Tag Archives: Cloris Leachman

Retro Television Reviews: Suddenly Single (dir by Jud Taylor)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1971’s Suddenly Single!  It  can be viewed on YouTube.

Suddenly Single opens with middle-aged Larry Hackett (Hal Holbrook) loading his suitcases into the back of his car.  His neighbors (David Huddleston and Pamela Rodgers) come over to say goodbye.  Larry has just gotten divorced and, as a result, he’s lost his perfect house in the suburbs.  Now, he’s going to have to move into the city and start a new life but he assures his neighbors that he’ll be okay and that there aren’t any hard feelings between him and his ex, Joanne (Cloris Leachman).  Sometimes, marriages just don’t work out….

Then Joanne shows up….

With her new husband, Ted (Fred Bier)!

While Larry can only watch, Ted insists on picking up Joanne and carrying her over the threshold of what used to be Larry’s house.  As it dawns on him that Joanne was having an affair during the final days of their marriage, Larry is understandably miffed.

Larry just isn’t ready to find himself in the world of the early 70s.  He’s an extremely conservative pharmacist who will now have to deal with hippies and the single scene.  His co-worker (Harvey Korman) encourages Larry to hit the bars.  Marlene (Agnes Moorehead) encourages him to figure out what he wants to do with his life.  His new and much younger neighbor, Jackie (Margot Kidder), tells him that he needs to get a gym membership and be more open-minded.  At first, Larry pursues a relationship with the classy Evelyn Baxter (Barbara Rush) but then he’s drawn to Jackie.  And Jackie, oddly enough, is drawn to him….

Quicker than you can say Breezy, Larry is dating the much younger Jackie and he’s starting to wear hip clothes and hang out with cool, long-haired people.  When he runs into his old neighbors on the street, he discovers that he no longer has much in common with them.  However, Larry still finds himself becoming jealous and possessive of Jackie, who is not the type of to give up her freedom for a relationship.  In the end, Larry is forced to admit that, while he has become more open-minded following his divorce, he still can’t magically change who he is.

Suddenly Single has a great cast and it’s not surprising that it’s a well-acted film.  At the same time, Larry can be a bit of a jerk.  Evelyn is the nicest person in the entire movie and Larry basically breaks her heart so that he can pursue an obviously doomed relationship with the younger Jackie.  It’s a bit sad to watch because everyone but Larry can see what he’s doing.  Larry may be wiser by the end of the film but that’s small solace to Evelyn.  Suddenly Single is about flawed characters and, as such, it can be easy to get annoyed with Larry and Jackie while also appreciating the fact that, like all of us, they’re just trying to figure out life as they go along.

Suddenly Single acts as a bit of time capsule and watching it is as probably as close as one can get to 1971 without a time machine.  It’s a trip to the past with some of the best actors of the era.

Retro Television Reviews: Death Sentence (dir by E.W. Swackhamer)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1974’s Death Sentence!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

There’s been a murder!

A young woman has been strangled in her own home.  The nosy neighbor (Hope Summers) testifies that the woman often argued with her woman and that she heard the woman yelling on the night of the murder.  The husband, John Healy (Nick Nolte), is found in a neighborhood bar and, when he’s brought back to his house, his drunken reaction to seeing his dead wife doesn’t do much to keep him from looking totally guilty.

However, the viewer knows that John is innocent because the viewer has already seen that the woman was murdered by Don Davies (Laurence Luckinbill), the man with whom she was having an affair.  She demanded that he leave his wife for her and Don, realizing that his cheating was about to revealed, responded by strangling her.

Don’s wife is Susan Davies (Cloris Leachman), who knows that she and Don have been going through a rough patch but who certainly had no idea that Don was cheating on her.  Shortly after the murder, Susan is called up for jury duty.  She’s placed on the jury and told that she will be an important part of a major trial.  As a result, she and the other jurors will be sequestered in a hotel….

And who is the defendant in this trial?  John, of course!

As opposed to the other members of the jury, who are ready to convict John even before the first bit of testimony is heard, Susan pays attention to what is said in the courtroom.  She listens to Lubell (Alan Oppenheimer), the prosecutor.  She listens to Tanner (William Schallert), the defense attorney.  She comes to believe that John is innocent but will she be able to hold her own against the rest of the jury?  And will she ever figure out that the murder was actually committed by her husband?

It’s an intriguing premise, even if it is a bit far-fetched.  I mean, it really is an amazing coincidence that Susan just happened to end up on the jury for a case involving a murder that was actually committed by her husband.  However, this is a made-for-television movie and, as soon as “Produced by Aaron Spelling” appears on the screen, most viewers should be savvy enough to know what they’re getting into.  Instead, the main problem with the film is that it opens by showing us who the murderer is.  Therefore, there’s really zero suspense as to who actually committed the crime.  Instead, the viewer spends the entire movie waiting for Susan to catch up.  Since the majority of the film takes place in court, it’s a very talky film but there’s no joy to be found in paying close attention to every word said and picking up on the details that will allow you to solve the crime for yourself.  This is a case where the film spoils its biggest twist and, despite good performances from Leachman and Luckinbill, it’s a bit dull.

(Nick Nolte, for his part, spends most of the movie silently sitting in the courtroom.  He’s not bad and his look of anguish is believable but it’s hardly a starring role, regardless of what the film’s video packaging might otherwise claim.)

In the end, what I’ll mostly remember about Death Sentence were the atrocious fashion choices made by the prosecutor.  Seriously, would you trust a man wearing this suit?

Retro Television Reviews: Haunts of the Very Rich (dir by Paul Wendkos)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1972’s Haunt of the Very Rich!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

The 1972 made-for-TV movie Haunts of the Very Rich opens with a lengthy shot of Lyle (Tony Bill) and Laurie (Donna Mills) sharing a very long kiss.  Obviously, they’re very happy and why shouldn’t they be?  They’re young.  They’re beautiful.  They’re in love.  They’re newly married.  And …. they’re on an airplane!

It’s a private plane, one that’s heading towards a resort called The Portals of Eden.  There’s only a few other people on the plane.  David Woodrough (Lloyd Bridges) is a businessman who is looking forward to spend some time away from his wife, especially if it means a chance to get to know one of the other passengers, Ellen Blunt (Cloris Leachman).  Annette Larner (Anne Francis) is also traveling alone and is hoping she might finally be able to get some sleep without having to take a handful of pills beforehand.  Rev. Fellows (Robert Reed) appears to have lost his faith.  And then there’s Al Hunsicker (Ed Asner).  Hunsicker’s a little bit confused about how he ended up on the airplane.  As far as he knows, he’s supposed to be on his way to a business meeting in Dallas.  Portals of Eden?  Al’s never heard of the place!  Of course, nobody on the plane really seems to be sure where they’re going or how they even got on the plane in the first place.  Strangely, Al appears to be the only one who finds any of this to be strange.

When the plane lands, they discover that the Portals of Eden is a large hotel sitting at the edge of a tropical wilderness.  Their host, the always polite Mr. Seacrist (Moses Gunn), welcomes them but avoids answering anyone’s questions.  Seacrist tells them to enjoy their stay.

For the first day, that’s exactly what everyone does.  They relax.  They indulge in a little pampering.  David gets to know Ellen.  Al is still worried about getting to his business meeting but he is assured that he can always fly out to Dallas the following day.

The night, a violent storm hits.  The next day, everyone wakes up to discover that the resort is nearly deserted.  There’s no electricity.  There’s no way to call out.  There’s not much food.  Seacrist tells them not to worry.  He assures them that help is on the way.  As the guests wait to be rescued, they finally start to wonder just how exactly the ended up at the resort in the first place.  They realize that they’ve almost all had a recent brush with death.  David swears to Ellen that he’ll file for divorce as soon as they get back home but what if they don’t have a home to which to return?  Occasionally, the guests hear a plane flying overhead.  At one point, they even see one land.  But every time, just when it seems like they’re on the verge of finally being rescued, the plane vanishes.

And things just get stranger from there.

If Jean-Paul Sartre had ended up in the United States, writing for The Bold and the Beautiful, the end result would probably look a lot like Haunts of the Very Rich.  Considering that this is a made-for-TV movie from the early 70s, Haunts of the Very Rich is a surprisingly effective and atmospheric little horror film.  The story itself won’t exactly win any points for originality.  You’ll guess the secret of Portals of Eden long before any of the characters in the film.  But still, it’s a well-directed and nicely acted film, one that’s topped off with a suitably surreal (if somewhat abrupt) finale.

Haunts of the Very Rich can currently be found on YouTube and I recommend it for anyone who likes their melodrama served with a side of existential dread.

Retro Television Reviews: Hitchhike! (dir by Gordon Hessler)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1974’s Hitchhike!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

Claire Stevens (Cloris Leachman) is an emotionally vulnerable woman who is dealing with her loneliness and depression by driving to San Francisco to visit her sister.  As she’s driving, she spots a young man named Keith (Michael Brandon).  Keith is standing on the side of the road and holding out his thumb.  At first, Claire does the smart thing and she drives by him without stopping.  However, Claire starts to feel guilty so she turns around and — NO, CLAIRE!  WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!? — offers him a ride.  It turns out that he’s going to San Francisco as well!

At first, the drive is awkward.  Keith says that he doesn’t want to talk and he doesn’t appreciate it when Claire tries to make him listen to the classical music station.  But, as they drive, Keith starts to let down his defenses.  He says that he wishes that he could just sail away on the ocean.  He encourages Claire to embrace life and to just go for it.  They stop at a pier and have lunch.  Claire buys Keith a silly white hat and she places it on his head because, as she puts it, “it’s cute.”  Keith argues with her but he doesn’t take off the hat.  However, when Keith spots some cops, he immediately leads Claire away from them.

The viewer watches all of this with a sense of dread because the viewer knows what Claire doesn’t.  The viewer knows that Keith is the son of a wealthy man.  The viewer knows that Keith had been having an affair with his stepmother, who was only a few years older than Keith.  And the viewer knows that Keith murdered his stepmother with the same weapon that he’s currently carrying in his bag.  The police are looking for Keith and Keith is willing to do just about anything to stay free.

I have to admit that I yelled a little when Claire offered Keith a ride because it was such an obviously stupid thing to do.  Everyone knows that it’s never a good idea to pick up a hitchhiker.  And, if you’re a woman who is driving down an isolated road by yourself, the last thing you should ever do is offer a ride to some strange man standing on the side of the road.  Claire’s actions were foolish but, because she was played by Cloris Leachman, it was still hard not to sympathize with her.  Claire is someone who feels as if she’s been abandoned by the world and, quite obviously, she sees Keith as a kindred spirit.  Over the course of their journey, it becomes obvious that Claire is using Keith as a substitute for what she’s missing in her life.  He becomes both a son and a companion to her.  Unfortunately, Keith tends to go into a rage whenever he sense anyone getting too close to him.

Hitchhike! is a short movie and, for all the dramatic build-up, it ends on a rather anti-climatic note.  Cameron Mitchell shows up as a detective who is looking for Claire and Keith and he gives a mannered performance that is oddly over-the-top by even his generous standards.  That said, Michael Brandon has the blandly handsome look of a generic but charming serial killer while Cloris Leachman gives a credible and sympathetic performance as Claire.  If nothing else, this film can be watched with The Hitcher as a double feature.  Never stop your car for anyone!

Holiday Film Review: It Happened One Christmas (dir by Donald Wyre)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1977 made-for-TV movie, It Happened One Christmas, opens in Heaven.  We hear the voice of Joseph (Charles Grodin), one of the top angels.  Joseph has noticed that, in the town of Bedford Falls, a lot of people seem to be praying and all of their prayers concern one person.  They are all worried about Mary Bailey Hatch (Marlo Thomas).

He requests that an angel be sent down to Earth to help Mary with her problems.  Unfortunately, the only angel available is Clara (Cloris Leachman) and Clara, despite her optimistic outlook and upbeat personality, is not considered to be a particularly smart angel.  She hasn’t even gotten her wings yet!  However, Joseph promises her that, should she convince Mary Hatch not to toss away her life on Christmas Eve, Clara will get her wings.

But first, Joseph shows Clara all of the important events in Mary’s life.  Clara watches as young Mary saves the life of her brother, Harry.  A few weeks later, Mary manages to keep Dr. Gower from accidentally poisoning a patient.  Though Mary dreams of leaving Bedford Falls and pursuing a career as a writer, she instead ends up taking over her late father’s old Building and Loan company.  With the help of her husband, George (Wayne Rogers), she helps hundreds of people move into affordable housing.  She is also one of the few people in town willing to stand up to Old Man Potter (Orson Welles)….

What was that?

Yeah, I know.  Just hold on.  I’m getting to that.

Anyway, everything is going great in Mary’s life until her irresponsible Uncle Willie (Barney Martin) accidentally loses a deposit on Christmas Eve.  Facing embezzlement charges and having yelled at her family, Mary considers jumping off a bridge.  Fortunately, Clara is there to show her what her life would be like if she had never been born….

Excuse me?  Did you say that this sounds familiar?

Yes, It Happened One Christmas is a remake of It’s A Wonderful Life.  The main difference is that the genders are swapped.  Jimmy Stewart’s role is played by Marlo Thomas.  Wayne Rogers plays the Donna Reed role.  This leads to a few changes in the story.  For instance, Mary still yells at ZuZu’s teacher but she doesn’t get sucker punched as a result.  Whereas the original Mr. Potter treated George Bailey with outright hostility, the remake’s Mr. Potter tends to use a tone of condescending concern when talking to Mary.  Since George Hatch doesn’t lose his hearing in one ear, he’s able to serve in World War II and he returns on crutches.  In the world where Mary was never born, George still never marries but, instead of working at the library, he becomes a boorish auto mechanic.  Violet is no longer an important character and Mary never tries to blame her visions of Pottersville on “bad liquor.”  These are cosmetic differences but, otherwise, it’s pretty much the exact same story.

To be honest, it probably sounds more interesting than it actually is.  It’s not that It Happened One Christmas is a poorly made or a badly acted film.  It’s fine, really!  But it’s not It’s A Wonderful Life.  Marlo Thomas plays her role with a lot of energy but she’s still no Jimmy Stewart.  Stewart, who was still dealing with his own World War II experiences, played up the haunting sadness behind George’s mild-mannered facade and that’s something that Thomas never accomplishes.  If Stewart’s George seems like he’s been beaten down by one lost dream after another, Marlo Thomas’s Mary just seems like she’s having a really bad night.  By that same token, Wayne Rogers is likable a the love of Mary’s life but he’s no Donna Reed.  Even the great Orson Welles can’t escape the shadow of Lionel Barrymore.  Barrymore’s Mr. Potter was a pure misanthrope who was at his happiest mocking the dead and approving men for the draft.  Oddly, Orson Welles brings an almost avuncular style to Mr. Potter.  One gets the feeling that Welles simply couldn’t resist winking at the audience and assuring them that he was still the bigger-than-life showman that they had grown up with.

So, you may be wondering ….. why remake It’s A Wonderful Life in the first place?  I was wondering about that so I did a little research and thanks to an obscure web site called Wikipedia (not many people have heard of it), I discovered that It Happened One Christmas was actually made before It’s A Wonderful Life started to regularly air during the holidays.  At the time it was made, it was aactually remake of a classic film that was no longer regularly watched.  Frank Capra angrily denounced It Happened One Christmas as being “plagarism” but, in 1977, it was enough of ratings success that it was re-aired in both 1978 and 1979.  But, by that time, It’s A Wonderful Life had started to regularly air during the holiday season and was being rediscovered by audiences young and old.  As a result, the okay remake was soon overshadowed by the vastly superior original.

And really, that’s the way it should be.  It Happened One Christmas isn’t a bad movie but it just no replacement for Capra’s Wonderful film.

Retro Television Review: Long Journey Back (dir by Mal Damski)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1978’s Long Journey Back.  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

I’m one of those drivers who always gets nervous around train tracks.

Perhaps it’s because I watched too many gory movies while I was learning to drive or maybe I’m just being overly cautious but I always have a fear that I’m going to be the driver whose car ends up getting stuck on the tracks while the train comes barreling down.  The fact that it’s apparently impossible to just stop a train without it rolling forward for at least a mile or two adds to my fear.  You get stuck on those tracks and, at the very least, you’re going to lose your car.  At the worst, you’ll lose your life.  Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll only lose a limb.  Or maybe …. well, you get the point.  Most people make it a point to slow down whenever they hear the sound of a train coming or to stop and wait for those little barrier things to come down on other side of the tracks.  Myself, I always speed up if I see tracks approaching.  I figure that the quicker I drive over them, the quicker I don’t have to worry about getting hit by a train.

The 1978 film Long Journey Back did not do much to cure me of my fear of train tracks.  Within the first ten minutes of the film, a school bus ended up getting stuck on a set of train tracks and, in a genuinely frightening sequence, smashed into by a train.  Most of the students are killed.  So is the driver.  Celia Casella (Stephanie Zimbalist) survives being in the bus but most of her friends don’t.  Celia loses a leg and, when she eventually awakes from her coma, she can neither speak nor remember the accident.  Celia makes remarkable progress but it’s still difficult for her to adjust her post-accident life.

The film spends as much time with Celia’s parents as it does with Celia.  Her mother, Laura (Cloris Leachman), keeps a journal about Celia’s progress and never gives up faith that her daughter will recover.  However, Laura is sometimes so determined to only focus on moving forward that she overlooks the fact that Celia needs time to mourn not only her former life but also the friends that she lost in the crash.  Meanwhile, Celia’s father, Vic (Mike Connors), is a grim realist who, in a moment of emotional exhaustion, admits that he sometimes wonders if Celia wouldn’t have been better off dying in the crash.  Vic is someone who keeps everyone grounded in reality but who sometimes forget that Celia needs to have hope for the future.  Celia is not the only member of the family who has to learn how to live a new life.  From the minute that train hits that bus, everyone’s old life ends and a new one begins.

The film follows Celia’s recovery, her long journey back.  It’s a well-done film, featuring excellent and emotional performances from Zimbalist, Connors, and especially Leachman.  To its credit, the film avoids easy sentiment.  The film celebrates Celia’s strength and her parent’s love while acknowledging that the journey back is not going to be an easy one and it’s possible that Celia might never make it all the way back.  I cried more than a few times while watching Long Journey Back.  It’s a film that earns its tears.

Scenes That I Love: Ruth and Sonny in The Last Picture Show (Cloris Leachman, RIP)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, it was announced that the actress Cloris Leachman had passed away at the age of 94.

Leachman had a long career.  I know that most people know her from her comedic work.  Indeed, when it was announced that she had passed, Twitter was full of people posting clips from Young Frankenstein, Raising Hope, and a host of other comedies.  However, Leachman was also just as a capable as a dramatic actress.  She began her career in 1947 and, though she worked regularly (and appeared in the noir classic, Kiss Me Deadly), her career really didn’t pick up until she won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in 1972.

She won that Oscar for playing Ruth Popper in The Last Picture Show.  Ruth is the lonely wife of a closeted high school coach in a small Texas town.  She has an affair with teenager Sonny Crawford (Timothy Bottoms), just for him to abandon her for the beautiful but self-absorbed Jacy Farrow (Cybil Shepherd).  At the end of the film, after realizing that Jacy actually has no interest in him, Sonny attempts to return to Ruth.  It’s a powerful scene, largely due to Leachman’s performance.

In memory of Cloris Leachman, here’s a scene that I love:

Horror On TV: One Step Beyond Episode 1.4 “The Dark Room” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond, Cloris Leachman plays Rita Wallace, an American photographer in France.  She’s looking for a model whose face will serve as the ultimate symbol of the country.  One day, a haunted-looking man (Marel Dalio) shows up at her apartment.  She thinks he’s a model.  The truth, needless to say, is something quite different….

This episode features good performances from both Leachman and Dalio.  In real life, Dalio was an icon of French cinema and a favorite of Jean Renoir’s.  When the Nazis invaded France, the Jewish Dalio fled Paris and, after a harrowing journey, eventually made it to America.  In America, he played the croupier in Casablanca and appeared in several other films.  Tragically, the rest of his family did not escape and were murdered by the Nazis.  Dalio returned to France after the end of the war and remained an in-demand character actor for several more decades, making his final film appearance in 1980.

The Darkroom originally aired on February 10th, 1959.

Horror on the Lens: Haunts of the Very Rich (dir by Paul Wendkos)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror on the lens is a 1972 made-for-TV movie, Haunts of the Very Rich!

What happens when a bunch of rich people find themselves on an airplane with no memory of how they got there?  Well, first off, they land at a luxury resort!  But what happens when the resort suddenly turns out to be deserted and the guests discover that there’s no apparent way out!?

You can probably already guess the film’s “surprise” ending but Haunts of the Very Rich is still an entertaining little film.  You can check out my more in-depth review here!

Enjoy!

Playing Catch-Up: Crisscross, The Dust Factory, Gambit, In The Arms of a Killer, Overboard, Shy People

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, this year I am making a sincere effort to review every film that I see.  I know I say that every year but this time, I really mean it.

So, in an effort to catch up, here are four quick reviews of some of the movies that I watched over the past few weeks!

  • Crisscross
  • Released: 1992
  • Directed by Chris Menges
  • Starring David Arnott, Goldie Hawn, Arliss Howard, Keith Carradine, James Gammon, Steve Buscemi

An annoying kid named Chris Cross (David Arnott) tells us the story of his life.

In the year 1969, Chris and his mother, Tracy (Goldie Hawn), are living in Key West.  While the rest of the country is excitedly watching the first moon landing, Chris and Tracy are just trying to figure out how to survive day-to-day.  Tracy tries to keep her son from learning that she’s working as a stripper but, not surprisingly, he eventually finds out.  Chris comes across some drugs that are being smuggled into Florida and, wanting to help his mother, he decides to steal them and sell them himself.  Complicating matters is the fact that the members of the drug ring (one of whom is played by Steve Buscemi) don’t want the competition.  As well, Tracy is now dating Joe (Arliss Howard), who just happens to be an undercover cop.  And, finally, making things even more difficult is the fact that Chris just isn’t that smart.

There are actually a lot of good things to be said about Crisscross.  The film was directed by the renowned cinematographer, Chris Menges, so it looks great.  Both Arliss Howard and Goldie Hawn give sympathetic performances and Keith Carradine has a great cameo as Chris’s spaced out dad.  (Traumatized by his experiences in Vietnam, Chris’s Dad left his family and joined a commune.)  But, as a character, Chris is almost too stupid to be believed and his overwrought narration doesn’t do the story any good.  Directed and written with perhaps a less heavy hand, Crisscross could have been a really good movie but, as it is, it’s merely an interesting misfire.

  • The Dust Factory 
  • Released: 2004
  • Directed by Eric Small
  • Starring Armin Mueller-Stahl, Hayden Panettiere, Ryan Kelly, Kim Myers, George de la Pena, Michael Angarano, Peter Horton

Ryan (Ryan Kelly) is a teen who stopped speaking after his father died.  One day, Ryan falls off a bridge and promptly drowns.  However, he’s not quite dead yet!  Instead, he’s in The Dust Factory, which is apparently where you go when you’re on the verge of death.  It’s a very nice place to hang out while deciding whether you want to leap into the world of the dead or return to the land of the living.  Giving Ryan a tour of the Dust Factory is his grandfather (Armin Mueller-Stahl).  Suggesting that maybe Ryan should just stay in the Dust Factory forever is a girl named Melanie (Hayden Panettiere).  Showing up randomly and acting like a jerk is a character known as The Ringmaster (George De La Pena).  Will Ryan choose death or will he return with a new zest for living life?  And, even more importantly, will the fact that Ryan’s an unlikely hockey fan somehow play into the film’s climax?

The Dust Factory is the type of unabashedly sentimental and theologically confused film that just drives me crazy.  This is one of those films that so indulges every possible cliché that I was shocked to discover that it wasn’t based on some obscure YA tome.  I’m sure there’s some people who cry while watching this film but ultimately, it’s about as deep as Facebook meme.

  • Gambit
  • Released: 2012
  • Directed by Michael Hoffman
  • Starring Colin Firth, Cameron Diaz, Alan Rickman, Tom Courtenay, Stanley Tucci, Cloris Leachman, Togo Igawa

Harry Deane (Colin Firth) is beleaguered art collector who, for the sake of petty revenge (which, as we all know, is the best type of revenge), tries to trick the snobbish Lord Shabandar (Alan Rickman) into spending a lot of money on a fake Monet.  To do this, he will have to team up with both an eccentric art forger (Tom Courtenay) and a Texas rodeo star named PJ Puznowksi (Cameron Diaz).  The plan is to claim that PJ inherited the fake Monet from her grandfather who received the painting from Hermann Goering at the end of the World War II and…

Well, listen, let’s stop talking about the plot.  This is one of those elaborate heist films where everyone has a silly name and an elaborate back story.  It’s also one of those films where everything is overly complicated but not particularly clever.  The script was written by the Coen Brothers and, if they had directed it, they would have at least brought some visual flair to the proceedings.  Instead, the film was directed by Michael Hoffman and, for the most part, it falls flat.  The film is watchable because of the cast but ultimately, it’s not surprising that Gambit never received a theatrical release in the States.

On a personal note, I saw Gambit while Jeff & I were in London last month.  So, I’ll always have good memories of watching the movie.  So I guess the best way to watch Gambit is when you’re on vacation.

  • In The Arms of a Killer
  • Released: 1992
  • Directed by Robert L. Collins
  • Starring Jaclyn Smith, John Spencer, Nina Foch, Gerald S. O’Loughlin, Sandahl Bergman, Linda Dona, Kristoffer Tabori, Michael Nouri

This is the story of two homicide detectives.  Detective Vincent Cusack (John Spencer) is tough and cynical and world-weary.  Detective Maria Quinn (Jaclyn Smith) is dedicated and still naive about how messy a murder investigation can be when it involves a bunch of Manhattan socialites.  A reputed drug dealer is found dead during a party.  Apparently, someone intentionally gave him an overdose of heroin.  Detective Cusack thinks that the culprit was Dr. Brian Venible (Michael Nouri).  Detective Quinn thinks that there has to be some other solution.  Complicating things is that Quinn and Venible are … you guessed it … lovers!  Is Quinn truly allowing herself to be held in the arms of a killer or is the murderer someone else?

This sound like it should have been a fun movie but instead, it’s all a bit dull.  Nouri and Smith have next to no chemistry so you never really care whether the doctor is the killer or not.  John Spencer was one of those actors who was pretty much born to play world-weary detectives but, other than his performance, this is pretty forgettable movie.

  • Overboard
  • Released: 1987
  • Directed by Garry Marshall
  • Starring Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Edward Herrmann, Katherine Helmond, Roddy McDowall, Michael G. Hagerty, Brian Price, Jared Rushton, Hector Elizondo

When a spoiled heiress named Joanne Slayton (Goldie Hawn) falls off of her luxury yacht, no one seems to care.  Even when her husband, Grant (Edward Herrmann), discovers that Joanne was rescued by a garbage boat and that she now has amnesia, he denies knowing who she is.  Instead, he takes off with the boat and proceeds to have a good time.  The servants (led by Roddy McDowall) who Joanne spent years terrorizing are happy to be away from her.  In fact, the only person who does care about Joanne is Dean Proffitt (Kurt Russell).  When Dean sees a news report about a woman suffering from amnesia, he heads over to the hospital and declares that Joanne is his wife, Annie.

Convinced that she is Annie, Joanne returns with Dean to his messy house and his four, unruly sons.  At first, Dean says that his plan is merely to have Joanne work off some money that she owes him.  (Before getting amnesia, Joanne refused to pay Dean for some work he did on her boat.)  But soon, Joanne bonds with Dean’s children and she and Dean start to fall in love.  However, as both Grant and Dean are about to learn, neither parties nor deception can go on forever…

This is one of those films that’s pretty much saved by movie star charisma.  The plot itself is extremely problematic and just about everything that Kurt Russell does in this movie would land him in prison in real life.  However, Russell and Goldie Hawn are such a likable couple that the film come close to overcoming its rather creepy premise.  Both Russell and Hawn radiate so much charm in this movie that they can make even the stalest of jokes tolerable and it’s always enjoyable to watch Roddy McDowall get snarky.  File this one under “Kurt Russell Can Get Away With Almost Anything.”

A remake of Overboard, with the genders swapped, is set to be released in early May.

  • Shy People
  • Released: 1987
  • Directed by Andrei Konchalovsky
  • Starring Jill Clayburgh, Barbara Hershey, Martha Plimpton, Merritt Butrick, John Philbin, Don Swayze, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Mare Winningham

Diana Sullivan (Jill Clayburgh) is a writer for Cosmopolitan and she’s got a problem!  It turns out that her teenager daughter, Grace (Martha Plimpton), is skipping school and snorting cocaine!  OH MY GOD!  (And, to think, I thought I was a rebel just because I used to skip Algebra so I could go down to Target and shoplift eyeliner!)  Diana knows that she has to do something but what!?

Diana’s solution is to get Grace out of New York.  It turns out that Diana has got some distant relatives living in Louisiana bayou.  After Cosmo commissions her to write a story about them, Diana grabs Grace and the head down south!

(Because if there’s anything that the readers of Cosmo are going to be interested in, it’s white trash bayou dwellers…)

The only problem is that Ruth (Barbara Hershey) doesn’t want to be interviewed and she’s not particularly happy when Diana and Grace show up.  Ruth and her four sons live in the bayous.  Three of the sons do whatever Ruth tells them to do.  The fourth son is often disobedient so he’s been locked up in a barn.  Diana, of course, cannot understand why her relatives aren’t impressed whenever she mentions that she writes for Cosmo.  Meanwhile, Grace introduces her cousins to cocaine, which causes them to go crazy.  “She’s got some strange white powder!” one of them declares.

So, this is a weird film.  On the one hand, you have an immensely talented actress like Jill Clayburgh giving one of the worst performances in cinematic history.  (In Clayburgh’s defense, Diana is such a poorly written character that I doubt any actress could have made her in any way believable.)  On the other hand, you have Barbara Hershey giving one of the best.  As played by Hershey, Ruth is a character who viewers will both fear and admire.  Ruth has both the inner strength to survive in the bayou and the type of unsentimental personality that lets you know that you don’t want to cross her.  I think we’re supposed to feel that both Diana and Ruth have much to learn from each other but Diana is such an annoying character that you spend most of the movie wishing she would just go away and leave Ruth alone.  In the thankless role of Grace, Martha Plimpton brings more depth to the role than was probably present in the script and Don Swayze has a few memorable moments as one of Ruth’s sons.  Shy People is full of flaws and never really works as a drama but I’d still recommend watching it for Hershey and Plimpton.