Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.2 “The Inmates Buy The Asylum”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

The center cannot hold.

Episode 5.2 “The Inmates Buy The Asylum”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 12th, 1988)

If there’s one thing that you can depend on when it comes to this show, it’s inconsistency.

Last week, the players decided to buy the team.  This was portrayed as being a genius move on their part.  Dr. Death dressed up in a suit and said that he was ready to be a businessman as well as a player.  TD Parker (OJ Simpson) told the players that it would be a good idea to take a blade to the typical player/owner relationship.

This week, the players buy the team and everything starts to fall apart.  Suddenly, the players are all too concerned with their own petty issues to be smart businessmen.  Dr. Death is no longer wearing a suit and shows up for a meeting of all the team owners in a denim jacket.  (All of the owners except for one walk out on him.)  The team decides to fire Coach Grier.  Why?  They just don’t like him.  T.D. delivers the news to an embittered Grier and admits that the players are not good owners.  Gee, TD, maybe you shouldn’t have told them to buy the team!

In other words, the players have seized the means of production and screwed everything up.  If nothing else, this episode was a good example of why communism will never work.

Meanwhile, agent Max Green was still in Louisiana, trying to sign college linebacker Sonny Clowers (Gary Kasper).  Fortunately, a chance meeting with the preacher of Sonny’s church gave Max an inside track.  But with the Bulls be able to get it together in time to draft him?

I guess we will find out next week.  As for this episode, it felt as if the writers suddenly realized that it was a mistake to have the players buy the team so they set out to course correct at the last minute.  Myself, I’m wondering how being both a player and an owner would work.  Who sets the salaries?  If a player is traded, is he still an owner?

Seriously, this all seems like a bad idea.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.9 “The Brink of Death”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, OJ has some wisdom to share.

Episode 3.8 “The Brink of Death”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on November 4th, 1987)

There’s a lot happening in this week’s episode.

For instance, Bubba and Jethro now own the bar where all of the Bulls hang out.  To be honest, I thought they always owned the bar but apparently, they didn’t.  As I’ve said a few times in the past, the way these episodes were edited for syndication occasionally makes it a bit difficult to actually follow the storyline.

Wide receiver Billy Cooper (Michael Toland) was kidnapped by Stuart (Richard Tanner), the nerdy guy whose girlfriend Billy stole.  Stuart wrapped up Billy in a straight jacket, forced him to wear a “Dumb Jock” label on his forehead, and then filmed him screaming in fear of a bunch of fire ants.  Billy’s girlfriend dumped him because Stuart was “more interesting.”

But the main plotline dealt with Dr. Death, the defensive player who was played by Donald Gibbs.  While playing against Oakland, many of the Bulls were tackled by Joe “The Terminator” Morgan (Andre Newman), a notoriously dirty player.  Dr. Death decided to get revenge by tackling Joe Morgan during a kick return, even though Joe had signaled for something called a fair catch.  (I guess that meant that no one was supposed to touch Joe.)  Joe Morgan ended up in the hospital.  The owner of the Oakland team pressured Joe to press assault charges against Dr. Death, who was already feeling guilty about injuring Joe as severely as he did.

It was up to O.J. Simpson to talk some sense into Joe Morgan.  O.J. went to the hospital and told Joe that football was all about getting injured.  O.J. asked Joe if this was the way he wanted to go out.

By appealing to Joe’s desire to be remembered as a killer football player, OJ is able to convince Joe to drop the charges.

(I should mention that OJ himself was an early contender for the role of the actual Terminator.)

O.J. Simpsons saved the day again!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.23 “Nightengale”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, someone is performing emergency surgery on the street!

Episode 3.23 “Nightengale”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on March 23rd, 1980)

Something strange is happening in Los Angeles.  Every time there’s a serious accident, a middle-aged woman (Louise Latham) appears and provides medical help to the injured.  At the start of the episode, she even performs an emergency tracheotomy on the side of the freeway.  Whenever the highway patrol officer on the scene asks her for her name, she avoids the question.  And, whenever an ambulance shows up, she always manages to slip away.  As Jon and Ponch discover, the woman is named Lucy Kenton and, even though she’s a medical expert, she’s not a doctor.  With the help of the always-understanding Sgt. Getraer, Jon and Ponch help her to get her medical license so that she can legally perform surgery on the street.  Good for them!

This was a bit of an odd episode.  It seemed strange that the woman somehow always seemed to be around whenever there was an accident.  A car would crash and suddenly, Lucy would come running up, almost as if she had been patiently waiting.  The show acted as if it was just a coincidence but what are the chances that the same woman would be present at the sites of multiple accidents over the course of just a few days?  And what are the chances that Ponch would just happen to be the responding officer at two of those accidents?

To be honest, that’s one of the things that always struck me as being strange about CHiPs.  Somehow, the same people keep running into Ponch and Jon over and over again.  I mean, Los Angeles is a big city and it’s home to a lot of people.  But if you run into Ponch and Jon once, it seems you’re destined to keep seeing them for at least a week.  Once they get that first speeding ticket or stern warning, people literally can’t step outside of their house without Ponch and Jon just happening to be somewhere nearby.  That’s the sort of thing that would make me paranoid.

The B-plot of this episode featured a teenage couple whose van kept breaking down whenever they tried to run away from home.  There wasn’t much to this story but it did feature “special guest star” Dana Plato as the younger sister of the female half of the couple.  Plato delivered all her lines as if she was auditioning for a school play.  Oddly enough, Dana Plato appeared at the start of this season as herself.  She was one of the many celebrities to show up for the roller disco episode.

There really wasn’t much to this episode.  It wasn’t terrible but it did feel somewhat insubstantial.  We’re coming up on the end of the season and, from the last few episodes, I get the feeling the show’s writers just wanted to wrap things up and start their vacations.  I don’t blame them!

Next week, the third season concludes!