Horror Film Review: Evil Dead (dir. by Fede Alvarez)


“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but nothing has been fine. And everything’s been getting worse every second.” — Eric

Evil Dead does not tiptoe around its legacy; it kicks the cabin door open, grabs the Necronomicon, and buries the audience under gallons of blood. Fede Alvarez’s 2013 soft reboot faced the nearly impossible task of revisiting Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead, a cult horror landmark so tied to its handmade weirdness, manic energy, and eventual dark-comedy sensibility that a straight duplicate would have been pointless. Alvarez wisely does not try to replace the original. Instead, he takes its basic framework—the isolated cabin, the Book of the Dead, a group of doomed young people, and an escalating demonic outbreak—and reshapes it into something more polished, more punishing, and much more relentlessly nasty.

The major difference is tone. Raimi’s original had a rough, handmade quality that made every improvised effect, wild camera move, and strange performance feel like part of its identity. It was scary, but it was also energized by a kind of reckless invention. Alvarez’s Evil Dead goes in another direction. It is slicker, more controlled, and deeply mean-spirited in a way that makes the cabin feel less like a creepy vacation spot and more like a rotting death trap. This is not a winking horror-comedy, at least not until the violence becomes so excessive that it starts circling back around into stunned laughter. For most of its running time, the movie plays things brutally straight. It wants the audience to feel trapped in that filthy cabin right alongside the characters, watching every injury worsen and every possible escape route close off.

That seriousness is actually one of the film’s smartest choices. The cabin trip is no longer just a random weekend getaway that turns into hell. Mia, played by Jane Levy, is being brought to the family cabin by her brother David and a few friends so she can detox from heroin. It is a grim premise, but it gives the story a real emotional spine. Mia’s friends and family are not merely there to be picked off one by one; they are trying, however imperfectly, to help her survive something terrifying before any supernatural force enters the picture. When Mia starts seeing horrific things, the others initially assume she is suffering withdrawal symptoms or trying to manipulate them into letting her leave. That adds a nasty layer of uncertainty to the setup. The audience knows something evil is happening, but the people around Mia have a believable reason not to trust her.

Jane Levy carries a huge amount of the movie. Mia has to move through several different modes: vulnerable, furious, terrified, possessed, exhausted, and eventually almost mythic in her determination to survive. It would have been easy for the movie to turn her into either a helpless victim or a standard final girl, but Levy gives her enough rawness that she feels like a person fighting two battles at once. She is struggling with addiction, family resentment, and an actual demonic infection spreading through the cabin. Her performance gets more intense as the movie goes on, and by the final act she has become one of the more memorable protagonists in the franchise.

The supporting cast is less developed, though that is partly by design. David, played by Shiloh Fernandez, is Mia’s estranged brother and the closest thing the film has to a traditional lead for much of the first half. Lou Taylor Pucci’s Eric is the unfortunate idiot who reads from the Necronomicon despite the book being wrapped in barbed wire, marked with warnings, and seemingly designed to scream “do not open this.” Still, the movie at least gives him more guilt than the average horror-movie fool. Once he realizes what he has unleashed, Eric spends much of the film trying to help Mia and clean up his mistake. Olivia and Natalie are thinner characters, but the film uses them effectively as different stages of the Deadite infection and as delivery systems for some especially vile set pieces.

And that is where Evil Dead really earns its reputation. The film’s violence is not merely bloody; it is aggressive, tactile, and determined to make the audience squirm. Needles, glass, nail guns, electric carving knives, box cutters, hot water, exposed nerves, severed limbs—Alvarez and co-writer Rodo Sayagues treat the cabin like a giant torture chamber filled with household objects waiting to become weapons. The gore is so over-the-top that it becomes almost operatic. There is a clear effort to make every major injury feel specific rather than generic. This is not just people getting slashed in dark rooms. The movie wants viewers to remember exactly what happened, which is why several scenes are difficult to shake even after the credits roll.

What makes the carnage work is the heavy use of practical effects. The film has digital touch-ups here and there, but it mostly wants blood, makeup, prosthetics, and physical messiness in the frame. That choice connects it directly to the old-school horror tradition that made the original The Evil Dead so memorable. Alvarez has a cleaner visual style than Raimi, but he does not make the mistake of turning the Deadites into sleek CGI monsters. They look diseased, swollen, burned, cut open, and horribly physical. The cabin itself is just as important. It is damp, dark, decaying, and full of corners that seem infected before anyone even opens the book.

The film also knows how to use the iconography of the series without becoming trapped by it. The Book of the Dead is immediately recognizable, but it is presented as a more grotesque object than ever: bound in human skin, wrapped in barbed wire, and full of disturbing images and warnings that practically dare someone to ignore them. There are nods to Raimi’s films, including a familiar yellow Oldsmobile and the expected cabin imagery, but Alvarez avoids simply repeating Ash Williams’s story. Bruce Campbell’s Ash is such a distinct character that trying to replace him outright would have been a disaster. Instead, Evil Dead makes Mia its own survivor and lets her final confrontation stand apart from the earlier movies.

The biggest criticism of Alvarez’s film is also a fair one: it can feel almost too grim. The original movies had a wild punk-rock sense of fun—raw, fast, messy, inventive, and powered by the kind of reckless confidence that turns limitations into personality. Alvarez’s soft reboot abandons that punk-rock attitude almost entirely. If Raimi’s The Evil Dead feels like a sweaty, chaotic garage band ripping through a horror song at maximum volume, Alvarez’s Evil Dead is the Norwegian black-metal version: colder, uglier, more nihilistic, and committed to burying the audience under mud, blood, grief, and cruelty. It is still extreme, but it is extreme in a much more punishing key.

That is not automatically a flaw, even if it may leave fans of the original’s humor missing the unhinged fun. Alvarez is not trying to make a Raimi imitation. He makes a full-blooded, punishing horror film that takes the mythology seriously while still delivering the series’ essential pleasures: demonic possessions, a cursed cabin, practical gross-out effects, and enough blood to drown a small town. The dialogue is occasionally stiff, some of the supporting characters never become much more than targets, and the addiction metaphor can be a little blunt, but those weaknesses do not erase the film’s commitment or craft.

The climax is where the movie finally fully embraces the outrageousness that defines the franchise. Mia’s fight against the Abomination during a literal rain of blood is ridiculous in the best possible way. It is gruesome, excessive, and visually unforgettable. The movie has spent so long tightening the screws that this ending feels like an explosion of all the pent-up insanity it had been holding back. It is not as funny as Evil Dead II or Army of Darkness, but it absolutely understands that an Evil Dead finale should be bigger, wetter, louder, and more deranged than logic permits.

Ultimately, Evil Dead works because it treats the source material with respect without treating it like museum property. It is nastier than the original, more emotionally grounded, and less playful, but it is still recognizably part of the same cursed family tree. Alvarez’s version may not have the handmade chaos or goofy charm of Raimi’s The Evil Dead, but it has its own savage identity. More importantly, it proved the franchise could move forward without simply repeating Ash Williams’s story. Its grimy, practical-effects-heavy, emotionally brutal approach became the blueprint for the modern Evil Dead films that followed, including Evil Dead Rise and Evil Dead Burn, even as each one found a new setting, cast, and nightmare to unleash. Evil Dead Rise moved the carnage from the cabin into a cramped apartment building, while Evil Dead Burn carried that modern branch of the series forward with another standalone story connected to the same larger Deadite universe.

For viewers who want horror movies to go all the way—who want the blood to spray, the limbs to fly, and the final girl to earn every second of her survival—it remains one of the strongest horror remakes of its era.

October Positivity: The Ground Beneath Our Feet (dir by Lauren Havel)


In The Ground Beneath Our Feet, Emma Bryant (Elliana McKean) is a teenager who feels lost.  Her school has drab lighting and is full of teachers who don’t seem to care and bullies who terrorize the hallways.  When she gets cast in the school musical, it turns out that it’s a sacrilegious dirge written by a drama teacher who obviously has issues of her own.  (“Thank God I don’t need God!” a typical song goes.)  Her grandparents aren’t going to be happy about that!  For that matter, they also probably wouldn’t approve of her crush on simple-minded football star Aiden (Cooper Southfield).

Hidden away in the corners of her grandparents’ home is a diary that was written by Emma’s great-aunt Evelyn.  Reading it, she learns about how, in the 1950s, Evelyn (Mirabelle Bishaw) watched as her sister Mary (Ruby Eisenberg) fell under the influence of a no-good boyfriend named Roy (Eric Johnson) and a Math teacher who rarely taught about Math and instead would spend the entire class talking about his atheism.

The film flashes back and forth, from the 50s to 2024.  There’s even a brief stopover in the 70s.  That’s actually an intriguing premise and the film does make an effort to show how history repeats itself.  The alienation that Mary felt in the 50s is much like the alienation that Emma feels in 2024.  Unfortunately, the film itself really doesn’t have the budget to convincingly recreate the 50s, beyond featuring a few vintage cars.  Indeed, the film’s version of the 50s feels almost like a parody.  All of the dialogue has the sound of a writer trying to duplicate the rhythms of an era that they don’t know much about beyond what they’ve seen on television or in other movies.  And while Mirabelle Bishaw, Ruby Eisenberg, and Eric Johnson all do a good job in the 50s scenes, the actors playing their friends and acquaintances deliver their lines almost robotically.  It’s a bit disconcerting to listen to some of them.

The main theme running through this film is that people are very easily led.  That’s not necessarily a bad theme.  The truth of the matter is the most people are easily manipulated, especially by authority figures like teachers.  (Myself, I tend to assume that everyone is wrong except for me.  And while that may be preferable to being easily influences, it still comes with its own set of difficulties.)  In the modern scenes, Emma listens as a friend of her grandmother’s explains that her granddaughter has fallen away from the church because she read a set of “fantasy book” that led to her becoming an occultist.  That’s something that often seems to happen in faith-based films but I have to say that I don’t buy it.  Don’t blame the books just because your granddaughter apparently can’t think for herself.  People are responsible for their own decisions, regardless of how easily led they may be.

This film was definitely better-made than the average faith-based film.  The movie actually looked like a real movie.  Elliana McKean was sympathetic and likable as Emma.  The story was a bit difficult to follow.  The nonlinear style of storytelling has become very popular nowadays but it really does require a fine eye for detail to truly make it work.  I doubt it will convert anyone but at least the film felt like a professional production.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.6 “Clean and Sober”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, Billy Cooper gets in trouble.

Episode 5.6 “Clean and Sober”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 15th, 1989)

This week’s episode features three storylines.

The simplest of the storylines features Denardo’s ex-wife (Arlene Golonka) showing up at his house and saying that she’s hiding from a stalker.  She even changes Denardo’s phone number.  It turns out that her stalker is actually her current husband and they’re just having a minor argument.  They’re reunited while Denardo stands in the background and smiles.

The comedic storyline features an ex-player named Wes (Bob Chandler) asking Dr. Death and Jethro to serve as his bodyguards for a week.  Wes, who left football and got the lead role on a cop show, says that he’s going to have to testify against a mob boss.  Dr. Death and Jethro agree to keep an eye on him.  For instance, they bring him to practice.  They also freak out when someone tosses an unlit stick of dynamite at them.  Eventually, it turns out that Wes set them up to be the victims on a television prank show.  This storyline also featured Zagred begging Wes to put him on his show.  Even TD Parker (OJ Simpson) got in on the spirit, asking Wes if he could help him pitch a television show about a football manager who solves murders.  Uhmm, yeah, that sounds like a great idea, OJ….

The dramatic storyline features Billy getting into an accident while driving drunk.  His companion for the night is nearly killed.  Billy is sentenced to 90 days of alcohol rehab.  The member of the Bulls are not supportive of Billy’s attempt to get sober.  Johnny Gunn resents that he spent six years in prison for something that he did while drunk but Billy is apparently going to get away with just a slap on the wrist.  Billy stops drinking and starts popping pills.

TD is upset to see that Billy is not making a real effort to get sober.  When TD hears an commentator refer to Billy as being a “true professional,” TD replies, “Not in my book.”

Really, OJ?

This episode was all over the place, as is usually the case with 1st & Ten.  I actually found the storyline about Wes to be amusing but it didn’t feel like it belonged on an episode where Billy was trying and failing to get sober.  That said, this episode’s portrayal of Billy as being too rich and too famous to be held responsible for his mistakes was probably pretty close to the truth when it comes to celebrity addicts.  Billy may hate himself but he’s got enough cash to soothe the pain.

Documentary Review: Marjoe (dir by Howard Smith and Sarah Kernochan)


Before Marjoe Gortner was an actor, he was a preacher.

Actually, that might be a bit too glib on my part. According to Marjoe, he was never more of an actor than when he was standing under a tent and preaching.

The 1972 documentary Marjoe opens with footage of a four-year-old Marjoe Gortner wearing a white button-down shirt and a bow tie and preaching about how all the sinners are going to burn in Hell. We watch as young Marjoe performs a marriage. We see his parents beaming as Marjoe delivers a fire-breathing sermon. In a voice-over, an adult Marjoe Gortner explains that he was named after Mary and Joseph and that both of his parents were active on the Pentecostal revival circuit. His father was a preacher. At four years old, Marjoe became the world’s youngest ordained preacher. Marjoe talks about how the novelty of a child preacher drew in crowds. By the time he was 14, he had brought in over four million dollars to his family’s ministry. When crowds turned out to be less interested in a teenage preacher than they had been in a child preacher, Marjoe’s father left the family and took the money with him.

We cut to Marjoe Gortner at 27. He’s tall, a little bit gawky. He has curly hair and a beak-like nose. He’s not exactly handsome, but when he speaks, he still has the charisma that once made him a superstar in evangelical circles. He’s talking to a documentary crew who are about to follow him on what he says will be his final revival tour. Marjoe claims that, even as a child, he never really believed or even understood what he was preaching. He was raised to perform, and that’s what he did. Now, Marjoe says that he’s had a crisis of conscience. In public, he’s still a fire-and-brimstone preacher who claims to be able to heal the sick and whose rhythmic sermons cause people to dance, speak in tongues, and give away their money. (The money, Marjoe explains, is the important part.) He preaches against drugs and sin and anyone who believes differently than he does. In private, Marjoe is a pot-smoking beatnik (and indeed, beatnik would be the right term to use because Marjoe’s a bit too cynical to be considered a hippie) who enjoys hanging out with the same people that he condemns from the stage.

The documentary features a lot of footage of Marjoe at various revival meetings, preaching and showing off the moves that he says he copied from Mick Jagger. We watch as Marjoe has an awkward reunion with his estranged father, who shows up to preach under the same tent as his son. We watch as Marjoe repeatedly counts his money. Marjoe revels in being a showman and admits that he still loves the feeling of holding the emotions of his audience in the palm of his hand. As creepy as the footage sometimes is, there’s a definite elitism to the documentary crew, of which they don’t really seem to be aware. Of course, the film seems to be saying, this would happen in the South. We Northerners are too smart to fall for Marjoe’s act. And yet, just the fact that they’re filming him shows that they have fallen for his act. They just don’t realize it.

While the revival footage is indeed fascinating (one can really feel the audience getting swept up in Marjoe’s sermons), the film’s most interesting moments are when we see Marjoe talking to the documentarians. For all the talk about how he wants to finally be himself, Marjoe never stops performing. Even when he’s confessing and claiming to be telling the truth, Marjoe is acting. One gets the feeling that performing is all that Marjoe ever knew, and certainly it makes it easy to understand why, in the years following this documentary, he found success as a character actor. There’s never a moment in the documentary in which Marjoe isn’t “on.” In the end, one gets the feeling that he’s conning the documentarians just as easily as he’s conning the faithful. When Marjoe says that he is “bad but not evil,” it ultimately feels like another performance. Marjoe spends the documentary taking viewers behind the scenes, and yet he’s as much of an enigma at the end of the documentary as he was at the beginning. He’s a fascinating character, if only because it’s impossible to tell how much of anything is real to him.

(Indeed, watching Marjoe, I was reminded of Elizabeth Holmes’s disturbingly empty smile in the trailer for the upcoming documentary You Can See Everything.)

Released in 1972, Marjoe won the Oscar for Best Documentary. Marjoe Gortner, who passed away last week at the age of 82, had a lengthy acting career, one in which he often played con men and other outlaws. His final role was in 1995’s Wild Bill. He played a preacher.  My favorite Gortner role will always be as Akton in 1978’s Starcrash.

Congratulations to the Tampa Bay Rays!


Congratulations to the the Tampa Bay Rays on their victory in their Divisional series!  They swept the Yankees, winning in three games.

(I guess the Yankees forgot to renew their pact with the supernatural.)

The Dodgers also won their Divisional series so now it’s just a question of how who will be facing the Rays and the Dodgers for their respective League Championships.  The Rays will face either the Guardians or the White Sox.  The Dodgers will play either the Brewers or the Padres.

Go Rays!  I wish it my Rangers in the playoff but as long as an American League from the South wins the World Series, I’ll be happy!

Horror On TV: Fear Itself 1.7 “Community” (dir by Mary Harron)


In tonight’s episode of Fear Itself, Bobby (Brandon Routh) and Tracy (Shiri Appleby) are a young couple who move to a gated community and learn that there are consequences to upsetting the HOA.  The story is familiar but Mary Harron does a good job of combining satire with chills.  Watching how Bobby and Tracy are pressured to conform to the rules of the community, it was hard not to be reminded of the excesses of the COVID era.

(Of course, the truly interesting thing about the COVID era was seeing how many self-styled nonconformists revealed their true selves once they were actually put in a position where taking a stand could have had consequences.  They know who they are.)

This episode originally aired on July 24th, 2008.  Mary Harron, of course, is best known for directing American Psycho.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: House of the Damned (dir by Maury Dexter)


1963’s House of the Damned tells the story of an isolated mansion.  It’s a place that many people have tried to live in but no one has ever been willing to stick around for too long.  There are rumors that the mansion is haunted.  In fact, you could even make the claim that the mansion is a house of the damned!  Of course, we all know that there’s no such thing as ghosts, right?

Joseph Schiller (Richard Crane), the new owner of the mansion, calls architect Scott Campbell (Rob Foster) and tells him to go up to the house and check the place out.  Scott points out that he was planning on celebrating his anniversary with his wife, Nancy (Merry Anders).  Joseph say that there is no better way to celebrate an anniversary than to visit a house that might be haunted.  Scott and Nancy (who  is amazingly understanding) head for the house, where all sorts of strange things happen.

What type of strange things?  Keys disappear.  There are weird noises.  Sometimes, it seems like something or someone might be lurking in the shadows.  Could the house be haunted?  While Scott and Nancy try to figure out what’s going on, Joseph shows up with his wife, Loy (Erika Peters).  When Loy disappears, it becomes obvious that something is happening in the house of the damned!

House of the Damned is a briskly paced and occasionally effective haunted house story.  It was directed by Maury Dexter, who was a director who was so fast and so capable of stretching a low budget that, at his best, he gave Roger Corman a run for his money.  House of the Damned is only 63 minutes long and the film’s story isn’t particularly complex but Dexter still manages to create a properly ominous atmosphere and he does keep you guessing as to whether or not the house is actually haunted.  The house itself was the former estate of infamous gangster Bugsy Siegel.  Dexter reportedly spent ten days filming the movie at the Spiegel estate.  Hopefully, he was not bothered by Bugsy’s ghost.

None of the characters are particularly well-developed but they are well-cast and the actors are all likable.  The best performance comes from Erika Peters, who plays Loy as being slightly self-absorbed but ultimately good-hearted.  She also gets to wear a bathing suit that is simply to die for.  This film also features a very early performance from the great Richard Kiel, playing “The Giant.”  It’s always nice to see Richard Kiel in a movie.  Shortly before he passed away in 2014, Kiel visited my Alamo Drafthouse for a showing of The Spy Who Loved Me.  Though it was obvious that he wasn’t in great health, he still took time to answer questions and to show off a rather charming smile.  When a certain redhead told him that she loved him in a beloved 90s golf comedy, he smiled and said, “I believe that jacket belongs to Mr. Gilmore.”

House of the Damned was a nice surprise.  We need more 62-minute films.

Horror Game Review: Voodoo Castle (1979, Alexis Adams)


Count Christo has been cursed by his enemies and is currently in a coma.  Your job is to search his castle and gather together both the clues and the equipment necessary to reverse the spell.  If you take too long you might get hit by the curse as well.  So, don’t waste any time!

Sometimes, I miss the simple and innocent text-adventure games that used to be a mainstay for personal computers.  I’ll get nostalgic for the puzzles and the simple commands of “n, w, e, s.”  I miss the familiar pattern of: “Get object,”  “Look object,” and  “Inventory,” to make sure that you still had the object with you.  I’ll fondly remember when you could play and beat a game without having to spend hours sitting in front of a screen.

Then I’ll remember how frustrated I used to get with games like Voodoo Castle.  Like many of the early test adventures, Voodoo Castle takes a bare-bones approach to story-telling.  Later editions came with simple graphics but, even then, it never really made you feel as if you were actually a part of the story.  Searching the castle isn’t a problem.  Figuring out how to cast a spell when the game’s parser can only understand two words at a time is the bigger frustration.  There’s at least one puzzle where the game itself specifically tells you what to type and for that, I was thankful.  Good luck figuring out what to type to cast the spell necessary to awaken Count Christo, though.

Voodoo Castle is available to download from a lot of abandonware sites.  There’s also a buggy version on the Internet Archive, which loads slowly and gets hit by errors.  The best thing about the version on the Archive is that it opens with an open letter from Scott Adams, the husband of the game’s author, in which he encourages you not to give the game to your friends.

Before anyone panics, this game is no longer for sale and Adventure International no longer exists so you can safely download Voodoo Castle or share it with friends if you wants.  I still wish I had seen this message when I was younger.  I had no idea I was a pirate.  I feel guilty now.

Great Moments In Comic Book History #47: Classic Comics Series Featuring #28


From 1976 to 1978, Marvel published a comic book with an unwieldy name.  Each issue of Classic Comics Series Featuring adapted a piece of classic literature.  In 1977, the #28 issue featured the work of Edgar Allan Poe.  Three stories were adapted: The Pit and the Pendulum, The Tell-Tale Heart, and The Cask of Amontillado.

In doing so, they gave us one of the best covers of the 1970s horror boom.

Credit for that goes to Gene Colan, Tom Palmer, and Danny Crespi.

Inside the comic, readers would find this image of a man not only tied beneath the pendulum but also covered in hundreds of rats.

Credit for that memorable image goes to Rudy Messina.

Fredric Wertham was not available for comment.

Previous Great Moments In Comic Book History:

  1. Winchester Before Winchester: Swamp Thing Vol. 2 #45 “Ghost Dance” 
  2. The Avengers Appear on David Letterman
  3. Crisis on Campus
  4. “Even in Death”
  5. The Debut of Man-Wolf in Amazing Spider-Man
  6. Spider-Man Meets The Monster Maker
  7. Conan The Barbarian Visits Times Square
  8. Dracula Joins The Marvel Universe
  9. The Death of Dr. Druid
  10. To All A Good Night
  11. Zombie!
  12. The First Appearance of Ghost Rider
  13. The First Appearance of Werewolf By Night
  14. Captain America Punches Hitler
  15. Spider-Man No More!
  16. Alex Ross Captures Galactus
  17. Spider-Man And The Dallas Cowboys Battle The Circus of Crime
  18. Goliath Towers Over New York
  19. NFL SuperPro is Here!
  20. Kickers Inc. Comes To The World Outside Your Window
  21. Captain America For President
  22. Alex Ross Captures Spider-Man
  23. J. Jonah Jameson Is Elected Mayor of New York City
  24. Captain America Quits
  25. Spider-Man Meets The Fantastic Four
  26. Spider-Man Teams Up With Batman For The Last Time
  27. The Skrulls Are Here
  28. Iron Man Meets Thanos and Drax The Destroyer
  29. A Vampire Stalks The Night
  30. Swamp Thing Makes His First Cover Appearance
  31. Tomb of Dracula #43
  32. The Hulk Makes His Debut
  33. Iron Man #182
  34. Tawky Tawny Makes His First Appearance
  35. Tomb of Dracula #49
  36. Marvel Publishes Star Wars #1
  37. MAD Magazine Plays Both Sides
  38. The Cover of Green Lantern/Green Arrow #85
  39. LBJ Stands Up For The Hulk
  40. Chamber of Chills #2
  41. Tomb of Dracula #41
  42. Tomb of Dracula #27
  43. X-Men Meet Frankenstein’s Monster
  44. The Amazing Spider-Man #33
  45. The Red Skull Tempts Spider-Man To Sell Out America
  46. Godzilla Joins The Marvel Universe

G.I. Joe: The Revenge of Cobra (1984, directed by Dan Thompson)


“G.I. Joe is the code name for America’s daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world!”

It’s good to see that some things never change. Land, sea, or air, G.I. Joe is there! If Cobra ceased to exist, would G.I. Joe be disbanded? It seems strange that G.I. Joe is apparently the only opponent Cobra has, especially when you consider that Cobra is an international organization. Is there a British version of G.I. Joe?

Those questions and a lot more were not answered in the second G.I. Joe animated five-episode miniseries, The Revenge of Cobra. This time, Cobra steals a special laser from G.I. Joe and uses it to power a weather machine. As usual, Destro does all the work, and then Cobra Commander ruins everything by pushing the machine too far. The machine breaks into three separate pieces, all of which land in different and very dangerous parts of the world and continue to create havoc. The Joes and Cobra fight to retrieve the three parts. Duke, meanwhile, gets captured again and ends up fighting in the arena of the Cobra Temple again.

It’s the same basic plot as G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, just with more emphasis on showing off all of the toys that the audience could then demand their parents buy them. This episode features Zartan and his Dreadnoks, and whenever they’re on screen, they might as well have a price tag on their foreheads, because who wouldn’t want to be Cobra’s master of disguise?

In G.I. Joe terms, a five-part miniseries is the equivalent of a 90-minute film. There’s a lot of action packed into those 90 minutes, and there’s a cliffhanger every 18 minutes. The animation is sleeker than in A Real American Hero, but it’s still clunky in that ’80s way that will either make you feel nostalgic or bored. Snake Eyes is given next to nothing to do, which is a mistake, because everyone knows Snake Eyes and Scarlett were the only members of the team who really mattered. If you watch, be prepared to hear “Yo Joe!” every two minutes.

There are a lot of battles in The Revenge of Cobra, but no one ever dies or is even seriously injured. What would G.I. Joe and Cobra do without each other?