Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 1.5 “A Shot In The Dark”

Posted on November 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, the murders continue and two detectives continue to obsess.

Episode 1.5 “A Shot In The Dark”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on February 24th, 1993)

As I watched this week’s episode of Homicide, it occurred to me that I really don’t care about Stanley Bolander’s relationship with Dr. Carol Blythe.

Seriously, I really did try to give this storyline a chance. Bolander is played by the great character actor Ned Beatty. Dr. Blythe is played by Wendy Hughes. Both Beatty and Hughes are no longer with us but they were both very good actors and I’m always in favor of giving good actors a plotline. But, my God — Bolander is so whiny! I mean, I get it. He’s newly divorced and he’s unsure of himself and he’s a lot more comfortable investigating death than actually living life. However, Dr. Blythe obviously likes him and Bolander had a fairly good date with her during the previous episode so why did he spend this episode afraid to talk to her on the phone? During this episode, Bolander and Munch were investigating the murder of a drug dealer. The only witness was a high-class prostitute who ended up hitting on Bolander, largely because she wanted him to buy her some food. It was an interesting-enough case but instead of focusing on that, the whole thing was Munch telling Bolander to call Blythe and Bolander getting mad as a result. It got old.

While Bolander whined about his relationship issues, Lewis and Crosetti continued to investigate the shooting of Officer Thormann. Crosetti was convinced that Thormann had been shot by Alfred Smith (Mojo Gentry), largely because a man named Charles Flavin (Larry Hull) fingered Smith as being the shooter. Lewis thought that Flavin was a more likely suspect, especially after Flavin failed a lie detector. In the end, it was not superior police work that led to the arrest of Charles Flavin but instead his girlfriend telling Crosetti and Lewis that Flavin shot Thormann because he had a headache. When confronted, Flavin immediately confessed and then started complaining about his migraine.

(As for Officer Thormann, he survives being shot in the head but he is now blind.)

Everyone is happy that Thormann’s shooter has been arrested but Crosetti finds himself wracked with guilt and self-doubt over the fact that he nearly arrested the wrong man. In a wonderfully-acted moment, Crosetti tells Lewis that Giardello was right. Crosetti was too close to Thormann to work the case.

Speaking of getting too involved in a case, Bayliss continues to obsess over the Adena Watson case. After the incompetent Captain Barnfather (Clayton LeBouef) goes to a community meeting and reveals that a pipe was used to kill Adeena (and, in the process, ruins Bayliss’s plan to interrogate the man who he suspects is the murderer), Bayliss calls Barnfather and calls him a — cover your ears, if you’re young — “butthead.” Barnfather is so offended that he comes to the station to demand that Bayliss be taken off the case. Giardello tells Bayliss that he can either apologize or he can find another job. Giardello also acknowledges that Barnfather’s an idiot and Bayliss has every reason to be upset. Bayliss, who has a cold and is running a fever, apologizes and then tells Giardello that he’s willing to step down as primary and let Pembleton have the case. Giardello, who really is the perfect boss, tells Bayliss to go home and get some sleep.

While Bayliss is losing his temper, Felton and Pembleton are investigating a man who lived in the neighborhood where Adeena’s body was found. Felton’s theory is that the man killed Adeena and then kept her body in the trunk of his car before dumping her in the back yard where she was found. The man’s car has subsequently been repossessed and Pembleton and Felton spend a night searching for the car on various impound lots. When they finally find the car, they also find no evidence linking it to the Watson murder. The focus of these scenes was less on the search for the car and more on listening to Pembleton and Felton bicker. The two men sincerely dislike each other and Homicide deserves a lot of credit for acknowledging that working with someone is not the same thing as respecting them. Pembleton views Felton as being a racist. Felton views Pembleton as being a snob. As they look for the car, they argue about everything, from the renaming of a street after Martin Luther King to Felton’s belief that Pembleton takes everything too personally. Their argument is fascinating to listen to, largely because of the obvious disdain that each man has for the other. Neither man is portrayed as having a monopoly on the truth. Pembleton may be right about Felton’s prejudices but Felton is equally correct when he suggests that Pembleon is more concerned with showing up Bayliss than with investigating the case. It’s the type of thing that you would never hear on television today.

In the end, the neighbor and his car prove to be a dead end. But lab results come in that suggest that Bayliss’s suspicion that Adeena was killed by the local arabber may be correct. While the rest of the squad celebrates the arrest of Charles Flavin, Pembleton and Bayliss prepare to bring in the arabber.

(According to Wikipedia, an arabber is a street vendor who sells fruits and vegetables from a horse-drawn cart. Apparently, they’re a Northeastern thing and specifically a Baltimore thing. Having grown up in the Southwest, I have to admit that I had never even heard the term before watching Homicide.)

All of the Bolander nonsense aside, this was a good episode that took a look at the mental strain involved in being a homicide detective. Crosetti allowed himself to become so obsessed that he nearly arrested the wrong guy. Bayliss allowed himself to become so obsessed that he nearly lost his job as a result. Interestingly enough, Thormann’s shooter is captured because his girlfriend turned him in and not because of any superior policework. Meanwhile, it’s easy to laugh at Pembleton and Felton spending an entire day chasing down a false lead but, in doing so, they eliminate the neighbor as a viable suspect and help to make the case against the arabber even stronger. In the end, it’s a thankless job but this episode makes the viewer glad that someone’s doing it.

Next week, we finally meet the arabber!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on the Street 1.4 “Son of a Gun”

Posted on October 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get emotional on Homicide!

Episode 1.4 “Son of a Gun”

(Dir by Nick Gomez, originally aired on February 10th, 1993)

Officer Chris Thormann (Lee Tergesen), a patrol officer who is friendly with the Homicide detectives and who is a bit of protegee to Steve Crosetti, has been shot. While Thormann lies in surgery with a bullet in his brain, his wife (Edie Falco, in one of her first television appearances) waits for news from the doctors and tries to avoid the members of the callous press. Crosetti demands to be put in charge of the investigation into Thormann’s shooting and when Giardello points out, quite correctly, that Crosetti is too close to the victim to be objective, Crosetti strips down to his boxers and shows Giardello the scars left behind by every time that he’s been shot.

It’s an odd scene, one that seems to come out of nowhere in an episode that, up until that moment, had been pretty serious. Kotto does a great job of capturing Giardello’s horror as Crosetti drops his pants. It’s obvious that this is not the first time that Crosetti has shown off his scars to get assigned to a certain case. It’s a scene that shouldn’t work but it does work because not only is it well-acted by Yaphet Kotto and Jon Polito but it also captures the insanity of being a homicide detective. Just four episodes in, Homicide has already shown that it can be a funny show but the humor is rooted in the darkest corners of the human experience. To survive as a homicide detective, you have to harden yourself to the point of being callous and you have to be able to see the humor in just about everything. Crosetti, with his constant analysis of the Lincoln assassination and his inventory of bullet scars, may seem crazy but actually, he’s doing what he has to do to survive.

The episode ends with Thormann alive but in a coma and possibly brain-damaged. And it ends with the shooter still at large. Crosetti has received an anonymous tip from someone saying that the killer was a man named Alfred Smith. But who knows if that’s true.

The Adeena Watson case remains open, as well. Bayliss and Pembleton are still struggling to figure out how to work together. Bayliss is too obsessed with the case. Pembleton is too determined to show up the new guy. A raid on the apartment where it’s believed Adeena was murdered turns up nothing but more evidence of human misery. That said, a cheerful guy (played by Paul Schulze) who claims to be an agent for hitmen does give up several of his clients, allowing Howard and Felton to close even more cases. Even Calpurnia Church (Mary Jefferson), the “black widow” from the pilot, is finally arrested due to the agent’s testimony.

Finally, Stanley Bolander goes on his first date with Dr. Blythe. Before going on his date, he meets his neighbor, Larry Molera (Luis Guzman). Larry is a carpenter. He’s built a coffin that is currently sitting in living room. Bolander’s date goes well but the nervous Bolander turns down Blythe’s offer to go back to her place with her. Bolander returns to his apartment, where he discovers that Larry is dead and lying in his coffin. (Much, who was called when Larry’s body was discovered, is shocked to see Bolander. Bolander is not happy that Much now knows where he lives.) Larry’s death inspires Boland to return to Dr. Blythe’s apartment.

This was an emotional episode. Thormann is clinging to his life while his wife and Crosetti wait for him to wake up. The recently divorced Bolander finally found the courage to go out with Dr. Blythe. Bayliss appears to be so obsessed with the Adeena Watson case that he’s struggling to think straight. This episode takes a look at the mental strain that comes from dealing with crime and death on a daily basis. It’s well-done, even if it’s not quite as memorable as Night of the Dead Living. (The stuff with Larry and his coffin was a bit too self-consciously quirky to be as emotionally devastating as the show obviously meant for it to be.) If I took anything away from this episode, it’s that fate is random. Officer Thormann has been shot in the head but he survived hours of surgery. Larry seemed to be healthy but he suddenly died while Bolander was on his date. Adeena’s killer may never be caught while Calpurnia Church was caught because of an initially unrelated investigation. Some of the detectives are skilled. Some of them are not. But, in the end, they’re all at the random mercy of fate.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on Street 1.3 “Night of the Dead Living”

Posted on October 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Homicide Squad works the night shift on the hottest night of the year.

Episode 1.3 “Night of the Dead Living”

(Dir by Michael Lehmann, originally aired on March 31st, 1993)

On the hottest night of the year, Giardello’s homicide squad works the night shift. Everyone comes in grumpy. Munch has just broken up with his girlfriend. Bolander is trying to work up the courage to call Dr. Blythe. Bayliss is still obsessing on the Adeena Watson case and he and Pembleton are still trying to figure out how to work together. Kay’s sister is having trouble at home. Felton’s wife hates him. Crosetti worries about his teenage daughter and her boyfriend. Giardello tries to figure out why the air conditioner is only blowing out hot air on what Lewis claims is the hottest night in history.

Despite the heat and the statistics that show that most homicide occur at night, no calls come in. Bayliss is convinced he’s cracked the Watson case when he discovers that the fingerprints on Adeena’s library book belongs to someone named James. He sends Thorson out to arrest James. James turns out to be a seventh grader who thinks he’s being arrested by not paying a library fine. (James did check out the book, when he was in the fifth grade.)

A drunk man dressed as Santa Claus is brought in and later falls through the ceiling when he attempts to escape custody. A baby is found in the station’s basement but it turns out to the cleaning lady’s baby. She brings him to work with her to protect him from the rats that live in their apartment building. Eventually, Bolander works up the courage to call Blythe and Bayliss and Pembleton figure out that Adeena’s body was found where it was because her killer brought the body down a fire escape. At the end of the shift, Giardello assembles his detectives on the roof and joyfully sprays them with the water hose.

It’s an episode that feels like a play, taking place in one location and featuring a lot of monologuing. Each member of the squad gets a their chance in the spotlight, with the episode revealing that every one of them is a bit more complex than they initially seem. Even Munch, the misanthrope, is shown to light a candle in memory of “all those who have been killed.” It’s one of those episodes that makes you understand why Homicide is considered to be classic while also showing you why it struggled in the ratings. In this episode, Homicide revealed itself to be not a cop show but instead a show about people who happened to be cops. Most shows about detectives end with an arrest. This episode ends with Giardello showing his love for the people who work for him. After spending an hour with everyone sweating and complaining, it’s nice to see them happy on the roof of the station house. Yaphet Kotto’s joy in the final scene is a wonder to behold. And yet, it’s easy to imagine how confused audiences, whose expectations had been set by more traditional crime show, would have been.

This episode was meant to be the third episode of the series. NBC decided that it worked better as the finale of the first season and instead made it the ninth episode. Peacock has this episode placed where it originally belonged and, with this review, that’s what I’m going with as well.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on the Street 1.2 “Ghost of a Chance”

Posted on October 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the search for Adeena Watson’s murderer begins.

Episode 1.2 “Ghost of a Chance”

(Dir by Martin Campbell, originally aired on February 3rd, 1993)

There’s been a murder in Baltimore. That, in itself, is not news. The pilot firmly established that murder is a fact of life in Baltimore. But, the victim of this crime is an 11 year-old girl named Adeena Watson, who left her home to go to the library and who never returned. The press is covering every detail. The police brass want an arrest and they want an arrest quickly. And the primary detective on the case is rookie Tim Bayliss, who has never even worked a murder case on his own before. Giardello refuses to replace Bayliss but he also makes it clear that he needs Bayliss to bring him something.

As for Bayliss, he spends most of this episode struggling. Not only does he not have the respect of his fellow detective but he also, as a rookie, doesn’t even have a desk until Giardello, in a fit of anger, knocks everything off an unoccupied desk and awards it to Bayliss. (So, was that desk just sitting there the whole time? I thought they didn’t have any available desks.) Because this crime is what is known as a “red ball,” (i.e., a murder that has attracted the attention of the media and the public), every detective is looking for Adeena’s murderer. While Bayliss obsesses on who Adeena was before she was killed, the rest of the squad does the practical things, like talking to neighbors and bringing in all of the city’s sex offenders for interrogation.

My heart broke for Bayliss while watching this episode. Kyle Secor did a good job of capturing both Bayliss’s outrage over the crime and his fear of failing to solve his first case as a primary. While Bayliss stared at Adeena’s body in the alley, Munch, Lewis, and Crosetti debated sports. And while their attitude may have seemed callous, this episode established that disconnecting is the only way to handle working Homicide. Bayliss, having not learned how to disconnect, grows more and more obsessed with Adeena. I cheered a little when Bayliss finally stood up for himself and even won the grudging respect of Frank Pembleton. That said, the change in Bayliss happened almost too quickly to be credible. Apparently, all it took was for Giardello to give him a desk for Bayliss to go from being meek and overwhelmed to being a confident and take-charge detective.

While Bayliss searched for Adeena’s killer, Much and Bolander dealt with a murder that happened in a wealthy neighborhood. The killer (Gwen Verdon) was a wife who snapped after 60 years of marriage. As she explained to Bolander and Munch, she and her husband had earlier promised each other that they wouldn’t get a divorce until the children died. Bolander has a crush on the coroner, Dr. Blythe (Wendy Hughes), but he’s worried about getting back in the dating game after his own divorce. When Munch asks Bolander how old he is, Bolander replies, “48.” Ned Beatty was a great actor and I’ve never seen a bad Ned Beatty performance. That said, it’s also hard for me to think of any film where he looked a day under 50.

Meanwhile, Kay tries to get a confession from a guy who is about to go on trial for murder. Felton laughs when Kay says that she was visited by the ghost of the guy’s victim. However, Felton makes up for being a jerk by helping Kay find the murder weapon. This whole subplot was odd to me, largely because Kay really doesn’t come across as the type to believe in ghosts. But whatever works, I guess! Melissa Leo and Daniel Baldwin did a good job in this episode, selling a storyline that had the potential to be a little bit too cute for its own good.

As the episode ended, the killer of Adeena Watson had yet to be captured. While the other detective drank at a wharf bar, Bayliss went to Adeena’s memorial service and stared at her coffin, haunted. It was a powerful moment but one that left the viewer worried about Bayliss’s sanity. Earlier in this episode, Pembleton said that a murder that goes 72 hours without being solved will never be solved. Bayliss is running out of time.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on the Street 1.1 “Gone For Goode”

Posted on October 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, I take a look at the pilot for a show that has been called one of the best of all time.

Episode 1.1 “Gone For Goode”

(Directed by Barry Levinson, originally aired on January 31st, 1993)

The opening credits for the first episode of Homicide: Life on the Street immediately announce that the show is not going to be a typical network cop show. The music starts out as moody and low-key before eventually being dominated by a pulsating beat. The images of dirty streets and crumbling rowhouses and of a dog running around behind a fence are all in black-and-white. The faces of the cast appear, the majority of them in harsh close-up. When viewed today, most of the faces are familiar. Daniel Baldwin, Ned Beatty, Andre Braugher, Clark Johnson, Yaphet Kotto, Melissa Leo, Jon Polito, and Kyle Secor all flash by and the thing that the viewer will immediately notice is that it’s almost as if they’ve been filmed to remove any hint of glamour or attractiveness. (Out of that impressive cast, only Baldwin, Johnson, Leo, and Secor are still with us.)

Gone for Goode tells several stories, introducing the detectives as they investigate various murders in Baltimore. Meldrick Lewis (Clark Johnson) and Steve Crosetti (Jon Polito) are first seen searching for a bullet in a dark alleyway and arguing in only the way that two people who have worked with each other for a long time can argue. Lewis continually refers to Crosetti as a “salami-head,” and Crosetti, who claims that he’s being kept up at night by his doubts about whether or not John Wilkes Booth was actually Lincoln’s assassin, repeatedly says that Lewis will regret that. Later, Crosetti writes a complaint about the ethnic insults that he’s been forced to listen to but apparently, he never actually sends it.

When not arguing with each other, Crosetti and Lewis investigate “Aunt Calpurnia,” who has buried five husbands and whose niece has nearly been murdered three times. Aunt Calpurnia has life insurance policies out on everyone. While digging up Calpurnia’s former husband, Lewis comments that the body in the grave doesn’t look as large as the man in the picture that he’s been given. The cemetery’s caretaker replies, “Nobody stays fat down there.” Technically, that’s true but it also turns out that the wrong man was buried in the grave and the caretaker has no idea where anyone is actually buried.

Detective Felton (Daniel Baldwin) and Detective Howard (Melissa Leo) investigate the murder of a man who was found decaying in a basement. Howard is the primary detective on the case because Felton, being a screw-up, has too many unsolved cases under his name on the dry-erase board that dominates the squad room. Howard currently has a streak of solved homicides and that continues for her when the murderer just happens to call the crime scene and then agrees to come in for a talk.

Detective Stanley Bolander (Ned Beatty) guilts Detective John Munch (Richard Belzer, who would play the same character years later on Law & Order: SVU) into investigating a hit-and-run that happened months ago. Munch, who earlier tells a suspect that he is not Montel Williams (“So don’t like to me like I’m Montel Williams”) and leaves both Bolander and the suspect confused as to who Montel Williams is, eventually discovers that the murder was committed by a brain-dread idiot who can only repeat, “I was drinking,” when he’s confronted with his guilt.

Finally, Lt. Al Giardello (Yaphet Kotto) assigns Felton to work with Frank Pembleton (Andre Braugher), a brilliant but arrogant detective who insists on working alone. Pembleton and Felton’s partnership begins with Pembleton spending an hour in the station’s garage, searching for his squad car because Pembleton forgot to write down the parking space on the back of his keys. (Of course the garage is full of identical white cars.) When Felton says suggests just going upstairs and getting a new set of keys, Pembleton shouts that the next car he tries to unlock could be the right car.

Needless to say, the Pembleton/Felton partnership does not last and Pembleton instead ends up working with an eager newcomer to the squad, Tim Bayliss (Kyle Secor). They two of them work surprisingly well together until Bayliss objects to Pembleton “fooling” a suspect into waving his right to an attorney.

As the episode comes to a close, Bayliss answers his first call in the squad room. At the crime scene, in the middle of a torrential storm, he discovers the body of a small girl.

I have to say that the idea of trying to review Homicide: Life on The Street is a bit intimidating, just because the show has got an almost legendary reputation. It’s often described as being the best cop show of the 90s, as well as being held up as a perfect example of a show that was too good to last. It was never a hit in the ratings and came close to being canceled several times. Because it was filmed in Baltimore, it was viewed as being an outsider amongst the New York and Hollywood-produced shows that dominated the airwaves. Executive produced by Barry Levinson (who also directed Gone for Goode) and based on a non-fiction book by David Simon, Homicide is the show that is often cited as the precursor for The Wire, another show that was loved by the critics but not by its network or the Emmy voters.

The pilot is intriguing, largely because it seems determined to scare off its audience. Unlike other television detectives, who are inevitably portrayed as being crusaders who are obsessed with justice, the detectives in Homicide are a blue collar bunch who, for the most part, are just doing their job. Sure, someone like Frank Pembleton might be brilliant. And Stanley Bolander might truly mean it when he tells Munch that “we speak for the dead.” And Bayliss does seem to be very enthusiastic about being a “thinking” policeman. But the show suggests that most detectives are like Felton, Lewis, and Much. They’re not particularly brilliant and their approach to the job can sometimes seem callous. But occasionally, they get lucky and a murder is solved. Indeed, if there is any real message to the pilot, it’s that criminals are stupid. They get caught not because of brilliant police work but because they do stupid things, like calling the crime scene or failing to ditch the car that they sole.

That said, the pilot also does what a pilot is supposed to do. It introduces the characters and gives them just enough space to make an impression, along with also leaving enough room for them to grow. The characters may not all be instantly likeable but, fortunately, the strong cast holds your interest. The pilot is very much a product of the 90s, with Munch ranting about Montel Williams and Crosetti mentioning Madonna at one point. But, at the same time, it still feels relevant today. Pop culture might change but murder remains the same.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

Posted on September 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, things get weird in Miami!

Episode 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on May 2ns 1986)

Pirate radio DJ Captain Hook (Richard Belzer) sits on his yacht in international waters and broadcasts music to Miami while, at the same time, brokering drug deals among other yacht owners. His assistant is Noogie (Charlie Barnett), the informant who was all over the place during Miami Vice’s first season but who, up until this episode, was absent from the second season.

On another yacht, a group of Bolivians are gunned down by preppy young men who are led by Ivy League dropout Skip Mueller (Perry Lang). Skip and his buddies brag about being pirates and cheerfully make jokes while standing over the bodies of the men and the women that they killed.

A seaplane pilot named Jackson Crane (a young Gary Cole) raids the Bolivian yacht and takes some of the boat’s equipment home with him. Jackson is a longtime drug smuggler who claims that he’s on the verge of retirement. He’s dating a woman named Lani (Nicole Fosse), who happens to be Skip’s sister.

In a trailer park, Jumbo (Tommy Chong) and his wife Fluffy (Denny Dillon) keep a running tally of how many rats they’ve killed while trying to buy drugs and fence stolen goods. Jumbo calls everyone “man.” Fluffy is good with a shotgun.

And, in the middle of all this, we’ve got two aspiring drug dealers named Burnett and Cooper. Burnett and Cooper, of course, are actually Crockett and Tubbs. Just two episodes ago, one of Miami’s fiercest drug lords figured out that Burnett and Cooper are actually cops but I guess he decided not to tell anyone, despite the fact that he still thinks Crockett owes him money.

It’s a bizarre episode, full of strange characters and a plot that has so many double-crosses that it’s hard to keep track of who is betraying who. The episode was originally intended to be a sequel to Smuggler’s Blues, with Glenn Frey once again playing Jimmy the Pilot. When Frey couldn’t fit a return appearance into his schedule, the script was rewritten to feature Gary Cole as a friend of Jimmy’s. That said, it’s still obvious that the script was originally written more to highlight a popular guest star than to tell a totally coherent story.

Fortunately, Miami Vice works best when its a bit incoherent. One the major themes of the show is that no one can be trusted and that everyone is willing to betray everyone else. The world of Miami Vice is often illogical because it’s a world full of illogical people who tend to do whatever pops into their head at any given moment. Another major theme is that everyone either wants to get rich from selling drugs or they’re just adrenaline junkies who get a high from being involved in the underground. Skip and his friends are rich. They just enjoy killing people and pretending to be gangsters. This is one of the more violent and bloody episodes of Miami Vice. Skip and his friends enjoy their work a little too much.

It’s a good episode and well-acted. Gary Cole was considered for the role of Crockett before Don Johnson got the part and, in this episode, it’s easy to see why. Even as a young actor, Cole has a rugged cynicism to him that’s both dangerous and compelling. Perry Lang appeared in a lot of dumb teen comedies in the 80s, usually playing dorky nice guys. He’s absolutely chilling as the sociopathic Skip Mueller. And finally, there’s Richard Belzer, wearing an eyepatch, opening the episode by rapping with Noogie, and encouraging the criminals of Miami to enjoy some good music while breaking the law. Full of strange characters and shocking violence, this episode captures the idea of Miami being a surreal playground for the rich, ruthless, and crazy.

Next week, season 2 comes to an end!

Icarus File No. 11: The Bonfire of the Vanities (dir by Brian De Palma)

Posted on September 25, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2021, I finally saw the infamous film, The Bonfire of the Vanities.

I saw it when it premiered on TCM. Now, I have to say that there were quite a few TCM fans who were not happy about The Bonfire of the Vanities showing up on TCM, feeling that the film had no place on a station that was supposed to be devoted to classic films. While it’s true that TCM has shown “bad” films before, they were usually films that, at the very least, had a cult reputation. And it is also true that TCM has frequently shown films that originally failed with audiences or critics or both. However, those films had almost all been subsequently rediscovered by new audiences and often reevaluated by new critics. The Bonfire of the Vanities is not a cult film. It’s not a film about which one can claim that it’s “so bad that it’s good.” As for the film being reevaluated, I’ll just say that there is no one more willing than me to embrace a film that was rejected by mainstream critics. But, as I watched The Bonfire of the Vanities, I saw that everything negative that I had previously read about the film was true.

Released in 1990 and based on a novel by Tom Wolfe, Bonfire of the Vanities stars Tom Hanks as Sherman McCoy, a superficial Wall Street trader who has the perfect penthouse and a painfully thin, status-obsessed wife (Kim Cattrall). Sherman also has a greedy mistress named Maria (Melanie Griffith). It’s while driving with Maria that Sherman takes a wrong turn and ends up in the South Bronx. When Sherman gets out of the car to move a tire that’s in the middle of the street, two black teenagers approach him. Maria panics and, after Sherman jumps back in the car, she runs over one of the teens. Maria talks Sherman into not calling the police. The police, however, figure out that Sherman’s car was the one who ran over the teen. Sherman is arrested and finds himself being prosecuted by a power-hungry district attorney (F. Murray Abraham). The trial becomes the center of all of New York City’s racial and economic strife, with Sherman becoming “the great white defendant,” upon whom blame for all of New York’s problems can be placed. Bruce Willis plays an alcoholic journalist who was British in the novel. Morgan Freeman plays the judge, who was Jewish in the novel. As well, in the novel, the judge was very much a New York character, profanely keeping order in the court and spitting at a criminal who spit at him first. In the movie, the judge delivers a speech ordering everyone to “be decent to each other” like their mothers taught them to be.

Having read Wolfe’s very novel before watching the film, I knew that there was no way that the adaptation would be able to remain a 100% faithful to Wolfe’s lacerating satire. Because the main character of Wolfe’s book was New York City, he was free to make almost all of the human characters as unlikable as possible. In the book, Peter Fallow is a perpetually soused opportunist who doesn’t worry about who he hurts with his inflammatory articles. Sherman McCoy is a haughty and out-of-touch WASP who never loses his elitist attitude. In the film, Bruce Willis smirks in his wiseguy manner and mocks the other reporters for being so eager to destroy Sherman. Hanks, meanwhile, attempts to play Sherman as an everyman who just happens to live in a luxury penthouse and spend his days on Wall Street. Hanks is so miscast and so clueless as how to play a character like this that Sherman actually comes across as if he’s suffering from some sort of brain damage. He feels less like a stockbroker and more like Forrest Gump without the Southern accent. There’s a scene, written specifically for the film, in which Fallow and Sherman ride the subway together and it literally feels like a parody of one of those sentimental buddy films where a cynic ends up having to take a road trip with someone who has been left innocent and naïve as result of spending the first half of their life locked in basement or a bomb shelter. It’s one thing to present Sherman as being wealthy and uncomfortable among those who are poor. It’s another thing to leave us wondering how he’s ever been able to successfully cross a street in New York City without getting run over by an angry cab driver.

Because the film can’t duplicate Wolfe’s unique prose, it instead resorts to mixing cartoonish comedy and overwrought melodrama. It doesn’t add up too much. At one point, Sherman ends a dinner party by firing a rifle in his apartment but, after it happens, the incident is never mentioned again. I mean, surely someone else in the apartment would have called the cops about someone firing a rifle in the building. Someone in the press would undoubtedly want to write a story about Sherman McCoy, the center of the city’s trial of the century, firing a rifle in his own apartment. If the novel ended with Sherman resigned to the fact that his legal problems are never going to end, the film ends with Sherman getting revenge on everyone who has persecuted him and he does so with a smirk that does not at all feel earned. After two hours of being an idiot, Sherman suddenly outthinks everyone else. Why? Because the film needed the happy ending that the book refused to offer up.

Of course, the film’s biggest sin is that it’s just boring. It’s a dull film, full of good actors who don’t really seem to care about the dialogue that they are reciting. Director Brian De Palma tries to give the film a certain visual flair, resorting to his usual collection of odd camera angles and split screens, none of which feel at all necessary to the story. In the end, De Palma is not at all the right director for the material. Perhaps Sidney Lumet could have done something with it, though he would have still had to deal with the less than impressive script. De Palma’s over-the-top, set piece-obsessed sensibilities just add to the film’s cartoonish feel.

The film flopped at the box office. De Palma’s career never recovered. Tom Hanks’s career as a leading man was momentarily derailed. Bruce Willis would have to wait a few more years to establish himself as a serious actor. Even the normally magnanimous Morgan Freeman has openly talked about how much he hated being involved with The Bonfire of the Vanities. That said, the film lives on because De Palma allowed journalist Julie Salomon to hang out on the set and the book she wrote about the production, The Devil’s Candy, is a classic of Hollywood non-fiction. (TCM adapted the book into a podcast, which is how The Bonfire of the Vanities came to be featured on the station.) Thanks to Salomon’s book, The Bonfire of the Vanities has gone to become the epitome of a certain type of flop, the literary adaptation that is fatally compromised by executives who don’t read.

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Homicide: The Movie (2001, directed by Jean de Segoznac)

Posted on August 7, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Before The Wire, there was Homicide: Life On The Streets.

Based on a non-fiction book by the Baltimore Sun’s David Simon, Homicide: Life on the Streets aired for seven seasons on NBC, from 1993 to 1999. For five of those seasons, Homicide was the best show on television. Produced and occasionally directed by Barry Levinson, Homicide was filmed on location in Baltimore and it followed a group of Homicide detectives as they went about their job. From the start, the show had a strong and diverse ensemble, made up of actors like Andre Braugher, Ned Beatty, Jon Polito, Melissa Leo, Kyle Secor, Clark Johnson, Richard Belzer, Daniel Baldwin, and Yaphet Kotto. When Polito’s character committed suicide at the start of the third season (in a storyline that few other shows would have had the courage to try), he was replaced in the squad by Reed Diamond.

Homicide was a show that was willing to challenge the assumptions of its audiences. The murders were not always solved. The detectives didn’t always get along. Some of them, like Clark Johnson’s Meldrick Lewis, had such bad luck at their job that it was cause for alarm whenever they picked up the ringing phone. As played by Andre Braugher, Frank Pembleton may have been the most brilliant detective in Baltimore but his brilliance came with a price and his non-stop intensity even led to him having a stroke while interrogating a prisoner. Kyle Secor played Pembleton’s partner, Tim Bayliss. Bayliss went from being an idealistic rookie to a mentally unstable veteran murder cop in record time, spending seven seasons obsessing on his first unsolved case. Homicide dealt with big issues and, much like its spiritual successor The Wire, it refused to offer up easy solutions.

Despite the critical acclaim and a much hyped second season appearance by Robin Williams (playing a father who was outraged to hear the detectives joking about the murder of his family), Homicide was never a ratings success. After five seasons of perennially being on the verge of cancellation, the producers of Homicide finally caved into NBC’s demands. The storylines became more soapy and the cases went form being random and tragic to being what the detectives had previously dismissively called “stone cold whodunits.” New detectives joined the squad and the focus shifted away from the more complex veterans. Not only did this not improve ratings but also those who had been watching the show from the start were not happy to see Pembleton and Bayliss being pushed to the side for new characters like Paul Falsone (Jon Seda) and Laura Ballard (Callie Thorne). Falsone, in particular, was so disliked that there was even an “I Hate Falsone” website. At the end of the sixth season, Andre Braugher left the show and that was the end. The seventh season limped along, with Bayliss growing increasingly unstable. The show ended with the implication of Bayliss turning into a vigilante and resigning from the Baltimore PD. It was not a satisfying ending. Richard Belzer’s John Munch moved to New York and became a regular on Law & Order: SVU but the rest of the detectives and their fates were left in limbo.

Fortunately, on February 13th, 2000, NBC gave Homicide another chance to have a proper conclusion with Homicide: The Movie.

Homicide: The Movie opens with a montage of Baltimore at its best and its worst, a reminder that Homicide never abandoned the city that had supported it for seven years. While other shows recreated New York or Chicago on a soundstage, Homicide was always an authentic product of Baltimore. Lt. Al Giardello (Yaphet Kotto) is now running for mayor on a platform calling for drug legalization. When Giardello is shot at a campaign stop, all of the current and former members of the Homicide Unit come together to investigate the case. While Giardello fights for his life, Pembleton and Bayliss partner up for one final time.

Homicide: The Movie fixes the main mistake that was made by the final two seasons of the show. Though all of the detectives get their moment in the spotlight (and all true Homicide fans will be happy to see Richard Belzer and Ned Beatty acting opposite each other for one final time), the focus is firmly on Pembleton and Bayliss. It doesn’t take long for these two former detectives, both of whom left the unit for their own different reasons, to start picking up on each other’s rhythms. Soon, they’re talking, arguing, and sometimes joking as if absolutely no time has passed since they were last partnered up together. But, one thing has changed. Bayliss now has a secret and if anyone can figure it out, it will be Frank Pembleton. What will Pembleton, the moral crusader, do when he finds out that Bayliss is now a killer himself?

The movie follows the detectives as they search for clues, interview suspects, and complain about the state of the world. However, in the best Homicide tradition, the investigation is just a launching point to investigate what it means to be right or wrong in a city as troubled as Baltimore. In the movie’s final half, it becomes more than just a reunion movie of a show that had a small but fervent group of fans. It becomes an extended debate about guilt, morality, and what it means to take responsibility for one’s actions. The final few scenes even take on the supernatural, allowing Jon Polito and Daniel Baldwin a chance to appear in the reunion despite the previous deaths of their characters.

Despite being one the best shows in the history of television, Homicide: Life on the Streets is not currently streaming anywhere, not even on Peacock. (Considering how many Homicide people later went on to work on both Oz and The Wire, it would seem like it should be a natural fit for HBOMax.) From what I understand, this is because of the show’s signature use of popular music would make it prohibitively expensive to pay for the streaming rights. Fortunately, every season has been released on home video. Homicide: The Movie is on YouTube, with the music removed. The movie’s final montage is actually more effective when viewed in complete silence.

Insomnia File #33: The Comedian (dir by Taylor Hackford)

Posted on April 3, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you were having trouble getting to sleep around two in the morning last night, you could have turned over to Starz and watched the 2016 film, The Comedian.

It probably wouldn’t have helped. It’s not that The Comedian is a particularly interesting movie or anything like that. Abysmally paced and full of dull dialogue, The Comedian would be the perfect cure for insomnia if it just wasn’t so damn loud. Robert De Niro plays an aging comedian named Jackie Burke and, in this movie, being an aging comedian means that you shout out your punch lines with such force that you almost seem to be threatening anyone who doesn’t laugh. However, the threats aren’t necessary because everyone laughs at everything Jackie says.

Actually, it’s a bit of an understatement to say that everyone laughs. In The Comedian, Jackie is such a force of pure, unstoppable hilarity that all he has to do is tell someone that they’re fat and literally the entire world will shriek with unbridled joy. The thing with laughter is that, in the real world, everyone laughs in a different way. Not everyone reacts to a funny joke with an explosive guffaw. Some people chuckle. Some people merely smile. But, in the world of The Comedian, everyone not only laughs the same way but they also all laugh at the same time. There’s never anyone who doesn’t immediately get the joke and, by that same token, there’s never anyone who can’t stop laughing once everyone else has fallen silent. The Comedian takes individuality out of laughter, which is a shame because the ability to laugh is one of the unique things that makes us human.

Anyway, The Comedian is about a formerly famous comedian who is now obscure. He used to have a hit TV show but now he’s nearly forgotten. Why he’s forgotten is never made clear because nearly everyone in the movie still seems to think that he’s the funniest guy in the world. Jackie’s an insult comic and people love it when he tells them that they’re overweight or when he makes fun of their sexual preferences. This would probably be more believable if Jackie was played by an actor who was a bit less intense than Robert De Niro. When De Niro starts to make aggressive jokes, you’re natural instinct is not so much to laugh as it is to run before he starts bashing in someone’s head with a lead pipe.

Anyway, the plot of the film is that Jackie gets into a fight with a heckler. The video of the fight is uploaded to YouTube, which leads to a scene where his manager (Edie Falco) stares at her laptop and announces, “It’s going viral!” Later on, in the movie, Jackie forces a bunch of old people to sing an obnoxious song with him and he goes viral a second time. I kept waiting for a shot of a computer screen with “VIRAL” blinking on-and-off but sadly, the movie never provided this much-needed insert.

In between beating up the heckler, ruining his niece’s wedding, and hijacking a retirement home, Jackie finds the time to fall in love with Harmony Schlitz (Leslie Mann), a character whose name alone is enough to The Comedian one of the most annoying films of all time. Harmony’s father is a retired gangster (Harvey Keitel) and you can’t help but wish that Keitel and De Niro could have switched roles. It wouldn’t have made the movie any better but at least there would have been a chance of Keitel going batshit insane whenever he took the stage to deliver jokes.

I’m not sure why anyone thought it would be a good idea to cast an actor like Robert De Niro as a successful comedian. It’s true that De Niro was brilliant playing a comedian in The King of Comedy but Rupert Pupkin was supposed to be awkward, off-putting, and not very funny. I’m not an expert on insult comics but, from what I’ve seen, it appears that the successful ones largely succeed by suggesting that they’re just having fun with the insults, that no one should take it personally, and that they appreciate any member of the audience who is willing to be a good sport. Jackie just comes across like a cranky old misogynist. Watching Jackie is like listening to your bitter uncle play Vegas. I guess it would help if Jackie actually said something funny every once in a while. A typical Jackie joke is to refer to his lesbian niece as being a “prince.” Speaking for myself, when it comes to Robert De Niro being funny, I continue to prefer the scene in Casino where he hosts the Ace Rothstein Show.

Perhaps the funniest thing about The Comedian is that, when it originally released into theaters, it was advertised as being “The Comedian, a Taylor Hackford film,” as if Taylor Hackford is some type of Scorsese-style auteur. Taylor Hackford has been making films for longer than I’ve been alive and he has yet to actually come up with any sort of signature style beyond point and shoot. The second funniest thing is that The Comedian was billed as a potential Oscar contender, up until people actually saw the damn thing.

Though it may have failed at the box office, The Comedian seems to show up on Starz quite frequently. They always seem to air it very late at night, as if they’re hoping people won’t notice.