make you look like a fool by getting the real murderer to confess while on the stand.

The key to proving Johnny’s innocence was finding the security guard (Rick Aiello) who worked at the theater the night that Terry was killed. Ken (William R. Moses) and his annoying girlfriend Amy (Alexandra Paul) handled that part of the case. Ken is still no Paul Drake, Jr. and his bickering with Amy is like nails on a chalkboard.

I actually remember watching this movie with my aunt when it came on Hallmark one weekend. My aunt enjoyed it. She liked Debbie Reynolds. This one was better than the previous movie. Along with Debbie Reynolds, the cast includes Jerry Orbach and Lori Petty. Dwight Schultz was great as the victim. I still miss William Katt and David Ogden Stiers, though. Perry doesn’t have the same connection to Ken that he had to Paul. David Ogden Stiers was great because, even though he always lost the case, he still seemed like he was a good enough lawyer that he could have won if things had gone differently. These new district attorneys never even have a chance against Perry.

So, I Watched Perry Mason: The Case of the Lethal Lesson (1989, Dir. by Christian I. Nyby II)

Posted on January 10, 2026 by Dazzling Erin

Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) has spent a semester teaching moot court at a law school. When one of his students, Frank Wellman Jr. (John Allen Nelson), is murdered, the accused is another student named Ken Malansky (William R. Moses). Despite being a close friend of the victim’s father (Brian Keith), Perry thinks that Ken is innocent and agrees to defend him. Ken’s ex-girlfriend, Amy Hastings (Alexandra Paul), pays Ken’s bail and helps him and Perry investigate the crime, even though Ken spends the whole movie talking about how “crazy” she is.

No William Katt. No David Ogden Stiers. Barbara Hale’s barely in it. The Case of the Lethal Lesson was the start of a new era in the Mason movies and I didn’t like it. Ken and Amy are Perry’s new assistants but I didn’t like either one of them. Amy was stalkerish but Ken still cried too much about her being the one who paid his bail. Did Ken just want to stay in jail? Ken just wasn’t very likable and it bothered me that the movie never explained why Paul wasn’t available to help. Both Paul and William Katt deserved better. Meanwhile, the new prosecutor (Marlene Warfield) didn’t have the same friendly rivalry that her predecessor did. The mystery element was okay until some cartoonish gangsters showed up. I didn’t buy any of it.

Give it up for my sister, though. A few minutes into the movie, Lisa said, “I bet that’s the murderer,” and she was right! If Perry Mason had her helping him instead of Ken and Amy, he could have solved this case a lot quicker.

Brad reviews CHRISTMAS CRASH (2009), starring Michael Madsen and Alexandra Paul!

Posted on December 14, 2025 by Bradley Crain

As I scrolled through the “Recommended” movies on Tubi last night, I came across this one movie, CHRISTMAS CRASH, that intrigued me. It sounded sort of like a Hallmark movie, but it starred Michael Madsen, an actor I couldn’t possibly imagine in a Hallmark movie. Check out this description on Tubi…

“An unhappily married couple is presumed dead after their private plane crashes in the woods, but reconnects as their survival offers a second chance.”

All bad grammar aside, it was very late at night and I was looking for something that required zero functioning brain cells, and this seemed to fit the bill. Also, I had recently watched Madsen in the theatrical release of KILL BILL: THE WHOLE BLOODY AFFAIR, where he was so good, so I thought I’d check out his performance as the husband reconnecting with his wife, played here by Alexandra Paul (BAYWATCH).

After watching CHRISTMAS CRASH, all I can say is that I still can’t imagine Michael Madsen in anything that resembles a Hallmark movie. To say that he was “miscast as the beleaguered husband attempting to reconnect with his wife while attempting to survive the trek back to civilization after the plane crash” just may be my understatement of the year. There was nothing about his performance that seemed remotely realistic from the very beginning to the very end. Still, his uncomfortable line delivery, whether it be in a tense board meeting, out in the middle of the woods, or at a Christmas party at the end of the movie, is my favorite part of the movie. It was oddly enjoyable in a way that I can’t quite explain. Alexandra Paul does come off a little better as she proves to have some determined survival instincts, but this will not be on anyone’s list of career highlights.

CHRISTMAS CRASH has some pretty Canadian scenery as the married couple fly their plane over some beautiful mountains before crash landing in a beautiful, frigid lake. Luckily for them though, they’re able to swim to the shore, start a small, but obviously very warm, fire and somehow not succumb to hypothermia. And the weather, at least based on the news reports their terrified daughters are seeing on TV, is so terrible that search and rescue efforts have to be suspended. The problem is we never see any of this bad weather. What we’re shown looks fine! I laughed out loud when I saw that weather report coupled with beautiful sunshine! I will admit that I was worried about the big gash on Madsen’s lower leg after the accident, especially since it looked so dirty. But after the initial application of a homemade tourniquet, it wasn’t really mentioned any further. After about thirty minutes of screen time with no grody scenes of leg re-dressing, I quit worrying about it. And then there are the wolves that attempt to make a snack of our couple. I’ve seen THE GREY with Liam Neeson and I’ve been to Yellowstone, so I know that wolves are very dangerous. Let’s just say that the wolves of CHRISTMAS CRASH are too easily fended off with a medium-sized stick to ever feel too dangerous. There was this one moment where it appeared a wolf might have been biting on Madsen’s injured character for a moment, but after they run off, it’s never mentioned or shown that he was injured in any way, so I guess that wolf didn’t have any teeth.

My initial thoughts on at least a superficial connection between CHRISTMAS CRASH and the Hallmark channel did prove perceptive, as the movie is directed by Terry Ingram. A quick review of Mr. Ingram’s directorial credits on IMDB reveal an extensive connection to Hallmark, with generic titles such as HATS OFF TO CHRISTMAS, ‘TIS THE SEASON FOR LOVE, and THE MISTLETOE SECRET. Despite the director’s apparent love of the season and the fact this movie is titled CHRISTMAS CRASH, it sure doesn’t feel very Christmassy. With extremely limited changes, this movie could be set in any season, so don’t expect any feelings of genuine Yuletide spirit.

Overall, I’d say the best thing about CHRISTMAS CRASH is that it’s a 90 minute movie that has potential value in a “so bad it’s funny” kind of way. I think it would be fun to watch with friends, or as a “Live Movie Tweet” on social media. I watched the whole movie, had a few unintentional laughs, and when it was over around 1:00 in the morning, I went to bed none the worse for the wear.

The Eric Roberts Collection: Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (dir by Jon Cassar)

Posted on April 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s disaster time!

In 2001’s Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534, a plane is making its way across the country. The pilot is the arrogant Jack Brooks (Kevin Jubinville), who is convinced that all a pilot has to do is let the instruments and the plane’s computer run the flight. He has total faith in technology. His first officer is Mike Hogan (Eric Roberts), a veteran pilot whose career went downhill after he was unfairly blamed for a crash in Boston. Mike is old school. He doesn’t have much use for all this technology nonsense. Mike thinks that a pilot has to listen to his own instincts and be willing to improvise. That sounds dangerous! It’s a good thing that Jack’s in charge of this plane!

Unfortunately, turbulence and a concussion temporarily puts Jack out of commission. Mike is going to have to conquer his own fears and insecurities to land this plane. Fortunately, he has the support of the head flight attendant, Katy Phillips (Alexandra Paul). Also, one of the passengers has some flight experience! Grant Blyth (Dean McDermott) is willing to help out. Of course, Grant is also a convicted murderer who was being flown to prison but whatever. I just find it interesting that, in the movies, convicted murderers and their handlers are always put on commercial flight. That seems kind of irresponsible to me.

Rough Air is a throwback to the old disaster movies of the 70s. The airplane is full of people who have to set aside their differences to work together and try to avoid a disaster. There’s a soccer star (Mark Lutz) and an engineer (Russell Yuen) and a rich guy (Carlo Rota) who only exists that he can be told to shut up whenever he doubts Mike. Unfortunately, this film isn’t quite as fun as any of those old disaster movies. There’s one funny moments where Jack wakes up and deliriously demands to be allowed to fly the plane but otherwise, this is a pretty boring flight. Not even Eric Roberts giving a typically committed performance can save this flight from being forgettable.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.19 “The Eighth Seal”

Posted on November 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Mitch gets possessed!

Episode 2.19 “The Eighth Seal”

(Dir by Jon Cassar, originally aired on April 26th, 1997)

Twice, Mitch saves a young girl named Jenny (Esme Ganz) from jumping off a bridge. When Mitch discovers the Jenny’s adoptive parents don’t seem to care whether she lives or dies, he brings her back to his house and lets her stay the night while he tries to figure out what to do about her.

What Mitch doesn’t know is that Jenny is possessed by a demon named Teddy. When Mitch does discover that Jenny is housing a denizen of the damned, he does the worst possible thing that one can do in that situation. He pulls a Karras and allows the demon to enter him. Now, Mitch is possessed. Can Daimont and Ryan get the demon out of Mitch or will Mitch have to run in front of truck in order to knock Teddy out of him?

Believe it or not, Mitch does the latter. He runs in front of a truck! The truck hits him and sends Mitch falling backwards. Mitch is out cold. While Ryan and Daimont try to revive him, Mitch’s spirit is visited by Stephanie Holden (Alexandra Paul). Though this was Stephanie’s first (and only) appearance on Baywatch Nights, she was a prominent member of the Baywatch ensemble for several seasons. Her character, who was always implied to have feelings for Mitch, was eventually killed off. Stephanie’s spirit appears and yes, she is wearing the red Baywatch swimsuit. And while it’s actually a pretty sweet scene as Stephanie tells Mitch that it’s not his time to die, it’s hard not to smile at the fact that Stephanie is apparently still a lifeguard in the afterlife. It’s like she went to Heaven and said, “Give me the reddest and tightest one-piece that you have.”

Things end happily. Mitch is no longer possessed. Jenny is no longer possessed. Jenny’s adoptive parents are consumed in Hellfire but that’s okay because they sucked. And, for once, the viewer is happy as well because this is actually a pretty good episode of Baywatch Nights. Seriously, you have not lived until you’ve seen David Hasselhoff pretend to be possessed by a demon. Beyond that, though, his reunion with Stephanie was actually pretty poignant, red swimsuit and all. If nothing else, it gave Mitch a chance to say goodbye to Stephanie, which was something he never really got to do in Baywatch.

Speaking of Baywatch, do you think Mitch went to his day job and told all the lifeguards, “Hey, you won’t believe what happened to me this weekend!” Probably not. I don’t know if I’d want to work with someone who had a history of getting possessed by demons. That may just be me, though.

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 4.2 “Minuteman” (dir by Chris Thomson)

Posted on October 2, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

For tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, our narrator (played by Page Fletcher) takes a look at Jeremy (John Shea) and Julie (Alexandra Paul).

Jeremy and Julie are a couple who are taking a road trip and whose relationship is strained due to Jeremy’s obsession with organization and control. However, when Jeremy and Julie meet two people that Jeremy can’t control — a biker (Dean Hallo) and his pregnant girlfriend (Nancy Isaak) — Jeremy finds himself taking a trip through time and learning a lesson about letting go.

This episode features good performances from John Shea, Alexandra Paul, Dean Hallo, and Nancy Isaak and it also features the Hitchhiker offering up some memorably judgmental commentary. The Hitchhiker is apparently not a fan of control freaks. I’m not really a fan of control freaks either but there’s nothing wrong with having a to-do list to help guide you through your day.

This episode originally aired on February 24th, 1987.

What Lisa Watched Tonight #215: Baywatch The Movie: Forbidden Paradise (dir by Douglas Schwartz)

Posted on May 19, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier tonight, I watched the 1995 film Baywatch The Movie: Forbidden Paradise.

Why Was I Watching It?

The H&I network has been airing Baywatch every weekday at 5 and 6. I’ve been watching because the pure, unapologetic silliness of the show is a good way to unwind from whatever stress or annoyance I may have had to deal with during the day. Today, they aired Forbidden Paradise, which was originally released theatrically in Europe and straight-to-video in the United States. (To quote John Redcorn, “We are already straight-to-video. There is nowhere else left to go.”) A few months after its theatrical release, Forbidden Paradise was broadcast as a two-part episode of Baywatch, even though it featured characters who had since left the show. I imagine that was a bit confusing for some viewers.

(Or maybe it wasn’t. I doubt the majority Baywatch’s audience was particularly concerned with continuity.)

What Was It About?

The Baywatch team goes to Hawaii! Well, not all of them. Actually, it’s just Mitch (David Hasselhoff), CJ (Pamela Anderson), Stephanie (Alexandra Paul), Caroline (Yasmine Bleeth), Logan (Jaason Simmons), and Matt (David Charvet). They’re supposed to be taking part in a lifeguard exchange program but, as usual, it turns out that Stephanie is the only one who actually gives a damn about doing her job.

Instead, CJ considered whether or not she wants to model for a dorky photographer. Logan becomes obsessed with winning a surfing competition while Caroline obsesses on why Logan is always obsessing on stuff. Mitch and Matt end up getting lost in the jungle and briefly taken prisoner by a bunch of native villagers. It all leads to a chase through the jungle and an engagement on the beach. Stephanie helps that Hawaiian lifeguards save someone from drowning. At least Stephanie takes her job seriously.

What Worked?

Baywatch The Movie: Forbidden Paradise was actually filmed on location in Hawaii so the scenery was gorgeous. It was also apparently shot in approximately the same location as Lost so, whenever I got bored with the plot, I could think about Sawyer and the Others. This was especially true while David Hasselhoff and David Charvet were being chased through the jungle by all of the angry villagers. I felt like the Smoke Monster was going to pop out at any moment.

As with anything involving Baywatch, it could be argued that the whole film was so ludicrous that it worked as a self-parody. I’m certainly tempted to make that argument but I’m not really sure if any of the self-parody was intentional. That’s the great mystery when it comes to Baywatch.

What Did Not Work?

If you consider this movie to be a self-aware parody, than it all worked.

If you consider it to be an actual movie, with a plot and characters that you’re supposed to care about and interesting dialogue, than none of it worked. I mean, it’s Baywatch. It’s the adult version of Saved By The Bell. It’s entertainingly shallow but it’s never exactly good.

Probably the film’s biggest flaw is that the pacing is totally off. It seems to take forever for the film’s plot to actually get started and then, once it does, it keeps going off on these strange detours. For some reason, a lot of screen time is devoted to a model named Holly (Hedi Mark) and a remarkably unlucky photographer named Carlton Edwards (Ricky Dean Logan).

Myself, I was disappointed that David Chokachi (who played Cody, the lifeguard best-known for wearing a speedo in the opening credits) wasn’t even in the film.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I’ve been to Hawaii! Seriously, I had a great time and I look forward to returning soon.

Lessons Learned

I refuse to learn anything from Baywatch.