Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  This Thursdays, I will be reviewing Almost Heaven, which aired its only episode on ABC in 1978.  The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, we take a look at a pilot featuring a few familiar faces.

Episode 1.1 “Almost Heaven”

(Dir by Bill Persky, originally aired on December 28th, 1978)

After getting into an argument with his girlfriend, college student Dave Leland (Robert Hays) accidentally drives his car off of a cliff.  One second, Dave is plunging to his death and the next second, he’s stepping into what appears to be a rather nondescript counseling office.

He is met by Lydia (Eva Gabor), who explains that Dave is dead.  (“You’ll get used to it.”)  Dave wasn’t bad enough to go to Hell but he also wasn’t good enough to win immediate entry into Heaven so for now, he’s been assigned to work at the Heavenly Crisis and Conscience Center.  Lydia explains that this is where souls wait until they’ve done enough good deeds to enter Heaven.  It’s Almost Heaven.

At this point, I yelled at the screen, “It’s Purgatory!  Get it right!”

Dave’s job is to watch Earth on television and to counsel anyone who he sees preparing to make a bad decision.  (The people who he counsels will be brought to the office but they’ll forget about it as soon as they leave, though Dave’s hopefully good advice will remain in their minds.  Got it?)  Dave’s coworkers are snooty Randall (Richard Roat), perky Annie (Laura Heineman), and future talk show host Danny (Jay Leno).

Okay, actually, Danny is not a talk show host.  Instead, he’s the character who seems like he’s cynical but who actually has a good heart.  In life, he stole cars.  In death, he helps Dave learn the ropes and he has an oddly flirtatious vibe with Eva Gabor.

Once Dave gets used to being dead, it’s time for him to talk Bridgett (Ellen Regan) out of killing herself.  Does he succeed?  Well, it would be a really depressing sitcom if he didn’t.

Almost Heaven was a pilot that was not turned into a full series.  It aired once, a few days after Christmas, and that was it.  Robert Hays was likable in the lead role and the supporting cast did the best they could.  (It’s obvious that he was more of a stand-up than an actor but, to the probable disappointment of Conan fans everywhere, Jay Leno is actually okay in this pilot.)  The main problem with the pilot is that the script is so jokey that the moments that try to be serious — like Dave convincing Bridgett not to kill herself — feel out of place and fall flat.  This is one of those pilots where you can imagine it actually developing into a good show but only if the writers eventually managed to settle on a consistent tone.  As well, they really should have called this show Purgatory.  Almost Heaven could mean anywhere.

Almost Heaven only ran for one episode but hopefully, Dave eventually made it into Heaven.  As for Robert Hays, he went on to star in Airplane! so everything turned out for the best.