Marty Zagon – Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!

This week, Sledge is going back to school!

Episode 1.6 “To Sledge, With Love”

(Dir by David Wechter, originally aired on October 31st, 1986)

When an obnoxious man insists on smoking a cigar in the police station despite it being against the rules, Sledge Hammer shoots the cigar out of his mouth. Later, when Hammer asks Captain Trunk if he’s going to yell at him about shooting the cigar, Trunk asks what difference it would make.

It’s good to see that Trunk is learning.

Speaking of learning, the local high school has been taken over by a gang! It’s time for Sledge Hammer and Dori to go back to school. Unfortunately for Hammer, that means that he can’t shoot or even hit anyone. “You mean I have to wait until this punk is 18 before I can toss him off the roof?” Hammer asks. Sorry, Hammer!

The school has a lot of problems, but the main one is a delinquent named Turk (Shawn Klugman). Turk is more concerned with stealing cars for Mr. Roscoe (Norman Alden) than with going to class. When Sledge Hammer tries to get through to him by showing off his gun and challenging him to a fight, Turk laughs him off. When Sledge Hammer tries to teach Turk that he’s a “homosapien,” Turk angrily declares that he has lots of girlfriends and then walks out of class.

It looks like Turk is a lost cause, but Hammer has one more trick up his sleeve. He reveals how much money Roscoe is making by selling used cars. Turk realizes that he deserves to get paid a lot more than just $500 for his hard work. Turk helps Hammer take down Roscoe and then, at the end of the episode, he announces that he’s going to join the Police Academy as soon as he graduates.

Good work, Hammer!

I enjoyed this episode more than last week’s. While last week’s episode sometimes seemed to be a bit too much of a straight crime drama, this week’s episode returns to the format of nonstop jokes. The entire episode is a parody of those painfully earnest films where a teacher comes to a tough school and manages to change the lives of their students. Hammer changes lives not with confidence-building and smart lesson plans but instead with a big gun. Hey, whatever gets the job done!

How do you thank someone who took you from crayons to perfume? It’s not easy, but I’ll try….

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week …. it’s jet pack time!

Episode 5.21 “The Game of War”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on March 14th, 1982)

While the members of the Highway Patrol try and fail to beat Harlan at chess, Peter J. Stoler (Clu Gulager) plots a prison break. Stoler is one of the leading members of a group of former soldiers. On the weekends, they engage in war games. During the week, they plot to spring their former leader, Rascoe (Johnny Seven), from prison. Peter has just received a jet pack. Unless the Highway Patrol can stop them, Rascoe is going to fly to freedom.

Meanwhile, a process server named Darla Mason (Sandra Kerns) goes to ludicrous lengths to serve her targets. She pretends to have car trouble. She wears old person makeup. She does whatever she needs to do to get her target to lower their defenses so that she can hand them their court papers and say, “You’ve been served.” Process servers are a necessary part of our legal system but I’ve never cared much for any of the ones that I’ve known. It takes a certain amount of cruelty to get close to someone just so you can give them a summons. Darla is a fairly annoying character and I certainly wasn’t upset when Rascoe’s militia abducted her. And when the episode ended with her getting served, it felt like poetic justice.

This episode was nothing special but it held my attention. I mean, how can you not enjoy a little jet pack action? Clu Gulager was actually somewhat sympathetic as the main bad guy. Personally, I think Ponch and Baker should have let him go. Just give him his jet pack and let him fly away. He didn’t mean any harm!

Seriously, they should have given Clu his own show.