Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!
This week, the liberal media comes after Sledge Hammer!
Episode 1.2 “Hammer Gets Nailed”
(Dir by Charles Braverman, originally aired on September 26th, 1986)
“HAMMER!” shouts Lt. Trunk as the episode begins.
Trunk is concerned because nosy news reporter Phil Gumm (Ronnie Schell) wants to do a ride along with Sledge Hammer. The Mayor is thinking about laying off a large percentage of the force. (I guess he’s not that grateful to the police for finding his daughter.) If Hammer screws up on camera, that’ll give the Mayor the excuse that he needs. Doreau is assigned to keep Hammer out of trouble.
So, of course, Hammer screws everything up. After forcing a convenience store thief to eat all of the store’s expired food, Hammer gets into a high-speed chase and crashes his car. Phil Gumm ends up with broken arms and a bad attitude. The Mayor promptly starts laying people off …. including Sledge Hammer!
Hammer gets a job as a crossing guard. (He even continues to wear his suit.) However, when a group of terrorists call in a bomb threat, Hammer is the one who heads down to the clock store to try to disarm it. The bomb is ticking. Unfortunately, so is every clock in the store.
“Go Hammer go!” the people watching chant.
“Go bomb go,” Trunk mutters in his office.
Fortunately, Hammer is able to find and disarm the bomb. The store is saved and so is Hammer’s job.
Yay!
This episode wasn’t quite as funny as last week but it still had plenty of laughs. David Rasche delivers his berserk lines with so much earnestness that they actually start to make a strange sort of sense. When Hammer stepped into the store and saw every clock ticking back and forth, I laughed harder than I’ve laughed in a while.
The important thing is that Hammer outsmarted the media.
The Wisconsin primary will go down in history. As much as I disagree with Frances Hong on the issues, I felt a bit sorry for her. There was a time when it was very trendy to claim to be mentally ill on social media. I think a lot of people are going to run into the same problem that she ran into when they try to run for office.
Kitchen Nightmares (Disney Plus)
I watched the two latest episodes. I am amazed that anyone would allow their business to appear on this show. Personally, I am never going to eat again.
Survivor 50 (Wednesday Night, CBS)
That 90-minute run time is going to be the death of Survivor. Every episode feels so dragged out now.
Top of the Pops (YouTube)
I watched two episodes from the 80s on Saturday morning It featured some of the least danceable music that I’ve ever heard.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!
My friend Pat McCurry introduced me to Sledge Hammer earlier this year. Starring David Rasche as Detective Sledge Hammer, this show was a parody of Dirty Harry and Hunter. Since I’m currently reviewing Hunter on Thursday night, it seems only appropriate to review Sledge Hammer on Friday night!
Episode 1.1 “Under the Gun
(Dir by Martha Coolidge, originally aired on September 23rd, 1986)
“HAMMER!” shouts police Captain Trunk (Harrison Page), “YOU COULDN’T RESIST BLOWING UP A BUILDING ON YOUR WAY TO WORK THIS MORNING, COULD YOU!?”
Captain Trunk yells a lot but that’s just because he’s been put in charge of managing Detective Sledge Hammer (David Rasche), a San Francisco cop who talks to his gun and who is currently on suspension for shooting a robber at a grocery store before then buying some eggs and “those little cocktail weenies.” When asked by a reporter if his response was too violent, Hammer replied that he really needed his groceries.
For the record, Trunk is correct. Hammer did blow up a building on his way to work. There was a sniper on the roof so Hammer pulled a rocket launcher out of the back of his car and took care of the problem.
Despite all of that, the mayor (John Vernon, who previously played San Francisco’s mayor in Dirty Harry) orders that Sledge Hammer be taken off suspension. The Mayor’s daughter, Francie (Judie Aronson), has disappeared. (“She was either kidnapped or she is just very good at hiding.”) The police think that she was taken by the Allied Violent Offence Network (AVON), a terrorist group led by Weird Willy Luxley (D.W. Brown). Weird Willy is so evil that his own parents gave him up for adoption three years before he was born. The Mayor thinks that Sledge Hammer’s unapologetic embrace of violence is the way to go.
Hammer is assigned a partner, Dori Doreau (Anne-Marie Martin), an expert in negotiation and criminal psychology. At first, Hammer is uneasy about working with a woman. But, when he sees her beat up a man with a shotgun, he’s impressed. “That was excessively violent and totally unnecessary. I loved it.” Doreau mentions she was at the top of her class in hand-to-hand combat. “I’d like to fight you sometimes, Doreau,” Hammer replies.
Hammer promises to bring back “the mayor’s daughter, dead or alive.” Reasoning that it’s usually a member of the family who is to blame in cases like this, Hammer arrests and interrogates the Mayor’s wife. That gets Hammer suspended again but it turns out that Hammer was half-right. It wasn’t the Mayor’s wife. Instead, in true Patty Hearst manner, it turns out that Francie Flambo is a member of AVON and she arranged her own kidnapping!
It all leads to a shootout in a warehouse, as these things often do. When AVON makes their ransom demand, Doreau is sent to deliver the money. (She’s actually given a suitcase full of shredded paper.) Sledge Hammer crashes through a skylight and lands on a box, grinning.
“Why are you smiling!?” Weird Willie Luxley demands.
“I’m trigger happy, that’s why!” Hammer replies.
Soon, all of the members of AVON have been subdued and Francie has been arrested. The Mayor offers Doreau a promotion but Doreau refuses to accept it because she feels that Hammer is not being given the recognition that he deserves.
This seems like the start of a beautiful friendship.
The first episode of Sledge Hammer may be 40 years old but it’s still feels relevant and the laughs still feel earned. As played by David Rasche, Sledge Hammer is the perfect parody of every unapologetically violent action hero. Though there are hints of attraction between him and Doreau, the episode makes it pretty clear that Hammer’s true love is for his gun. At the same time, there’s something rather refreshing about Hammer’s total and complete lack of angst. As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that Hammer would probably get as annoyed with Daniel Craig’s self-pitying version of James Bond as I do.
This pilot was enjoyable and funny 26 minutes of pure entertainment. I look forward to reviewing the rest of the series!
