Hi there! If you’re a mom, Happy Mother’s Day. And if you’re not, you better go do something nice for your mom or else run the risk of being given back to the gypsies that she got you from. (Incidentally, there’s no shame in being a gypsy adoptee. According to my sisters, I was left in the backyard by a wandering gypsy band and just look at me now…)
I’ve featured this trailer before but I figured that since it’s Mother’s Day…
2) The Bloody Brood (1959)
Yes, this is the same Bloody Brood that I reviewed on this website a few days ago.
3) Operation Kid Brother (1967)
Come October, we’re going to be reviewing every single James Bond film ever made here at the Shattered Lens. Until then, why not enjoy this trailer featuring Sean Connery’s kid brother Neil?
4) Lightning Bolt (1966)
Much like Operation Kid Brother, this appears to be another Italian attempt to make a Bond-style film. Apparently, Neil Connery is not featured in this one.
5) Avenging Angel (1985)
Awwww…this movie was released the year I was born. 🙂
And finally, let’s close things out with a film that’s become such a classic and is so influential that film snobs tend to forget that it’s essentially a very well-made grindhouse film…
On the last day of each month, we ask you which films you’re most looking forward to seeing in the months ahead. According to our last poll, for most of you, the month of May will be all about seeing The Avengers and Moonrise Kingdom. Thank you to everyone who voted.
So, which films are you most excited about seeing in June? As usual, you can vote for up to four films.
Over the previous two weeks, I reviewed all 11 films in the Friday the 13th franchise. I reviewed the final film, appropriately enough, on Friday the 13th. Now that I’ve sat through all 11 of these films, I’d like to provide just ten thoughts in conclusion:
1) Have you seen Cabin In The Woods yet? While that brilliant film is obviously influenced by a lot of films, the Friday the 13th influence was especially obvious, right down to the crazy old man trying to let everyone know that they were doomed.
2) As for the Friday the 13th franchise itself, what is left to be said? I think my interest in these films comes from the fact that even though their critically reviled and utterly dismissed by many, they’ve managed to survive and they’re still being watched by viewers (like me) who weren’t even born and/or weren’t old enough to see the majority of them when they were first released in theaters. Like it or not — and again, this is a point that should be obvious to anyone who truly appreciated Cabin In The Woods — these films appeal to something primal in human nature.
3) The most frequent complaint made against the Friday the 13th franchise is that the films are anti-female. I don’t agree. I think that, unfortunately, a lot of people who watch these films are anti-female but I don’t think that the same can be said of the films themselves. Quite frankly, if I was ever cast in Friday the 13th, I would rather play a victim than a survivor because the victims are the ones that are remembered afterwards.
4) Instead of seeing the Friday the 13th films as some sort of attempt to punish women, I see them as simply being updated bits of American folklore. Those famous urban legends — the escaped mental patient with the hook hand, the vanishing hitchhiker — are about as close as America can get to having its own mythology and the Friday the 13th franchise (and similar horror films) are a reflection of that mythology.
5) Much like the scary story told at slumber party or around a campfire (not that I’ve been near a campfire though I have been to a few thousand slumber parties), Friday the 13th is meant to be a communal experience. It’s a chance to admit that we’re all scared of the dark. We scream and jump because, ultimately, it’s fun to do that in the safety of a theater or your own home.
6) Friday the 13th, as a franchise, was at its best when it kept things simple. As you may have noticed from my reviews, I struggled more with the gimmicky later films in the series than I did with the originals.
7) The first two Friday the 13th scenes are both excellent examples of how to use a low budget and a largely unknown cast to your best advantage. There is a lesson there for all aspiring filmmakers.
8) Having now rewatched the 11 films in the franchise, I have to say that I think that Part 4 is the best, followed by Part 2. Part 3 remains the worst while Jason Takes Manhattan is perhaps the most pointless. Ted White was the best Jason but Kane Hodder is a close second.
9) When I was reviewing these films, Peter M. Bracke’s book Crystal Lake Memoriesproved to be an invaluable resource. I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in film, horror, or both.
10) Finally, did you all enjoy me devoting two weeks to reviewing one film franchise or were you thinking to yourself, “Oh my God, Lisa, give it a rest already!” I enjoyed writing them but, to be honest, I’m really in the mood for a romantic comedy now.
Well, that does it for Friday the 13th. Again, I hope everyone enjoyed revisiting this franchise with me and I hope that everyone will enjoy revisiting the James Bond films with me in October. As always, stay supple!
After spending two weeks researching the career of Jason Voorhees, I am in the mood for some movies that feature absolutely no one getting brutally murdered. That’s why this edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers is dedicated to some of the most light-weight comedies ever made.
(Yes, I realize that these films aren’t exactly grindhouse films but they’re close enough.)
1) Making the Grade (1984)
This trailer almost feels like a parody, doesn’t it? In fact, it very well could be. Has anyone ever actually seen this Making the Grade movie?
2) White Water Summer (1987)
This is a weird movie that, for some reason, tends to pop up on TV every few months or so. Kevin Bacon is a nature guide who appears to be sociopath and Sean Astin is the kid that he bullies nonstop. Eventually, Bacon breaks his leg and Astin saves his life or something like that. The whole movie just has a really weird feel to it.
3) Private Lessons (1981)
These next three trailers form a trilogy of sorts. We start off with Private Lessons, which — let’s be honest — is a pretty creepy trailer.
4) Private School (1983)
The 2nd part of the private trilogy was directed by Noel Black who also directed one of the best films of the 60s, Pretty Poison.
5) Private Resort (1985)
And then we come to this…Private Resort. Much like White Water Summer, Private Resort used to always show up on Sunday afternoon TV and I’ve never really understood why. That said, I watched it a few times because I’ll watch Johnny Depp in anything.
6) Fraternity Vacation (1985)
And finally, let’s wrap things up with Fraternity Vacation, starring future Oscar winner Tim Robbins.
It was nearly four in the morning and I couldn’t sleep. So, I turned on the TV, checked the guide, and I saw that something called The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer was about to start on the Fox Movie Channel. Pushing the info button on my remote control, revealed only that the film was made in 1974 and that “No cast information is available.” Well, after seeing that, how couldn’t I have curled up on the couch and watched?
What Was It About?
Clifford Swimmer (Peter Haskell) is perhaps the least likable human being ever. He’s an angry alcoholic who abuses his wife (Sheree North) and son (Lance Kerwin) and who has somehow managed to get into debt to the local loan shark (played by William Bassett, who is better known for playing the Sheriff in House of a 1,000 Corpses and doing the voice overs for those annoying Whataburger commercials). Clifford hates his life and dreams of running off with his mistress and living on a boat. If only he were free of his “responsibilities…”
Fortunately, he just happens to know the local mad scientist (Keene Curtis) who clones Clifford, using cells taken from Clifford’s tongue. Once the clone takes his place at home and word, Clifford runs off with his mistress. Fortunately, the Clone turns out to be the nicest, most gentle guy in the world and both his wife and son are overjoyed at the sudden change in personality that appear to have occurred within “Clifford.” The real Clifford Swimmer, however, soon becomes disillusioned with life on a boat and decides to return to his old life. Unfortunately, his old life doesn’t really want him back. It all leads to violence, several murders, and a surprise twist at the end.
What Worked?
I was surprised by how much I enjoyed The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer. Smartly written (and as melodramatic as any film called The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer should have been), this was a surprisingly thought-provoking little film and the “surprise” ending was executed very well and even came close to bringing tears to my sleep-deprived eyes.
Considering the film’s origins (which are discussed down below), this was a surprisingly well-acted film that is dominated by an excellent performance from Peter Haskell as Clifford Swimmer and this clone. After I watched the film, I checked with imdb and I discovered that Peter Haskell (who passed away in 2010) was apparently a pretty busy television actor and he definitely had the looks of someone you would expect to find playing a doctor in a soap opera. On the basis of his performance here, he was also apparently a pretty versatile actor.
What Did Not Work?
According to imdb, The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer was originally an episode of something called The Wide World Of Mystery which used to air on ABC back in the 70s. However, even if I hadn’t done that bit of research, the film was obviously made for television. By that, I mean that it has the flat, stagey look of a three camera sitcom. As well, the fact that every climatic scene fades to black (for a commercial break) definitely disrupts the rhythm of the show.
That said, I have to also say that — last night at least — these “flaws” actually added to the film’s charm.
“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments
If I were ever the type to be a home wrecker, I hope I’d be as stylish a one as Clifford’s mistress, Madeline Rivera (played by Sharon Farrell, who is also in one of my favorite movies of all time, Out of the Blue). Seriously, her clothes were to die for. That said, I would also hope that I would have better taste in men.
Lessons Learned
Sometimes, it’s not a bad idea to just stay up late and just watch whatever happens to come on.
So, last week, our newest contributor here at the Shattered Lens, The Trash Film Guru, posted his wonderful review of Herschell Gordon Lewis’s The Gruesome Twosome. Reading that review got me thinking about the unique cinematic vision of Mr. Lewis. Though I’ll be reviewing Scum of the Earth and Something Weird later on this week, I would like to first share with you one of my favorite scenes from the work of Herschell Gordon Lewis.
Below, in all it’s glory, is the famous Egyptian feast conversation from Lewis’s 1963 epic, Blood Feast. The caterer here is played by Mal Arnold, who appeared in several of Lewis’s films.
Hi there and welcome to another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers! Today, we bring you 6 trailers specifically made to appeal to audiences made up of hard men and the women who have to put up with them.
1) Phantom Soldiers (1988)
Let’s start things off with this trailer from the Philippines. I never thought I’d see a trailer as violent as the trailer for Massacre Mafia Style but then I came across this one for Phantom Soldiers. “You’re a hard man…but the answer is no.”
2) Megaforce (1982)
This appears to be the family friendly version of Phantom Soldiers. I always love how these trailers for obviously terrible movies always claim to be bringing “the greatest spectacle ever” to audiences. Myself, I want to find and slap whoever thought it was a good idea for the bearded guy to wear a powder blue headband while talking about how the good guys always win “…even in the 80s!”
3) The Junkman (1982)
I guess if families weren’t watching the bearded man in the skin-tight outfit and the blindingly blue headband, they were witnessing the “chase thriller for the 80s…JUNKMAN!”
4) Terror in the Midnight Sun (1959)
I’ve never seen this film nor had I ever heard of it until I came across this trailer on YouTube. But I think that our readers who happen to be creature movie fans will enjoy this one.
5) The One-Armed Executioner (1983)
All this exposure to grindhouse and exploitation films must be getting to me because I kept expecting someone to go, “That’s not my arm, baby,” as I watched this trailer. Agck!
6) She-Devils On Wheels (1968)
After all that, it’s time for some girl power, don’t you think? From director Herschell Gordon Lewis, who also directed the Gruesome Twosome. “This picture is not for children…”
So, last week at this time, I asked you which movie I should watch on March 20th. I gave you twelve possible movies and I asked you to vote. 678 votes were cast and, despite strong showings by An Education, Crazy/Beautiful, and Nightmare City, the winner is Valley of the Dolls!
And for that, I thank you. As some of you may know, my dream is to someday play Neely O’Hara in a remake directed by our own Arleigh Sandoc.
I will be watching Valley of the Dolls tonight. Look for my review of it either on Wednesday or Thursday.
Well, here’s your chance to, once again, tell me what to do. I’ve randomly selected 12 films from my film collection. Whichever film gets the most votes will be watched and reviewed by me next Tuesday, March 20th.
Here are the films up for consideration:
1) Black Jesus (1968) — This Italian film stars Woody Strode as an African rebel leader who is captured by his country’s right-wing, American-backed dictatorship.
2) Capote (2005) — Philip Seymour Hoffman was an Oscar for best actor for playing writer Truman Capote in this film that details how Capote came to write his true crime classic, In Cold Blood. This film was also nominated for best picture.
3) Chappaqua (1966) — In this underground cult classic, drug addict Conrad Rooks seeks treatment in Switzerland while being haunted by a scornful William S. Burroughs. This film features cameo from Allen Ginsberg, The Fugs, and just about every other cult figure from 1966.
4) Crazy/Beautiful (2001) — Jay Fernandez and Kirsten Dunst have lots and lots of sex. This was like one of my favorite movies to catch on cable back when I was in high school. 🙂
5) An Education (2008) — In my favorite movie from 2008, Carey Mulligan is a schoolgirl in 1960s England who has a secret affair with an older man (played by Peter Sarsgaard), who has plenty of secrets of his own. Co-starring Rosamund Pike, Emma Thompson, Alfred Molina, and Dominic Cooper (who is to die for, seriously).
6) Female Vampire (1973) — In this atmospheric and ennui-filled film from the infamous Jesus Franco, a female vampire spends the whole movie wandering around naked and dealing with the lost souls who want to join the ranks of the undead.
7) Nightmare City (1980) — In this gory and fast-paced film from Umberto Lenzi, an accident at a nuclear plant leads to a bunch of blood-thirsty zombies rampaging through both the city and the countryside. Hugo Stiglitz plays Dean Miller, zombie exterminator! Nightmare City is probably most remembered for introducing the concept of the fast zombie and for serving as an obvious inspiration for Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later.
8) The Other Side of Midnight (1977) — Based on a best-selling novel, The Other Side of Midnight tells the story of a poor French girl who becomes a world-famous actress and who ends up sleeping with apparently every wealthy man in the world. Meanwhile, the man she loves ends up marrying Susan Sarandon. Eventually, it all ends with both a hurricane and a murder. Apparently, this film cost a lot of money to make and it was a notorious box office bomb. It looks kinda fun to me.
9) Peyton Place (1957) — Also based on a best-selling novel, Peyton Place is about love, sex, and scandal in a small town. Lana Turner is a repressed woman with a past who struggles to keep her daughter from making the same mistakes. At the time it was made, it was considered to be quite racy and it was even nominated for best picture. This film is a personal favorite of mine and it’s pretty much set the template for every single film ever shown on Lifetime.
10) Rosebud (1975) — From director Otto Preminger comes this film about what happens when a bunch of rich girls on a yacht are taken hostage by Islamic extremists. The film’s diverse cast includes Peter O’Toole, Richard Attenborough, Cliff Gorman, former New York Mayor John Lindsay, former Kennedy in-law Peter Lawford, Raf Vallone, Adrienne Corri, Lalla Ward, Isabelle Huppert, and Kim Cattrall.
11) Valley of the Dolls (1967) — Oh my God, I love this movie so much! Three aspiring actresses move to the big city and soon become hooked on pills and bad relationship decisions. Every time I watch this movie, I spend hours yelling, “I’m Neely O’Hara, bitch!” at the top of my lungs.
12) Zombie Lake (1981) — From my favorite French director, Jean Rollin, comes this extremely low budget film about a bunch of Nazi zombies who keep coming out of the lake and attacking the nearby village. Some people claim that this is the worst zombie films ever made. I disagree.
Please vote below for as many or as few of these films as you want to. The poll will remain open until March 20th and whichever film gets the most votes will be watched and reviewed by me.
