Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.6 “Baby Food”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch continues to screw up even the simplest of tasks!

Episode 1.6 “Baby Food”

(Dir by Paul Krasny, originally aired on October 27th, 1977)

This week’s episode of CHiPs is yet another story about how Frank “Ponch” Poncharello is terrible at his job.

While riding down the highway, Ponch and Baker find themselves stuck behind a truck that is transporting several boxes of baby food.  Suddenly, the truck’s backdoor slides open and the boxes start to fall onto the highway.  Baker is able to easily dodge the boxes, pull up to the side of the truck, and motion for the driver to pull over.  Ponch, on the other hand, is nearly killed because he comes close to hitting every box that falls out in front of him.  I mean, the boxes are not that big.  I’ve never even driven a motorcycle and I could probably do a better job of avoiding them than Ponch did.

Once the driver of the truck has stopped and the boxes are being reloaded, Ponch and Baker head on their way.  They are heading to headquarters, where they are supposed to be waiting for a call from the courthouse to let them know if they need to come down and testify in a case.  Still, Baker finds the time to pull over and ask two hippies if they need any help changing a flat tire on their school bus.  Baker is perfect and Ponch …. well, Ponch is not.

At headquarters, Ponch hits on the dispatchers, commandeers a meeting room so he can watch his favorite soap opera, and is basically so obnoxious that Getraer kicks both Ponch and Baker out.  After taking some time to rescue a man and his dog from a car that’s caught on fire, Ponch and Baker head over to the trailer park that Ponch calls home.  Ponch wants to change his uniform (which got covered in soot as a result of the fire) and Baker wants to see Ponch’s beautiful new neighbor.  Despite being under orders to remain easily contactable, Ponch accidentally knocks his phone off the hook.

That’s not good because Gatraer actually needs to talk to Ponch.  It turns out that the baby food that fell off the truck is infected with botulism and two of the boxes are missing!  Gatraer has to leave his office and ride his bike all the way to Ponch’s trailer park to let Ponch — who is now wearing a “Keep on Trucking” t-shirt — know about the contaminated baby food.  Gatraer asks Ponch and Baker if they saw anyone scavenging at the scene.  It takes Baker a while to remember the school bus but at least he did remember!  Ponch apparently only has a five-minute attention span.

The hippies are eventually tracked down and their baby is rushed to the hospital, where he recovers.  While Gatraer congratulates Ponch and Baker on finding the contaminated food, he does tell them that they need to stop getting personal calls at the office.  It turns out that Melinda, the trailer park girl that Ponch likes, has been calling HQ and asking to speak to Baker.  Obviously, Melinda knows who has career potential and who is one mistake away from getting evicted from his mobile home.

This episode was enjoyable because it’s always fun to watch people get mad at Ponch.  Larry Wilcox reveals some unexpected comedic abilities in this episode.  (Just look at his face when he realizes Ponch is using a conference room to watch his favorite soap opera.)  I also liked how clean and friendly the trailer park was.  CHiPs originally aired quite a bit before my time but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the show led to be people moving to California.  I mean, even the trailer parks are nice to look at!

Horror Film Review: Mark of the Witch (dir by Tom Moore)


If I had to guess, I’d say that there is probably nothing more dangerous than being the descendant of a witch hunter.  Even though your ancestors may have found some success hunting witches back in 1622, the witch’s spirit always seems to stick around and wait for its chance to possess someone close to you and get revenge.  Apparently, it’s impossible to get rid of the spirit of a witch once it’s sworn a curse upon you and your family.  In fact, it would probably be better to save everyone the trouble and just leave the witches alone.  At least, that’s what I’ve gathered from watching movies with the word “witch” in title.

Take for example 1970’s Mark of the Witch.  The film opens with a bunch of witch hunter’s sacrificing The Witch (Marie Santell).  The Witch announces that she will have her vengeance, right before she’s hanged.  Jump forward a few centuries and The Witch possesses Jill (Anitra Walsh), a college student who made the mistake of accepting her professor’s invitation to a séance.

Now that Jill’s possessed, it’s time to go after the descendants of the main witch hunter.  To help her out with this, she blackmails the professor (Robert Elston) and demands that he explain to her how modern life works.  There are a few scenes that feel like they could have been lifted from one of those sci-fi shows where the robot or the alien requests to know why humans laugh when they’re happy.  I mean, I don’t know what this witch has been doing in the spirit world but apparently, she hasn’t been keeping up with the times on planet Earth.  Jill’s boyfriend (Darryl Wells) suspects that there’s something wrong with Jill.  Can he save her from the Witch?

Mark of the Witch was an early indie film.  It was shot in Dallas in the 60s and sat on the shelf for a while.  The cast was made up of local actors and to call the acting inconsistent would be an understatement.  That said, Marie Santell gives an enjoyably over the top performance as the Witch and Anitra Walsh is likeable as Jill.  Both of them are required to give lengthy monologues about spells and revenge and magic and all the rest and they both do their best to bring some conviction to the occasionally florid dialogue.  The film itself is a bit too talky to be scary but, visually, there are a few artfully composed shots.  The opening scene, in which the Witch is executed, plays out with a certain dream-like intensity.  It’s not a great film but it has its moments.

For the most part, Mark of the Witch is primarily interesting as an early example of outsider cinema.  The budget was low and the cast and crew may have been amateurs but they still managed to get their movie made and it’s hard not to admire their dedication.  When first released, the film apparently played in a handful of Dallas drive-in but now it can be seen by anybody who is willing to search for it on YouTube.  Mark of the Witch lives on.

Horror on the Lens: Panic at Lakewood Manor (dir by Robert Scheerer)


Today’s horror on the lens is a made-for-TV movie from 1977.  This movie has many different names: Panic at Lakewood Manor, It Happened At Lakewood Manor, and Ants.

Panic at Lakewood Manor is a mix of different genres.  It’s a disaster film, a soap opera, and ultimately a revenge-of-nature horror film.  The film begins with our cast gathering at Lakewood Manor, a luxury hotel that’s only partially finished.  In fact, the owners are so determined to complete construction that they ignore the threat posed by …. KILLER ANTS!

Anyway, this is a made-for-TV movie from the 70s so it’s never as graphic as what we’d expect to see today.  That said, I once accidentally stepped on a fire ant mound while I was barefoot and OH MY GOD DID THAT EVER HURT!  AGCK!

If you’re a fan of old movies, you’ll enjoy seeing a lot of familiar faces in this one.  Even Myrna Loy shows up!

(Incidentally, this film was written by Guerdon Trueblood, who directed the brilliant The Candy Snatchers.)