Toshiro Mifune is one of the all time great actors in the history of world cinema, and he’s also one of my personal favorites. Charles Bronson may sit alone at the top of Mt. Bradmore, but there’s a tier of actors just below him who I also obsess over. That tier includes people like Chow Yun-Fat, Clint Eastwood, Lau Ching-Wan, Roy Scheider, James Woods, Rutger Hauer, John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart and Toshiro Mifune. I have read voluminous books about Mifune, and I’ve collected so many of his Japanese films. His work with Kurosawa is amazing, but he’s also done impressive work with other great Japanese directors like Kihachi Okamoto, Masaki Kobayashi, and Hiroshi Inagaki.
It makes me so happy that Charles Bronson and Toshiro Mifune had the opportunity to make the enjoyable East meets Western, RED SUN, together. Although Mifune had more range than Bronson as an actor, they both had such a magnificent screen presence. And the one time they worked together, Bronson actually had the more showy role. Watching Bronson underplay his scalawag cowboy against the honorable samurai played by Mifune is a true delight to any person who appreciates macho cinema. Henry Brooks really hones in on their macho personas in his song “Toshiro and I” from his new musical, CHARLES BRONSON – More Than a Vigilante – THE MUSICAL. It’s my favorite song in the entire musical, and I’m glad to be able to share it on the legendary Toshiro Mifune’s 105th birthday! Enjoy!
Seriously, whenever you watch any of the movies that Leigh made early in her career, your heart just goes out for. She was always either getting stalked or getting abused or getting lost or struggling through a pregnancy scare. In Fast Times At Ridgemont High, she actually did get pregnant and had to go to the abortion clinic on her own after Mike Damone failed to keep his promise to be there for her. It doesn’t get quite as bad as that for her in 1981’s I Think I’m Having A Baby but she still has to put up with a lot.
In I Think I’m Having A Baby, Jennifer Jason Leigh plays 15 year-old Laurie, who is not only socially awkward but also has the worst haircut that has even been inflected on an otherwise attractive person. Laurie idolizes her older cousin, Phoebe (Helen Hunt). Phoebe is dating a lunkhead jock named Peter (Shawn Stevens). Phoebe does Peter’s homework for him and Peter complains that Phoebe won’t go beyond some mild making out in his car. That’s the kind of relationship that they have. On the night of his birthday, Peter and Phoebe have an argument at the outdoor party that Phoebe went out of her way to set up. Peter drives off in his car, little realizing that the shy Laurie is hiding in the backseat. When Peter notices Laurie there, he pulls over and starts talking about how difficult (cue a massive eye roll from me) his life is. By the end of the night, Peter has revealed himself to be a whiny jerk and Laurie is no longer a virgin.
Soon afterwards, Laurie starts to feel ill. Her nerdy best friend, Marsha (Samantha Paris), thinks that Laurie might have the flu. Laurie, however, fears that it’s definitely not the flu. When Laurie tells Peter that she thinks she might be pregnant, Peter freaks out. He tells her to take care of it and makes it clear that he has no interest in being a father. Marsha says that she can’t understand why anyone would want to have a baby. She announces that she’s never going to have one. Instead, she’ll just adopt a dog. That really doesn’t help out Laurie, though. Eventually, Marsha and Laurie head to the clinic to discover whether or not Laurie is actually pregnant.
Meanwhile, Laurie’s little sister, Carrie (Tracey Gold), makes the mistake of letting her pet rabbits all socialize with each other. Carrie learns a lesson about the importance of keeping a safety barrier between male and female rabbits. At school, the students smirk as Mr. Fenning (David Birney) ties to teach a sexual education class. One of the students is played by future Breakfast Club member Ally Sheedy, making her television acting debut by uttering a handful of lines. The ultimate message is that no one knows anything and all of the education that they’ve gotten so far has been inadequate.
It’s pretty heavy-handed and some of the acting is a bit less than award-worthy. (Samantha Paris shouts nearly every line that she has.) But Jennifer Jason Leigh gives a good performance as Laurie, perfectly capturing not only Laurie’s fear of being pregnant but also the sadness that comes from being painfully shy. Your heart breaks for her when you watch this film. If nothing else, hopefully Laurie realizes, by the time the end credits roll, that she can do far better than Peter. For that matter, so can Phoebe. While everyone has a bright future ahead of them, Peter is destined to spend the rest of his life wondering why he peaked at 17.
The year is 1937 and “Big Boy” Caprice (Al Pacino) and his gang of flamboyant and often disfigured criminals are trying to take over the rackets. Standing in their way is ace detective Dick Tracy (Warren Beatty), the yellow trench-wearing defender of the law. Tracy is not only looking to take down Caprice but he and Tess Trueheart (Glenne Headly) are currently the guardians of The Kid (Charlie Korsmo), a young street kid who witnessed one of Caprice’s worst crimes. Tracy’s investigation leads him through a rogue’s gallery of criminals and also involves Breathless Mahoney (Madonna), who has witnessed many of Caprice’s crimes but who also wants to steal Tracy’s heart from Tess.
Based on the long-running comic strip, Dick Tracy was a labor of love on the part of Warren Beatty. Not only starring but also directing, Tracy made a film that stayed true to the look and the feel of the original comic strip (the film’s visual palette was limited to just seven colors) while also including an all-star cast the featured Madonna is an attempt to appeal to a younger audience who had probably never even heard of Dick Tracy. When Dick Tracy was released, the majority of the publicity centered around Madonna’s participation in the film and the fact that she was dating Beatty at the time. Madonna is actually probably the weakest element of the film. More of a personality than an actress, Madonna is always Madonna no matter who she is playing and, in a film full of famous actors managing to be convincing as the members of Dick Tracy’s rogue gallery, Madonna feels out of place. Michelle Pfeiffer would have been the ideal Breathless Mahoney.
It doesn’t matter, though, because the rest of the film is great. It’s one of the few comic book films of the 90s to really hold up, mostly due to Beatty’s obvious enthusiasm for the material and the performances of everyone in the supporting cast who was not named Madonna. Al Pacino received an Oscar nomination for playing Big Boy Caprice but equally good are Dustin Hoffman as Mumbles, William Forsythe as Flaptop, R.G. Armstong as Pruneface, and Henry Silva as Influence. These actors all create memorable characters, even while acting under a ton of very convincing makeup. I also liked Dick Van Dyke as the corrupt District Attorney. Beatty knew audience would be shocked to see Van Dyke not playing a hero and both he and Van Dyke play it up for all its worth. Beatty embraces the comic strip’s campiness while still remaining respectful to its style and the combination of Danny Elfman’s music and Stephen Sondheim’s songs provide just the right score for Dick Tracy’s adventures. The film can be surprisingly violent at times but the same was often said about the Dick Tracy comic strip. It wasn’t two-way wrist radios and trips to the Moon. Dick Tracy also dealt with the most ruthless and bloodthirsty gangsters his city had to offer.
Dick Tracy was considered to be a box office disappointment when it was originally released. (Again, you have to wonder if Beatty overestimated how many fans Dick Tracy had in 1990.) But it holds up well and is still more entertaining than several of the more recent comic book movies that have been released.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
And now, it’s time for …. wait? What? *sigh* Okay.
Episode 6.10 “Operation Breakout/Candy Kisses”
(Dir by George W. Brooks, originally aired on January 15th, 1983)
My fantasy would be to be able to review this episode.
Ever since Fantasy Island was yanked down on all the streaming sites, I’ve been watching the show off of my DVR. A few years ago, I recorded nearly every episode off of one of the retro stations. (Sadly, the station also appears to no longer be broadcasting the show.) Unfortunately, nearly is not all and this is one of the episodes that I did not record. So, obviously, I can’t review it.
I can talk a little bit about it because I did watch this episode a few years ago. When I read the plot description on the imdb — Wheelchair-bound Kentucky racehorse breeder Rowena Haversham wants one last chance to win a race; and self-professed failure Danny Clements of Boston wants to turn his life around by breaking an American agent out of a tough foreign prison. — a bit of it came back to me. I remembered that Rowena (Ann Turkel) was given what she thought was a magic riding crop but that, at the end of the episode, Roarke revealed that the only magic was Rowena’s belief in herself. I think Rowena was transformed into a younger version of herself and she befriended a young rider played by Jill Whelan and ended up falling in love with Whelan’s father, who played by John Beck and not Gavin MacLeod. And I remember that Ben Murphy played the guy who entered the prison to save the American spy but it turned out that the prison was run totally by women and the spy was having the time of his life. I remember bits and pieces but it’s been a few years and I still wouldn’t feel comfortable even trying to tell you whether or not the episode worked.
So, consider this to be a placeholder. If I ever find Fantasy Island streaming somewhere or if someone is kind enough to reupload the show to YouTube, I’ll come back and review this episode.
Until then, my fantasy is for an official home video release of the entire series as opposed to just the first few seasons. Seriously, this is a fun show and one that still has a lot of fans. Yanking it off of Tubi to make room for the Fox reboot that only lasted for two seasons really doesn’t make a bit of sense.
In this 1986 melodrama, Kate (Meredith Baxter) has a secret. She may look like healthy and young and blonde. She may have a beautiful house and a handsome husband (Ben Masters). She and her fitness instructor best friend (Shari Belafonte) may spend their time making fun of how fat everyone else. But deep down, Kate is convinced that she’s overweight. She gets on the scale and that declaration of 120 pounds feels like a slap in the face.
How does Kate lose weight? She exercises frequently. And she spends a lot of time staring at herself in the mirror, as if trying to mentally burn away the pounds. Mostly, though, Kate just binges on food whenever she gets stressed and then she throws up. Kate has a lot of reasons to be stressed and they are almost entirely due to her mother (Georgann Johnson), who rarely has a nice word to say to Kate and who constantly tells Kate that she’s going to lose her husband to his assistant (Leslie Bevis).
(Who does everyone always assume that assistants are going to be homewreckers?)
Now, to be clear, eating disorders are a serious thing. I know more than a few people who have had eating disorders. During my first semester of college, I got very used to the sound of the girl in the room next to mine throwing up every morning. There’s nothing funny about the idea of someone having an eating disorder. However, there is something funny about an overwritten movie about an eating disorder that features Meredith Baxter literally attacking a chocolate cake then blaming the mess in the kitchen on the dogs. This is one of those well-intentioned programs that takes a real problem and then goes so overboard in portraying it that it’s more likely to make you snicker than feel horrified. You might not feel good about laughing but the crazed look in Meredith Baxter’s cake-filled eyes will make it difficult not to. Hence, the term guilty pleasure.
As always happens in these type of movies, Kate ends up in a treatment center where a doctor (Edward Asner) tries to reach her and the other patients are all either extremely nice or extremely rude. Kate’s roommate (Tracy Nelson) is a model with anorexia. Another patient (Mindy Seeger) harps on Kate’s “perfect life.” Meanwhile, poor Deyna (Mackenzie Phillips) freaks out when someone moves the garbage can. It’s all very well-meaning but also very over-written and overacted to the point that, once again, it’s more likely to illicit a guilty laugh than anything else.
In the end, Kate realizes that it’s all her mother’s fault. That was kind of obvious from the first time her mother told Kate that her husband was obviously planning on leaving her. “I’m getting better,” Kate says as the credits roll. Yay, Kate!
The 2011 film, Reach Me, opens with a rapper named E-Ruption (Nelly) appearing on a morning show and talking about how, while he was serving a prison sentence, he read a self-help book called Reach Me. It asked him to consider whether or not his childhood self would be happy with his adult self. The book was written by a mysterious man named Teddy Raymond. No one knows who this Teddy Raymond is. He’s never appeared in public. People film themselves reading the book online and then upload to YouTube as a way of sharing Teddy’s wisdom. I honestly can think of nothing more annoying and boring than watching someone else read a self-help book but whatever. I live in Texas. The movie takes place in California.
Tabloid editor Gerald (Sylvester Stallone) takes a break from action painting to order one of his reporters, Roger King (Kevin Connolly), to track down Teddy Raymond. Roger wants to write the great American novel. He doesn’t care about self-help. He meets Teddy’s associates, Wilson (Terry Crews) and Kate (Lauren Cohan) and Wilson talks about how Teddy magically cured Kate’s stutter. Roger then wanders around the beach, asking random people, “Teddy Raymond? Are you Teddy Raymond?” Oh look! There’s a guy named Teddy (Tom Berenger) who reluctantly cures Roger of his smoking addiction by ordering Roger to yell at the ocean …. over and over and over again.
Collette (Kyra Segdwick) has just been released from prison. Reading Teddy’s book has inspired her to try to become a fashion designer. Collette’s daughter, Eve (Elizabeth Henstridge), is an aspiring actress who was earlier groped by a sleazy star named Keating (Cary Elwes). Collette and Eve literally crash their car into a car being driven by Wolfie (Thomas Jane), a sociopathic undercover cop who enjoys killing people and who goes to confession after every shooting. (At the start of the movie, he guns down Danny Trejo.) The alcoholic priest, Father Paul (Danny Aiello), refuses to hear any more of his confessions.
Meanwhile, wannabe mob boss Frank (Tom Sizemore) is upset because another mob boss, Aldo (Kelsey Grammer), doesn’t treat him with any respect. Frank sends two of his hitmen, Thumper (David O’Hara) and Dominic (Omari Hardwick), to kill a man who owes him money and to also shoot the man’s dog. Thumper has been reading Teddy Raymond’s book and doesn’t want to shoot the dog. Dominic realizes that his heart isn’t into the mob life so, taking the book’s message to heart, he calls Frank and says, “My heart’s not in it.”
(Don’t try that with any real mobsters.)
Eventually, all of the characters do come together. They don’t exactly come together in a plausible manner but they do all end up at the same location so let’s give the film credit for that. Let’s also give this film credit for leaving me seriously confused. I have no idea whether this film was meant to a parody or a celebration of the self-help industry. At first, I suspected that it meant to be a parody because all of Teddy Raymond’s advice was painfully shallow and the type of basic crap that anyone could come up with. I actually found myself losing respect for the people who claimed that Teddy had changed their lives. But at the movie progressed, I realized that I was supposed to take Teddy and his advice seriously. This was a film that I guess was meant to have something to say but who knows what exactly that was.
That said — hey, everyone’s in this movie! Director John Herzfeld was a former college roommate of Sylvester Stallone’s and, once Stallone agreed to appear, that apparently convinced a lot of other “name” actors to take the risk as well. There’s a lot of talent in this film but little of it is used correctly. Kelsey Grammer as an Italian mobster instead of the editor? Sylvester Stallone as the editor instead of the Italian mobster? Thomas Jane as a sociopath who has a girlfriend by the end of the movie, one who smiles and tells him, “Try not to shoot anyone?” Kyra Sedgwick as an ex-con? These are all good actors but just about everyone, with the exception of the much-missed Danny Aiello, is miscast.
It’s a true Icarus File. It was a just a little more self-aware, this would have been a Guilty Pleasure. But, in the end, self-help cannot help itself.
In today’s scene that I love, two icons of cinematic cool meet in 1968’s Hell In The Pacific.
In this scene, Lee Marvin comes across Toshiro Mifune on the island on which they have both crashed. There’s not much dialogue in this scene but, when you’ve got two actors like Marvin and Mifune, there doesn’t need to be much dialogue.
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today would have been the 105th birthday of the great actor, Toshiro Mifune. It’s time for….
Yes, it’s April Fools Day. I guess today’s song of the day is the obvious choice but no matter! (Don’t start any jokes today that you can’t finish.)
I started a joke which started the whole world crying But I didn’t see that the joke was on me oh no I started to cry which started the whole world laughing Oh If I’d only seen that the joke was on me
I looked at the skies running my hands over my eyes And I fell out of bed hurting my head from things that I said ‘Till I finally died which started the whole world living Oh if I’d only seen that the joke was on me
I looked at the skies running my hands over my eyes And I fell out of bed hurting my head from things that I said ‘Till I finally died which started the whole world living Oh if I’d only seen that the joke was on me Oh no that the joke was on me
Songwriters: Barry Gibb / Maurice Ernest Gibb / Robin Hugh Gibb
In 2009’s A Talking Cat!?, an adorable kitty named Squeaky stars as Duffy, a cat who can speak with the voice of Eric Roberts! It’s all due to a magic collar that Duffy is wearing. Not only do we hear Duffy’s thoughts but he can actually talk to people. He can only do it once per person and it’s not something that he really enjoys doing. He usually prefers to keep quiet and just inspire the humans with his cuteness but occasionally, the human are so dumb that Duffy has to speak up.
Over the course of A Talking Cat!?!, Duffy helps two families become one. Phil (Johnny Whitaker) has just retired from writing code and he has a huge home, a sullen son named Chris (Justin Cone), and too much free time on his hands. Chris has a crush on Fannie (Alison Sieke), who he is tutoring in English. Frannie obviously like Chris and enjoys swimming in the house’s pool but how will she react when she discovers that Chris doesn’t know how to swim? A few miles down, single mother Susan (Kristine DeBell) is trying to start her own company while her children, Tina (Janis Peebles) and Trent (Daniel Dannas), does their own thing. Tina wants to do something with computers. Trent is still struggling to find himself. He enjoys teaching people how to swim. Hey, Phil is a programmer! Chris needs to learn how to swim! Do your thing, Duffy!
Somehow, this film has gotten a reputation for being bad. Look, as far as I’m concerned, it features two really nice houses, an adorable cat, and the voice of Eric Roberts. It’s great! From what I’ve read, Eric recorded his dialogue over the course of a few hours. His somewhat cynical and world-weary voice is actually the way most cats would probably sound. Does his tone frequently not match what’s happening on the screen? Yes, but that’s a part of the film’s charm. Someone said, let’s get the cutest cat we can find and then have him speak in the voice of Eric Roberts. As far as I’m concerned, that’s all this film needed for it to totally work. Cats have been there. They’ve seen stuff. Cats are like, “Meow, things got dark!”
Thanks, Duffy!
Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:
Through the Shattered Lens 