Simmy Bow – Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!

This week, Hammer’s former partner break out of prison!

Episode 1.4 “They Shoot Hammers, Don’t They?”

(Dir by David Wechter, originally aired on October 17th, 1986)

At the annual police quick-draw contest, Hammer is once again named the department champion. His secret is to shoot every target, whether it represents a criminal or a civilian. He also attaches a “loudener” to the barrel of his gun, which not only makes a lot of noise but also causes a lot of damage.

Hammer is going to need all of his abilities, because his childhood friend and former partner on the force, John Kogan (Jack Thibeau), has broken out of jail and hijacked a bus. He announces that he’s going to drive the bus across the country and cause a lot of trouble unless Hammer meets him for a duel. Kogan, a corrupt cop, blames Hammer for sending him to prison. Captain Trunk refuses to allow Hammer to meet with Kogan. As Trunk puts it, Kogan is one man with a bus. How much damage can he do?

After a montage of buildings exploding and people running in fear, Hammer finally confronts Kogan. As Dori Doreau watches, Kogan and Hammer attempt to outdraw each other. Kogan turns out to be faster than Hammer. He shoots the gun out of Hammer’s hand, then keeps shooting the gun.

“Stop shooting my gun!” Hammer yells.

This was a funny episode, even if it didn’t quite reach the comedic heights of the previous three. While those episodes were often intentionally absurd and even surreal, this one tells a relatively straightforward story. That said, David Rasche continues to be gleefully unhinged as Hammer, and Anne-Marie Martin and Harrison Page provide good support as the two people tasked with keeping him under control.

The funniest scene involves Hammer using a pay phone to talk to an informant who is himself using another pay phone only about five feet away. When the informant demands $25,000 for his information, Hammer has to use another pay phone to call the station and get Trunk’s permission. Trunk has left for lunch, so Hammer then has to use yet another pay phone to call Trunk’s home. It’s a wonderfully chaotic visual gag, and it gives David Rasche a chance to show off some impressive physical comedy.

In the end, the city is saved. Trust Sledge Hammer. He knows what he’s doing.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, cocaine comes to the locker room. Actually, cocaine was probably already there. Now, there’s more cocaine. Football, right?

Anyway….

Episode 1.4 “The Slump”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 16th, 1984)

This week’s episode starts off with some full front nudity as wide receiver Mace Petty (Marshall R. Teague) takes a shower with a blonde woman. Suddenly, a bearded man steps into the shower, accuses Mace of seducing his wife, and points a gun at him. OH MY GOD, IS MACE GOING TO DIE!? (And who is Mace, anyway?)

Oh wait, it’s a prop gun. Ha ha, it’s practical joke. Those crazy Bulls.

With the required HBO nudity out of the way, the plot kicks off. The Bulls are in a slump. They’ve lost their past two games! In order to turn things around, Diane makes a trade for a talented wide receiver. (Ha! TAKE THAT, MACE!) Butch Cassidy (Michael Toland) may be a good athlete but guess who has a cocaine addiction!? Butch is soon snorting in the men’s room. When he has to take a drug test, he uses a groupie’s urine instead. When the results come back, it’s announced that Butch is pregnant. Butch is kicked off the team. Maybe the Sundance Kid can take his place….

The good news is that The Bulls still win their next game, breaking the slump. And Bob Dorsey earns Diana’s trust by telling her that Butch has a drug problem. And the Arcola Brothers attempt to keep the Bulls from serving beer at the stadium is thwarted when Diana has a bunch of helicopter fly in the beer. (That way, no one has to cross the picket line that the Arcolas have set up outside the stadium.) Finally, Carl Witherspoon gets a new contract and the rest of the team gets jealous because Carl is now a “millionaire” but then Carl points out that he’s a terrible negotiator and he actually got screwed over on the contract. He then agrees to take the team to Hawaii. No wonder they won that game!

This episode was actually better than the previous three. That doesn’t mean it was particularly good but still it wasn’t terrible. (And that’s what we mean by “damning by faint praise.”) If nothing else, Michael Toland gave a good performance as the cocky but self-destructive Butch Cassidy. I also kind of like the chemistry between Geoffrey Scott and Delta Burke. They’re good together. As far as episodes of bad shows go, this was a good one.