John Finnegan | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, we finish up Highway to Heaven.

Episode 5.13 “Merry Christmas from Grandpa”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on August 4th, 1989)

The final episode of Highway to Heaven is a sad one for a number of reasons.

First off, it’s a Christmas episode but, because NBC never really gave the final season a regular spot on the schedule and instead of just aired the final 13 episodes whenever they needed to fill a hole, the finale didn’t air until August.

Secondly, the episode features Mark and Jonathan going “thirty years into the future,” — in this case to 2018. Mark is stunned to discover that he’s still alive in 2018. Jonathan tells him that it’s because he finally stopped smoking. In real life, Victor French died of lung cancer six months after filming this episode. Again, because of the way NBC handled the final season, French did not live to see the final episode aired.

Finally, the final episode of Highway to Heaven is not one of its strongest episodes. The strength of Highway to Heaven was that Jonathan and Mark spent their time helping ordinary people. Even if you didn’t agree with the show’s theology, it was hard not be touched by the earnest sincerity that lay at the heart of the majority of the episodes. Jonathan and Mark were do-gooders, in the best sense of the term.

That said, there were more than a few episodes that could be a bit preachy and that’s the case with this episode. As was often the case with Highway to Heaven‘s weaker episodes, this episode was inspired by Landon’s own environmentalism. On Christmas Eve, Jonathan and Mark visit three men — a businessman, a farmer, and the President (seriously!) — and bring with them visions of the future. The businessman sees that he has to stop promoting nuclear power. The farmer sees that he has to stop using insecticides. And the President watches as all of his future grandchildren and great-grandchildren vanish from existence as a result of him not doing something to protect the environment.

It’s heartfelt, yes. I don’t doubt Landon’s sincerity. But I just wish the final episode had been a bit more of a traditional episode. I wish that it had featured more of heart and the humor and the Landon/French chemistry that marked the show’s best moments. Of course, again, Landon had no way of knowing that Victor French was going to die. (Apparently, even though French does look noticeable thinner, he did not learn that he had lung cancer until after he filmed his last episode.) If the show had been renewed for another season, it’s doubtful it would have worked without the chemistry between Landon and French.

I’ve enjoyed reviewing this show. Originally, I didn’t think I would. I expected this show would bring out my cynical side with a vengeance and there were a few episodes that did just that. For the most part, though, this show won me over. Watching it, one gets the feeling that Michael Landon truly did want to make the world a better place. Who can’t be touched by that?

Next week, a new show will premiere here.

Though he’s clearly in his late 30s and doesn’t have much of a personality, Billy Batson (Tom Nolan) was the most popular student at Lavatoire University. Not only did all of the ladies love him but Billy was also Hogmeister, the king of school’s annual Hog Day. Everyone at the university loved Billy except for crusty old President Grimshaw (Larry Linville). Sadly, Billy was killed in a traffic accident that was entirely his fault. He had gone down to the local roadhouse to use their condom machine and he was so excited afterward that he dropped the condom while driving. When he reached down to grab it, he took his eyes off the road and one thing led to another. The lesson? Safe sex kills. That’s not a great lesson today and it was an even worse one in the 80s but what are you going to do?

Billy’s dead.

Or is he?

No, don’t worry, he’s dead. At the hospital, his spirit rises out of his body and he’s greeted by his deceased Uncle Pinky (John Finnegan). Pinky says that it’s time to go to Heaven but Billy wants just one more day so that he can oversee Hog Day and get laid. Pinky says no way but then he gets distracted by a comely nurse. Billy escapes from the hospital and returns to the campus.

Even though he’s dead, Billy still appears in corporeal form and everyone can talk to him. The only special power that Billy has is that he can wave his hand over his head and turn invisible. Billy uses his powers once or twice and there’s the expected trip to the girl’s shower but that’s really the extent of School Spirit‘s supernatural angle. The movie doesn’t really seem to be committed to the idea of Billy being dead. Also, at no point in the film does Billy Batson say “Shazam!,” and that really is unforgivable.

Billy wants to sleep with snooty Judith Hightower (Elizabeth Foxx) but then he gets distracted by Grimshaw’s wild daughter (Marta Kober) and also by Madeleine Lavatoire (Daniele Arnaud), who is visiting from France. It doesn’t take long for Billy to realize that Madeleine is the one for him but how can he fall in love with anyone when he’s going to have to go to the afterlife at midnight. Appropriately, it all ends with a case of deus ex machina. The ending makes no sense but neither does the rest of the movie so give School Spirit some credit for being consistent.

School Spirit is a stupid movie and, with the exception of Larry Linville and Marta Kober, the cast is a forgettable. This is the type of comedy that used to show up regularly on late night Cinemax. What it lacked in laughs, it made up for in boobs and that was really what the majority of its audience was watching for. People who stayed up late to watch Cinemax were not the most demanding viewers in the world. Today, the film will mostly appeal to people nostalgic for 80s sex comedies. Why they would watch School Spirit instead of something like Risky Business, I don’t know. Maybe they needed a movie to review for a blog.

Tomorrow, I finish off my Police Academy reviews by taking a look at Mission to Moscow!