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Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.10 “The Trophy, Part Two”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, Baywatch concludes the two storylines that began in the previous episode.  Will Mitch get over his guilt?  Will Eddie be able to keep his job?  Who will star in this week’s slow motion monologue?  These are the important questions that come with saving lives for a living.

Episode 2.10 “The Trophy, Part Two”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 18th, 1991)

The beach is in chaos!

Bitter over being in a wheelchair and also being single, Turner continues to take dangerous risks.  At one point, he decides to go hang-gliding to prove that not being able to walk doesn’t have to keep anyone from flying.  At another point, we get one of those priceless Baywatch montages where Turner imagines himself being able run down the beach.

Mitch still feels guilty over Turner’s condition but eventually, even Mitch has to kneel down beside the guy and say that enough is enough.  And really, that’s all it takes.  Turner accepts that his ex, Megan, is now dating a hunky marine biologist named Ross and he moves on.  Megan was played by Vanessa Angel and, according to the imdb, this was her final appearance on Baywatch.  This was also Daniel Quinn’s final appearance as Turner.  So I guess that storyline’s now over.  Mitch still seemed to be feeling pretty guilty but he’ll have to learn how to deal with that on his own because Eric Turner is out of here!

(Quinn would go on to play two other characters on Baywatch and he also had a role in the Baywatch spin-off, Pacific Blue.  I guess someone in the head office really liked him.)

Meanwhile, Eddie is bitter because, after being arrested for statutory rape, he’s been suspended from being a lifeguard.  Well, Eddie, that’s life.  That’s pretty much what would happen to any lifeguard in those circumstances.  Eddie spends a lot of time on this show demanding to be treated like everyone else and then getting angry when it happens.

When Eddie’s accuser, Caroline (played by a young A.J, Langer), attempts to commit suicide by jumping off the pier, Shauni is there to rescue her.  Having been rescued from drowning, Caroline confesses that she made up the story about Eddie because she wanted to impress her friends on the beach.  Eddie is reinstated and Caroline says that she’s going to return home to Pennsylvania and get some psychiatric help.

This episode was pretty anti-climatic.  For all the dramatic potential of Mitch’s guilt, Caroline’s accusations, and Eddie’s bitterness, both stories pretty much just ended with the sources of all the drama agreeing to live somewhere other than California.  If only life was always that simple!

In the end, this episode was typical Baywatch.  Yes, there was some drama.  But the most important thing was always getting the next montage.

 

Brad reviews PHENOMENON (1996), starring John Travolta!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Born in 1973, I missed the first John Travolta phenomenon. I wasn’t even five years old when movies like SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER and GREASE were released. Now don’t get me wrong, I loved John Travolta as a kid. I remember watching GREASE at my cousins’ house when I was around ten, and we all loved it. Probably the movie I loved the most is Brian De Palma’s BLOW OUT from 1981. Fox 16 out of Little Rock loved to play that movie, and I thought it was so great. It was the mid-80’s when I was watching it, so his best work had been several years before. 

From the mid-80’s to the early 90’s, I was obsessed with renting videos at our local rental shops. Do y’all remember the crap that Travolta was putting out then… TWO OF A KIND (1983), PERFECT (1985), THE EXPERTS (1989), CHAINS OF GOLD (1990), etc? I remember wanting to watch RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II at the movies when I was kid, and the theater in Conway, Arkansas was playing 2 movies: RAMBO and PERFECT. My mom insisted on PERFECT. So there we were, Dad, Mom, my older brother, me, and my younger sister in the theater watching PERFECT. It was an R-rated film, and Mom walked us out less than half an hour into the movie due to some guy putting his head under a woman’s skirt. I still remember the other patrons laughing at us as we walked out. This moment is burned into my psyche. Travolta did work on the hit LOOK WHO’S TALKING movies, but at the time, he got no credit because these were talking baby movies. It almost seemed like Travolta’s career had become something of a joke from the time I was a grade schooler all the way into my college years. I still loved him, but any time his name came up, the conversation was always about his good movies that were made years earlier contrasted against the crap he was in now. 

And then Tarantino’s PULP FICTION was released in 1994, he was absolutely incredible, and I was all about phase 2 of the John Travolta phenomenon. I watched just about everything he did over the next five years at the movie theater. During this remarkable stretch, I saw him in GET SHORTY, BROKEN ARROW, PHENOMENON, FACE/OFF, and many others. I revisited PHENOMENON again this week, and it took me back to that time when a 22 year old college student was rediscovering what a talented actor Travolta could be with the right material. 

George Malley (Travolta) is a likable “Everyman” who works as a mechanic in a small town in Northern California. On his 37th birthday, a mysterious flash of light knocks him over and changes everything. Suddenly he’s the smartest guy in town, and he can even move things with his mind. At first, his abilities amaze his friends and neighbors, but they soon begin to be afraid of him because they don’t understand him. George doesn’t understand why he’s so smart all of a sudden, but he’s falling in love with Lace (Kyra Sedgwick) anyway. The ultimate “answer” is somewhat realistic, and ultimately quite moving. 

Director Jon Turteltaub (WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING, NATIONAL TREASURE) does a good job by focusing on George and his friends rather than the supernatural “mystery elements” of the plot. We may not understand exactly why George has these extraordinary abilities, but they mostly remain a backdrop in a story about love, friendship, and mortality. The film asks a simple question: How would we react if someone we’ve known all our lives is suddenly one of the most amazing people on earth? If you follow much social media these days, we know the answer. How often do we see people get torn down as soon as they show any exceptional ability? We even see this in our own families, and we see it in this movie as well. Watching the film 30 years later, that fact really sticks out to me. 

I’ve been a fan of PHENOMENON for three decades specifically because I love John Travolta’s performance in the movie. He’s just so likable, so when things start to go bad for him, we’re disappointed as well. He plays George as a man whose growing genius makes him want to help people even more. He’s so sincere that we never stop pulling for him, which is a true testament to Travolta’s incredible work. Kyra Sedgwick is amazing as well. As a mother and having been hurt before, her character takes her time letting George into her life, but once she does she goes all in. I love it. Forest Whitaker, Robert Duvall, and Jeffrey DeMunn all have outstanding moments that make the small-town community feel real. Their friendships specifically help provide an emotional strength that most films don’t have. 

PHENOMENON isn’t a perfect film, as it’s probably a little too long, and it may linger a little too much on vague “science.” However, it is a film that’s most interested in showing us a character who uses the gifts he’s been given to make life better for those around him while he can. It’s a timeless idea that gives PHENOMENON a power that has only grown stronger with time. It’s also a reminder that John Travolta has a magnetic screen presence. Beneath all of his charisma is an actor capable of tremendous warmth and vulnerability. At the end of the day, those are the kinds of characters we end up really caring about.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.19 “A Family Affair”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week’s episode is all about death, natural and otherwise.

Episode 2.19 “A Family Affair”

(Dir by Keith Samples, originally aired on February 19th, 1990)

Paul (Leonard O. Turner) is having an affair with Claire (Kim Morgan Greene).  He doesn’t want his wife, Helen (Marlene Warfield), or his son, Jason (Morris Chestnut) to find out so when Claire becomes possessive and breaks into his house, he resorts to drastic measures and kills her.  However, he and Jason then discover that Claire has already killed Helen.  Months later, Paul and Jason are now estranged and Jason is doing drugs.  When Paul has a heart attack, he is visited by Claire’s spirit.  Claire is now the Angel of Death and has come to claim his soul.  Paul begs Claire to give one more week of life so that he can settle his affairs.  Claire agrees and then says that she still can’t return empty-handed.  Guess who overdoses?

“Drugs,” Freddy Krueger says, “Now there’s a real nightmare!”

Did you hear that kids?  The horribly scarred. undead serial killer who is the host of this show says that you better not do drugs.  Freddy — or I should say, Robert Englund — delivers the line in a very solemn tone.  Freddy’s Nightmares is trying to be socially responsible.

Oh, what to say about this episode?  Kim Morgan Greene was enjoyably snarky while playing the Angel of Death.  Otherwise, this was a pretty boring episode.  Paul’s a jerk and, as a result, he loses everyone that he cares about.  If Paul was in any way sympathetic, that would be sad.  As it is, it’s hard to care.

Only three episodes left!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.2 “Fathers and Sons”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, Dr. Craig’s son returns home.

Episode 4.2 “Fathers and Sons”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on September 25th, 1985)

In this episode, we discover what Dr. Westphall did after he left St. Eligius.  After checking Tommy into a special school for autistic children, Westphall went to Africa and volunteered his time at a clinic.  Now that he’s returned to Boston, he wants St. Eligius and its residents to follow his example.  In fact, he’s requiring it.  He wants to set up a free clinic.  He wants to set up a charity.  He tells the residents that they will now be required to volunteer in the community.  He’s planning on shaking things up.  Auschlander tells Westphall that not all of his plans are practical.  Westphall says that he doesn’t care.

Westphall also proceeds to move back into his old house and he retrieves Tommy from the school.  (Tommy responds by hitting Westphall.)  It’s actually pretty easy to see what’s happening here.  At the end of the previous season, Westphall was determined to move on with his life.  He was going to leave his depressing house.  He was going to admit that he couldn’t raise Tommy by himself.  However, now that he’s returned to Boston, Westphall is returning to his old life while expecting St. Eligius to change.  Westphall is channeling his personal frustrations into the hospital.  I don’t think this is going to go well.

Speaking of change, Luther is training to become a paramedic.  In this episode, he rides around in an ambulance with two bickering paramedics who are also a couple (played by Adam Arkin and Melanie Chartoff).  This storyline allowed the action to move beyond the confines at the hospital and, at times, it almost played like a parody of a more traditional medical show.  Luther becomes a stand-in for the viewer, watching as the domestic drama unfolds in  between medical emergencies.

The majority of the episode revolves around Dr. Craig, who is not happy that his son, Stephen (Scott Paulin), is visiting with his very pregnant wife, Yvonne (Suzanne Lederer).  When we last saw Stephen, he was a hotshot Ivy League medical student with a bright future ahead of him.  Then he got busted for drug possession and Dr. Craig stopped speaking about him.  In this episode, we learn that Stephen is now a student at Ohio State.  Stephen claims that he’s no longer on drugs but it’s obvious that Dr. Craig is never going to be able to forgive Stephen for letting him down.  That said, Dr. Craig does soften a bit when he talks to Yvonne and she lets him feel the baby kicking.

At the end of the episode, Stephen is driving down a street in Boston.  He’s just had dinner with his parents.  Yvonne is in the passenger’s seat.  A quick shot of Stephen’s eyes reveal that he’s high on something.  Yvonne screams as Stephen crashes the car.  Yikes!  That’s a frightening way to end things!

This was a good episode.  It appears that, with the start of season four, the showrunners finally figured out that Dr. Craig was the most interesting character on the show.  William Daniels and Bonnie Bartlett are both excellent in this episode.

I just hope the baby will be okay.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 1.11 “The Garbage Man”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Hunter and McCall deal with some familiar faces.

Episode 1.11 “The Garbage Man”

(Dir by Bruce Kessler, originally aired on January 11th, 1985)

This week’s episode is all about spotting the guest stars.

Hey, there’s Christopher McDonald as Sonny Dupree, a parolee who has been accused of murdering his parole officer.  He’s on the run but, when Hunter corners him, Sonny makes a convincing argument that he was set up.  It also turns out that someone doctored Sonny’s arrest record to make him look like a far more viscous criminal than he actually is.

Hey, there’s Nicholas Worth, playing a friend of Sonny’s.  Nicholas Worth might not be a household name but you’d recognize if you saw him.  He was big and bald and intimidating.

Oh my God, it’s Frances McDormand!  She plays a new parole officer named Nina and she develops a crush on Hunter!  At one point, McCall pretends to be Nina on the phone and does a fairly bad imitation of McDormand’s genuine Southern accent.

And wait, is that Ed O’Neill!?  Yes, it is.  A skinny Ed O’Neill plays Dan Colson, a parole officer who is determined to track down Sonny and who is even more violent than Hunter.  When Sonny explains that someone has been executing parolees, it doesn’t take a genius to guess who the killer is.

McDonald, Worth, McDormand, and O’Neill all give strong performances in this episode.  Fred Dryer and Stepfanie Kramer get to be their usual dependable selves while the guest cast runs off with all the drama.

As for the overall episode, it features a few plot twists that don’t really make much sense.  We’re asked to believe that Sonny Dupree, who is trying to straighten out his life and who has a wife and daughter, would agree to have his criminal record doctored just so he could serve as bait for the vigilante.  There’s also — and this was often the case with Hunter — absolutely no suspense about who the murderer is.  As soon as we meet Colson, we know he’s guilty.  Even if he was being played by as complete nobody, we would know that he was guilty.  Hunter is not exactly a subtle show.

That said, this episode had some good action sequences and it also showcased the chemistry between Fred Dryer and Stepfanie Kramer.  The scene where McCall and Hunter argue over who should chase Colson was a classic, with McCall sensibly pointing out that she didn’t want to dent up her new car.  Hunter’s car, naturally, was already covered in dents.

In the end, this episode worked.  The guest stars, the action, the comedy, it all added up to an enjoyable 48 minutes.

Reblog: Big Brother 28 — The Big Question

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Don’t worry. The TSL is not turning into a Big Brother Blog. This is just my way of letting you know what I’ll be doing this summer when I’m not reviewing films over here! And if you happen to be a fan of the show, I’d love to hear from you over at RealityTVChatBlog. Thanks! — Lisa Marie

Big Brother 28 — The Big Question

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.7 “Saturday, Bloody Saturday”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, Lawrence Taylor shows up!

Episode 4.7 “Saturday, Bloody Saturday”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 16th, 1988)

Ever since I started reviewing this show, my friend Mark has been telling me to keep an eye out for Lawrence Taylor.  Taylor is an actual football player who has gone on to have a sporadic acting career.  (He also did Dancing With The Stars.)  This week, after months of searching, I finally spotted Lawrence Taylor’s name in the credits.

Taylor plays Tombstone Packer, an opposing player who goes on television and announces that he’s going to destroy the Bulls to get revenge on Dr. Death for crippling one of Tombstone’s teammates.  Usually, I joke about how the worst actors on shows like this are always the professional athletes.  But I have to admit that Lawrence Taylor is not that bad in this episode.  Of course, he spends most of the episode yelling at and threatening people and I imagine that would come naturally to most football players.  Still, that’s more than most of the basketball players who appeared on Hang Time were capable of pulling off.

There’s a lot of drama in this episode, even beyond Tombstone Packer’s search for vengeance.  For instance, Billy Cooper is shocked to discover that his newest girlfriend, Sybil (Samantha Eggar, seriously slumming), is the wife of Dodds Corporation executive Robert Nelson (Derek Patridge).  Making things even worse is that Sybil dies of a drug overdose and Billy is worried that he and the players might be blamed and even criminally charged.  Billy shouldn’t have worried, though.  It turns out that Sybil had a long history of sleeping with athletes and Robert was okay with it.  He’s not even that upset to hear that his wife has died.

Meanwhile, TD Parker (OJ Simpson) meets Gillian (Michael Michele).  The newly-divorced TD flirts with Gillian at a supermarket and learns that she’s a soccer player.  TD decides that it’s time for the Bulls to make history by signing Gillian as their backup field goal kicker!  Over the objections of Coach Denardo, Gillian becomes the first woman to play professional football.  Of course, Tombstone tackles her as soon as she makes her first kick and she’s carted off the field with a bruised leg.  The show ends with TD welcoming Gillian to the team but, according to imdb, this was Gillian’s only appearance on the show.  Hopefully, she didn’t make TD angry.

(I should also say that, on Tubi, this episode’s sound was extremely muddy and the close captioning was running way behind so the show ended before the captions even reached TD’s postgame talk with Gillian.  Their conversation was not always easy to hear.  That said, Gillian looked really happy so I’m assuming that TD welcomed her to the team.)

As I watched this episode, I remembered that, a few years ago, a woman actually did try out to be a kicker in the NFL.  She received a lot of media hype in the days leading up to the try-out.  Everyone was really excited until she actually kicked the football and sent it skidding over to the sidelines.  I also thought about how Degrassi spent an entire season building up Jane as being a totally badass football player, just to abandon the idea after a few episodes.  I guess my point is that I guess it would be great if a woman played in the NFL and totally dominated all of the 300-pound men who play in that league but I just don’t think it’s going to happen in my lifetime.

Oh well!  At least I can now say that I’ve spotted Lawrence Taylor on 1st & Ten.

 

 

Brad reviews UNHINGED (2020), starring Russell Crowe!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

I must admit that I’m not always the most patient guy in the world, and that extends to my driving. I get so frustrated when someone pulls slowly out right in front of me, or when another person camps out in the left lane of the interstate. Most of the time, these are just quick little moments that I quickly move on from, but what might happen if one day I decided to honk my horn and the person in the other car is a crazy psycho? UNHINGED takes that scary thought to the ultimate extreme.

The premise of the movie is about as simple as it gets. Rachel’s (Caren Pistorius) having a rough morning, and she’s running late while taking her son to school. When the truck in front of her doesn’t move at the green light, she decides to lay on her horn. The driver (Russell Crowe) pulls up beside her at the next light and requests an apology. When she refuses, he decides he’s going to teach her what a bad day really is. 

UNHINGED works because it’s a mean little thriller that exploits a fear that we can actually imagine. Most of us have a story that involves some level of road rage, and director Derrick Borte’s movie doesn’t waste a second once it gets going. It’s one of those movies where everything keeps getting worse for the terrorized Rachel while the tension continually ratchets up from the beginning to end. The violence is sudden and brutal so you never quite know what’s going to happen next, which definitely works in the film’s favor.

And then there’s the incredible Russell Crowe. Probably heavier than he’s ever been on screen, his psychopathic road rager is truly terrifying. Having witnessed his sick mental state early in the film, we know he’s capable of committing the most heinous acts imaginable. Crowe commits himself completely to this character, erasing any thoughts we have of his noble performances in movies like GLADIATOR or CINDERELLA MAN. Caren Pistorius is also effective as the woman who’s in for the fight of her life. I think she looks a lot like actress Shailene Woodley.  

UNHINGED isn’t a perfect film, as it does ask its audience to suspend quite a bit of disbelief. But with that said, it does offer 90 minutes of suspense anchored by Crowe’s incredibly intimidating performance. In my opinion, it’s a very effective film… and I doubt I honk at anybody on my way to work tomorrow morning!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.27 “Best Ex-Friends/All the Congressman’s Women/Three Faces of Love”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, season 7 comes to an end,

Episode 7.27 “Best Ex-Friends/All the Congressman’s Women/Three Faces of Love”

(Dir by Ted Lange, originally aired on May 12th, 1984)

This week, on The Love Boat, Gopher fires Isaac!

You read that right.  Gopher told Isaac, “You’re fired,” and it was one of the most shocking things I’ve ever seen on The Love Boat.  Some of that was because Gopher and Isaac were best friends.  Most of it was because I had no idea that Gopher could fire people.

Why does Gopher fire Isaac?  Because Isaac refuses to fire Tina Burnell (Eugenia Wright), the new barmaid that Isaac is currently dating.  In Gopher’s defense, Tina is terrible at her job.  Also, in Gopher’s defense, it really doesn’t seem ethical for Isaac to hire someone just because he wants to sleep with her.  In fact, that seems kind of icky by today’s standards.  Then again, this episode aired in 1984.  Times were apparently different back then.

The next morning, Gopher rehires Isaac and the two of them forgive each other.  But then Gopher puts in for a transfer to another ship because he feels that he’s too close to everyone on the boat to do a good job.  (Gopher is probably correct about this.)  Isaac finally admits that Tina is not a good enough barmaid and he gently fires her.  He assures her that, with her looks and personality, she’ll be able to find a new boss who wants to sleep with her and she’ll get a new job in no time.  Isaac chooses friendship over meaningless sex.  Awwwww!

I’m being snarky but this story actually worked far better than it had any right to.  Ted Lange and Fred Grandy always made for a good team.  Their friendship always feels real and, all other issues aside, it’s hard not be happy that they’re still friends at the end of this episode.

As for the other stories, Sal Viscuso plays a movie makeup artist who fears that his girlfriend (Heidi Bohay) is going to cheat on him.  He disguises himself as both Burt Reynolds and Doc Bricker in order to test her loyalty.  Amazingly, she’s touched by his devotion.

And finally, 11 year-old Tori Spelling plays a sociopathic little brat who doesn’t want her Congressman father (Sam Goom) to run for governor or marry his campaign manager (Phyllis Davis).  So, Tori starts cutting up newspapers and magazines and using the headlines to create threatening letters.  Somehow, no one has figured out that Tori is the culprit and the Congressman is traveling with a bodyguard.  (Hopefully, the Congressman is paying for the bodyguard himself and not charging the taxpayers.)  Eventually, Tori comes clean but only after she’s caught with a scissors, glue, and cut up magazine.  Personally, I think Tori should have been tossed overboard but instead, she accepts her father’s ambition and her new stepmother’s love.

This was the final episode of Season 7 and it wasn’t a bad one to go out on.  Tori Spelling was a terrible actress even at the age of eleven but the Gopher/Isaac storyline was touching.  Sadly, this was Lauren Tewes’s final episode and she did not get a grand send-off.  Instead, she was fired after this season because, as Tewes has admitted in several interviews, she was struggling with a serious cocaine addiction.  Tewes didn’t get to do much during Season 7 and, when you consider how important Julie was during the early seasons of The Love Boat, that’s a shame.

Out of respect for Lauren’s final episode, we’re retiring the HOW COKED UP WAS JULIE scale.  What’s important is that Lauren herself got clean and went on to appear in Twin Peaks: The Return.  Good for her!